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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Whispers to Wise Guy .... Yeah I don't quite trust him myself. Let's get out of here while the goings good .....
Oh great king Herod, you are indeed wise to remain here at the seat of government during this potentially troublesome time. Your loyal and devoted subjects don't deserve the great kindness you do to them by blessing them with your presence.
We will do as you suggest, and find this infant to worship him. And then we shall send you word so that you to may worship him without wasting too much of your valuable time in the search. We will be off now, and start our search in Bethlehem.
exits sedately, but quickly, backwards out the door
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 1
Nativity Play
# 3661
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Posted
Me too!
NOW
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Jenny Ann smiles sweetly
Posts: 100 | From: Heaven/bethlehem/the angelic dressing room/on stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Rocher and Sakatini. I'm beginning to warm up to this guy...
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Now now, angel number one.
Patience is a virtue.
Will gin do?
I hear that's what they drink up there.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Uh, Boss. I'm not sure they'll tell us where the baby is. That Wise Man 2 looked a bit suspiciously at us.
What if they double cross us?
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Oh, have all the wise men gone?
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Wait, what are the angels doing boozing it up?
You're supposed to protect us while we are riding under the influence.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Moves away from Herod and attempts to smile nicely. Fails. Shrugs and pours drinks for those who are staying.
So, Angels, what brings you here?
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
My good friend, the Wise Guy here wouldn't do that to me.
After all, it'd only hurt the baby not receive a king's blessing, wouldn't it?
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Deputy Chief Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3698
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chief Comic Shepherd:
Being a little tired and emotional, Chief Comic Shepherd passes out. Deputy Chief Shepherd is left holding him up, and minding three inebriated sheep.
[To sheep:] Right, ladies. Time to get back to the pasture. And if you're very good I might let you use the new sheep dip in the morning.
[Exits pub, leaving the snoring Chief Comic Shepherd propped up against the Dragon]
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Yes, I'm a madferret. And that's my own teatowel.
Posts: 115 | From: seated on the ground | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Oh, have all the wise men gone?
(As Paleolithic computer screws me up again)
Yeah, are we off then?
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
Rocher and Sakatini. I'm beginning to warm up to this guy...
<Stage whisper to Wise Men>
<Fill your pockets, boys and drink up.It's time to go.>
Oooh - chocolate! And here was I looking for rice crackers and peanuts. Mind you, tapas or maybe some canapes would go down well.
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Wise Guy, I think the Chief Wise Man has rooms at the Yerushalayem Hyatt - I reckon we should head there to fill him in. All that grovelling to Herod has worn me out, I can't even think up any good rhymes. I need to sleep, perchance to dream .....
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(raises glass in response to Herod's friendly glance)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(following 3's example and stealing loads of chocolate and a bottle of saki)
I'm right behing ya, Twoie!
Jeez, I hope the load of us don't shove everyone else out of the Hyatt.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Moves away from Herod and attempts to smile nicely. Fails. Shrugs and pours drinks for those who are staying.
So, Angels, what brings you here?
Well, I'm rather fond of cocktails and nibbles. Angel 1 likes a tipple too. A little light conversation, agreeable company, dinner and dancing afterwards - makes for such a pleasant evening don't you agree?
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Leans against wall with foot stuck out, waiting for a Passer-By.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Right, they've gone.
Everybody out.
Go! Now!
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Never mind, I got my foreshadowing all mixed up...
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
So, boss, what's the plan?
WHy do you want to go and worship this little baby? He'll take your throne and power and stop us having fun and torturing people and being generally cruel and vicious.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Oh, god...
Are you really that dim?
Once we know where it is, we can kill it.
It's really very simple.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Kill it? I can do killing. That's easy.
But um, what if they don't tell us where it is? That Wise Man 2 looked shifty at the end.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
Right, they've gone.
Everybody out.
Go! Now!
Charming evening, Herod - we must do it again sometime. Now if I could interest you in my book...so good for sales to have an endorsement from the subject. No? Some other time. Must dash! Angel 3 saunters off. Over her shoulder she says meaningfully)
I know how it all ends, you know!
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
Now if I could interest you in my book...
I feed salesmen to Tiddles, my pet Tiger.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
They will tell us. Have faith.
Now, I think I'll go inspect my plebs a la treacle.
<Wanders off singing>
#Come, I heard them say, bar rup a pom pom,
A new born king to slay, bar rup a pom pom...#
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
Now if I could interest you in my book...
I feed salesmen to Tiddles, my pet Tiger.
(Disembodied laughter can be heard from offstage.)
I have only two words for you, Herod. "Worms" and "todger".
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Angel 3:
I have only two words for you, Herod...
Funny, that.
I have two words for you too.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Passer-by 3
Nativity Play
# 3711
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Posted
[Enters stage left still carrying a tray with pot of tea and assorted cakes and pastries. Exits stage left safely, continuing to carry aforementioned tray.]
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(W)
Posts: 30 | From: The Wings | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Sharpens sword in corner, whistling merrily.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Passer-by 3
Nativity Play
# 3711
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Posted
[Realises should have exited right, and does so, muttering the word 'Arse' under breath]
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(W)
Posts: 30 | From: The Wings | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Sees cat shoot past the open door. Said cat has a few clumps of fur left on its body. Its right ear is missing, and the left one is chewed. It also has icicles hanging from its stomach, whilst its tail skin has burn marks. Evil Henchman muses to herself:
Hmmm, kids haven't done too badly there. Their methods are clumsy and not too refined. Still, they're young, they have time to learn.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3, still adorned with plaits, cerulean ribbons and tiny jingle bells, finds herself outdoors somewhere, no shepherd to be seen.]
Baaa-hic-aaaaa.
*jingle*
[She lies down center stage front and goes to sleep]
Baa.....HIC....baa.aa.a....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Wise Man
Nativity Play
# 3674
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Posted
[Fade-in to Presidential Suite at the Hyatt. WM2 and WG burst into the room where CWM is prone on the floor next to the mini-bar, many little empty bottles of booze strewn about.]
Huh? Err, what's going on?
[CWM attempts to raise himself from the floor. ]
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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.
Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(Chomping on a handfull of Cheetos and watching Changing Rooms marathon on BBCIsrael)
Hey, Chief!
Note: for the sake of continuity, I should probably be in the bus from now on. My excuse for being late was trashing my bike.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Wise Man
Nativity Play
# 3674
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Posted
Man; that was a bender ...
OH! You're here!
I need to call that Evil Henchman guy and figure out when we can get an appointment to see the king.
[and don't you mean RBCIsrael?]
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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.
Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002
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Stable Cat
Nativity Play
# 3657
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Posted
*stable cat looks down on hallucinating evil henchman from perfectly safe perch in rafters.*
mrrrrrttt?
*odd creatures, humans....*
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nicolemrw says "meow!"
Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Jedi Knight sits beside Stable Cat in the rafters keeping a wary eye on Evil Henchman.
JK's lightsaber is ready for whatever necessary battle.
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
(Angel 6, relieved from flaming-sword duty at the Entrance to the Garden of Eden -- and gratified by a first-class upgrade for the trip back, complete with Courvoisier -- returns just in time to substitute Ex-Lax for Herod's chocs. Most gratifying results ensue.)
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Oooh! Angel 6! I like how you think!
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
High five, JK!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Angel 6, still a little high on incense from this morning's Solemn Mass at St. Mary the Virgin, and glad to be home.
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
EXT. YERUSHALEM HILTON - NIGHT
A low-slung black limousine camel SCREECHES around the corner and pulls up to the front entrance portico in a cloud of dust.
A hefty TORPEDO in pin-striped robes, burnoose, and sunglasses jumps off, looks over the area intently.
PHIL THE WISE GUY jumps out of the saddle and runs up the front stairs, elbowing aside the DOOR EUNUCH.
PHIL: "Outta my way, fat boy!"
EUNUCH: "Oooh! Oooh! You're one to talk!"
INT. CHIEF WISE MAN'S SUITE - NIGHT
A furious POUNDING is heard on the door. CWM struggles to his feet, falls back, scrabbles about a bit trying for traction on the slick tiles, and settles for crawling to the door.
He throws it open to reveal...NORMA DESMOND!
NORMA: "I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr. De--"
CWM: "OI! YOU! Wrong door!"
With a shriek Norma yanks the door shut!
Suddenly, the French patio doors open and Phil the Wise Guy strides in.
PHIL: "OK you mugs, lissen up; I wuz meetin' wit' some of my...uh...family here in town, discussin' a, uh, "business venture," and word's out onna street dat Herod's gonna double-cross us. He's got his mini-onions casin' for us. We gotta take a powder on dis pop stand, toot sweet, and hook up wit da baby Jesus."
Phil opens his robe to show a glittering Thompson .45 caliber sword hanging from his sash.
PHIL: "An' if he wants ta play us a tune, I got da harmonica!"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Understudy
Nativity Play
# 3717
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
quote:
Originally posted by Understudy:
You're missing... a Herod
Are you plotting a revolution?
Surely even you can't be that stupid.
Just because I'm silent, doesn't mean I'm not listening, wench.
You could be wrong about that ... and I'm shallow too. But I do have a pretty face, a pleasiing voice and nice tits ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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If we took a holiday
Took some time to celebrate
Just one day out of life
It would be, it would be so nice
Mrs Tubbs - Chief Understudy and Go-fer
Posts: 14 | From: By the Small Fire | Registered: Dec 2002
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Assorted Strings
Nativity Play
# 3652
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Posted
Flippin' 'eck - it's gonna take me ages to catch up with all the action!
Anyhow, anyone for a song?
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kingsfold's alter ego....
fiddling, plucking and strumming
Posts: 53 | From: the orchestra pit | Registered: Dec 2002
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angel 5
Nativity Play
# 3696
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Posted
Can we sing this one, right in front of Herod?
ickle donkey ickle donkey
on the dusty road
go to keep on plodding on wards
wiv your heavy load....
![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
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and all the angels sang for him, the bells of heaven rang for him
for a boy was born, king of all the world
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sophs
Posts: 38 | From: in a cattle shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Camel driver
Nativity Play
# 3655
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by angel 5:
Can we sing this one, right in front of Herod?
ickle donkey ickle donkey
on the dusty road
go to keep on plodding on wards
wiv your heavy load....
Never mind the blinkin' donkey: what have you done with my camels? I left strict instructions for their care, and here you are in the blinkin' Hyatt Hilton - why aren't they in the suites with you? Did you leave them with that spotty parking attendant, who'll be racing them round the car park with his mates?
Honestly, you go off-line for a couple of days and... [mutters as he exits]
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Rhisiart: camel driving for the new millennium
Posts: 11 | From: Ali's Used Camels, 2nd tent, Baghdad High St | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by angel 5:
Can we sing this one, right in front of Herod?
ickle donkey ickle donkey
on the dusty road
go to keep on plodding on wards
wiv your heavy load....
Certainly.
If you wish my Henchman to give you an enema with a spoon, that is.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Spare Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3690
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Posted
Meanwhile, on a hillside near Bethlehem, some shepherds are gazing at the stars. One of them is obviously an Australian.....
"Crikey, youse bloody sheep- bloody hell, watch those teeth!"
She creeps up behind one, pounces on it, and wrestles it to the ground. Holding it firmly, she turns her head and beams in the direction of any stray camera that may be around.
"Crikey, stone the bloody crows, this animal is a mighty tough one, and dangerous- kids, don't you go roughing up any sheep you find out in the Australian outback. Leave it to me, roight?"
The other shepherds groan in unison. Years of working with the Spare Shepherd have taught them the folly of politely trying to get the Steve Irwin -wannabe to shut up. Does she not realise that sheep are a far cry from crocodiles, and ancient Israel a miliion light years away from Discovery and the National Geographic Channels and the Bush in far-off Oz? No. She doesn't. So they beat her up, in a firm but kindly fashion, with their shepherds' crooks.
"Kids, don't try that at home. Crook injuries may hurt."
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The last time I checked I was Rowen- really!
Posts: 68 | From: A sheeply village near Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Assorted Strings
Nativity Play
# 3652
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Posted
quote:
posted by Herod:
If you wish my Henchman to give you an enema with a spoon, that is.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Is that physically possible?
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kingsfold's alter ego....
fiddling, plucking and strumming
Posts: 53 | From: the orchestra pit | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Want to find out?
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
OK. Let’s see if you can follow the storyline this time
Mary got text-ed by a heavenly host,
Who said she’d conceive by God’s Holy Ghost
Though she was hesitant Joseph to tell
With the aid of an angel it took it quite well.
To Bethl’em Mary on a donkey’s back rode
Jo took a limo – he’s such a toad.
Wise men were told, “Just let the star lead”.
(A GPS system’s more what they need).
Herod they questioned, “Where is the King?
A star has foretold of this wondrous thing.”
But Herod’s a wicked, malevolent man.
With the aid of a henchman he’s thought up a plan.
He told the wise men to seek the King out
And when they have found him, to give him a shout.
Herod’s determined the baby to kill
I fear that the story will turn out most ill.
The tension’s so hard I hardly can wait
To see what develops, next, in scene eight.
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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