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Source: (consider it) Thread: Secret Of The Universe
Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397

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Further to add, mathematics is just one of many ways to describe the interconnectedness of all of creation.

None of which are a complete answer.

--------------------
Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.

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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
You're just envious because I'm not as tedious as you.

Frank, my dear, we don't give a damn, and your Iron Knee Gauge is kaput.

--------------------
Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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Pah.

None of you are even close to the secret of the Universe.

The secret to the Universe is graham crackers at bedtime.

There. I've let it out and it is no longer a secret. Now, everyone can eat graham crackers right before bed, get a good night's sleep and wake up fresh and productive in the morning.

No autographs please.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
You're just envious because I'm not as tedious as you.

Which goes to show that you "are at the same time not clever enough to understand short explanations and disinclined to read long ones" while we "toil at teaching, vainly devising short lessons for the lazy and long ones for the dull."

That's Augustine, by the way. Letter 162, if you want to look it up.

So "proceed on your merry way of invention, but remember you are giving fiction," not Augustine, or Plato, or Plotinus, or Zoroaster, or Protagorus, or whoever the fuck else you're misattributing your own hacked-together bad ideas to. Oh, that's Against Julian, III.19.36. You see, those of us used to discussing things cite our sources, rather than telling people to look for it ourselves when challenged. Most of the time, that's because we actually have evidence to back it up, rather than trying to conceal the fact that we're talking out of our asses when someone calls us on it.

Given how many times people here have handed you your fucking ass on a silver platter, do us a favor and pull your head out of it. We see through your attempts to change the subject when challenged, to not provide citations when called on the carpet, and to suggest that we don't agree with you because you're using a better translation, which the rest of us have enough good sense to see was outdated 50 years ago. Don't call me tedious just because I know my shit and you're making it up.

Look here, asswipe. None of us are going to tell you how clever you are, and if you think we aren't going to see through your bullshit artistry, then "you are mistaken, wretchedly mistaken, if not also detestably mistaken." (Op. cit., VI.26.83) Asking questions is one thing—I've had many of my own answered—but that means swallowing your pride and admitting that you don't know. Trying to act like you do is a good way to get yourself ripped a new one. You should work out your posting with fear and trembling, knowing full well that there's at least one person who can call you on any error you make.

So, quite frankly, we don't fucking care what you think you can do or what smart person honors you want us to believe you have. When you've proved yourself a right idiot, all we hear is the sound of overcompensation.

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Throw him some Borges, man!

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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comet

Snowball in Hell
# 10353

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I just nabbed this comment from the closed Heaven thread:
quote:
Frankie say:
I happen to know the Secret Of The Universe, and I just I tried telling the folks in Hell. Alas they don't have half a brain between them, and I didn't learn much.

putting aside our collective mental prowess for a moment...

these two sentences show the problem you have with opening threads. first,
quote:
I happen to know the Secret Of The Universe, and I just I tried telling the folks in Hell.
a statement that you already know something. not a point of discussion, but an assertion. a baldly ludicrous assertion - a blassertion, if you will - but an assertion. no real grounds for discussion. no questions, no food for thought.

essentially, a bog standard gloat. That's cool. this is Hell, we do gloating.

but then, the second sentence:
quote:
I didn't learn much.
nowhere in there did you ask a question, request an explanation, or solicit opinions. you gloated. and then you expected to learn something.

Sunshine, what the fuck do you expect to learn from gloating?

I could easily start a thread here in hell saying, "I'm the smartest fucker on this here ship, and I know it because the alien lint-eating squirrels told me so!" and the only responses that solicits are the expected scoffing because the alien squirrels obviously only eat waffles. there's no grounds for discussion, there's no basis for dialog.

where in there is there scope for you learning something?

unless, of course, your goal is to learn exactly how delusional you appear in other people's eyes.

And if that's the case, go, you! You batshit crazy little freak of nature, you! you really showed us!

opening a topic for discussion isn't really all that hard to grasp. seriously. We have some amazingly ignorant dumbasses who've been managing it around here for years.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by comet:
We have some amazingly ignorant dumbasses who've been managing it around here for years.

1. Insulting

2. True.

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Throw him some Borges, man!

Oh fuck no. The only thing that could possibly make this any weirder would be some "Tlön, Uqbar, Orbus Tertius" and "New Refutation of Time." We're keeping the reason I don't do acid—Borges is trippier—out of this.

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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The Secret of the Universe is that God provided us with psychoactive substances to consume before having to deal with some of our peers.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333

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Phpphhhh! Psychoactive substances are for amateurs. I can whip up a full head of psychedelic swirling, twisted hallucinogenic steam with nary a trace of assist.
Such low standard for hosts these days. [Disappointed]

--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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Whatever. Meanwhile I'm just going to put some Tia Maria in my coffee and enjoy myself.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110

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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Phpphhhh! Psychoactive substances are for amateurs. I can whip up a full head of psychedelic swirling, twisted hallucinogenic steam with nary a trace of assist.
Such low standard for hosts these days. [Disappointed]

Swirling, whirling? Sufi meets Gautama? Just askin in my Hostly ignorance?

I'll get my coat ...

[Even more seriously, I did like pissy's secret secret. Little gem, that was, lilbuddha. Just right for the terroir.]

--------------------
Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?

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Welease Woderwick

Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424

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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Whatever. Meanwhile I'm just going to put some Tia Maria in my coffee and enjoy myself.

Please remember to close the curtains first.

--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details

What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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Thank you for that gross imagery, I don't think.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
You're just envious because I'm not as tedious as you.


You have to respect his opinion, Ariston. He wrote the book on tedium. He has a mantelpiece of silverware for competitive tediousness. Box files of correspondence from the grateful - 'the memory of your conversation is, as I write, reconciling me to the grave'. Doctorates in mind numbing. A gold medal from the Society for Promoting Narcolepsy. I daresay there's a Ancient Greek shrine somewhere to Thanatos, Morpheus and Frank Mitchell.
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
So, quite frankly, we don't fucking care what you think you can do or what smart person honors you want us to believe you have.

Darn I was gonna do the name joke . I wonder if he's come up with his name through watching too many episodes of Eastenders .

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

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St. Stephen the Stoned
Shipmate
# 9841

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quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
So, quite frankly, we don't fucking care what you think you can do or what smart person honors you want us to believe you have.

Darn I was gonna do the name joke . I wonder if he's come up with his name through watching too many episodes of Eastenders .
Or maybe he and the writers of Eastenders had the same person in mind.

--------------------
Do you want to see Jesus or don't yer? Well shurrup then!

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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405

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Or at least the same tediousness.

--------------------
Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!

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deano
princess
# 12063

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Fuckwit's from Cheshire. What do you expect from him?

If he'd have any kind of sense or indeed taste, he would have left long ago.

Hee.

--------------------
"The moral high ground is slowly being bombed to oblivion. " - Supermatelot

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balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
42

No. No. No

That is the secret of Life, the Universe and everything. Seeing as we are only concerned with one of these three topics, and that the universe is constrained by the laws of mathematics, your reply should have been 14.

--------------------
Last ever sig ...

blog

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Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Pah.

None of you are even close to the secret of the Universe.

The secret to the Universe is graham crackers at bedtime.

There. I've let it out and it is no longer a secret. Now, everyone can eat graham crackers right before bed, get a good night's sleep and wake up fresh and productive in the morning.

No autographs please.

Graham crackers give me indigestion. I would not have a good night.

It is a pitiful secret of the universe to find one's self too old to eat a child's bedtime snack. [Frown]

--------------------
They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer

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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110

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balaam

Nope. Still 42. Three in One and One in Three trumps trivial arithmetic. This is Great Mystery. ITTWACW. Sheesh.

Also in tribute to the late, great Douglas Adams, I prefer God's Final Message to His Creation

'We apologize for the inconvenience'.

Cross out "We" and insert "I". Now you have a post prepared in advance specially for Frank Mitchell on this occasion. One of the little secrets of the universe, just waiting to be uncovered.

Do that, Frank, then all this bullshit will be soon be over. As long as you aren't just buggering about, that is. Simples. You won't get a meerkat toy, but you can't expect everything.

[ 12. January 2014, 12:40: Message edited by: Barnabas62 ]

--------------------
Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?

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EtymologicalEvangelical
Shipmate
# 15091

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell
I'm a Karate Expert, and I used to be a member of Mensa.

*yawn*

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

--------------------
You can argue with a man who says, 'Rice is unwholesome': but you neither can nor need argue with a man who says, 'Rice is unwholesome, but I'm not saying this is true'. CS Lewis

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Robert Armin

All licens'd fool
# 182

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Isn't the answer hidden in a mediaeval monastery somewhere? And you have to find it before the monks burn it down, or you get converted to the Albigensian heresy? Or is that the new computer game Simon is launching this Easter?

--------------------
Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin

Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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You be careful, EE - or he'll come round your house and smash a brick over his head.
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LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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quote:
Robert Armin: Isn't the answer hidden in a mediaeval monastery somewhere?
Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.

--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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Sorry Scarlet,

I was snarfing down some graham crackers at the time as a part of getting ready for bed. A moderate amount of carbs right before bedtime helps some people get to sleep. Or, so some apparently scientific studies say.

The secret to the Universe is that there is no secret. It's all right there. We have been given brains by God to be able to figure out how the Universe works and some of us (not me) are diligently trying to figure out just exactly that.

We are missing big chunks of knowledge. Like, what the heck is going to unify quantum physics and where my socks go when I wash them.

Hmmm. I seem to have forgot where I was going. At least I know where I am.

As I say, there is no secret and anyone who tells you there is a secret is simply selling you a load of snake oil.

Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
As I say, there is no secret and anyone who tells you there is a secret is simply selling you a load of snake oil.

Quite so Tortuf .
Without any religious or philosophical perspective there is indeed no secret at all .

We inhabit a miniscule grain of rock somewhere in a Cosmos too vast for us to even comprehend .
Furthermore, as far as we now understand it, there isn't anyone else out there , we are alone . When circumstances conspire to snuff out Earth and all it contains that's it .... nothing . No one will care or even know that we ever existed

--------------------
Change is the only certainty of existence

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Frank Mitchell
planked
# 17946

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Actually I posted the Secret Of The Universe here because I'd already concluded some people just don't get it, and I was wondering why. Like the Physics Teacher who thought studying Electro-Magnetism wasn't much use. That's despite living in a world full of electric motors and radio communications. He left one additional clue for this mental abnormality: He thought sexual intercourse was superfluous, and in the World Of The Future eveybody would happily reproduce by Artifical Insemination instead. Do any of you people feel likewise?

--------------------
Faictz Ce Que Vouldras

Posts: 72 | From: Cheshire, England | Registered: Dec 2013  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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Did someone take a piss in tbe wee-wee end of the lake of fire? Where's the smoke? Or is Frank honking a doobie?

--------------------
Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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I take it Frank is giving us disguised autobiography.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Martin60
Shipmate
# 368

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Why are you asking Frank? Did you go to church today?

--------------------
Love wins

Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
Actually I posted the Secret Of The Universe here because I'd already concluded some people just don't get it, and I was wondering why. Like the Physics Teacher who thought studying Electro-Magnetism wasn't much use. That's despite living in a world full of electric motors and radio communications. He left one additional clue for this mental abnormality: He thought sexual intercourse was superfluous, and in the World Of The Future eveybody would happily reproduce by Artifical Insemination instead. Do any of you people feel likewise?

Hostly Bowler On

Frank Mitchell,

Despite friendly advice mostly in the Styx thread you started and an Admin warning on a duplicate thread to this in Heaven you are still posting well beyond the Ship's 10 Commandments and the various board guidelines.

I have therefore referred this to the Admins.

Hostly Bowler Off

Sioni Sais
Hellhost

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
passer

Indigo
# 13329

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quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Did someone take a piss in tbe wee-wee end of the lake of fire? Where's the smoke? Or is Frank honking a doobie?

It's nothing, np - just that tangent which Ariston predicted yesterday.


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The Rhythm Methodist
Shipmate
# 17064

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In the good old days, that embarrassing, dysfunctional family member would never even be mentioned...just tethered by a chain in the basement, and fed through a small aperture in the iron-bound door. These days, they even have access to keyboards and the web. Whatever happened to preventative detention?
Posts: 202 | From: Wales | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Whatever happened to Proper Use of Capitalization?

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Whatever happened to Proper Use of Capitalization?

It eloped with the definite article.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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That's okay then, presumably they'll not be using Artificial Insemination.

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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I suppose Frank could either be slightly German, or nodding in the direction of older writers - 'We had at that Tyme a Physics Teacher mightily ignorant of the feveral ufes of Elecktrical Machines and moreover greatly oppofed to Copulation ...'
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Isn't the answer hidden in a mediaeval monastery somewhere? And you have to find it before the monks burn it down, or you get converted to the Albigensian heresy? Or is that the new computer game Simon is launching this Easter?

That was one of the first ever computer games I played - "Abbey", where you had to type in your responses. At around Level 3 the game suddenly altered and the abbey was full of sinister lunatics and weird, evil places. Or was that The Hobbit? Similar style of game; memorable for Gandalf continually climbing in and out of the window without saying anything.

Anyway, the Secret of The Universe is all enshrined in the Pyramids. Once you've worked out which one, the rest should be quite easy.

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Frank Mitchell
planked
# 17946

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Refer me to the Admins? The Physics Teacher story is literally true. And many people would regard the Galileo quote (or paraphrase) as General Knowledge, and quite conventional. And if the people in Hell wanted me to credit them with any brains, why did they carry on as they did? Why am I supposed to be so much worse? I've read the 10 Commandments and the Guidelines, and everybody is free to disagree with me. Am I getting inside their heads on some subliminal level?

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Faictz Ce Que Vouldras

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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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In answer to your last question: No.

You start getting into trouble when you overestimate yourself.

Just some friendly advice.

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
I've read the 10 Commandments and the Guidelines,

Informally you understand, but you aren't simply just required to read them. As it says on the tin, they command and guide.

All of us.

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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Frank Mitchell
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# 17946

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Obviously I'm supposed to have Paranormal Powers so I can see Hidden Meanings in the Commandments and Guidelines. Actually a Professor of Psychiatry once said I had a Paranoid Personality, but the Hidden Meanings still elude me.

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Faictz Ce Que Vouldras

Posts: 72 | From: Cheshire, England | Registered: Dec 2013  |  IP: Logged
Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784

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Seriously Frank,

I don't know what you are trying to do/prove. You seem to enjoy posting here. If you want to continue to enjoy posting here host baiting is not a good idea.

Assuming, that is, you are not a troll.

Why don't you give your fellow posters some credit for intelligence that might even equal your own and participate instead of contrasting.

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Frank Mitchell
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# 17946

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Sounds like some people around here have an Inferiority Complex. Anybody with a reasonable level of fitness can learn Karate: You just need to put up with alot of tedious practice throwing kicks and punches in mid-air, and be very careful not to hurt anybody. Judo is actually alot more dangerous. Likewise I'm sure a large proportion of SOF Posters could get into Mensa. The IQ Test is a statistical measure of a certain type of aptitude. Take the population of your town and divide by fifty, then you'll see why Mensa is not as exclusive as they pretend. And you soon realize there are talents which that aptitude doesn't cover.

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Faictz Ce Que Vouldras

Posts: 72 | From: Cheshire, England | Registered: Dec 2013  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
Actually I posted the Secret Of The Universe here because I'd already concluded some people just don't get it, and I was wondering why.

1. Then bloody well ask a question like 'why don't you get it'?

2. Also, pouring Eau de Arrogance all over yourself does not, in fact, make you smell any nicer.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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Frank Mitchell
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# 17946

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Okay, why don't you get it that Galileo had an insight into the Secret Of The Universe? There was nothing stopping you from stating your position before. And why am I being described as arrogant? I said the idea came from Galileo, and Pythagoras before that. Though while we're in Hell, I should mention that the Greek word "Daimon" is equivalent to the Latin word "Genius".

I don't understand you lot. I've given you the Meaning Of Life, the Solution Of The Mind-Body Problem, and now the Secret Of The Universe, but all you do is moan. You could at least say "Thankyou".

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Faictz Ce Que Vouldras

Posts: 72 | From: Cheshire, England | Registered: Dec 2013  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Frank Mitchell:
And why am I being described as arrogant?

Because you said that you discovered the secret of the universe. Not that you read a book somewhere about Galileo.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

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LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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Oh, I discover the Secret of the Universe all the time. There's really nothing to it.

Now, if I could just remember where my keys are...

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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

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