|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Heaven: Anthropologist from Hell
|
KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
|
Posted
Hey, that thing walking around with the notebook looks like it might be good. Let's go have a taste....
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
The jedi waves her hand in front of KenWritez' face...
You must not eat the visitors.
The Sarky and the RooK probably thought they were coming to a safe place. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
(Notices condiments smeared over hands, and hastily wipes them off.)
It may be a good thing that I have terrible taste.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
Campbellite fingers the handle on his fireplace poker.
Well clearly you have terrible taste, RooK. Everyone knows that you serve barbecue kitten (even the tofu versions) with cole slaw. How could you forget the cole slaw?
Campbellite keeps one eye on the jedi, and another on the kitty hiding in the bushes.
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
|
Posted
sophs looks in the direction that Campbellite keeps glancing in and spies the kitten. She then picks it up and moves it out of harms way
Mean person ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
|
Posted
Sarkycow waits to see what the natives do with the picture.
So, RooK, whaddya reckon? Is Simon a creator god to the natives? Or a myth that they frighten their youngsters with? Or what?
Actually, come to think of it, does this society have a juvenile form? I haven't spotted any youngsters. Or any leaders/alphas. The Jedi could fit into the care-giver category however...
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
|
Posted
KenWritez thoughtfully chews on jedi's hand which she foolishly stuck in his face.
Hmmmm....
<Spits it out>
Ick. Tastes like tofu. I'm walking over to try a bite of that walking-around, looking-around thing....
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
|
Posted
I wonder what would happen if Rook or Ken actually ate one of the creatures that dwell here.
I suppose that the creature would die and go to... well, heaven.
--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
Naughty, naughty KenWritez and Campbellite.
The jedi wipes the slobber off her hand and wonders for the thirty-second time why in the world she always gets the job of taking care of the toddlers. They are so cute, but it would be great to hang out with adults from time to time. She pats sophs on the head in gratitude for looking after the RooK's kitten. Darling girl.
*yawn* Well, RooK and Sarky, I think my brood and I should all wander off to our beds so you nice people can go home. We must do this again sometime.
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Timothy the Obscure
Mostly Friendly
# 292
|
Posted
Timothy walks up and takes a morsel of barbecued tofukitten, sits down on a rock and pops the cork on a bottle of Elk Cove 2003 Pinot Gris. Tastes the barbecue, sips the wine.... No, it clashes with the wine...too much vinegar in the sauce. These creatures really don't have much to offer...the kindest thing to do would be to return them to their natural habitat...
--------------------
When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.
- C. P. Snow
Posts: 6114 | From: PDX | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
Timothy,
The problem isn't the wine. The problem is that you are using the wrong BBQ sauce.
This is what you need.
They will ship it anywhere in the world!
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
The ship morphs into a glittering disco ball and showers the happy campers with dancing beams of light.
Everyone clasps hands and begin to dance in a joyful circle to the lilting tune of "It's a Small World After All!"
Watching "Southpark" again, Uncle?
--------------------
This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
|
Posted
No. I've only basic cable. You know..local channels plus 9 shopping networks. This is the only entertainment I have. I try to fit in..but it doesn't always work well.
--------------------
--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
ONUnicorn
Shipmate
# 7331
|
Posted
quote:
These are Soylent Green kittens.
But, but, but...
TUESDAY is Soylent Green day!!! It isn't Tuesday!!!!
--------------------
"A pig's snout is NOT an electrical outlet."
Posts: 637 | From: Indianapolis, IN | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
I wonder what would happen if Rook or Ken actually ate one of the creatures that dwell here.
I suppose that the creature would die and go to... well, heaven.
Speak for yourself. If RooK kills me, I'm pretty sure it'll be because he thinks it'd be funny to watch Sarky poking at me with her fork down below.
And I've never seen RooK juggle in Hell.
saysay roasts a hot dog over the fire, steals some BBQ sauce from the guests, and admires the painting.
--------------------
"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
Careful with the BBQ sauce, saysay. A little of that goes a long way.
It almost makes the tofu kitties edible.
[more carp spelling]
[ 21. February 2005, 18:59: Message edited by: Campbellite ]
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
Dear and Reverend Sir, my friend Campbellite, why in the world did I never think to offer you tofu kittens before? RooK is brilliant!!!
...jj passes Campbellite a platter of barbeque tofu cat with a side of special sauce and baked beans, cole slaw and grits...
(Oh, no! Food and cats! Are we in trouble with the hosts and admins???)
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
...jj passes Campbellite a platter of barbeque tofu cat with a side of special sauce and baked beans, cole slaw and grits...
Grits??? ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Is this going to become another cannibalism thread? ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ONUnicorn
Shipmate
# 7331
|
Posted
quote:
Is this going to become another cannibalism thread?
We've already mentioned Soylent Green... and it's tuesday now!!! TUESDAY IS SOYLENT GREEN DAY!!!
--------------------
"A pig's snout is NOT an electrical outlet."
Posts: 637 | From: Indianapolis, IN | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
snowgoose
Silly goose
# 4394
|
Posted
In that case, I'd best make some more tea.
Posts: 3868 | From: Tidewater Virginia | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
The ship morphs into a glittering disco ball and showers the happy campers with dancing beams of light.
Everyone clasps hands and begin to dance in a joyful circle to the lilting tune of "It's a Small World After All!"
Startlingly, I just posted to a leather-related discussion group today about the disco version of that very song, without having read this post.
I just thought you all should know.
--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity
Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
(Flips open Original Star Trek communicator.)
Mr. Gort? One to beam up. Our mission here is complete.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
David, you are not a well man.
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
|
Posted
"Goodbye, RooKy Poppins. Don't stay away too long." ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
--------------------
Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
|
Posted
![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
David
also loves the ride. Be afraid, be very afraid...
No! Please say it isn't so!
The jedi remembers times past, and the agony of waiting for the "ride" to be over. It invariably broke down every time she accompanied small children to that Small World, and that awful music kept going on and on and on... It is surely of the Dark Side!!
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
|
Posted
Hey, lunch is about to leave! No way!
KenWritez bounds over and bites off RooK's head.
Hmmmm...tastes like chicken.
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
RooK's body pats at the severed neck, then starts cheerfully using sign language to say, "I'M FREE! I'M FREE!!!", then skips off through the fields.
A disembodied voice emanates from KenWritez's gullet.
Well, that bites. Dude, I'm like sooo going to get even. Just as soon as I learn to use my ears like fins I'm going to swim over to your spleen and gnaw it away.
...Whoa. I didn't know that you had four stomachs. Hey, is this Jimmy Hoffa over here?
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
|
Posted
Chast,
I now have this image of you (clad in leather and singing "It's a small world after all" under a giant disco ball) stuck in my head.
No offense, but I'm going to run screaming from the thread now.
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!
--------------------
"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
Not speaking from personal experience, mind you, but I understand that's a fairly accurate description.
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
|
Posted
Ya know what'd go good right now? A big plate of roasted garlic and some Diet Coke.
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
saysay, I love how RooK's decapitation doesn't bother you,but Chastmastr at a disco does.
Kelly//at least it wasn't a vital organ...
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
Oh good. There's some hope that this mostly-gravy stomach fluid will get diluted a bit.
Um, have you been dreaming about eating giant marshmallows, and waking up to find pillows missing? Seriously, big fella, you've got to learn to chew. It's bad enough to be stuck in here with soggy bedding, but I really didn't need to see the Hello Kitty patterns on the covers.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
|
Posted
Lost in a reverie of dancing bears, E-rides, pretty girls and pirates, the droid wakes late to the clanging evac alarm. Frantically scanning the clearing below for a lock on the anthropologist, he realizes in horror that there are several coordinate points!
Sweet Sarky in the morning! Too late! He's been dismembered and parts scattered! Sobbing into the transporter controls, he advances levers to retrieve the scattered body. I've failed...what punishment awaits back in Hell?
The T-deck shimmers as a dopplered whine builds. With great effort the disparate parts are pulled into the ship and condensed. Recovered! The blinding glow subsides as the droid rushes forward...
An unspeakable abomination thrashes about on the deck. Part human, part bunny, part cat...a nightmarish morass of exposed organs and weirdly interwoven bits of chocolate! Where it's head should be is an unmistakeable human stomach... regurgitating and repeatedly sucking up it's own bile!
The droid steels himself to complete the mission and bring the quivering pile of Hellhost back home. Perhaps we can rebuild him...make him better, faster... more hellish!
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
The jedi looks up at the antique space craft. It feels ..cold.. up there. Ah, the dark side chess piece has been transported up.
Bye!! Y'all come back now, y'hear?
The jedi goes off to look for the bovine Sarky creature. There is hope for that sweet being! And, she's an art lover, too.
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
saysay, I love how RooK's decapitation doesn't bother you,but Chastmastr at a disco does.
Kelly//at least it wasn't a vital organ...
Hey, I once taught small children. I can deal with blood and all other bodily fluids.
But "It's a Small World"? That's just cruel.
Besides, I'm sure RooK would be a lot happier and more pleasant to be around without his twisted brain...
Silly robot, putting the creature back together again.
--------------------
"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
|
Posted
Soon... soon my album will be here... soon... and I owe it all to this thread (and the other place I mentioned) for inspiring me to hunt it down once and for all...
--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity
Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
|
Posted
O, man! Thirty minutes after you've eaten a Hellhost, you're hungry again! ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
Silly robot, RooKs are for tricks... No, wait. I meant to say, Hellhosts taste great and they're less filling!
(Using eldritch powers, RooK reconstitutes himself. Then, winks at Gort and produces a pair of jedi panties.)
Hoo-AH! Who knew that Judy was into g-strings?
(High-fives Gort.)
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
|
Posted
The droid hangs the panties from the rearview mirror while cranking down the driver's side window of the saucer. With a glare of contempt (as contemptible as possible with a featureless visor) he shakes his fist at the heavenly crowd and shouts:
You will pay!!! You will ALL PAAAAYYYYYY !!!
[the alien craft backfires, belches smoke and chugs away into the sky]
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Hoo-AH! Who knew that Judy was into g-strings?
(High-fives Gort.)
Maybe they do know how to use those ticklers, after all.
--------------------
This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
Soon... soon my album will be here... soon... and I owe it all to this thread (and the other place I mentioned) for inspiring me to hunt it down once and for all...
You somehow know it's my birthday and are just trying to torture me, right?
--------------------
"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
The jedi is walking through the woods, enjoying the sweet air and the birdsong. Butterflies are flitting about. Bees are humming and small furry creatures bound along the warm ground. The jedi spies a ruby grapefruit tree. There's still a few grapefruit at the very top!
Now that would be the perfect snack right about now.
The jedi raises her hand to use the Force...
Oh, yes. Master Yoda suggested I should improve some of my physical skills and accuracy.
The jedi reaches into the pocket of her robe for the slingshot she keeps there. Then she tries some of her other pockets. Finally she looks in her boots.
Where is that slingshot? I know I had it when I left home. Didn't I?
The jedi looks up at the sound of backfiring engines in the sky. There, hanging from the rear view mirror of the antique spacecraft...she thinks it might be an Edsel...is her slingshot.
Those dirty pups!
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Ballad of Bilbo Baggins! ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Well, I guess I won't bring out the 
