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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: South Coast/ Bible Belt Christianity
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strathclydezero
# 180
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Posted
It's the who's who of Christianity. If you're not coming then what do you spend your life doing? Anglicanism is the middle road, the tolerant choice - but it's not where the real buzz is. Christian rock music, Christian gigs, Christian workshops, Christian media, Christian dating agencies, Christian singles nights, Christian theatre, Christian coffee shops, Christian pubs, Christian nightclubs, Christian conferences, Christian jobs, Christian internet access, Christian supermarkets, Christian bloke drinking clubs, Christian moisturising cream, Christian Television ... God, we're so Christian.
I subscribe to a Christian music magazine, and I'm into 4Him, Big Tent Revival, Caedmon's Call, Delirious?, Newsong, Point Of Grace, Take 6, Third Day and True Vibe - amongst others. I like to do a few festivals in the summer, maybe a couple of conferences - God just really blesses me. The choice is just phenomenal, if you don't fit in you could try the post-Christian church, or if you're just a spirit freak there's the really great black gospel church. Or if you fit the middle of the road niche you can just stick to Anglicanism.
What's important is that God is present in everything I do - he's always there by my side, never wavering. If I run over a cat, God is with me. If I sneeze God blesses me. If I swear (and I'm saying bl**dy too much at the moment) it's ok, because Christ has done everything for me.
Our church is growing, in fact it's almost outgrown the new building. Probably because we did away with the hymns that no-one could sing. We've just added a new gymnasium, a food court, a day-care centre, and new classrooms. One of my friends is coming along to the basketball mission, he's a really good player but get's caught out with the Christian rules we play. I tell him he has to get used to it because if you don't like being amongst a lot of people worshipping God, you are not going to like heaven.
[ 10. November 2003, 16:30: Message edited by: Sarkycow ]
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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov
Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001
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Mrs Smith - nee Lady G
Shipmate
# 3746
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Posted
You really are a bitter old tart Strathie...
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"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." (Unknown)
Posts: 854 | From: Central London innit | Registered: Dec 2002
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Lurker McLurker™
Ship's stowaway
# 1384
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Posted
Lord, I just wanna thank you for Strathclydezero and his courage in spreading the word here today. I just pray that all who read it would be really blessed and inspired and challenged and it brings REVIVAL to the land, where everyone will turn away from sinful stuff and only do your things with your people. And I cast down the stronghold of the evil culture that just really corrupts our young people, and I bind and loose it too.
And I just really pray that all those who go to pubs and cafes and listen to non-Christian music and watch non-christian TV will be really challenged, yes that you would speak to them lord, and challenge them.
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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?
Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001
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Mrs Smith - nee Lady G
Shipmate
# 3746
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Posted
Yes Lord - bless 'im.
But not too much! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." (Unknown)
Posts: 854 | From: Central London innit | Registered: Dec 2002
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
I have found the perfect church.... HOORAY!
It boasts a 2.am service for insomniacs, a Christian knitting circle, and a Christian pipe smokers area. The christian cafe serves wholemeal organic meals served with lashinngs of tofu, and is wittily named the last supper...
It likes to be welcoming and tolerant and respectful to all other religions too, so the Buddists regularly use the facilities for their chanting practice... and we are presently knitting a new centre piece for the next Divali festival. How the congregation has grown! Sadly it was necessary to demolish a Council run Old People's home to accomodate the new car park, but we know that the Lord was with us as we made that painful decision.
We have excellant creche facilities, where the children can play in a padded area, however we suspect that at least one child has been abandoned by his mother as he has not been collected for over two weeks, and we have searched the building with tracker dogs, and have not yet been able to locate her.
Ah yes we are truly blessed! ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
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Posted
Which South Coast are we talking about?
It's certainly not the one I live on, anyway.
Neil
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
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Mrs Smith - nee Lady G
Shipmate
# 3746
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Posted
Y'know - I really should be offended at this. But you've done the stereotype so well, that instead it's funny. Much like watching the Office or Fawlty Towers.
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"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." (Unknown)
Posts: 854 | From: Central London innit | Registered: Dec 2002
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
I happen to know there's a mini-meet going on today - as I type, I think - in the Coffe Shop of a church in England - where two Shipmates I love are laughing it up and giving each other a hug from me.
If a church wants to focus on the fellowship and encouragement so much that they have a Starbuck's and a Raquetball court and a One-Stop Plastic Surgery Center, who am I to disagree?
My Mates would not be enjoying each other right now if they hadn't found they'd a common interest in that church and its cafe.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Old Hundredth
Shipmate
# 112
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by footdoc:
I have found the perfect church.... HOORAY!
Well, don't join it or you'll spoil it ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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If I'm not in the Chapel, I'll be in the bar (Reno Sweeney, 'Anything Goes')
Posts: 976 | From: The land of the barm cake | Registered: May 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
And just a great big PTL for the many Christian businesses springing up today. My own Christian Carpet Cleaners is doing real good thanks to Brother Leroy down at the bank giving us an extension on our Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings.
I'm just saddened by the un-Christian attitude of customers like the woman I talked to on the phone today who talked real ugly about how she had moved all her furniture for the second time and we still hadn't been able to make it out there for our appointment. Lord help her with her anger problem and make her a true Christian, she was not at all understanding about our young receptionist and her troubles with remembering things or our illness and drinking problems within our staff. That poor woman has gone over to the other Carpet Cleaners that we are sure is from the devil. We will be praying for her.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
"And you'll only drink milk from a Christian cow."
--Steve Taylor
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wesley S Chappell
Shipmate
# 4186
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Posted
Ay-men.And Lord at this time we just wanna offer up to you our concerns about the menfolk down at First Presbapwesleyan on 19th and Main, last week at their Saturday Morning Men's Prayer Group and Bondage, er Bonding Meet, one of the guys was heard humming the tune of an Alice Cooper song, he tried to claim it was a new hymn he'd heard but we don't believe him Lord, and Lord we ask yer blessing on our new venture, to keep men away from sinful topless bars and lap dancing clubs, it's the Christian Clothed Club, where the waitresses are all Bible believers and don't serve alcohol, we think it's gonna be a big success Lord...
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ALMIGHTY God, the fountain of all wisdom, who knowest our necessities before we ask, and our ignorance in asking.
Posts: 477 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2003
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
Appologies for the double post, but I hoped to interest you in the activities of our Christian Knitting group... sadly we have not managed to attract many 20 yr olds into this area of outreach and ministry, and would welcome prayer and guidance on this sensitive subject.
To date, we have just completed our mammoth feeding of the five thousand epic knitting marathon, unfortunately we ran out of wool and only managed 4746, despite many appeals from the pulpit for people to donate their cast offs.
We are currently seeking new divine inspiration for our next project, and would welcome any suggestions. Many thanks.
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by footdoc:
Appologies for the double post, but I hoped to interest you in the activities of our Christian Knitting group... sadly we have not managed to attract many 20 yr olds into this area of outreach and ministry, and would welcome prayer and guidance on this sensitive subject.
Just have faith sister. Faith can move mountains.
And remember the Word of God.
As it says in Judges Chapter 20 and Verse 11:
quote:
And all the men of Israel were gathered against the city, knit together as one man.
Have faith sister, and God will raise up men to knit together, faithful men, men after his own heart, men who can take territories and conquer cities for their Lord.
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Glimmer
Ship's Lantern
# 4540
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Posted
Lord, we wanna just pray for the people here tonight and just bless them. Lord bring your anointing. Pour out your Holy Spirit, Lord, on our new daily family all-age open outreach services for true salaried Christians, Lord. We pray, Lord, that they will be multiplied in abundance, Lord, and bring joyously their tithes so that you will overflow their anointing and blessing. We pray for the family all-age open outreach recording studio and video editing suite for our dear blessed music group and ask that you annoint with abundance the tape and CD duplication equipment that, Lord, we had the EXACT money for in the orphan’s fund and we thank you, Lord, for that and give you the glory. Lord, in precious Jesus’ name we lift up to you our family all-age open outreach ministry mission to Barbados, Lord. We trust, Lord, that our flights will be on time and our golf luggage will arrive at the right destination, Lord, and bring us to good hotels, Lord, so that we can witness to your abundant richness which you supply for our humble needs in your service. Grant that we be refreshed by the mission to the people who have paid their savings to listen to your word, Lord, through our ministry. Amen.
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The original, unchanged 4540.
The Temple area, Ankh Morpork
Posts: 1749 | From: Ankh Morpork, Dorset | Registered: May 2003
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that Wikkid Person
Shipmate
# 4446
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Posted
Lord, we pray to thee in all meekness and sincerity because thou art truly the Holy One who should have the preeminence. Lord, make us feel grateful, fill our hearts with love for thee. Our hearts are so empty and cold, Lord, make us love thee as we ought.
We know, Lord, that there are not many great, not many mighty among us, and we know that there are many, many other places, tables of men where so much excitement is going on, but we thank thee that we have been blessed in being led to be gathered by the power of thy Holy Spirit, to a place of thy choosing, as of a large upper room, furnished, following the man bearing the pitcher of water, which speaks, oh Lord, of Thy Holy Spirit again, there. We thank thee that we are not merely left to choose just any place to come Lord's Day Morning, but we thank thee that in thy Word thou hast clearly shown exactly what thy Will is. We are not better than anyone else, Lord. We know that. Keep us grateful for blessing us in showing us where Thou would have us come, to "see Jesus".
Keep us in the way that we should go, and help us to see more perfectly thy perfect will for us, thy plan for each and every one of us, each and every step of the way. There are those that are sick, Lord, we pray for Mrs. Kinnon, who has complained of a sore elbow all week, Lord, and Mr. Crenshaw, whose bowels are uneasy, be with them both and comfort them in this most difficult time. Be with our young people, too, oh Lord, keep them from the world and its blandishments, its temptations. Keep them following closely after thee, Lord, help them to keep the old landmarks as it were, to Go On Well For Thee.
We pray for many who could be here tonight, but are not, for those who have grown cold in their souls. We pray that they might be warmed up, and energized to come out and be seen among us, where The Lord Is. We pray for our brother Bob who is ministering in Cleveland, among the natives there. May he feel just a special awareness of thy presence there with him at this time as he does thy work.
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We have only one truth and one reality. Let's make the most of them.
Posts: 1007 | From: Almonte, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
Dear Lord, I just want to lift up a quick prayer for this young lad, strathclydezero, who claims to be one of your children, Father, but who, oh dear Father, has used profanity (fowl language, even ) in his sig. Please pour out your cleansing spirit upon him, purify him, send one of your loving flock to wash his mouth out with soap. Thank you Father for the mighty work I know that you will do in his life. Amen.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Edward Green
Review Editor
# 46
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Posted
>strumming<
Yes Lord!
We are a noo generation lord, giving ar lives for yoo! Yoo came n saved us Lord, yoo cut the crap out of ar lives, yoo cut the crap out of ar lives. Yeah ... n it werntt just sa we could buy clothes in the Top Shop sale and wear skate trainers, na, becoz it's all about yoo lord. JEEESUS! JEEESUS!
We wanna fank yoo for your church Lord, how yoo are raising up a noo church in the world but not of the world, yeah Lord coz we know you don't wan your kids to look out of fashion, coz being a christian is cool Lord! We pray for all those who have come to kna yoo through this noo generation church Lord, but we pray also Lord for those who no longer love your name, we pray for Bill who left because he said that we are doing the same 1970's worship as ar parents did but with louder instruments, and we pray for mary who said she wanted more than singing, preachng and topshop. Save them Lord, bring them out of that High n Dry Church back to your trooth!
Thank ya Jesus that yoo have put a noo song in ar harts! >strumming< lets all sing!
"nan na nan na na na naan na"
"Jesus"
"nan na nan na na na naan na"
"Yeah"
....fades
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blog//twitter//
linkedin
Posts: 4893 | Registered: May 2001
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
I am going to pray for you brother Scz, that you learn how to become a REAL Christian...and learn the RIGHT WAY. Get off your heathen path, Braveheart! Beware! The KOG is at hand! Take off your kilt of unrighteousness and put on the kilt of HUMILITY! Humble yourself, boy. Also learn to [show the RIGHT people respect] since we have a direct link to God. I'll put in a good word for you, at my own pleasure.
[ 05. August 2003, 23:04: Message edited by: duchess ]
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Wesley S Chappell
Shipmate
# 4186
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Posted
And Lord we just wanna remember those non-christian churches, you know, the ones where they wear funny robes and worship graven images, and preach from a pulpit instead of shouting really close into a microphone while wandering up and down zapping people...
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ALMIGHTY God, the fountain of all wisdom, who knowest our necessities before we ask, and our ignorance in asking.
Posts: 477 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2003
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Astro
Shipmate
# 84
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Posted
Can I make a speacial appeal for unwanted overhead projectors
Now that most churches are using powerpoint presentations, their disused overhead projectors can be sent to churches in third world countries to enhance their worship experience.
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if you look around the world today – whether you're an atheist or a believer – and think that the greatest problem facing us is other people's theologies, you are yourself part of the problem. - Andrew Brown (The Guardian)
Posts: 2723 | From: Chiltern Hills | Registered: May 2001
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Wesley S Chappell
Shipmate
# 4186
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Posted
Lord we just wanna ask yore blessing on our churches 'Project Or', our mission to illuminate the dark continent. We'll be driving off to Africa in a truck full of old overhead projectors to donate to their churches and...what's that Lord? What about the churches there that don't have electricity...ah sh*t!!!!
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ALMIGHTY God, the fountain of all wisdom, who knowest our necessities before we ask, and our ignorance in asking.
Posts: 477 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2003
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Another plea.
We have a shortage here at Bread Of Life, Life Of Conquering Kings fellowship.
Some of our teenage and young twenties girls do not have access to fluffy seal posters with "Please Be Patient, God Hasn't Finished With Me Yet" on them, or red plastic radio-cassette players.
If you have any of these items, please let us know. We have just the place for them.
[ 06. August 2003, 13:06: Message edited by: Karl - Liberal Backslider ]
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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flutterpink
Shipmate
# 4567
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Posted
Oh dear Lord thank you sooooo much for all you've done in our outreach ministry. You have truly helped us bring 15 more teenagers from the other baptist churches (and even some catholics!) into our youth group. Please help us cultivate a spirit of community with these middle of the road believers. And oh Lord, I know that you can give us a passion and healing. Dear precious God, pleeeaaaassssee heal the apathy in our church and move the hearts of the men and women here to donate the posters, because we know they have them, and God please see our need and help us to buy out that successful coffee shop close to the college that we know is beloved by the students but maintains their walls with pagan poetry. Help us, dear God to put in another, larger, more christian campus ministry there.
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"I'd rather have a minute of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothin special." Steel Magnolias
Posts: 358 | From: nacogdoches | Registered: May 2003
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Wesley S Chappell
Shipmate
# 4186
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl - Liberal Backslider:
Another plea.
We have a shortage here at Bread Of Life, Life Of Conquering Kings fellowship.
Some of our teenage and young twenties girls do not have access to fluffy seal posters with "Please Be Patient, God Hasn't Finished With Me Yet" on them, or red plastic radio-cassette players.
If you have any of these items, please let us know. We have just the place for them.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
That reminds me of the 'women only' hall at Uni (Don't worry, I was INVITED in, honest). Both those items were common, as were girls in dressing gowns of such prudery that their grandmothers probably wouldn't have worn them.
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ALMIGHTY God, the fountain of all wisdom, who knowest our necessities before we ask, and our ignorance in asking.
Posts: 477 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2003
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The Undiscovered Country
Shipmate
# 4811
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Posted
I've got to say to most of those who have posted on this thread, just what is your problem? What are you saying-that there's something wrong with churches being successful, with people having a passionate relationship with God? Are you saying that empty church buiildings and half-hearted people feeling distant from God is what Christianity should really be like?
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to himself. Therefore all hope of progress rests with the unreasonable man.
Posts: 1216 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2003
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strathclydezero
# 180
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Posted
Jeff Featherstone,
Welcome to the Ship of Fools, and welcome to Hell. You'll find upon this fine ship many people with many different perspectives on religion. I can guarantee there will be some you have never considered before. You might wish to reconsider asking what peoples 'problems' are before you have considered the perspecitve portrayed here. Where on this thread has it been suggested that empty church buildings and people distant from God have been promoted as desirable characteristics?
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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov
Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jeff Featherstone:
I've got to say to most of those who have posted on this thread, just what is your problem? What are you saying-that there's something wrong with churches being successful, with people having a passionate relationship with God? Are you saying that empty church buiildings and half-hearted people feeling distant from God is what Christianity should really be like?
Oh, for heaven's sake. Welcome to the Ship. Now go drink some Gin and shut up.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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The Undiscovered Country
Shipmate
# 4811
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Posted
'You might wish to reconsider asking what peoples 'problems' are before you have considered the perspecitve portrayed here. Where on this thread has it been suggested that empty church buildings and people distant from God have been promoted as desirable characteristics?'
Fair question. I did look through a number of threads before I started contributing and my comments on this thread reflect the overall impression I've picked up. The feeling behind many of the contributions seems to similar to that on the BBC Christian board-a cynical attitude towards contempory evangelical Christianity but without giving any clear alternative model that actually produces changed lives. There's a fine line between satire and cynicism-satire often highlights weak areas of an issue in order to improve it, cyncism just wants to demolish without giving an alternative. Many of the contributions on this thread and others unfortunatly seem to fall into the latter.
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to himself. Therefore all hope of progress rests with the unreasonable man.
Posts: 1216 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2003
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
Flausa steps around the odd new fellow who seems to be interrupting the reverent, sincere prayer of longstanding and devout shipmates...
Dear fellow shipmates, I come to you know pleading for prayer. For you see, I will soon be leaving the safe haven of the Bible Belt for the frightening liberal world of Colorado. I fear that my faith and beliefs might be challenged and tested by the ecumenical folk out there. I will think of you often and fondly as you sit comfortably in your folding chairs, eyes glue on powerpoint presentations.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Jeff, as a Sola Scriptura bible-thumping Calvinistic Evangelical who loves Charles Spurgeon, Jonathan Edwards, Daniel Brainard...etc...I reserve the right to poke fun and also try to needle the shipmate who did the Opening Post for this very thread.
The majority of shipmates do indeed seem to have Liberal leanings but those of us with Conservative leanings in the minority have more fun people to work with.
If you believe you have a corner on the truth, be prepared to discuss theology in depth...know some Greek...know your heuristics. You might learn stuff here like I have from Lefties.
PS: Pls Note I still want everyone to seriously move more RIGHT but I understand that if If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Thx.
[edited my post to be a more compassionate conservative to another]
[ 07. August 2003, 19:26: Message edited by: duchess ]
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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strathclydezero
# 180
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Posted
You'll find many changed lives here Jeff. Mostly liberated Christians. Liberated and exploring new ways of doing things, new ways of exploring God.
Debate is neutral. There is the opportunity to make points for and points against any given proposal. If you don't like what's presented on this thread, or if you think it's derogatory then you are at liberty to post something constructive. As it is you are conforming to the stereotype you are denouncing.
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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov
Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Jeff, I'm sorry for my part in this thread if it offended you.
My problem with businesses calling themselves Christian is that they seem to be using Jesus as an endorser the way Buick uses Tiger Woods. The Carpet Cleaner thing really happened to me (I was the angry housewife) and I was not only offended by the use of Christ's name to sell a product but also by the inference that the people working for the competition were not Christians. Not to mention attaching Jesus's name to lazy, shoddy business practices.
quote:
a cynical attitude towards contempory evangelical Christianity but without giving any clear alternative model that actually produces changed lives.
The alternative for me is a small old fashioned church with traditional music and long thoughtful sermons. It has actually changed my life. Still, it does not mean that the large, overhead projector using, new music singing, knitting group churches don't also change lives and serve the needs of people with different tastes. I'm sorry if the thread sounded like that way or if a hint of snobbery crept in. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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The Undiscovered Country
Shipmate
# 4811
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Posted
Thanks. I really appreciate your comments. I agree with much of what you say. The idea of a Christ Carpet Cleaner horrifies me too as does most of junky 'Christian' merchandise.
I certainly wasn't offended by your earlier contribution or anyone else's comments. My concern was more in terms of puzzlement-why so many contributors seemed to be cynical about groups of Christians who are simply trying to be biblical and to be passionate about God and his ways. I'm as aware as anyone else about the occeasional bizarre things that some christmatic Christians do or say but I also know enough people in different new churches around the country to know that most are very ordianry people who are nothing like some of the characatures that some seem to have in their mind.
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to himself. Therefore all hope of progress rests with the unreasonable man.
Posts: 1216 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2003
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The Undiscovered Country
Shipmate
# 4811
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Posted
Sorry, freudian slip there. I meant charismatic Christians, not christmatic!
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to himself. Therefore all hope of progress rests with the unreasonable man.
Posts: 1216 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2003
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
christmatic could be a new Christian washing machine...maybe you are being called to make one...you never know Jeff.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
First up Jeff, welcome to both the Ship in general, and to Hell in particular. A good way to start is to etch the Ship's 10 Commandments on an easy-to-read body part.
A second good thing to do is to read both the intro to each board, and also its guidelines, as these will give you some indication of what you can expect from threads housed on each board.
For instance, the intro to Hell says "You've landed in Hell – the refuge of the irascible, the contentious and the just plain pissed off .... our circles can always accommodate one more malcontent."
To most people, that would give a pointer that you wouldn't find a reasonably balanced, nicely argued thread about whether X is the best way to do Christianity, and if not, what an alternative is.
That kind of thread is found in Purgatory.
Now, do you need me to explain more stuff to you in simple terms that even an idiot (or scz) could understand? Or will you wander round and try to figure some stuff for yourself before posting like you just have?
Sarkycow, hellhost
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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strathclydezero
# 180
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Posted
Because some people think that there is a hell of a lot more to being a Christian than "trying to be biblical" and being "passionate about God and his ways". I said it before and you didn't give a fuck Jeff, I'll try once more.
People.here.have.many.different.perspectives.on.religion. There.will.be.some.you.have.never.considered.before.
Do you want to contribute, or do you want to continue being a jerk?
[sarkycow: crosspost ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) ]
[ 07. August 2003, 21:58: Message edited by: strathclydezero ]
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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov
Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001
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Edward Green
Review Editor
# 46
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Posted
Lord, if you exist, I want to thank you for making fluffy clouds and large white billowing bunnies ...
no .. I mean ... fluffly bunnies and large white billowing clouds.
Friend of Sailors, oh Dolphin Christ splash up to Jeff and speak words of encouragent into his salt soaked heart ...
I believe the message from Christ is here!
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blog//twitter//
linkedin
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TheMightyTonewheel
Shipmate
# 4730
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by strathclydezero:
People.here.have.many.different.perspectives.on.religion. There.will.be.some.you.have.never.considered.before. Do you want to contribute, or do you want to continue being a jerk?
[enlightened]
Yeah! What he said! Get a new perspective, one that YOU'VE never thought of (but IIIIIcertainly have) and get it now, or go home!
[/enlightened]
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"I detected one misprint, but to torture you I will not tell you where." -- Winston Churchill to T.E. Lawrence, re Seven Pillars of Wisdom
Posts: 57 | From: Vancouver | Registered: Jul 2003
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Hey Jeff. I'm going to be nice because I'd have said exactly the same things ten years ago.
Now - I'd like to pick up on your point of "changed lives".
Would it surprise you to know that the life I had to have changed had been a result of evangelical Christianity? And the people through whom God changed it were the dangerously liberal Iona Community?
I'd also like to pick up on the point about "feeling distant from God". I would suggest that asking why charismatic evangelical churches are full of people who feel God is close and real is like asking why the Lake District in summer is full of fell walkers.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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GeordieDownSouth
Shipmate
# 4100
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Posted
Don't worry Jeff, every now and again someone has a go at liberals/high church.
Actually I can't remember one..... anyone else?
Anyhow, I've left my sarnies in my WWJD lunchbox back home, I need to attach my fish sticker to my car and prayer walk my office.
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No longer down south.
Posts: 689 | From: Birmingham | Registered: Feb 2003
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Glimmer
Ship's Lantern
# 4540
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Posted
Now Lord we wanna just thank you for the fine new shipmate, Jeff, who has come aboard, Lord, just burstin' an' hollerin' for you Lord. Just make his passage smooth, Lord, 'cos if it ain't smooth, Lord, it might hurt the dear boy when he has close encounters with the salty dogs what prowl about the decks, Lord.
Just give him the power through the Spirit to get his spelling right, Lord, and I just know, Lord, he'll be a-postin' and a-glorifyin' just like the best of them.
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The original, unchanged 4540.
The Temple area, Ankh Morpork
Posts: 1749 | From: Ankh Morpork, Dorset | Registered: May 2003
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Alaric the Goth
Shipmate
# 511
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Posted
Posted by Karl: quote:
Hey Jeff. I'm going to be nice because I'd have said exactly the same things ten years ago.
Not TEN years ago you wouldn't! You were well on the way to Lib.B. status before then! Fifteen maybe!
Hello Jeff. I am another evangelical on these Boards. I think this thread is quite funny, however.
Karl, I know and you know that your 'Bread of Life' joke was REALLY and TRULY based loosely on a name that my last church toyed with, that would have given it the initials 'BOLACC'. Good job they noticed and decided on 'Word' rather than 'Bread' - WOLACC is SO much better! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
You know, I'd quite forgotten where the "Church Name Initials Spelling Something Rude" joke had come from, but now you mention it it comes flooding back.
You're right about the timing - I'm getting old; 10 years isn't as long ago as I thought it was.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Merseymike
Shipmate
# 3022
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Posted
Well, its been TWENTY years for me, Karl, so I'm more backslidden than you . So there!
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Christianity is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be experienced
Posts: 3360 | From: Walked the plank | Registered: Jul 2002
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strathclydezero
# 180
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Posted
You're not liberal Mike, just left wing.
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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov
Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001
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The Undiscovered Country
Shipmate
# 4811
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Posted
I'm well aware of what the Hell area is about and that its not the place for logical debate, rather for some very sharp views. Its very noticable though that my pro-mainstream christianity views seem to have upset more people than a thousand more liberal contributions have!
I think most people contributing need to widen their horizons themselves because they seem to have a view of mainsteam Christianity that involves every cliche going. Have a look at what's really out there!
Yes I do know other people have had changed lives through other routes but where is the large scale changing of lives? Where are the communities of people who together are showing what God is like? Liberal christianity seems to fail miserabaly in this!
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to himself. Therefore all hope of progress rests with the unreasonable man.
Posts: 1216 | From: Belfast | Registered: Aug 2003
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Really? Pro-mainstream?
Jeff, matey, evangelical is not mainstream. It's evangelical. It's part of the arrogance of much evangelicalism that it thinks it is Christianity, but it ain't so.
I really don't think the evangelical communities are particularly "showing what God is like". Part of what He's like, but then the liberal communities are showing some other parts.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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