Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Anthropologist from Hell
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - noon
Have established base camp. Despite not being permitted to pack in the standard heavy weaponry, in accordance with the standing Heaven/Hell Peace Treaty, I've set up a defensive perimeter of motion detectors to provide me with adequate warning. The mischeviousness of the natives is legendary, and will need to be guarded against to prevent them from accidentally contaminating the area with troll bait or using up my meagre supply of sulphur. It needs to last until another Hellhost can bat-lift in additional supplies.
From my current vantage point, I think I can see all sorts of bizzarre activity. I shall endeavour to investigate closer and report my findings in my next log entry. [ 20. April 2005, 15:54: Message edited by: KenWritez ]
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 14:00
Have discovered some sort of tribal dance. A central group appears to be undergoing some sort of inquisition or filtering process. I speculate that the natives are trying to find a virgin to sacrifice in their backwards rituals. They'll need a lot of luck; these beings appear to copulate at the drop of a hat. Very friendly.
Aside: Must remember to take innoculations upon return to base camp. Also, need to unpack spare set of boots. Stepped on something squishy and annoyingly underfoot, possibly an fledgling Sinéite.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Stepped on something squishy and annoyingly underfoot, possibly an fledgling Sinéite.
Not unless you're up on Mt Sinéi.
And if you are - keep taking the tablets.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 15:40
Have encountered two radically different specimens that seem to have taken an interest in me. One is a juvenile, possibly a slave or lickspittle caste, and the other is a grizzled alpha-female with beady little eyes that I imagine have skimmed many a post. I stand still, hoping not to startle them. One of them pinched my butt. I don't want to think about which one it might have been.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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saysay
 Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Also, need to unpack spare set of boots. Stepped on something squishy and annoyingly underfoot, possibly an fledgling Sinéite.
What kind of anthropologist steps on his specimens?
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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kinder
Shipmate
# 8886
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Posted
very, very clumsy.
-------------------- "I can actually say that after 4 1/2 years of therapy and intense spiritual healing, I no longer hate George Bush. But at the same time, I have committed my life to his overthrow. I mean 'overthrow' in a loving, Christian way...."
Posts: 126 | From: NY | Registered: Dec 2004
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 17:20
Have found two more smaller specimens, even more diminutive than the previous juvenile. Perhaps if I entice them with some marshmallows, they'll approach close enough for me to step on them. I knew that the specimen-boot would readily be able to collect Sinéites, as per their well-document pro-boot proclivities, but I'm eagre to see if this collection mechanism would have broader application. Indeed, I'd love to give every native hereabouts a taste of my boot.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Peppone
Marine
# 3855
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Posted
It's not an anthropologist, it's Nancy Sinatra.
-------------------- I looked at the wa's o' Glasgow Cathedral, where vandals and angels painted their names, I was clutching at straws and wrote your initials, while parish officials were safe in their hames.
Posts: 3020 | From: Hong Kong | Registered: Dec 2002
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 17:40
Annoying song stuck in head. Attempting to expunge with blowtorch.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Sine Nomine*
 Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
Ah, Wookie, you did say you'd pay me back one day for my last half-dozen "emotionally crippled, bald, illegal alien Canuck" comments.
But I'd hoped you'd be clever about it and not stoop to my level. Not sure what I based that on though.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Spiffy
Ship's WonderSheep
# 5267
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by saysay: What kind of anthropologist steps on his specimens?
The smart ones.
-------------------- Looking for a simple solution to all life's problems? We are proud to present obstinate denial. Accept no substitute. Accept nothing. --Night Vale Radio Twitter Account
Posts: 10281 | From: Beervana | Registered: Dec 2003
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Left at the Altar
 Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Careful RooK. You don't want to end up in the natives' soup pot.
-------------------- Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Timothy the Obscure
 Mostly Friendly
# 292
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Posted
There is a new creature in the forest. It makes odd noises--"Eh?" it says. "Universal health care," it says. It has large, shiny feet that leave cross-hatched prints, and it steps on everything and everyone. I have managed to elude it so far. The skin of its upper body is fuzzy, green with red lines crossing at right angles. It carries a small rectangular object in one hand and makes marks on it whenever we confront it and try to warn it about the quicksands and the were-cobras. It seems to possess intelligence of a sort. I must study it closely--I doubt it will survive long, but if we can understand its life cycle we may be able to protect it.
-------------------- When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion. - C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
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Alfred E. Neuman
 What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Silently, the silver disk moves through the broken clouds. As part of a reserve contingent, it's lone mechanized navigator scans the surface below for The Anthropologist. On a fool's quest to document the mating habits and social organization of the primitives in this world, the rogue scientist was lost.
A thick-skinned researcher, quick to anger with little patience for protocol, he had set out unprepared for this expedition. Tasked with possible emergency evacuation, the android shifted his vessel, extended the reach of invisible sensors...searching...
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Anthropologists do not step on their specimens. Entomologists step on their specimens.
RooK, I suggest you get an interpreter from the local populace. Possibly a lepus floccus. They seem to know their way around here.
Avoid hosts wearing loud Hawaiian shirts. They bite.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 20:30
An exciting discovery! With the photographic evidence now being beamed back to the Dark University, it is now clear that the monstrous Queen of the Sinéites is, in fact, migratory. As per standard protocol, carefully maintained a facing stance towards the Queen to ensure that she didn't slip behind me. It's theoretically doubtful that she's here to feed, but there's no reason to be careless.
More of the natives are taking notice of me now. One of them appears to be mimicking my actions, in a crudely awkward sort of way. It almost seems sentient. If I can manage to step on it and scrape its remains into one of the collection jars, I'll be eager to run a cognitive-aura residue analysis see just how evolved their tiny brains are. Who knows? One day, they may be capable of an elementary put-down.
Heard the approach of the Keener Sidekick's Aerospace Hog. Hid until it swept by.
Circled back to base camp, and have found a suitable roost to dangle from. Will feign sleep to see if it affects how bold they become.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Kelly Alves
 Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
(Bunny hikes through the woods, axe over shoulder.
Spots some crazed looking bald guy lifting up jars of gross-looking stuff, swirling the contents around, and giggling.He also seems to be scribbling into a Hello Kitty Notebook with an orange crayon.
She recognises him as Rook.
Tears fill her eyes. She trudges along, head hung low, resolving to put him on the prayer list. If only he had come to Jesus, perhaps things needn't have come to this...) [ 11. February 2005, 03:41: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
-------------------- I cannot expect people to believe “ Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.” Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 20:40
What a curious experience. Tortuf just wandered by my base camp, suggested that these beings have a common, well-developed language, and that I could employ one of them to show me around. I was so happy to see him, and astounded at his news, that I barely had a chance to sink my fangs into his shoulder before he leapt out of reach. He's surprisingly quick for a lazy fisherman.
He also warned me of some mega-fauna to be concerned about. So, it seems that it is true that the Protector Breed that fought in the Heaven/Hell war so long ago continues to this day. Hell, perhaps even the Mighty Stoo may still be lurking.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 1 - 20:45
Kelly's here too! So this is where she hides after she gets sick of me leering at her.
Note to self: blow up captured images of Kelly striding through the wilds with only that sexy axe, and post in the guy's locker room.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Stoo
 Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
The Stoo, aware of a minor disturbance amongst his people, yawns and rolls over.
He makes a mental note to inform the fellow leaders of the pride of the presence of an intruder.
He'll do it after lunch. Or tomorrow. Maybe.
-------------------- This space left blank
Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Special Circumstances Agent Callan, reporting on the disturbance on the Boards.
At the request of the Ascended Masters of Purgatory, I have journeyed to Heaven to investigate the repreted breach of the Board Continuum. An entity, known only as RooK has escaped from the confines of Hell and is now in Heaven, masquerading as an anthropologist. The creature is fanged and possesses a rudimentary intelligence which passes for sentience in Hell and probably genius level IQ in Heaven. It is a predator which, in it's own eco-system, fulfils a useful, if lowly, function of feeding on carrion. However, this breach cannot be tolerated. Quite apart from the havoc it could wreak in heaven, like releasing a pack of rats onto an isolated island inhabited by gentle marsupials, if these incursions become routine the Sacred Slopes of Mount Purgatory could be awash with game threads from the circus, or threads about cats and tapdancing. This cannot be tolerated. I will have to deal humanely with the intruder. An industrial strength tranquiliser should do it.
(Loads tranquiliser gun with lengthy and interminable thread on ecclesiology and settles down to wait for the creature to come within range). [ 11. February 2005, 10:23: Message edited by: Callan ]
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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jedijudy*
 Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
There is a disturbance in the Force.
It has been years since this particular feeling has assaulted my senses.
<jj meditates>
Ahhh. An upside-down chess piece. With fangs. Woe betide the one who steps on or otherwise causes unhappiness to the fluffy bunnies and kitties and others of this realm.
I may have to wrap the rook in the Sophie Aubrey chintz curtains.
-------------------- ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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sophs
 Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
A disembodied vice wonders whether RooK thinks we forgot what happened last time...
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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snowgoose
 Silly goose
# 4394
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Posted
Ooh, poor creature, it seems to be lost. Not the usual migratory fowl. And it looks cold. It must be used to a warmer climate.
I know---I'll knit it a hat. A fluffy one. With a nice maple leaf pattern and lots of pom-poms. In the meanwhile, this will have to do.
< Takes a stripy, heavily bobbled pink-and-green tea cozy and tosses it toward the strange creature, then settles down with knitting needles. >
-------------------- Lord, what can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man? --Terry Pratchett
Save a Siamese!
Posts: 3868 | From: Tidewater Virginia | Registered: Apr 2003
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Mrs Badcrumble
Shipmate
# 5839
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Posted
In my head, Rook now speaks like David Attenborough.... maybe Attenborough's evil twin?
-------------------- Note to self, Religion - Scary...
Posts: 286 | From: Wrexham, North Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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saysay
 Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
Hey - are those marshmallows?
And they're the colored kind. I like it when things come in pretty colors.
I like sweet and pretty things almost as much as I like shiny things.
I wonder what dear, sweet, kind, loving person left these here for me?
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Robert Armin
 All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Wow - what a difficult thread! Everybody's using such BIG words! Can anyone put all of this into simple language so that I can compr... underst.... - so that I know what's going on?
-------------------- Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
a pilgrim wanders in.
could this be a place to end the pilgrimage?
in the center of the grove there seems to be a creature rather like a snapping turtle. the pilgrim brightens. the pilgrim likes turtles. this could be a good omen! but on inspection, the creature seems more like a small dinosaur than a turtle.
the pilgrim wanders off again.
-------------------- On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Left at the Altar: Careful RooK. You don't want to end up in the natives' soup pot.
No, that would be an anthropophagist. Though I suppose we already have a person here who makes a lovely Stoo.
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Indeed, I'd love to give every native hereabouts a taste of my boot.
"Shall I? ... No, I think I'd better not." --- Tom Lehrer, "My Home Town"
quote: Originally posted by sophs: A disembodied vice
What would that be, exactly? Free-floating lust? ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
-------------------- My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity
Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by The Wanderer: Wow - what a difficult thread! Everybody's using such BIG words! Can anyone put all of this into simple language so that I can compr... underst.... - so that I know what's going on?
It seems to be field notes of an anthropologist.
It isn't surprising that it seems confusing at first. Such things only make sense when read in the context of a progam of research, and in terms of a a field of discourse, and when calibrated against the background of a body of theory that is itself under question. The anthropologist in a sense uses the cultural capital of the people amongst whom their field work is carried out as a source of reflexive challenge to the values and myths of the community of which they are an observer.
In many of the most productive cultural exchanges between the field and the anthropological community as mediated by the anthropologist (and thus containing at least seven points of view, the synchronic formulations of the society being studied, their cultural productions in reaction to the intervention and observation of the anthroplogist (who is of course in a sense an agent of their own birth culture), the self-regarding and self-relective processes of the anthropological community that are projected onto the outside world as scholarship or science by the fourth point of view which is the public face of the community towards the individual practicioner, the raw observations authored by the anthropologist (which may or may not contain some aspect of a Theory of Mind "out there" in the objective culture under consideration which paradoxically only exists as represented but are in any case a product of the interaction between the anthropologist and the categories of thought experienced whether or not encountered) and the internal consciousness of the anthropologist - which is of course a subject for psychology or neurology not anthropology but must be at least listed here as a possible locus of interaction making 21 unique structures in all) the anthropologist themself is both a member of and a temporary outsider to source community whilst at the same time being an outsider to the host community yet in some ways playing the role of a member over against the more embedded ur-membership.
Simple really. All a matter of gaze.
-------------------- Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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orinocco
Shipmate
# 5083
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Posted
quote: Hey - are those marshmallows?
Has this kind strange person left any big mugs of hot chocolate to go with the marshmallows? wonders the wondering womble as she passes by.
-------------------- overground, underground, wombling free
My Live Journal
Posts: 364 | From: The birthplace of St. George (allegedly) | Registered: Oct 2003
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 2 - 11:30
Special Note: I felt a brightness in the Force that I haven't felt since... the Battle of the Cats during the Heaven/Hell war. Alone here in the wilds of Heaven, shall try to resist kicking any felines. The lightsabres I can parry, but I still flinch whenever I think about the chintz.
The natives appear to be extremely active in the early dawn hours. Having quietly watched them with my snide-sense from behind closed eyelids, to avoid startling them with my baleful glare, their finest ability seems to be a particular adeptness at knitting. Spotted a free-floating spirit of sardonic vice; very hard to step on. Must wait for it to land.
Heard some clumsy lout thrashing around setting up a hunting blind further down the slope, probably along a game trail, and splashing bits of what smelled like chum around as a lure. Probably Callan - I think I can detect the scent of Ben Gay. It's possible that I still owe him money from poker: will avoid.
Today will try to follow some of the natives, to get an idea of their customs. Will attempt communication, to see if any of them speak a language I know and perhaps if they can act as some sort of interpreter or guide.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Arrives with several GLE pastors for prayer meeting. Notices horrid stench that was not here before - senses a presence that seems out of place. Remembers the call to "love your enemy, do good to those who hate you." Decides - just this once - not to get close enough to lost presence to try it. Gets to keep chin hairs as a result.
-------------------- TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
It's just dawned on me what all this is about. RooK is part of a vast, galactic experiment controlled by pan-dimensional beings who manifest themselves on this plane as mice. In his case, squinty little mice.
And obviously, his Babelfish isn't working.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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The Bede's American Successor
 Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Mrs Badcrumble: In my head, Rook now speaks like David Attenborough.... maybe Attenborough's evil twin?
If only you knew.
That anthropologist from Hell is used to being amongst the Greatly Granola Generation among the Roses while playing with his toy trucks—when not taking small rodents to a higher State of existence in rush hour. So, while one cannot measure something without affecting it somehow, the anthropologist will probably find a way to carry out his mission and return alive to tell his tales.
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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saysay
 Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
[Hangs head in shame; reports to Callan]
Sir, I regret to inform you that my attempt to lure the intruder out into the open so you can get a clean shot has failed.
While he is clearly intelligent, I fear that he will not survive long in this atmosphere. Unless... Yes, that's it! I shall endeavor to convince him that he does, indeed, have a heart.
It will be a difficult mission. This close to Valentine's Day, his resistance will be higher than normal. I realize that it could mean my death, but that is a risk I am willing to take to protect my fellow shipmates.
Now, does anybody know where I can find some chunks of raw meat? Janine, you wouldn't happen to have any, would you?
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Alfred E. Neuman
 What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
The flickering monitor of the aurascope attracts The Navigator's attention. Hundreds of lifeforms encircling a position within the fluorescent pink jungle below. Calculations indicate high probability that The Anthropolgist has been located. Manuevering his silent vessel to an advantage point, the android moves his hand over a control board and energizes an induction field.
Deep within the bowels of the demon craft, a crackling force builds upon itself. Must be ready to lay down a cleansing wall of Hellfire on the primitives below if they choose to rush The Anthropologist. Except for a brave few, the encircling horde remains hidden.
Will attempt contact on open channel to warn rogue scientist.
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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saysay
 Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
saysay pauses, transfixed by something shiny in the sky; shakes head
Really musn't let myself get distracted like that.
trundles off in search of raw meat
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251
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Posted
INTERNAL MEMORANDUM
To: Callan (Special Circumstances Agent)
From: Duo Seraphim
cc: Alan Cresswell, Supreme Wizard and Adminiphim Liason; RuthW, Mistress of the Mysteries and Keeper of the Holy Stones
We are concerned about this attempt to co-opt the local wildlife in your mission to restore the Continuum. Raw meat is unlikely to tempt the "rook".
The poor debased creature has interpreted your lures in the only way it knows. While it is otherwise laughable that any initiate of the Order of the Most Holy Mountain would contaminate himself with gambling, these are desperate times. The Randomness Index remains unacceptably high and we are at an increased risk of Topic Incursion.
We regret that you may have to lower yourself to losing some games of "poker", in order to tempt the creature forth.
Duo Seraphim, 7th Level Sage and Most High Defender of Topic Purity
-------------------- 2^8, eight bits to a byte
Posts: 3967 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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RooK
 1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
DAY 2 - 16:45
Have been following one of the natives. I think it probably realizes I'm present, but seems to quickly lose interest in me. When the Keener Sidekick found me, the native was momentarily fascinated with the hovering Aerospace Hog. It's possible that I should request an Imp Parcel Service delivery of some shiny beads for use in barter here.
Sidenote: Messenger popup indicates that Keener Sidekick is trying to get in touch with me. Probably wants to share his latest copy of some Britney Spears song. Set status to "busy".
What's truly fascinating is that upon meeting another lone native, the native I was following glanced about, then gobbled the newcomer up whole. The subsequent prolonged preening process may perhaps be intended to hide evidence of the predation. It seems that here is indeed support for Darth Nightlamp's theories that Heaven inhabitants participate in many of the exact same interactions as in Hell, just more superficially sanitized. His theory about them being juicier should wait until later in the expedition to be tested.
Comm system claims that there is some sort of Orange Alert about suspected activity from Purgatorim Terrorists. Probably about Callan the Stinky. Ignoring for now; I have enough Duct Tape.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
The farce RooK. Use the farce.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Alfred E. Neuman
 What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
turns up gain on ToadyPhone 3000™. faint sounds of sniggering interspersed with crunching and slurping on the base frequency. the ship shimmers briefly and winks out.
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
RooK,
I have been in communication with the Purgatoids. Apparently, they only wish to study you to ascertain whether or not you can recite the home phone number of the Archbishop of Canterbury. Never fear. I will let you know what it is in case of an emergency. Please do watch out for the one called Alan though. I hear he invades other countries and carries off their women.
The one you need to watch out for is the Dead Horses Host. He is said to have incredible stamina. Did you know he reads all of those posts in Dead Horses and still has not committed Seppuku, or shot innocent civilians using an AK-47 at the nearest tower?
Please be sure and not interrupt any Heaven rituals. I understand that they are quite upset when one is interrupted. You have heard of the curse, haven't you?
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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dj_ordinaire
Host
# 4643
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Posted
After establishing a vantage point in the nearest Chapel of Ease, I am able to report back to Mystery Worship that neither the fiendish anthropologist, his Celestial Quarry nor those curiously longwinded Purgatorial types are properly vested for the liturgical Season.
The light at Rook's camp is derived from little butane lamps rather than symmetrically arranged altar candles, and even though it is Saturday he has neglected to wear blue socks. His pith helmet is exceptionally comely, however, probably purchased at that nice little Bespoke Safari Outfitter off Savile Row, and in a material that could at a distance be mistaken for lace. I might attempt to steal it.
My only fear is that by the time I return to more liturgically competent climes, the whole thing will have gone "belly-up" and turn into some sort of tea-light toting "Ecclesiantic" realm...
-------------------- Flinging wide the gates...
Posts: 10335 | From: Hanging in the balance of the reality of man | Registered: Jun 2003
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
-------------------- blog Adam's likeness, Lord, efface; Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
Sarkycow wanders into base camp, straight through the perimeter of motion sensors. The sensors appear about to go off, but a quick wave of the toasting fork emabrrasses them into silence.
RooK?
RooK?
Thought you might be needing some more sulphur by now. Found anything interesting up here?
There's a little fluffy thing hanging about in the treees over there. It keeps laughing manically. I suggest we observe it - see if it does anything more than laugh.
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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snowgoose
 Silly goose
# 4394
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Posted
My, we seem to be having a lot of visitors today. Better put the kettle on.
< Sets knitting down carefully, puts kettle on, prepares teapot, puts out trays of cakes and little cups of sweets on those frilly paper doilies. >
Tea, anyone?
-------------------- Lord, what can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man? --Terry Pratchett
Save a Siamese!
Posts: 3868 | From: Tidewater Virginia | Registered: Apr 2003
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