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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod (Page 1)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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Oops! Wrong King

So Mary and several random appendages are on the outskirts of Bethlehem. We think. Joseph shouldn't be far behind, having chosen the more luxorious way to travel. But what of our Wise Men? Where have they got to?

--------------------
ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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Now it's time for our scene seven
Wise Men looking up to heaven

When we saw the Magi last
They were having quite a blast

They told the camels, "Take a hike"
It's much more fun to go by bike."

But of the star there is no sight
Because the street-lamps are so bright

The bus is lost and so are they
They don't know how to find the way.

But these Magi are most wise
They don't need signs from the skies.

To the palace they will go
Where the King lives, this they know.

How will Herod take this fact?
(Chances are, he'll over-act).

To Herod these are tidings dread.
He thought the King (that's Elvis) dead.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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Sheep 3, whose coat has been plaited, tied with cerulean ribbons and had little jingle-bells attached (thanks to bee_of_good_cheer) wanders across the stage]

*jingle, jingle*

Baaaaaaaaaa.

*jingle, jingle*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Now this is an intriguing scene
and how's it gonna go?
it'll really help the action
if those so-called wise men show...

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Well, what do you know?
The sky's obscured hiding star light
Do we know which way to go?
To see the king, left or right?

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Surprise surprise where can they be?
perhaps they're all at church?
but it's very unlike Alan
to so leave us in the lurch...

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stable Cat

Nativity Play
# 3657

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*stable cat wanders in, sits down in center stage and yawns*

yaaaarrrrrr......

--------------------
nicolemrw says "meow!"

Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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In the lurch you are not left,
but of directions we are bereft.
If only we could see a star,
we'd know where to drive the car.

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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Within the tour bus, confusion reigns. It is unclear exactly how many wise men are on board. Shepherds, mute Lap Dancers, and various farm animals are puzzling over maps of Judea and gesticulating wildly at each other. If only someone could give them directions...

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 noses around the set, looking for something to eat]

*jingle*

*snuff*

*jingle*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[Fade-in: Helicoptor-camera-view careens across a desert landscape and then, catching a point of interest on the horizon, zooms in on what turns out to be a schoolbus yellow Hot Rod adorned with Joe Camel graphics roaring along a desert highway with dust plume splayed behind. The strains of ZZTop swells up and camera zooms in on the white bearded driver wearing blue-starry dunce cap and fashionably dark sunglasses. He is seen to be occasionally checking his rear-view mirror and mutters under his breath as he shakes his head.]

Blast. It's like herding cats. Impossible. I wonder where in Zorastor's name they might be?

[Hot rod careens onward, blithely swooshing past assorted cows, sheep, cats and other odd (for the desert) denizens.]

[Pulls out his combo-PDA/Cell phone and checks for messages]

Harumph. Can't even stay in touch. I've sent 4 e-mails asking where in the blue blazes they've got off too. I hope they remembered to turn left north of Damascus.

[New tune swells up: Damascus Highway]

Oi. Not a bad trip if they'd keep the sheep and Skoda's off the road ....

[Fade-out: Hot rod drives on]

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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And lo a figure wanders on
it's Wise Man 2, okay!
He's come to make the play more fun
while looking for the way.

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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In despair, Tour Manager punches the Emergency Number of the cell-phone which has been surreptitously tied to Sheep3's jingle bells on the reasoning that despite all constraints of time, space, and other people trying to catch it, it always lands in the middle of the action...

budebup budebup budebup

ring ring... ring ring...

I wonder if there will be a reply?

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Well this is a turn up for the book!
Most everyone is here!
And oh what little time it took!
They all deserve a beer!

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 stands, looking puzzled to suddenly find herself on the Tour Bus]

Baaaaa.

*jingle*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep

Nativity Play
# 3667

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Rudolph wanders through the meadow. Stops by the side of the road. Nose begins glowing.

Gee, it would be a shame to waste this thing. Surely there are some lost wise men on this road, looking for some kind of light to get somewhere.


--------------------
I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!

Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Why all this fuss,
The directions are quite simple.
Turn right at Damascus
And stop at Salem's Temple.

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[Fade-in establishing shot: Yello Hot rod adorned with Joe Camel graphics parked in the driveway (or is that: driven in the parkway? never mind.) at the Yerushalayem Hyatt. A valet is getting in to park it.]

[Dumbledore looking fellow with eagle feather accessorized dunce cap is standing at Reception, apparently checking in. He glances up to the desk person as he scratches items on the scroll before him.]

Oh... and by the way, do I have any messages?

DP: One moment sir, I'll check. [rifles through various sheepskin and papyrus faxes and sumerian clay telexes]

I'm sorry sir. There don't appear to be any messages for you.

CWM: Blast! Thanks. Well, in the event of a message, would you get it to me quickly, please. It's urgent.

DP: Oh yes sir. [DP reaches across for tastefully sized mallet and strikes a melodious gong]

Bellhop!

[A small army of bellhops collect up the various satchels, bags, luggage and such and follow CWM to the elevators.

Final shot of CWM followed by entorage of bellhops entering the President's Suite.

Fade to black.]

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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Urgh!

What's this? I thought ringing this number would ring the phone on Sheep3's coat where the action is, not teleport her aboard!!

What kind of gizmo is this anyway? Must be one of those wise men's gadgets... the one with the pointy ears, perhaps...

Maybe if I punch in another number, I can send her back...

(pauses to scrawl a note: "To Whom It may Concern. Please supply directions from us to you, via Ewe". Attaches same to sheep. Dials 1471 on communication device - sheep3 vanishes from Tour Bus in a satisfying blaze of light)

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Yay, as Wise Man 2 just said,
No need for all this tizz.
You only need an A-Z
Of wherever Herod is.

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Have no fear,
we deserve a beer.
Until we see the guiding star,
We'll wait awhile in the bar.

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[Fade-in establishing shot: CWM sitting at desk in Presidential Suite typing away at his Moabitech laptop model(-4)]

Esteemed Ancient Z-Colleagues:

Have arrived in Y; Have put in for an appointment with KH. Shouldn't take long. Don't know where you all are but will wait here and attempt to delay appointment until your arrival.

Hope you're having a safe trip and don't forget to stop and buy gifts.

Sincerely Yours,

CWM

P.S. The digs are bril. But the town is filling up for some reason. Don't dilly-dally more than necessary.

[Fade-out as CWM clicks the send button with his live, hand-held rodent.]

--------------------
incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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[Sheep 3 is dismayed to find herself back on the road to wherever that Donkey's hay bale was last seen]

Baaa. aa.

[She stands for a while, chewing her cud, and staring at nothing. After a while, she once again begins re-tracing her route back to the Skoda]

*jingle, jingle*

*trudge*

*jingle, jingle*

*trudge*

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

*trudge*

*jingle......................

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Oh Wise Man 2 don't go just yet,
don't tarry in that bar.
You 3 wise men have still not met,
at least don't stray too far.

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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(searches amidst all the high-tech equipment on the Bus and eventually discovers a moth-eaten (or is it sheep-eaten) A-Z of Bible Lands (With Full Colour Plates). Starts frantically turning pages just in case Sheep3 has been sent to Ursa Minor, or Outer Skoda)

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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I can see you'd like a place to meet,
A pub would suit the menu.
But if you can't find where the Palace is
How ya gonna find the the venue?

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Understudy

Nativity Play
# 3717

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I'm reeeaaaaddyyyy! Which costume do you want me to put on first? You're missing several wise men and a Herod - all last seen In The Pub. (No dedication some people [Big Grin] )

The Understudy.

--------------------
If we took a holiday
Took some time to celebrate
Just one day out of life
It would be, it would be so nice


Mrs Tubbs - Chief Understudy and Go-fer

Posts: 14 | From: By the Small Fire | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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Hmm, lets see…
Alexandria…. no, my library books are overdue
Babylon by Bus?… no, too full of weapons inspectors…
Croydon??? must be a misprint
Damascus! Ah, we turn right there, I think…

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Meanwhile, in Herod's Palace>

God... I'm sooooooo bored with pulling the legs off all my prisoners. My concubines just aren't thrilling me anymore, and my slaves have all been reduced to quivering wrecks and just aren't fun anymore.

I need some entertainment.

Ah, Henchman... fetch me that cat that so foolishly annoyed me earlier. And a blunt razor. Best bring some shaving foam too.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Understudy:
I'm reeeaaaaddyyyy! Which costume do you want me to put on first? You're missing several wise men and a Herod - all last seen In The Pub. (No dedication some people [Big Grin] )

The Understudy.

You get first choice. Suit up and I'll give you some appropriate props.

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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quote:
Originally posted by Understudy:
You're missing... a Herod

Are you plotting a revolution?

Surely even you can't be that stupid.

Just because I'm silent, doesn't mean I'm not listening, wench.

--------------------
#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 is dismayed to find herself back on the road to wherever that Donkey's hay bale was last seen]

Baaa. aa.

[She stands for a while, chewing her cud, and staring at nothing. After a while, she once again begins re-tracing her route back to the Skoda]

*jingle, jingle*

*trudge*

*jingle, jingle*

*trudge*

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

*trudge*

*jingle......................



--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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Understudy, I see Herod's made an appearance. How about a Wise Person? A little extra intelligence couldn't hurt! [Razz]

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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With AtoZ but still no star
We must drink up and be away
this trip cannot be much farther
we'll soon be there, OK?

--------------------
When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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Egypt. No, that's done by flight it seems…
Frankincense? Oh, that's a bit of gift wrap that's got pulled off somehow. Dratted sheep…
Hmm. Goshen, Harrod's Palace, ooh, fancy that… and It's… In… Jerusalem!!!

Here we go!!!

Sound of squealing tyres and occupants

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
Understudy, I see Herod's made an appearance. How about a Wise Person? A little extra intelligence couldn't hurt! [Razz]

<Sotto voce>

But a little less intelligence would be almost impossible.

--------------------
Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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oh understudy, as we see
that Herod's lurking in the wings, O Bless.
But you can take your part, with glee,
We seem to be all starless... (again)

--------------------
come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
But a little less intelligence would be almost impossible.

Probably the wisest line yet to be spoken... [Not worthy!]

--------------------
The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sheep 3

Nativity Play
# 3663

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quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 is dismayed to find herself back on the road to wherever that Donkey's hay bale was last seen]

Baaa. aa.

[She stands for a while, chewing her cud, and staring at nothing. After a while, she once again begins re-tracing her route back to the Skoda]

*jingle, jingle*

*trudge*

*jingle, jingle*

*trudge*

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

*trudge*

*jingle......................


[Sheep 3 suddenly feels a blast of icy-cold air.]

Baaa?

*jingle, trudge, jingle, trudge*

--------------------
jlg the sheep

Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Understudy

Nativity Play
# 3717

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Should've checked the noticeboard first as what they really need is a Joseph

My time has come [Snigger] Potters off to costume department and finds a pair of jim-jams, some flip flops, a large blanket, a towel and some bits of string ... And a lovely false beard [Big Grin]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you The Understudy As Joseph [Not worthy!]

Unfortunately, the Understudy is so awe struck at actually being on a REAL stage At Long Last her sole contribution is to walk behind the Tour Manager and Mary and she doesn't utter a single word during the entire scene [Embarrassed] But she does look extremely fetching and at least she doesn't knock over any scenery, trip over any sheep or give into the urge to drop kick the Stable Cat through the lighting rig [Big Grin]

The Understudy is extremely grateful to the Musical Director for this opportunity [Love]

--------------------
If we took a holiday
Took some time to celebrate
Just one day out of life
It would be, it would be so nice


Mrs Tubbs - Chief Understudy and Go-fer

Posts: 14 | From: By the Small Fire | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Wanders on to stage with mobile phone in one hand. Addresses audience.

Had some old buzzard phone me a few days ago, wanting an appointment with Herod, for him and a few mates. Said something about wanting to adore the King, and give him choice and costly presents. That'll put Herod in a good mood for a bit. Except now they look like they're going to be late, and Herod intensely dislikes unpunctuality.

Dials number on mobile and then begins talking into it.

Hello, is that the Chief Wise Man? It's the Evil Henchman here. You're going to be late. Herod distinctly dislikes unpunctuality. The last people to be late for an appointment took several months to die. You probably wouldn't like it. Where are you? You're lost??! Tell me where you are, and I'll text you directions.

Hangs up, and addresses audience thoughtfully once more.

Mind you they were very entertaining over those months. And they did make a good bonfire at the end of it all...

[And your spelling was entertaining to me as well...]

[ 15. December 2002, 21:48: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

--------------------
I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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(The Tour Bus pulls up outside Harrod's Palace Shopping Emporium. Tour manager peers at the sign and back at the A-Z. Seeing the occupants of the Bus are somewhat restive, and glancing at the tachometer, he decides that discretion is the better part of valour)

OK everbody, here we are. All off now. Visit the palace while the sales are on, shop early for Christmas!

(As soon as the bus is empty he drives it to a secluded parking spot and collapses on his bunk deep within the darker recesses)

[Snore]

--------------------
Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Slave boy runs up to her and relays Herod's order for the cat. She liberally doses some cat treats with sleeping potion, then puts them on the floor, and orders the slave boy to bring said razor and shaving foam. After a short while the cat warily enters the room (Evil Henchman is sat patiently and quietly in the corner), and eats the treats. Suddenly the cat collapses on the floor. Evil Henchman picks it up, takes the razor and shaving foam from the slave boy (who has just returned) and takes them in to Herod.

[Italics mended]

[ 15. December 2002, 21:49: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chief stage manager

Nativity Play
# 3658

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quote:
Originally posted by Understudy:

Unfortunately, the Understudy is so awe struck at actually being on a REAL stage At Long Last her sole contribution is to walk behind the Tour Manager and Mary and she doesn't utter a single word during the entire scene [Embarrassed] But she does look extremely fetching and at least she doesn't knock over any scenery, trip over any sheep or give into the urge to drop kick the Stable Cat through the lighting rig [Big Grin]

Not sure we need a spare Joseph tonight. Since you're so stagestruck, could you possibly just do the Star thing? Like shine and point the way to wherever the majority of wise people and animals wish to travel?

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The original bessie rosebride.

Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Evil Henchman

Nativity Play
# 3705

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Sorry boss, cat's a bit dopey. Do you want to shave it while it's asleep or wait til it wakes up?

I have a harness if you want it live and scratching?

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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.

Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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Why, thankyou, Henchman.

Remind me to pay you this month.

Now, here's the razor and the foam.

I want to see p-zaz, finesse and my name shaved into it's face.

Get on with it.

[ 15. December 2002, 21:50: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Ah, now things are making sense
A store to buy our frankenscence
If king of Harrods will concur,
We might even buy some Myrrh

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Oh wise men take care in this bit
you don't know how this story ends
but Herod is a massive Unpleasant Person
not into Influencing People and Making Friends

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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
Since you're so stagestruck, could you possibly just do the Star thing? Like shine and point the way to wherever the majority of wise people and animals wish to travel?

<Sotto voce>

A star to guide the way? This bunch couldn't find the way to Herod if they had Sherpa Tensing to lead them.

[ 15. December 2002, 21:51: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dragon

Nativity Play
# 3669

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Yay, understudy!

This is the stuff of sweetest dreams
That waiting in the wings can't mar.
For life's not always what it seems
You could go on & be a star

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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..

Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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