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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 7: The Wise Men go to Herod
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The Star in the East
Nativity Play
# 3751
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Posted
*glows brighter in a valiant yet futile attempt to give proper directions to the wise men, who, being typical males, think that taking directions from anyone or anything else is a sign of wussydom*
oh, well
*amuses herself by aiming more solar flares at the critic's head*
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Erin, standing in for Lyra
Posts: 5 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 1
Nativity Play
# 3671
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Posted
Smells spilt beer and decides that's much more appetising than hot treacle. Turns round and follows Chief Comic Shepherd towards "The Crown", little realising her near miss with Herod's mint sauce
Slurp
Baaaa
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Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)
Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(Spike Lee impression)
Baby baby please, baby please...
(Rushes after Rudolph, who I hope is entering Herod's court.)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Starts filing nails to sharp points.
Herod's not gonna be happy...
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Hey wise man, this way
we can't be at this all the day
Herods already been waiting a long time
while everyone does speak in rhyme
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Wise Guy the way you need to find
Is towards “Harrod”’s throne room
Wise Man 2 can show you if he’s feeling kind
But is he going to his own doom?
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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(to self)
Slow down, cowboy. Wanna get your heart broke twice?
(To Wise Man 2)
Well, I guess we gotta talk to the boss? Any idea what kind of mood he's in? hopefully not the usual.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Spots Chief Comic Shepard and Sheep 1 heading into the Crown. Smells scent of ale in the air. Well, I could use a good pint right now, thinks to self, especially with the look Wise Guy's giving me.
Runs toward the Crown.
Baaaaa! Baaaaa! Baaaaa!
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
So the Chief Wise man out on the bike
Come and join the others straight
Cos to get onto the next bit is what we’d all like
And Herod will get angry if you’re late
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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
To judge the mood of the king
Now that's a perilous thing
But if we are careful,
There seems no reason to be fearful
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Reluctantly leaves nice warm hostelry for a second time, this time with beer sensibly stashed in bottles slung about his person.
Right, off to find that dang sheep. Will they never blessed learn?
Sets off uphill, heading, somewhat unsteadily in a direction which averages out to be towards Herod's palace.
[ 15. December 2002, 22:41: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Wise Guy may have to leave soon, so will ignore sheep and sundry in favor of higher goals
(storms toward Herod's chamber)
HEY! WE GOT NEWS FOR YOU!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Begins heating some oil in preparation for the 'guests' arrival.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 1
Nativity Play
# 3671
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Posted
Downing a pint in one and grabbing a quick slurp from Chief Comic Shepherd's pint whilst he's otherwise engaged chatting up the barmaid, Sheep 1 snuggles up to CCS and dozes off contentedly.
Baaaa ..... zzzzzzzzz ..... hic ..... zzzzz
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Jack the Lass the Sheep (but you can call me Shaun)
Posts: 45 | From: a flippin' cold hillside outside Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Falls over sheep, who are heading back to the Crown
*&^%$£!
'Ere I am, doin' my dooty, and I finds my sheep 'eading towards a pub!
Oo said they was stoopid, eh?
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Well finally the various wise men are meeting
But at least they have been on stage (and rhyming)
So as they now exchange their first keen greeting
We only can complain of their slow timing
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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Effortlessly intercepts Wise Guy.
Hold up, who the heck are you? Herod doesn't see just anybody, you know.
Name, business, total gift value?
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
So, are we in the palace, or do I have to talk to some middleman first?
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
I reckons this beats sheepfolds in cold 'ills 'ands down!
From now on, I keeps these sheep 'ere in the pub!
(Wonders vaguely if this will complicate the scene where the shapherds see the angels....)
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Is it my imagination, or did some idiot just burst into my throne room without knocking?
It must be my imagination.
When I turn my chair round, there will surely be no-one there, and maybe I will hear a knock at my door in a few moments.
No-one has such low self-esteem to feel they deserve to die in the way I've just thought up, anyway.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
I'm relly, really hating my computer so much now....
Uh, hey, we're the Magi? You know, we advise and prophesy and things? We got a message. For the King.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
With no time to waste
We both to Herod make our way
For we must now in haste
Say what we have to say
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
*decides 'Message In A Bottle' by the Police would be good. Or a drink in a bottle maybe...*
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Oh great king,
wonderous news we bring
For in the east we saw a star
That caused us to travel far
It was the source of great joy
For it announced the birth of a boy
This is thus the news we bring
there is a new born King
Where do we find this babe?
that all due homage may be made
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Lifts Wise Guy out of the throne room, and sets him on the cold marble floor of the waiting room.
Right you. Listen. Now. Do you want to die slowly and painfully, or will you do what you're bloody told? Herod is important; you are a worm to be squashed beneath his slave boy's shoe.
So,
Name?
Purpose of visit?
Value of gift you bring for Herod?
Wait for your 'friends', and I may let you all see Herod. If you bow enough.
Better start practising.
[ 15. December 2002, 22:48: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
'Ere, Rudolph, your round!
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(guessing I'm the idiot to whom Herod is referring)
Sorry for bursting in, Higness! But your'e gonna LOVE this!
We received a great portent that a king will be born today, and we're sure you'll want to go worship him with us! Come on, we got a bus and a bike, we'll squeeze you in somewhere!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Grabs Wise Man 2 as well.
Yeah, you too smart arse.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(naturally I said all this dangling from midair as Henchman menaces me)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Yes, Chief Shepherd, Rudolph is round...
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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
<Calls from inside the Throne Room>
Are my worshippers here yet?
I want presents.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
(To audience:)
Oh shoot. They're jabbering about some 'new king' and how they want to worship him. Herod is not gonna be pleased.
(To Wise Guy and Wise Man 2:)
So, um, a new king? What do you mean?
[Puritanical whinger is back]
[ 15. December 2002, 22:52: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
If the king we cannot see
the local priest it'll have to be
Perhaps they can inform
where the child is to be born
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Oo arr, dragon, old mate!
Never saw you there!
Wot you drinkin' then?
Hopes dragon doesn't want anything too flammable - that's why we can't drink in the 'Bird in Hand' any more....
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
If the king we cannot see
the local priest it'll have to be
Perhaps they can inform
where the child is to be born
Looks puzzled.
But Herod's wife isn't pregnant. And none of his latest shags are either - they were all rubbish, so he killed them. So what child?
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(Wise guy passes out in fright at sudden realization of future likely torture.)
Here's the deal--a family member just had the gall to ask me to pick them up at the airport. The nerve. Anyway, I will run and do so and be back as soon as possible; in the meantime do with my limp body as you will. No, I mean that. I'll deal with it.)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
<From in the Throne Room>
What's the hold up?
Where's my adoration?
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
His star we have seen
it lights the sky with it's great beam
To tell the world the great news,
there is a new king for the Jews!
We have travelled far
come all this way to worship
led by that same star,
by bike and bus and Ship
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dragon:
Careful how you go wise men
Cos “Harrod” bears a grudge
And if you put a foot wrong, then
He’ll turn you into fudge…
( The lights in a nearby bookshop flicker on. It is a samll but charming second hand bookshop, piled high with papyri and scrolls. The inviting smell of proper coffee and cakes drifts across the stage. The light of the Star picks out a sign "ANGEL 3 Book Emporium". Underneath another sign flashes ominously "Special Offer - "Herod the Great - pychopath or lovable rogue?" by A. Nonn. 2 Denarii, with 10% off for Wise Men". The Proprietor steps out into the street.)
Hello, Dragon! You and I must get together and swap wing care tips sometime soon.
This publishing game's a trial let me tell you. None of my best selling authors can write and the ones that can write don't sell.
Dragon, you're obviously a literary type. What do you think of my - er A. Nonn's insightful guide to Herod? Let me read you the blurb:
"Herod the Great - what's behind the slave boiling and the cat shaving? A.Nonn's insighful unauthorised biography takes us to Herod's miserable childhood in Rome, where he toiled as an infant bookstand for the Emperor Augustus.
During an adolescence tortured by pimples and self-abuse, Herod dreamed of treading the boards and of willing co-stars (of all persuasions). Instead, mockery and rejection were his fate.
In his later years, as King of Judea, Herod became renowned for his Saturday night slave BBQ's and sausage sizzles. Obscenely rich and completely amoral, there was no aging widow's mite he would not pocket, no orphan's ice lolly he would not steal. Will it be a Bad End for Judea's favourite bully boy?
Praise for "Herod the Great - pyschopath or lovable rogue?"
"A thumping lusty yarn full of ripped bodices and petty theft." Judean Chronicle
"Short and nasty. The book's good, but." Nazareth Inquirer"
Now how about a macchiato and a slice of orange and almond cake? No calories, you know. I have a second hand biography of St George...O no please don't cry. That's better!
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Hang in there, Two! See you in about a half hour!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
<Yada yada, 'inside', yada, 'throne room' yada yada>
What's that about the King of the Jews?
That's me.
Send them in.
I'm bored.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Meanwhile, back at the pub
Bartender, a round of Killian's Red, please.
I figure we could all use some comic relief right now.
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
We have come to offer adoration
to the true King of this nation
As my friend is clearly sleeping,
I must now do all the speaking.
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Meanwhile, back at the pub
Bartender, a round of Killian's Red, please.
I figure we could all use some comic relief right now.
OY! You knows I drinks Old Peculiar. Don't you be plying me with foreign beers!
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I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Man 2:
We have come to offer adoration
to the true King of this nation
As my friend is clearly sleeping,
I must now do all the speaking.
Well, don't take too long about it.
You can choose between bowing, praising, kissing or some combination of all three.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
Look, it really would be a good idea if you read my book about Herod first! Tell what sort of painful death to expect and that sort of thing. Failing that, I offer consultancy services and cut-price funerals.
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The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Man 2
Nativity Play
# 3654
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Posted
Now to save us all some time,
This will not be said in rhyme
Herod, king of Judea, my colleagues and I are Magi from the east - astrologers and interpreters of signs. We saw in the night sky a wonderous thing, a star announcing the birth of one who is to be King and Priest over all the Jews, who will bring greatness to his people and peace to the world. We have travelled far to worship him. We expected him to be here in Jerusalem, among your own house. But we have been informed that this is not the case, and we are deeply perplexed about this. For where apart from the kings own family could a king be found?
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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan
Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
What's this angel doing in here?
Shoo.
I'm still waiting for my adoration, by the way.
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Gives nod to trumpeter, who plays a fanfare. Evil Henchman announces:
The Wise Men.
Pushes them through the door, and to their knees before Herod. Lurks menacingly by the side wall.
[ 15. December 2002, 23:05: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Dragon
Nativity Play
# 3669
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Posted
Thanks Angel 3 but I suspect
that you but take the pith
so I'll stick with a beer instead
down the pub with Mith
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come home to a real welsh dragon fire..
Posts: 103 | From: The Stage | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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