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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: The Soap Opera
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Joan Rasch
Shipmate
# 49
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by sabine:
<music swells>
"I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy...."
* mutters in corner, I *will not* get involved in this thread *
Joan [former Nativity Equity Deputy] Rasch
[ ;-) ]
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* A cyclist on the information bikepath
Posts: 509 | From: Boston, MA USA | Registered: May 2001
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Arrietty
Ship's borrower
# 45
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Posted
<enter Arrietty>
Arrietty: The name's Retty. Arri Retty.
<produces card from trench coat pocket>
Stoo: <reading laboriously> "In the event of my finishing my training, I do not wish to be a woman priest."
Arrietty: Yes, I have seen the light. All I want to do now is womanly things like stroke my cushion covers and decorate my kittens with chain stitch. Oh, hang on, I might have go that the wrong way round.
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i-church
Online Mission and Ministry
Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Icarus/Coot: The hills are alive.. aaaahhh
Stoo < shocked > : This is worrying!
Dr Multipara: We'll have to call the consultants.
Dr Mr Grumble: Siegfried, MerseyMike, St Sebastian!
Siegfried < sighing and tutting > : It's alright darling. I know for a fact that he *hates* Wizard of Oz. < rolls eyes at other consultants > Rx: 1 playstation.
<MerseyMike drops playstation on top of Coot/Ick who falls into a smiling, peaceful sleep>
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
<Elsewhere in the building>
Tigglet: That's $600, Mr Chastmastr. And you get 6 guaranteed introductions, with at least 1 snog per introduction.
Chastmastr: It's just that. Well I... I wanted something a little different.
Tigglet: Oh! < wink > Say no more, ay! < nudge >
<Scene cuts to Tigglet talking to 2 secretaries. In the background can be seen Medics, Stoo, Smudgie, Coot/Maria von Trapp and assorted Theological students, Rabbit-lovers and others>
Tigglet: Go orn luv, join up. 'S free for the ladies.
Ariel: What do you fink I am? Some kinda strumpet?
Nanny Ogg: Ooooh pet! You wanna be careful ya know. I heard a lotta nasty things about those Dating Agencies.
Ariel: You expect me to stand on 2 melons with a gerbil down me blouse singing 'Land of Hope and Glory'?
Tigglet: Orrrr come on, luv, there's 50 bucks innit for ya.
Ariel: 'Ow dare you! I am not some cheap hussy who'll have it away with a strange bloke for $50!
Tigglet: Naaarrr. Nuffink like that. Jus' a peck on the cheek. Then leave 'im with the gerbil and melons. Honest!
<Ariel and Nanny Ogg look at each other>
Tigglet: C'morrn. I'll make it $100.
<Ariel and Nanny Ogg in chorus> : You're on!
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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sabine
Shipmate
# 3861
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Posted
Maria von Trapp: Someone always has to come back from the dead in a soap.
When the plot gets around to it, I want to be someone's long lost twin who has been washed up on a remote island with amnesia and cared for by a fisherman who is really the heir to a fortune but has chosen to come back to this thread only when I can regain my memory of...of...
<contract discussions, agent asks for more money and better story lines>
and then I regain my memory of...of...
<music, commercial, preferably for ginkgo biloba>
sabine
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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano
Posts: 5887 | From: the US Heartland | Registered: Dec 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
[ ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) to last two posts ]
< Meanwhile, at the Control Center >
Belisarius: ...It was inevitable they would escape through one of the tangents. No matter. As long as Stoo is there "supervising," the Admins won't pay too much attention.
Ah, Icarus Coot--you could have been a worthy adversary, but now you will go the way of the others. Soon there will be a new Heaven.
Now--to bump up their thread--Sarkycow will decimate it for me and not even realize I should be billed...
[ 09. January 2003, 04:04: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
< Scurrying sound followed by a voice from a heating vent >: I can't believe you're sacrificing Coot like this! When did you become so cold-blooded?
Belisarius: Sheila??
Sheila: Who else?
< the hamster springs onto Belisarius's desk >
Belisarius: You're not supposed to come here--the Admins would have my head for letting a fictional character into here.
Sheila: Coot named me, you heartless bastard!
Belisarius: Sheila, just look at what he's become! What would you have me do?
Sheila: Right--he's only a broken tool to be thrown away.
Belisarius: Don't be so naive. Loyalty counts for nothing in Heaven.
Sheila < calmly >: Bel...when will my turn come?
Belisarius: STOP IT!! < voice breaking > It's for you that I'm doing all this < tenderly strokes Sheila's back with his index finger >...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Belisarius: "Now, to finalize my plans for total world domin--"
<SFX: Vigorous pounding on the door.>
Belisarius: "--shun, what the Hell is it NOW? Coot, go see who it is!"
The Coot shuffles off to the door, rearranging his hump, which makes a suspicious squeak whenever he moves.
<SFX: Door pounding continues.>
Icarus/The Coot: "Just a moment, just a moment!"
Icarus/The Coot fumbles at the knob and swings open the door to reveal Kenwritez standing there, bald head, fluffy beard, nice teeth clamped around an unlit cigar stub, wearing a tatty blue robe and bright orange Garfield (tm) fuzzy slippers.
Kenwritez: "Damn it, how'm I supposeda finish cooking my Lobster Thermidor avec Bechamel Sauce and Oeuvre Fromage avec Parsley et Pomme Fritte and Shrimp Cocktail with all this noise up here?"
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
< Flashback ends >
Belisarius: Ah, yes, those were the days--even back then Coot had a genius for character acting. He even converted the hump to a double entendre on the Dating--dammit, Sheila, don't try to weaken me! When it is all over, you'll thank me!...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
< meanwhile... >
Stoo: I have to warn the Admins--but I can't leave Icarus here in this state! Belisarius is just waiting to declare him unfit for hosting! If only I could trust someone enough to relay the message < gazes soulfully > or maybe borrow someone's cell phone < gazes soulfully some more >...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Smudgie: Please, Pyx_e, you have join me in helping Stoo--
Pyx_e: That wanker?? I don't think so!
Smudgie: But Heaven's in trouble!
Starbelly < suddenly appearing >: It is as I feared then!
Smudgie: It's Former Host Starbelly!
Starbelly: Yes--Pyx_e, now is the time to think of the Greater Good...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
<Camera focusses on Stoo his face strained with deep concern for Heaven. Suddenly there is a swell of music a la triumphant angelic choirs as Heaven opens. Enter the Revd Anselmina animatedly discussing theology with the Revd Amos>
The Revd Anselmina: Can I be of some assistance?
Stoo: I must alert the admins, but I have to guard Icarus Coot so he doesn't fall into the hands of the Enemy - we 3 are required: The One of Absolute Good, The One of Absolute Evil and... uh.. The Coot - no one must gain the upper hand or Heaven's very fabric will be torn asunder.
The Revd Anselmina: Why, let us wait here then. I'm sure we will be more than a match for anyone that comes along.
Ms Rosencrantz: No! A woman priest!
The Revd Amos: 2 actually.
Ari Retty: And a theological student.
The Revd Amos < to Anselmina > : You might want to apply the aspergillium.
The Revd Anselmina: Good thinking. < sprinkles Icarus Coot >
Ari Retty: At least it didn't sizzle.
Icarus Coot < stirring > : What is this dew that falls from Heaven and what art thou fair creature of unearthly beauty?
The Revd Anselmina: A woman priest.
Icarus Coot: Ahhhhhhh! <recovering> Then I want only to be ministered to by women priests ever after. <faints with delight>
Ms Rosencrantz: He does tend to do the sleeping, unconscious, fainting thing a fair bit.
Ari Retty: That's how it is with Heaven's Himbos. Not very verbal so they hafta sit around looking pretty.
Stoo: To the Admins!
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
It's no good - I'm going to have to turn off. ![[Frown]](frown.gif) Never could cope with too much reality TV. Somebody let me know when the angelic fluffy bunnies are back on again........ ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
(oops, I think those last 2 posts should have been the other way round....... must be quicker with the post button next time) ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
It's no good - I'm going to have to turn off. Never could cope with too much reality TV. Somebody let me know when the angelic fluffy bunnies are back on again........
I'm needed elsewhere this morning.
But never fear. I'll be back! ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Fr Fiddleback < enters pursuing women priests > : Ladies, it's not the validity of your orders that concerns me. It's just that there are Priests. And Priestesses. And Bishopesses. And Sacristanas. And I don't care so long as you all wear mantillas when you come to my little Pile. In fact, if you all put them on now, I'd be ever so chuffed. <leers at them>
<Ari Retty gives him a withering look>
Fr Fiddleback: Erm. It's the language I care about! The masculine and feminine forms of nouns are falling into obsolescence - I am the last bastion against verbal anarchy! It grieves me so greatly that I now use Latin almost exclusively. Ave.
Ari Retty: Look. Why don't you be useful and make us all a cup of tea?
Fr Fiddleback: Yes ma'am.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
Fr. Fiddleback: how many sugars ma'am?
Ari Retty: two please
Fr. Fiddleback: here yo-------
another gunshot is heard and Viola staggers in with a tea towel held to her leg..
Viola: that man is a madman...he shot an admin...i have to find erin to tell her that she is in dan-----
Viola looses conciousness, perhaps forever.
will erin get warned in time?
who shot Viola?
is it the same person who shot ick or a copycat criminal?
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
Stoo: Nooo! Not Viola too! And she was so good to me...
ChrisT: Awww, c'mon, Stoo, spill the beans, what's the secret?
Stoo: ChrisT, this is neither the time, nor the place. There is a madman on the loose. We must find him!
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This space left blank
Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001
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ChrisT
One of the Good Guys™
# 62
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Posted
<scene switches to ChrisT and Stoo, outside a chip shop>
ChrisT: Look, I'm not sure what's going on here,
but you need to tell her.
Stoo: But it's so ... difficult
ChrisT: I know mate, look - you can crash round at mine if you need to
<interrupted by scuffling and shouting down the road>
Stoo: Hey, isn't that Icarus/Coot scuffling and shouting with Belisarius, who appears to be protecting a woman priest. What's going on?
ChrisT: I don't know, but let's put the boot in, I mean go and help!
<they run towards the kerfuffle>
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Firmly on dry land
Posts: 6489 | From: Here, there and everywhere | Registered: May 2001
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Arrietty
Ship's borrower
# 45
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Posted
<Father Cosmo appears from the chip shop, clutching a cone of chips>
Father Cosmo: Let me through, I'm in Holy Orders.
Stoo: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. <falls over giggling uncontrollably>
ChrisT: Can I have a chip? I'll work off the calories later. It's 4.5 minutes on my treadmill.By the way, I'm not available.
Father Cosmo: Would a father give his child a stone? Will I give you a chip?
<Belisarius dashes over>
Beliarius: Quick, keep me covered, I'm going in!
<enters chip shop>
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i-church
Online Mission and Ministry
Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Arrietty:
Beliarius: Quick, keep me covered, I'm going in!
<enters chip shop>
...and is greeted by a scene reminiscent of Dante's Inferno ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Belisarius: What the...?? O mi ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif) !
From the infernal regions behind the counter, wreathed in smoke and liberally be-splattered with chip fat, emerges.....
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
[UBB Code edited]
[ 09. January 2003, 14:34: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Belisarius: OK, OK, SARKYCOW! I'LL GIVE YOU THE BONUS TOO! JUST SEND ME AN INVOICE!
: That's more like it! < redescends >
< Belisarius races back to the Control Center and collapses panting >
Sheila: Did you just shoot Viola??
Belisarius: That was Viola?? ****** ***** **** **** ***** *****!! I thought it was a hacker--those fools are distracting me TOO MUCH!!
Sheila: Then you didn't shoot Coot either--I didn't want to believe it--I'm so relieved!
Belisarius: Of course I didn't! Dammit--I have to find out who did for the Admins sooner or later! So many things to do!
Sheila: Please, Bel--you can still stop this madness!
Belisarius: NEVER!--this is what I'm fighting--
< plays PM Message > "I want to complain about member 4152/Pickachu using a Thesaurus to cheat at Word Association..."
Sheila: ...I see your point...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
somewhere in the background an orchestra starts playing an eerie tune....
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Smudgie < wringing hands >: Who else will help us?
Starbelly: Fear not...
< Rings a tinkly bell--in the distance is heard the rumbling of many bunny feet... >
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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heathen mama
Shipmate
# 3767
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Posted
Ick/Coot/Maria straightens skirt, hoists guitar and sings:
"Seven-page limits and smart epic poems,
shipmates with whisky and Dutch master paintings,
Mystery worshipers, long fishing string,
These are a few of my favorite things."
Stoo, trying hard not to look shocked, remarks on the Coot's lovely singing voice.
[Edit: Commandment breaching material removed]
[ 09. January 2003, 16:21: Message edited by: Icarus Coot ]
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I shaved my armpits for *this*?
Posts: 569 | From: the first state | Registered: Dec 2002
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heathen mama
Shipmate
# 3767
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Posted
Just then, a commercial comes on as network executives realize that they just put a scene on which should have followed the end of the first page, but which has nothing whatsoever to do with what is now happening in the story line.
Show's producer looks at bumbling intern and makes "throat slashing" gesture. Intern flees.
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I shaved my armpits for *this*?
Posts: 569 | From: the first state | Registered: Dec 2002
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Arrietty
Ship's borrower
# 45
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Posted
Viola: Arrrgh - mmmnergh - where am I?
<Gets to her feet to general astonishment>
Smudgie: Viola! You're OK! But-but we thought - Oh thank God!
Viola: Yes, you thought I was done for Smudgie. And I would have been except for this!
<Gets very old copy of When Clergymen Ruled the Earth out of breast pocket>
Viola: I always carry it next to my heart. But you didn't know that, did you - SHEILA!
Sheila: Damn you! How did you know?
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i-church
Online Mission and Ministry
Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Belisarius: Excuse me, but I shot Viola in the leg, and Sheila is right here with me. I mean, really... < puts pinky to side of mouth and strokes Sheila a la Mr. Bigglesworth... >
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Starbelly: Now who's the Alpha bunny?
Miffy: That would be me!
Pyx_e < finishing reading text messages > Good news! The crack MW contingent has joined forces with Stoo! We can all pool our resources together, as long as the bunnies have the proper baptismal certificates...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
Smudgie < wringing hands >: Who else will help us?
Starbelly: Fear not...
< Rings a tinkly bell--in the distance is heard the rumbling of many bunny feet... >
as the Heavenly choir bursts into:
Miffy's Song
![[Love]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
Starbelly: Now who's the Alpha bunny?
Miffy: That would be me!
Pyx_e < finishing reading text messages > Good news! The crack MW contingent has joined forces with Stoo! We can all pool our resources together, as long as the bunnies have the proper baptismal certificates...
Oops! Sorry to cross-post Belisarius. Took me longer to sort that link than I'd envisaged!
[No problem, Miffy]
[ 11. January 2003, 00:51: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
<The Consultants are alarmed at the inefficacy of their remedy>
St Sebastian: Your Rx didn't work, Girlfriend.
Siegfried: So you've got a better idea have you? <Angrily pulls out lip gloss and begins applying it> Whispers: Medico 'ho!
St Sebastian: The Xbox if you please, MerseyMike darling. And put his fingers on the controls this time.
MerseyMike: Ewwwww. Do I have to touch the nasty little breeder boy? <Arranges the controller in Icarus Coot's hand>
<Siegfried and St Sebastian distastefully take a closer look>
Siegfried: Yes, all better now. I just can't bear Julie in the wrong hands.
<The Consultants clack off>
Icarus Coot: How horrible, what a terrible dream. I must rush out and do something revolting and blokey to assert my manhood.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Viola
Administrator
# 20
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Posted
I only passed out because of the sight of the blood issuing forth from my leg.
Then I thought I'd have a wee nap and a dozy listen to you all regretting my demise.
That cartoon book in my pocket eventually revived me by simply smelling so darned old and musty. It's only out of loyalty to the old Captain that I keep it with me.
Ah - those were the days.......
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"If ye love me, keep my commandments" John 14:15
"Commandment number one: shut the hell up." Erin Etheredge 1971-2010
Posts: 4345 | From: West of England | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
random orchestra in the background starts playing 'Some Enchanted Evening' for no reason...
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
< Ick/Coot is about to leap away to chase after Stoo, the Revds Anselmina and Amos tackle him and tie him with chains of adamant >
Ick/Coot: Dear Ladies! Why are you restraining me?
The Revd Anselmina: It's for your own good--you just had a relapse and the Consultants had to be called back. You must stay here until you are completely recovered.
Ick/Coot: But I have to warn the Admins before Stoo does! Otherwise he'll get all the Brownie Points!
The Revd Amos: That is not our concern--you think too much of Wordly Ambition--
Ick/Coot: Aw, c'mon...
[Typo]
[ 09. January 2003, 19:05: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
the society for prevention of cruelty to fluffy bunnies also works to safeguard hamsters. i see that there is a hamster here, known as shiela, who seems to be currently clutched in the sweaty grasp of a human. this must cease immediatly!!!!
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Chorister turns on TV set and tunes into 'H' channel, breathing a sigh of relief as she realises the bunnies have returned. Ah good, this is 'safe' TV...........
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Joyeux
Ship's Lady of Laughter
# 3851
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Icarus Coot:
Icarus Coot: How horrible, what a terrible dream. I must rush out and do something revolting and blokey to assert my manhood.
with this thought now upper-most in mind, Icarus/Coot runs into Tigglet's Dating Agency
Ic: how many women can I take out at once?
Tigg: 'ow bigs' your budget?
<time lapse, scene change; Ic/Coot and 37 women, bunnies, theology students, undercovers, hamsters, dolphins, and postage stamps are sharing an intimate dinner>
Ic: As special as this evening has been, I must tell you... you remind me of my last girlfriend... the dead one. Because of this remembrance, we need to stop seeing each other. It's too painful.
after a good-bye kiss, Icarus/Coot goes whistling down the street
[Fantasy Sequence code edited]
[ 09. January 2003, 21:19: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
Posts: 4318 | From: over th... no, there! | Registered: Dec 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Revd Anselmina: Icarus, can you remember who shot you? The authorities should know!
Ick/Coot: I'm sorry, I can't...I had left Belisarius, but then all I remember is...oh no, the Cinctures! The Cinctures! The Cinctures were strangling me! And they weren't even the right color!! < breaks down >
Revd Anslemina: There, there...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Revd Amos: A few minutes ago, he had some sort of dream involving excessive, shall we say, dating. He is definitely not well yet.
Revd Anselmina: Godspeed to our brave Stoo...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Viola < in the process of leaving a message for Erin >: That wasn't like Bel at all...Oops, Stoo's already left to relay the message personally--oh well, a little exercise won't hurt the dear boy...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Belisarius < gazing abstractedly at screens > All those thousands of users oblivously posting away...even now only a few are aware of the great change to happen... < cue eerie music >
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Stoo < valiantly jogging >: I hope I make it in time to save Heaven...to save Smudgie--no, Stoo! you are a Host, she is a poster--it would never work out...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Starbelly: Now, the element of surprise for us is crucial. I suspect that Belisarius has been secretly using Hellhosts to do his dirty work--
Smudgie: How horrible!!
Starbelly: Yes, and a very rash risk for any extended period--but at the moment he can unleash great power against us. Bunnies--can you evade Heaven's more routine detection processes?
Miffy: It depends whether or not there's chocolate around!
< Bunnies erupt into chorus of giggles >
Starbelly: C'mon, let's get serious here!...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Miffy: Detection processes! What detection processes?
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
brightens
Miffy: Though if chocolate is on offer - I'm your bunny! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) (In the culinary sense of word mind you, Starbelly. I'm not that kind of fluffy bunny. ![[Wink]](wink.gif) )
[Edit: Oop. It was Starbelly]
[ 10. January 2003, 00:16: Message edited by: Icarus Coot ]
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Take the chocolate ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
or open the box
Take the chocolate
or open the box
chorister (the audience of one) bounces up and down on the settee, shouting to the TV: 'Take the chocolate! ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif) Take the chocolate!'
(note to any under 25s in this performance - you have to be over 40 to understand this gameshow reference)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Starbelly: Good Grief! Was I with you that whole length of time and you learnt nothing? Now Miffy. This is Heracles. <Starbelly produces a Lambchop-like sock puppet> Say 'Hello' to Heracles.
Miffy: Hello, Heracles!
Starbelly <using ventriloquist technique> : Hello, Miffy! Hello Heaven's Fluffy Bunny Army.
Starbelly <As himself> : Miffy, as you remember, Heracles had the task of searching out new hosts for Heaven. Watch and learn.
Starbelly <to Heracles> : Heracles, Go! Sniff out the host!
Heracles Sock Puppet: *snif* *snif*
Starbelly: Viola, over here!
Viola: Can't you see I'm busy. Oh, well. I am only recovering from a gunshot wound you know.
Starbelly: Right.Now.
Viola <grumbling> : Just because I owe you one for those interminable Party threads.
Starbelly < to Heracles > : Sic 'em, Heracles! < makes swooping movement with glove puppet and fastens its little rabbit jaws around Viola's neck>
Viola < unenthusiastically > : ..Ah...Ah..
Starbelly: Right Miffy, right bunnies! Did you see that? Go! Crawl over everyone you see and sniff out WHO SHOT ICARUS COOT!
Miffy: Starbelly, Sir?
Starbelly <impatiently>: YES?!
Miffy: May we tickle them while we swarm all over them? <bunnies break out in chorus of giggles>
Starbelly: If you must! Find who shot Coot, bunnies. And I shall give you Cadbury's Creme Eggs all round and personally host your very own party thread!
Miffy & Bunny Army: Yaaaay!!!!!
[Edit: Changed host name for smoother story developmnt]
[ 10. January 2003, 00:54: Message edited by: Icarus Coot ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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WorkInProgress
Shipmate
# 3597
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Posted
*The two random passers-by are back - still wearing the same t-shirts and shorts, but having swopped Jesus-sandals for wellington boots*
1st PB: Who's that over there with The Coot?
2nd PB: Well, they're wearing dog collars of some sort... <strains to see> and two of them have got big A's on their robes, but I dunno could be anyone really...
1st PB: If it's Anselmina and Amos and co, we're only waiting for -
*Chris T steams onto the screen and hurtles towards the group huddled around Icarus/The Coot*
1st PB: <in shock, reverentially> Mr T!!!!! Now the 'A' Team's complete!
*The relevant theme tune swells from the invisible orchestra. The shot pans round the crowd near Icarus/The Coot. When the shot returns to the extras, they have swopped T-shirts and are being mobbed by small, seemingly-vicious rabbits, possibly python-esk, but more likely miffy-esk*
2nd PB: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!
1st PB: They're more ferocious than the word associations! And last longer!
2nd PB: <having successfully freed both of them> Quick! This way!
*The two passers-by run out-of-shot quickly, leaving the camera to focus on a certain small group which has now been surrounded by fluffy bunnies with sharp teeth*
Icarus: <rising once more from his virtual delerium> Quick! Somebody call the 'A' Team! Only they can tell us who framed Roger Rabbit! <He relapses into the semi-coma>
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Madkaren reckons I should quit lurking and start posting...
Posts: 349 | From: The middle of the road... | Registered: Nov 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
D'you mean I pay my licence for this ?
Goodness, what drivel they put on the box nowadays. Not quality TV like good old Coronation Street........
Chorister sits down to write 'disgusted of Cream Tealand' letter to whom it may concern at the BBC, about the poor quality of Heavenly Soaps.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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