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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: What is your favourite adult clean joke?
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Yam-pk
Shipmate
# 12791
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by GordonThePenguin:
A man walks into an East German department store and says to the assistant 'Have you no men's shoes?'.
The assistant replies, 'No. Here we have no kitchenware. No men's shoes is on the second floor'.
Ah the joys of German grammar ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Posts: 472 | From: The Grim North | Registered: Jul 2007
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
quote:
Originally posted by Traveller: Continuing the musical thread: Q. What is the difference between a violin and an onion? A. Nobody cries if you cut up a violin.
In a similar vein:
What's the difference between a church organist and an onion?
A: You cry when you stick a knife into an onion.
What's the difference between a church organist and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
(Both told by a vicar)
The second one is How Things Should Be. Most clergy haven't a clue about music and hymnody in my experience; they choose hymns according to a vague relationship between the theme of the Sunday readings and the first line of some awful dirge.
Organists have to play the damned things and know which ones are a joy and which ones leading the congregation through is like wading through syrup on a cold day because they're God-awful.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I liked this one from the Ship of Fools twitter link on the front page:
Minister: Today is the feast day of St Brigid, patron saint of dairy workers. All: Thanks Brie to God.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
An American political joke: my apologies to those in more civilized parts of the world who lack familiarity with some of the lower life forms.
What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and an ordinary skunk?
Rush Limbaugh wouldn't be caught dead in the middle of the road.
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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ChaliceGirl
Shipmate
# 13656
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Posted
Ahh, political jokes..
This one went aroud when George W. "Dubya" Bush was President:
Dubya was waiting for an elevator one day, and noticed a man to his right with a long white beard and robe to match, clutching a few stone tablets with his left arm and a staff with his right.
Dubya asked the man, "Say, aren't you Moses?"
The man ignored him and stared at the ceiling.
"Maybe he didn't hear me," Dubya muttered, and walked directly in front of the man.
"Say," Dubya repeated, "aren't you Moses?"
Again, the man ignored him and stared at the ceiling.
Now a bit confused, Dubya tugged on the man's robe, yelling, "Are you Moses?"
Finally, in an irritated tone, the man replied, "Yes, I am."
"Why didn't you answer me the first time?" Dubya asked.
Moses responded, "The last time I spoke to a Bush, I had to spend forty years in the desert..."
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The Episcopal Church Welcomed Me.
"Welcome home." ++Katharine Jefferts Schori to me on 29Mar2009.
My KJS fansite & chicksinpointyhats
Posts: 710 | From: Philadelphia, PA, USA | Registered: Apr 2008
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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
What is it called when you toss a bagpipe in the exact center of a dumpster?
Perfect pitch.
Perfect pitch is when you dumpster an accordion- and land it on a banjo...
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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard
Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004
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Stick Monitor
Apprentice
# 17253
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Posted
A rabbit walks into a pub and asks for the bar-food menu.
"I'll have a cheese toastie and a tuna toastie please"
The next day he does the same...
"I'll have a ham toastie and a chicken toastie please"
And again, the next day...
"I'll have a bean toastie and an egg toastie please"
And so on until the end of the week, after which he never returns.
One night, at midnight, exactly one year after the rabbit's last visit, the hideously deformed spectre of the rabbit floats through the door as the landlord is cleaning up.
"Is that you, rabbit? Where have you been all this time?" asked the landlord.
"I died" replied the rabbit.
"Oh, sorry to hear that. What did you die of?"
"Mixing my toasties."
Posts: 50 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2012
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
Oh, Mr Stick Monitor, that was a beauty ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
I have exhausted my joke supply . The tumbleweeds can stay locked away.
Just one more as a stocking-filler.....
Q . What did the grape say when it got trod on ?
A . Nothing . It just let out a little whine.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
< Pardon to all blondes , love you really >
Dumb blonde out driving her sports one day , and down come a load of hail-stones the size of tennis balls.
She takes the motor, covered in dents, to the nearest garage and is greeted by a couple of not very 'new men' who decide they can have a bit of fun .
"Can you fix this ?" she asks . "Well Madame" says one of the men , "We think the best thing you can do is take your car home and blow as hard as you can into that pipe there", (pointing to the exhaust pipe).
"That is a guaranteed way of popping the dents out", says the other.
So the lady obediently goes home and does as the men had advised .
Needless to say this does nothing at all, except smudge the lipstick and put a black ring around her mouth . Disappointed she goes to see her friend, who is also a dumb blonde, and tells the whole sorry story.
Her friend takes one look at the car, and laughing merrily says, "Oh my Dearest, blowing in that pipe was never going to make the dents come out".
"Why's that ?" comes the reply".
"You didn't shut the windows first".
You do realise that you can any joke on this lines by starting it "this eejit" or "this beautiful eejit" and it will still work ?
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
A Chinese man walks into a bar. It's very crowded and he accidentally spills a drink belonging to an elderly Jewish man. The Chinese man apologises, but the Jewish man is still angry, saying 'You Chinese are all the same - first Pearl Harbour, now this!' 'What are you talking about?' says the Chinese man, 'Pearl Harbour was the Japanese, not the Chinese'. The Jew shrugs and says, 'Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?'
'Well, you can talk,' says the Chinese man. 'It was the Jews that sank the Titanic.' The Jew says 'You're crazy - the Titantic was sunk by an iceberg!' So the Chinese man says 'Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceberg - what's the difference?'
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
That's terrible!
Today's joke (copyright K M Masser, 2013) is one I had been thinking about almost all month before I told it yesterday to a strange girl I met at work. She laughed, so here it is:
The late Al Davis, owner of the infamous Oakland Raiders of the NFL, decided to have a job fair to find a new coach as almost everyone since the great John Madden quit had failed miserably. Fifty candidates from all over the country, with backgrounds varying from Pop Warner to college to assistants on rival NFL teams, showed up. Mr. Davis said, "All right, raise your hands if you want to receive $40,000 every time the team wins." Fifty hands went up. "OK, now raise your hands if you want to give me $20,000 every time my team loses!" One hand, belonging to the Pop Warner coach at Clairbourn School in San Gabriel, went up. The other forty-nine passed out.
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
It might have been polite laughter Sir Kev.
Is telling jokes to strange girls at work a valid method of knowing whether a joke's any good ?
In fact, come to think of it, is it even legal these days ? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454
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Posted
Is this a joke that doesn't cross the pond?
Posts: 1905 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Yes, that would be the case. I do not know, nor have I composed, any humourous passages regarding my beloved THFC Spurs. I shall copy this one to the NFL thread!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275
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Posted
ABV is the current Spurs joke. YMMV.
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If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?
Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
How many drummers does it take to change lightbulb?
None. They have a machine to do that now.
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
Drummer goes into a music shop and browses for a while. Eventually he says: "I'd like the red trumpet and the white accordion". And the shop assistant says: "I'm sorry - I can't sell the fire extinguisher, and the radiator's bolted to the wall."
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
I just heard this one on National Public Radio's "Car Talk":
If quizzes are quizzical what are tests?
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
ABV is the current Spurs joke. YMMV.
Hey ! We won today!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
Q. What would you call Ghandi, knowing that he walked many miles on dusty roads without proper shoes, and his time on hunger strike left him weak; he hardly ever brushed his teeth.
A. A super-calloused, fragile mystic vexed with hallitosis.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
A man travels to Africa for a safari. When he disembarks the plane he notices drumming in the background. Curious, he asks the flight attendant. She replies, "Do not worry about the drums, worry when they stop." The next day, in the headed into the bush, he still hears the drums and asks the guide. The guide replies "Pay no attention while the drums play, worry when they stop." And on into the next day when, suddenly, the drums stop and the entire party cringes and huddles together. "What is happening!,"cries the man in panic. With a look of dread, the guide replies. "The drums have stopped. Time for the Bass solo."
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275
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Posted
What is the last thing to pass through a fly's mind when it hits the windscreen of a Ferrari?
It's arse.
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If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?
Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"The backstroke, sir."
"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"Don't worry. He won't eat much."
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Shhhhh! Everybody will want one!"
There you go. Three jokes, told on the fly...
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Starbug:
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
How many drummers does it take to change lightbulb?
None. They have a machine to do that now.
A singer-songwriter I know (who specializes in corny jokes while tuning her guitar) told this joke, although I don't recall if it was before or after she married her drummer:
Q: How can you tell if the platform is level under the drummer?
A: He's drooling out both sides of his mouth.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to go up the ladder and two to bitch about how it's far too high for her but they could do it easily.
How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, and no-one notices whether its done right or not.
Tenors been done upthread.
How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just look put-upon and get a tenor to do it.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
What is the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
The bull has horns at the front and an arsehole at the back.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
So a Hindu monk, a rabbi and a Baptist minister were going to an ecumenical conference. Late at night, the car they were driving broke down and they sought refuge at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer (who did NOT have a daughter--this ain't that kind of joke!) told them that they were welcome to stay the night but he only had room for two of them in the house and the third would have to stay in the barn
The Hindu said "No problem! I come from a poor area in my country and I am used to hardship. I am sure your barn will seem like a palace to me!" So he goes out to the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock at the door of the house. It's the Hindu. "I am so sorry! There is a cow in the barn. Cows are very sacred to me and it would not be appropriate for me to share sleeping quarters with such a sacred being."
The rabbi said: "Not to worry! My people, we were born to suffer! I will sleep in the barn!" He goes out. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door of the house. It's the rabbi. "I regret to say that there is a pig in the barn. A pig is an unclean animal and it would not be appropriate for me to sleep in the same spot with it."
The Baptist minister gives a heavy sigh. "Oh, very well," he said in a pompous tone. "Then I shall sleep in the barn." He goes out. A few minutes later, there is a knock at the door of the house. It's the cow and the pig...
[The version I learned used a Baptist minister, but feel free to substitute the denomination of your choice.]
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
A laywer would make a perfect substitution.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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redderfreak
Shipmate
# 15191
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Posted
Richard Dawkins?
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You know I just couldn't make it by myself, I'm a little too blind to see
Posts: 287 | From: Exeter | Registered: Sep 2009
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
My favourite one-liner, on reincarnation -
'Come back as a hyena, you're laughing'
Mrs. S,
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
Drummer goes into a music shop and browses for a while. Eventually he says: "I'd like the red trumpet and the white accordion". And the shop assistant says: "I'm sorry - I can't sell the fire extinguisher, and the radiator's bolted to the wall."
Did you hear about the bass player that locked the keys in his car?
He had to break the window to get the drummer out...
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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard
Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004
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Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a PE teacher?
An elephant in a track suit who can't do joined-up writing.
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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
It said on the news this morning that if you were travelling in icy weather you should take with you a shovel, a blanket, 24 hours' worth of food and water, extra warm clothing, a sleeping bag, a thermos of hot water, a radio to follow news reports and a mobile phone to be able to call for help.
I felt a bit of a prat getting on the No. 24 bus with that lot this morning ....'
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Traveller
Shipmate
# 1943
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Posted
Dai Jones sang for forty years in the chapel choir. First tenor, see?
Then Dai passed away and found himself in the queue for the pearly gates. Eventually, he reaches the front of the queue and the angel with the big book asks his name.
"Jones, Dai", replies Dai.
"Ah! Dai bach, come on in, you're just in time for choir practice!" says the angel.
So Dai finds himself in the heavenly choir, with St. Peter taking choir practice. Ten thousand sopranos, ten thousand altos, ten thousand basses. Dai Jones in the only tenor, see.
Dai has a wonderful time, singing away as he never did back in chapel.
After a little while, St. Peter stops the choir. "Can the tenors make a little less noise, please!"
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I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live:
I will praise my God while I have my being.
Psalm 104 v.33
Posts: 1037 | From: Wherever the car has stopped at the moment! | Registered: Dec 2001
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TomOfTarsus
Shipmate
# 3053
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Posted
What's with all the drummer jokes? I'd heard some of them as bagpiper jokes, to wit:
A piper suddenly remembered he'd left his car unlocked with his pipes in the back seat. He hurried back to his car, and found two more sets had been added...
(But I do have a wonderful coworker here who's also a drummer so.... ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif) thanks for the material!)
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By grace are ye saved through faith... not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ... ordained that we should walk in them.
Posts: 1570 | From: Pittsburgh, PA USA | Registered: Jul 2002
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
A dog, wearing a gun belt and a cowboy hat limps into a bar. He says to the bartender: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
Yeah, I didn't think it was that funny either.
How about this one?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dwane.
Dwane, who?
Dwane the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
(Rim shot!)
Okay, last one and then I'll shut up. No, really!
Why was the ink blot sad?
Because his father was in the pen and didn't know how long the sentence would be!
I'm here all week, folks! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dal Segno:
I have CDO.
It's like OCD except that the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be.
Did you hear about the new support group that's formed? D.A.M. -Mothers Against Dyslexia!
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Darllenwr
Shipmate
# 14520
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Posted
Like Sioni's offering upthread, this is not so much a joke as a rag week prank. I was told of it by an ex-student from Aberystwyth who was adamant it was true.
A group of students were walking into Aberystwyth when they came upon a group of council workmen digging up the road.
There is a moment of inspiration and one of the students approaches the Foreman.
"You know it's rag week?"
"Yes; what about it?"
"Well, we thought you ought to know that there's a group of students coming this way, dressed as Policemen - they're going to try to move you on."
"Oh! Right. Thanks"
The scene shifts to the public desk of the local Police Station. The student is now talking to the duty Sergeant.
"You know it's rag week?"
"Yes; what about it?"
"Well, we thought you ought to know that, as a rag week stunt, there's a group of students dressed as council workmen digging a hole in the road ..."
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If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: I do not exaggerate!
Posts: 1101 | From: The catbox | Registered: Jan 2009
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
A dog, wearing a gun belt and a cowboy hat limps into a bar. He says to the bartender: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
Yeah, I didn't think it was that funny either.
How about this one?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dwane.
Dwane, who?
Dwane the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
(Rim shot!)
Okay, last one and then I'll shut up. No, really!
Why was the ink blot sad?
Because his father was in the pen and didn't know how long the sentence would be!
I'm here all week, folks!
I know some fourth graders who'd love these.
As did I. Sometimes I'm in the mood for some awful groaners. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by geroff:
"What's brown and sticky?"
"A stick."
or "A brownie".
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Darllenwr:
Like Sioni's offering upthread, this is not so much a joke as a rag week prank.
What in the world is Rag Week?
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
It's an annual event - a week in which University students do various things to raise money for charity. For example, collecting on the streets in fancy dress, publishing a "Rag Mag" full of jokes, doing some daft sponsored event etc etc etc.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
quote:
Originally posted by Darllenwr:
Like Sioni's offering upthread, this is not so much a joke as a rag week prank.
What in the world is Rag Week?
Apropos Rag Mag jokes, these were usually filthy and the filthiest came from the Rugby Club and the Women's Society.
You might get Rag Week stories here, but you won't get many Rag Week jokes.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Cthulhu
PRAY TO BE EATEN FIRST
# 16186
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Posted
Q. WHAT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?
A. A NUN ON A MEAT HOOK.
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I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL. Nothing personal.
Posts: 78 | From: R'lyeh | Registered: Jan 2011
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Ah. I thought this was going to be "What is black and white and read all over?" to which the answer is "a newspaper". Only it isn't always true because most people only read the bits of a newspaper they like.
I think we still have a Circus. They might want some gags for their clowns, though their clowns might gag at some of these.
Ariel
Heaven ****
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by TomOfTarsus:
(But I do have a wonderful coworker here who's also a drummer so.... thanks for the material!)
Q: How do you know a drummer's at your door?
A: The knocking keeps getting faster.
Q: How do you get the drummer to go away?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...
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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard
Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Oh for fuck's sake, not the drummer jokes. I ain't readin' this shit. Look, we used to have a whole board devoted to good jokes; where did we go wrong?
Thread CLOSED
Ariston, Master and Commander
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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