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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: You never see a Jesuit's skeleton in a tree
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
I'd be the only fat Jesuit in the world wearing Wayfarers, a Hawaiian-print shirt, and New Balance tennis shoes with his cassock.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
That's what you think. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Nonpropheteer
6 Syllable Master
# 5053
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
That's what you think.
Yeah, what makes Ken think that he's the only straight man that idolizes Magnum P.I.?
Posts: 2086 | Registered: Oct 2003
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Exactly! See, Tom Selleck was costumed for that role, so his appearance is artificial from the get-go, whereas my affinity for Wayfarers, Hawaiian shirts, sneakers or flip-flops, and cargo shorts spring forth from an innate hipness from me being born in L.A.
All the native SoCal Shipmates possess this, in varying degrees.
You can even see a slightly different flavor of this in the native Florida Shipmates.
[ 21. May 2004, 17:28: Message edited by: Kenwritez ]
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
my affinity for Wayfarers, Hawaiian shirts, sneakers or flip-flops, and cargo shorts spring forth from an innate hipness from me being born in L.A.
All the native SoCal Shipmates possess this, in varying degrees.
I do not wear Wayfarers, flip-flops or cargo shorts. I have a pair of sneakers; I wear them on the rare occasions when I get exercise. I have one Hawaiian shirt, bought for Hawaiian shirt day at the office a few years ago. It's one of those tasteful Hawaiian shirts (if a Hawaiian shirt can be tasteful) with a black background and a conservative arrangement of palm branches (if palm branches can be conservatively arranged).
But I was born in Fresno and grew up on the central coast, so I'm not native to SoCal - guess that explains it. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
But I was born in Fresno and grew up on the central coast, so I'm not native to SoCal - guess that explains it.
Yes, but we love you anyway.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
Exactly! See, Tom Selleck was costumed for that role, so his appearance is artificial from the get-go, whereas my affinity for Wayfarers, Hawaiian shirts, sneakers or flip-flops, and cargo shorts spring forth from an innate hipness from me being born in L.A.
All the native SoCal Shipmates possess this, in varying degrees.
You can even see a slightly different flavor of this in the native Florida Shipmates.
Yes, the South Florida contingent to the International Meet last year had their lovely matching Hawaiian shirts. But my wardrobe was rounded out with Saucony sneaks and Ace Hardware $2.99 sunglasses.
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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
I was thinking Florida was more of a hugely fat old Santas with enormous hairy white bellies wearing red Speedos thing, or geezers in Bermuda shorts and black socks, the former kind of exactly not like these guys.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
Ken, you are a scary guy.
Just let me know where those guys in the Santa Speedos are. Need to make sure they're...ummm...authentic!! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Ken, you are a scary guy.
Why does everyone keep saying that to me?!
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Just let me know where those guys in the Santa Speedos are. Need to make sure they're...ummm...authentic!!
Egad! I can see the headlines now: "WOMAN ARRESTED IN MASS SPEEDO GROPING" "BOSTON RACE INTERRUPTED BY CRAZED WOMAN," or, "FL WOMAN HOSPITALIZED WITH FRICTION BURNS ON HER HANDS"
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Ken, you are a scary guy.
Why does everyone keep saying that to me?!
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Just let me know where those guys in the Santa Speedos are. Need to make sure they're...ummm...authentic!!
Egad! I can see the headlines now: "WOMAN ARRESTED IN MASS SPEEDO GROPING" "BOSTON RACE INTERRUPTED BY CRAZED WOMAN," or, "FL WOMAN HOSPITALIZED WITH FRICTION BURNS ON HER HANDS"
![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) The beards, Ken, the beards!
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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Well, the Jesuit rescued himself, so he's ok, but a new crisis has arisen, this time in our household.
Our Franciscan won't come out from behind the dryer.
We've tried dribbling his kibble and shaking his favorite squeaky toy to lure him out, but no good. I even put on the stereo a recording of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen's "Greatest Hits," but to no avail.
Anyone have any suggestions?
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
I have known either of two methods to work.
1) Stop annoying him. Just put his food and water down, make sure he's got a litter tray and clear out. He'll emerge in his own good time. It may take a few days. You kids have got to realize that a Franciscan is not a toy.
2) Rub yourself with tunafish and lie quietly on your back on the floor, with your eyes closed. When you feel that little rough tongue on you, you know that all's well. Don't jump up too quickly though, or you're back to square one.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
As you may have gathered, I don't buy the argument that Franciscans are dogs. All religious communities seem to bear a family resemblance to the social life of cats. Oh look--Sister Margaret Mary has displaced Sister Etheldreda from the corner by the Aga.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Seth
Shipmate
# 3623
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Posted
![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif) Stop it Amos,your second suggestion is making my mouth water..
Posts: 566 | From: Wiltshire, UK | Registered: Dec 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Seth
But suppose for a moment that the analogy was correct. Then the thing to do would be to reach around your appliance and grasp the Franciscan gently but firmly by the scruff of the neck. Bring him out and put a long leash on him--a piece of clothesline with a clip for the collar knotted onto the end will do. You will need to keep him at your side for about the next week, talk to him and handle him a lot, teach him to lie down by you while you work, and, for Christ's sake take him out every hour. He has a tiny little bladder, you know. And by the way, this is what comes of picking the little shy Franciscan in the corner just because you feel sorry for him.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Seth
Shipmate
# 3623
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Posted
![[Smile]](smile.gif) You sound like a man with a lot of good pet-sense,Amos.
Posts: 566 | From: Wiltshire, UK | Registered: Dec 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Thank you, Seth.
And I hope I have some insight into the religious life... ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Seth
Shipmate
# 3623
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Posted
It does sound like it.They're quite close together,if your theories are right
(I was looking at this amazing dog-training website from an Orthodox monasrey in the U.S recently..)
Posts: 566 | From: Wiltshire, UK | Registered: Dec 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
And by the way, this is what comes of picking the little shy Franciscan in the corner just because you feel sorry for him.
Well, I'm not sure if the Franciscan is working out as we'd hoped, we may have to return him to the abbot.
What would you suggest for a family with an 11 yr old boy who's pretty gentle with pets? I don't want a Jesuit as cleaning their cassocks constantly is wearisome and their book bills are outrageous.
What about a Trappist? Their only drawback AFAIK is they don't make much noise so it's easy to lose them. Hmmm, Benedictines? I don't know anything about them, other than they make fruitcakes and are reportedly great at playing fetch.
My neighbor keeps telling me to go get an Orthodox, but I don't want to spend a fortune on the constant grooming they require.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
I think you should get your boy a nice Unitarian Universalist Minister. The equipment can be a bit pricey (filtration system, oxygenator, a decent sized acquarium), but they are wonderfully calming and educational, which is why you see so many of them in doctors' and dentists' waiting rooms. Remember to tell your boy not to overfeed!
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Hmmm, but don't the UU's get along poorly with anyone else except another UU? I wouldn't want to have my stepson take his UU minister out for walkies only to be beset by barky Baptists!
Speaking of the Reformed, what's your advice about a nice Methodist?
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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ChristinaMarie
Shipmate
# 1013
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Posted
Ken,
For the Francsiscan you need a bunny, or a Jesuit!
Christina
Posts: 2333 | From: Oldham | Registered: Jul 2001
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
I was thinking Florida was more of a hugely fat old Santas with enormous hairy white bellies wearing red Speedos thing, or geezers in Bermuda shorts and black socks, the former kind of exactly not like these guys.
Kenwritez:
If you are going to admire Magnum PI and post links like this, you are invited to send your application to our membership secretary, Sine Nomine. We will be happy to review your application for admission to the Fraternal and Admirable Guy Society. The chair of the membership community, Chastmaster, will be happy to answer any questions you may have.
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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
The trouble with Methodists is the 'singing'. One starts, and pretty soon every Methodist in the neighbourhood is giving voice. Your neighbours are sure to complain.
Otherwise a Methodist would be nice and clean, easy to train, and sociable with other children and their pets. The different types can differ slightly in temperament, though. A Welsh Methodist, a United Methodist, and an African Methodist Episcopal can seem breeds apart. Temperament testing is key, as is the old adage about 'catch him young and train him'. A District Superintendent will be quite unmanageable.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
What about spaying and neutering? I know those aren't issues with the Catholic animals, but how does one approach that topic with, say, Methodists or Baptists or Anglicans?
Also, what about proper feeding? Dry kibble or wet food? My dad always taught me to crack a raw egg on top of the kibble as that would give them a shinier, healthier pelt, which I know is seen most prevalently on the Greek and Russian Orthodox.
What's a breed of monastic that is hardy, disease resistant, and is comfortable around children? (I prefer one that doesn't suffer from excessive drooling.) Or ought I to cast my net further afield, say, into the Reformists?
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
A hardy, disease resistant breed would be a Methodist Bishop. But I don't know how they are around children. They are best as a solitary pet, as they tend to plop themselves down with the intention of ruling the roost. (They aren't good mousers either, as I understand their habits. They are better as ornamentals.)
The garden variety of Methodist, however, is eager to please and easy to feed! A casserole or box of fried chicken will please them immensely... plus they are very good with children!
The breed is shrinking as a whole, so you may want to hold off on the spaying and neutering business until you make sure you don't want more than one. Do keep them indoors, though.
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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
A Methodist Bishop, eh? A friend of our family used to own a Bishop, but I don't recall what type. I know it was one of the fattest Bishops I'd ever seen, he was almost spherical! He had a foul temper, forever hissing at strangers, but he loved to bring in whatever he'd killed in the backyard and drop it at your feet, prefereably while you were eating dinner, then sit back on his haunches and look at you expectantly.
One night I stayed over, and went to the refrigerator at midnight for something to drink. I heard a rasping sound, like a crosscut saw being dragged through wet asparagus, and when I turned on the light to investigate, the Bishop was curled up on top of the frig, asleep and snoring! How he'd gotten up there, no one could say.
He loved his little chew toys and commentary sets and process theology library, though. Many's the night we say him writing away on a sermon, only to stop, cock his leg up to his ear and then give himself a tongue bath.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
My wife told me I'd enjoy reading this thread and she was right! I laughed like a drain!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Furry Gherkin
Shipmate
# 5641
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Posted
Gosh...I didnt realise there were so many breeds....Thinking of getting a rare breed....Like a Salvationist...maybe two.........But where can I hide them from Mother...?...
FG
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I Think...Therefore I cant Thwim...
In tribute to all at Morecambe Lifeboat Station...
Posts: 96 | From: By the sea-side... | Registered: Mar 2004
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
I used to have a Muggletonian, but it died.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
What about a nun? I understand they're very good with children, and of course she wouldn't need spaying.
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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Margaret
Shipmate
# 283
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Posted
I agree that a gentle, well-trained nun would make a delightful pet - but I think you'd need to take care in selecting your nun. Some of them turn out to have a streak of steel which can make them very difficult to handle sometimes.
Has anyone considered some of the more exotic breeds? Hare Krishnas, despite their unusual appearance, are usually gentle, fun-loving and clean creatures, and the fact that they're vegetarians means that they don't cost too much to feed.
Posts: 2456 | From: West Midlands UK | Registered: May 2001
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Madake
Shipmate
# 3343
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Posted
Ken,
You know this, perhaps you have just forgotten. What you want for a family pet is a good hearty pet, one that won't sicken and die easily.
So. What you need is a pet with hybrid vigor, say a child of a Jesuit and a Southern Baptist or perhaps a cross breed between a Franciscan and a Unitarian Universal-ist.
Now of course some of these crosses are hard to come by, but well worth the trouble.
Of course for a fully hardy breed try the Zen-C.o.E.-Hindu/Methodists Seventh Day Baptist,
Reformed (of course)
BTW VERY funny
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Peanut Butter Cookie recipe is driving me nuts...must be too much flour
Posts: 285 | From: Redlands, California | Registered: Sep 2002
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JellyHead
# 3880
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Madake:
Of course for a fully hardy breed try the Zen-C.o.E.-Hindu/Methodists Seventh Day Baptist,
Though this particular cross can suffer from panic attacks brought on by existential doubt. It is best to put down a few old newspapers, and a National Geographic, until this subsides.
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One whole cucumber sandwich short of a picnic.
Posts: 308 | From: Up in the treehouse | Registered: Jan 2003
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Excellent idea! (re: mutts)
I've heard from friends that an Orthodox/Southern Baptist is a very hardy mix, easily trainable and possessed of an exceedingly loyal temperament. Can anyone verify this?
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
Can't say much about the Orthodox/Southern Baptist hybrid, as I've never seen one. The Southern Baptists tend to be a little too enthusiastic for my taste, always jumping on you and whatnot.
But then, I have two UU ministers. They're great for city living, but you're quite right - they are indoor pets. The poor things always get attacked if they venture out on their own. Which is why I'm going for a mutt next time. A friend of mine has Franciscan/UU mix that's both friendly and capable of fending for itself.
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"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Madake
Shipmate
# 3343
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
Excellent idea! (re: mutts)
I've heard from friends that an Orthodox/Southern Baptist is a very hardy mix, easily trainable and possessed of an exceedingly loyal temperament. Can anyone verify this?
Ken, I am not aware of anyone that has that breed out here in CA, maybe the liberal coastal climate is too much for them.
You could go for a really rare breed; any Quaker cross or any Branch Davidian cross would be Very Rare! Who knows what qualities you would get though, the BD cross would I think make for more hiding behind the dryer which brings us full circle I think.
Madake
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Peanut Butter Cookie recipe is driving me nuts...must be too much flour
Posts: 285 | From: Redlands, California | Registered: Sep 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Madake:
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez:
Excellent idea! (re: mutts)
I've heard from friends that an Orthodox/Southern Baptist is a very hardy mix, easily trainable and possessed of an exceedingly loyal temperament. Can anyone verify this?
Ken, I am not aware of anyone that has that breed out here in CA, maybe the liberal coastal climate is too much for them.
You could go for a really rare breed; any Quaker cross or any Branch Davidian cross would be Very Rare! Who knows what qualities you would get though, the BD cross would I think make for more hiding behind the dryer which brings us full circle I think.
While the BD cross would indeed be *very* rare (except when it'd be well done... ) I lived in Texas duuring that breed's media exposure, and I found them to be extremely high-strung, possessed of an irritating bark. I'm not familiar with Quakers, but their reputation for spending their days lying in a sunny spot is a bit off-putting, as I prefer a bit more activity in my breeds.
I agree w/ saysay; the UU ministers are hopeless as outdoor pets, but I suspect it's due to a genetic trait brought on by too much inbreeding: No spine.
Ideally, I'm looking for a breed with the sophistication of an Episcopalian or even a Presbyterian, but with the Southern Baptist ability to defend itself (minus the barking and drooling, tho) but all with the compatibility of a Methodist.
I've given up on the Orthodox as their coats simply require far too much grooming, and in winter-summer seasonal transitions, they shed copiously! Ditto for Roman Catholics, they seem to have difficulty going away from home for any appreciable distance and they go through chew toys at an amazing rate.
However, someone mentioned Franciscans; as a breed, what are they like? I was under the impression they were passive creatures, like Anglicans. How difficult is it to housebreak a Franciscan?
Southern Baptists, despite their reputation for aggressiveness, are remarkably easy to train and heel to leash quite well, and seem to work well with children.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Of course, rarest of all is your Shaker purebred, or Shaker cross.
Of course in Scotland, we have some interesting native breeds. The Wee Freebie is less common than it used to be - semi-feral these days, and a very uncertain temper. The Common Presby is aimable, but a bit toothless. And you can still find a Piskie - but they can be very highly strung, and they are murder on your soft furnishing I believe (they try and wear them).
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
Mormon missionaries are very popular hereabouts, but they don't do well alone--you really need to get a pair. Also they're very energetic and need a lot of exercise. On the plus side, they're exceptionally trainable, doing very well in obedience trials, and while talkative, they aren't loud. If left fertile, they will produce a litter pretty much every year once they reach maturity.
I'd advise against a Quaker, since while they have gentle temperaments and are quiet and usually easy to get along with, they are virtually untrainable. Just when you think they've learned to stay off the sofa they get a leading and you're back at square one. And walking them is a nightmare, especially if you have more than one--reaching a consensus on left or right at every corner can make a twenty-minute walk take two hours.
Timothy
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When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Well, I went down to the pound yesterday and looked over what they had.
The first one I saw was a hairless Buddhist. He just sat in his cage and stared at me. It would take quite a long time for me to grow accustomed to having one of those in my house!
The second ones I saw were two Anglican ministers, somewhat elderly, typically jowly and with huge, sad eyes. They appeared devoted to each other, sharing without complaint their water bowl, kibble and BCP. However, they didn't seem to have much energy so I passed them by.
I remember one little fellow I saw, a United Pentecostal, who full of zip and energy, yipping and charging across his cage floor back and forth, scattering his newspaper and Kenneth Hagin books. I'm afraid he'd be murder on my furniture, though.
Now, this pound was a bit better equipped than others I'd been to, they even had a small aviary where I saw numerous Episcopalian and even a Roman Catholic priest or two, every one of them a riot of color in their exotic plumage, and all of them crouched on their roosts. For some reason sherry bottles littered the floor of the aviary.
I didn't find what I was looking for, so my guide suggested I come back next week after the quarter ends, as many churches will be re-evaluating their pastoral needs then and quite a few ministers are released to the pound or even into the wild.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kenwritez
Now, this pound was a bit better equipped than others I'd been to, they even had a small aviary where I saw numerous Episcopalian and even a Roman Catholic priest or two, every one of them a riot of color in their exotic plumage, and all of them crouched on their roosts. For some reason sherry bottles littered the floor of the aviary.
No gin bottles?
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Eigon
Shipmate
# 4917
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Posted
I saw a sketch on a comedy show once (can't remember which show, or who was in it or anything), but it involved a group of people sitting in a living room, chatting, while a Bishop in full episcopals crouched on top of a cupboard in the corner. One of the people asked, "How long have you had him?"
The reply was "Since he was a Deacon."
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Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.
Posts: 3710 | From: Hay-on-Wye, town of books | Registered: Aug 2003
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
It's too bad that the Koreshans are extinct, as I think you would find one of them the ideal pet. Intelligent, helpful and easy on the environment. (They tended to walk on the inside of the Earth.) Unfortunately, they refused to breed. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
They were mutts, you know.
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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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Cusanus
Ship's Schoolmaster
# 692
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Posted
Just don't get a Dominican. They bite.
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"You are qualified," sa fotherington-tomas, "becos you can frankly never pass an exam and have 0 branes. Obviously you will be a skoolmaster - there is no other choice."
Posts: 3120 | From: The Peninsula | Registered: Jul 2001
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Seth
Shipmate
# 3623
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Posted
....and it would be unfair to try to muzzle him.
Posts: 566 | From: Wiltshire, UK | Registered: Dec 2002
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