|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Hell: The world can go to hell
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
I have decided that I'm sick of it. Nothing in particular, except far too many demands on my time as of late, but I'd gladly sacrifice a limb, a non-essential organ, or a Democrat ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) to live somewhere far, FAR away from people and their crappy problems.
I hate people. They suck festering mongoose balls. And I'm a classic extrovert.
*sigh*
[ 18. June 2003, 23:53: Message edited by: Sarkycow ]
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Laura
General nuisance
# 10
|
Posted
[sickening church auntie voice]
Erin, my dear. It is because we all suck festering mongoose balls that only Jesus could love us and why he died for us.
[/sickening church auntie voice]
--------------------
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. - Erich Fromm
Posts: 16883 | From: East Coast, USA | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
You're on my list.
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
|
Posted
<passes silver hors d'oeurves platter to Erin.>
Here you are, dear; festering mongoose balls on a stick. Do try the dip.
![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
|
Posted
Erin, now you know why I sold my business in DC and moved to Corvallis to attend graduate school. The relative suck percentage here is far lower than the dreaded I-95 corridor on the East Coast. The only really sucky person I've met here is a Biophysics professor with no penis who tries to convince people that it doesn't matter because his brain is so big. In fact, his subatomic brain is smaller than his microscopic penis and he neither understands nor uses the mathematics he teaches to solve protein structures with NMR. He simply pieces information together like a geriatric doing a 5,000 piece puzzle of the base of Niagara Falls. To be frank, I don't like him.
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
maleveque
Shipmate
# 132
|
Posted
JimT:
How did you ever find out how big his penis is?
Erin:
Here's my mantra of the moment:
"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
-Linus
Do we need to send chocolate?
Anne L.
--------------------
Life isn't all fricasseed frogs and eel pie.
Posts: 1496 | From: Washington, DC or thereabouts | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
|
Posted
He was walking by the NMR one day and the technician accidentally shot a sample of his crotch. She immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the giggle and started engaging the zoom. At 32,000 times magnification she found a rod-like structure that did not show the characteristic chemical dispersion of E. coli. It is presumed that the structure in question was his penis and that it is no more than 1.5 microns in size.
Since you asked.
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
|
Posted
Erin you have to learn to see people with the eyes of Jesus.
--------------------
I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alt Wally
Cardinal Ximinez
# 3245
|
Posted
I work in the equities world, so I listen to people yell and say insulting things all day. No pit traders here, but lots of dickheads none the less. I think I'm used to it now, but I am in the I-95 suck corridor. My policy is to try and ignore everyone and keep people out of my office at all costs.
Posts: 3684 | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
|
Posted
Nightlamp, you realize Erin'll now be looking for a blunt spoon to do just that very thing! Though to avoid blasphemy, I suggest she tries it first with the eyes of the aforementioned Democrat.
--------------------
Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
Erin you have to learn to see people with the eyes of Jesus.
Except they might be a bit maggoty by now.
--------------------
This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sean D
Cheery barman
# 2271
|
Posted
I always assumed they were in heaven, still attached to his head.
[/sickly church uncle voice]
--------------------
postpostevangelical
http://www.stmellitus.org/
Posts: 2126 | From: North and South Kensington | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
I hate people.
well, you are one of them, Or are you sub-human...Ok, silly question.
Neil
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
|
Posted
Erin, I suspect this will suit your mood:
The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce
PS Check the entry for your avatar. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Note: this is a satiric dictionary. It is offensive, and is meant to be so.
--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
I don't think you need any specific eyeballs to see people in a manner similar to the way Jesus was reported to have done. All you have to do squeeze your eyes shut, to avoid seeing all their stinking filthy flaws, and chant loudly "la la la la, I know you're all nice in some way".
I propose that the only way in which some people are nice is grilled, with pungent flavour-covering sauce.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Clyde
Shipmate
# 752
|
Posted
Cheer up Erin, there's sure to be some jumped up obnoxious Apprentice along shortly.
(I know that chewing relieves tension in Alligators) ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
--------------------
I've not been on the ship for a long time. I'm very old now and don't like it when the sea gets rough.
Posts: 1279 | From: England. | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
|
Posted
Perhaps we should try the reverse of a process employed by Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good as it Gets." When asked how it is that he can write with such insight into his female characters he replies, "I imagine a man. Then I subtract reason and responsibility."
Perhaps we should imagine a typical asshole, then add reason and responsibility?
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
Erin you have to learn to see people with the eyes of Jesus.
Except they might be a bit maggoty by now.
Ok so you don't believe in the ressurection so maybe I should have the resurrected eyes of Jesus.
--------------------
I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
(Refraining from joining the "maggoty eyes of Jesus" debate. This has got to be the most macabre derailment I have ever seen.)
Erin, I have a recurring fantasy of moving to a remote Alaskan plain, where I can stand on my front porch and gaze at miles of nothing between me and my closest neighbor, fifteen miles away.
But then I'm an introvert.
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
You people are some sick motherfuckers.
I, too, am on the I95 suckage corridor. And now I'm even more seriously bummed out cause my Cinco de Mayo fiesta got cancelled. However, I made the dulce de leche, and I think I'm going to eat the whole can with a spoon.
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
And golden key, I may just make that my next signature.
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
(Refraining from joining the "maggoty eyes of Jesus" debate. This has got to be the most macabre derailment I have ever seen.)
Thanks Kelly, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long time. You've made my day.
--------------------
This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
I don't think you need any specific eyeballs to see people in a manner similar to the way Jesus was reported to have done. All you have to do squeeze your eyes shut, to avoid seeing all their stinking filthy flaws, and chant loudly "la la la la, I know you're all nice in some way".
I propose that the only way in which some people are nice is grilled, with pungent flavour-covering sauce.
come to Jesus, heathen.
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
|
Posted
Duchess,
Your right, grilled with a nice barbeque sauce is clearly better. Teriyaki would be better still.
Erin, can I provide a few democrats for you to sacrifice?
--------------------
Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
come to Jesus, heathen.
Shortly after you posted that, I had this warm feeling deep down inside.
It was gas.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Raspberry Rabbit
Will preach for food
# 3080
|
Posted
Erin wrote:
quote:
*sigh*
Awwwwww, Pookums!
Raspberry Rabbit
Montreal, QC
--------------------
...naked pirates not respecting boundaries...
(((BLOG)))
Posts: 2215 | From: In the middle of France | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Raspberry Rabbit
Will preach for food
# 3080
|
Posted
Rook wrote
quote:
Shortly after you posted that, I had this warm feeling deep down inside.
I had a warm feeling too. I hope mine was gas...
RR
MTL
--------------------
...naked pirates not respecting boundaries...
(((BLOG)))
Posts: 2215 | From: In the middle of France | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
However, I made the dulce de leche, and I think I'm going to eat the whole can with a spoon.
My God, woman, don't you know you're not supposed to leave it in the can! It can explode in the oven.
Looking on the bright side, no matter how sucky your life is right now, at least you didn't have to clean up exploded partially caramelized sweetened condensed milk from all over your kitchen. (This may or may not be a comfort at this time. I'm guessing not.)
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
|
Posted
Mind you with the mood Erin is in maybe it is maggoty eyes.
Doesn't the I-95 end in Miami? I have to say, nothing personal, but my two brief visits to Miami weren't that pleasant.
--------------------
I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
|
Posted
Yes, you can, if it's the right kind of can. That's how you make banoffee pie too.
--------------------
This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Yes, you can, if it's the right kind of can. That's how you make banoffee pie too.
Oh no - NOT banoffee pie ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
--------------------
Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
My God, woman, don't you know you're not supposed to leave it in the can! It can explode in the oven.
Only freaks put it in the oven. Mine was boiled all to hell in a big ol' chili pot.
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Queen
Apprentice
# 4489
|
Posted
erin, have you ever thought of suicide?
--------------------
Subjects: You SHALL continue to curtsy anad bow to me at Wimbledon. If you don't you shall spend eternity in the presence of my sister Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
Posts: 15 | From: SOCKPUPPET | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
Go fuck yourself, your highness. Please and thank you!
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
|
Posted
I think the Queen passed the flexible stage of fucking herself, around 50 years ago.....
--------------------
Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
|
Posted
erin - just thought youd like lots of hugs
(((((((erin)))))))) and ![[Love]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
tee hee
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ham'n'Eggs
Ship's Pig
# 629
|
Posted
Sweepstake anyone?
Bags I have May the 11th.
--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ham'n'Eggs
Ship's Pig
# 629
|
Posted
("anad" is obviously a typo for "anal")
--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ham'n'Eggs:
Sweepstake anyone?
Bags I have May the 11th.
Having taken a quick look-see at "view recent posts" my money is on the 7th.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Queen
Apprentice
# 4489
|
Posted
erin, I'm sorry you don't find the human race to your taste. But there again it might be your attitude towards other people rather than the people themselves at fault. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
--------------------
Subjects: You SHALL continue to curtsy anad bow to me at Wimbledon. If you don't you shall spend eternity in the presence of my sister Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
Posts: 15 | From: SOCKPUPPET | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
Why doesn't The Queen just smear herself with barbecue sauce?
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
come to Jesus, heathen.
Shortly after you posted that, I had this warm feeling deep down inside.
It was gas.
Get behind me SATAN! Now to Rook, you know YOU WANT THIS! Give in to the feelings and lay off the fiber for awhile, you farting-pagan-troubadour ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) or you will explode like the little explosive cherry bomb you are!
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Queen:
erin, I'm sorry you don't find the human race to your taste. But there again it might be your attitude towards other people rather than the people themselves at fault.
No, it's definitely the other people's fault. Starting with you, turd. Now let mommy and daddy have their computer back.
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
I want the 8th, but only because the 6th and 7th are taken.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
|
Posted
I guess it's got to be the 9th for me then. Oh, the suspense!
--------------------
Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
I want the 8th, but only because the 6th and 7th are taken.
Happy birthday to ME!
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
I think that effectively bumps up the odds for the 8th...
(Trying not to imagine how Erin would be in a "festive" mood.)
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
|
Posted
I believe the decorations involve heads on pikes, intestines strewn about like streamers, and necklaces of teeth, fingers and toes adorning various pillars and walls.
Should be fun
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
I hope the subject of this pool isn't what I think it is.
(Fingers axe-handle with all the restraint she can muster. Marie Antoinette was a queen,too, honey.) ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Printer-friendly view
