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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Why does Tori Amos suck so much?
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Does the carpet match the drapes?
( Sorry, RooK was being too nice.)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Which set of drapes? Her hair colour has changed so much over the years.
No, she's not a natural redhead.
NEXT!
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I love you, man.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
I love it when Hell gets all All Saints-y.
Wait, no I dont. You guys fucking suck.
[edited because the iPad is fucking stupid]
[ 03. January 2015, 23:34: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
[edited because the iPad is fucking stupid]
Yeah, blame the tools.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Yes, there are indeed two tools in this situation.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
We are all God's tools, some are bigger tools than others.
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
St. Francis said that, right?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
[edited because the iPad is fucking stupid]
Yeah, blame the tools.
I will. Stupid piece of incredible technology that even 20 years ago would have been dismissed as impossible magik. Why can't it know exactly what I actually want to type?
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
Why can't it know exactly what I actually want to type?
As far I as I know apple do not program ipads to self-lobotomise and therefore achieve the parity required for your request.
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
My my, somebody's cranky this evening.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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irish_lord99
Shipmate
# 16250
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
Why can't it know exactly what I actually want to type?
As far I as I know apple do not program ipads to self-lobotomise and therefore achieve the parity required for your request.
That feature will be on the iPad 6, which will be released 5 weeks after the iPad 5.
Though I must agree with Marvin, I'm still amazed when I pick up my old iPod touch 3rd gen: so 'old' by new apple standards and yet so amazing when compared to our old Apple IIe.
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"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Mark Twain
Posts: 1169 | From: Maine, US | Registered: Feb 2011
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
But does Tori Amos have one?
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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I don't know if Tori Amos has an Apple. <deleted joke about having a cherry>
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
Who the heck is Tori Amos?
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
Who the heck is Tori Amos?
She's the one I keep confusing with Alanis Morissette, as in:
"Wasn't that by... no, hang on, that was Alanis Morissette."
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Porridge:
But does Tori Amos have one?
She's known among fans for having limited technological literacy. However, this year she suddenly discovered the usefulness of her Facebook account to an extent never before imagined. The photos came thick and fast.
Come to think of it, having a teenage daughter has probably made a difference. She now has someone to teach her this stuff.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
Who the heck is Tori Amos?
Who the heck are you?
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Porridge:
But does Tori Amos have one?
She's known among fans for having limited technological literacy. However, this year she suddenly discovered the usefulness of her Facebook account to an extent never before imagined. The photos came thick and fast.
So, you're claiming to have essentially witnessed the popping of her internet cherry?
You Tori Amos fans are fucking creepy.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
Who the heck is Tori Amos?
She's the one I keep confusing with Alanis Morissette, as in:
"Wasn't that by... no, hang on, that was Alanis Morissette."
Dude. Even for Hell, that is way harsh.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
Who the heck is Tori Amos?
She's the one I keep confusing with Alanis Morissette, as in:
"Wasn't that by... no, hang on, that was Alanis Morissette."
Dude. Even for Hell, that is way harsh.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Also, Tori Amos has never played the part of God.
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442
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Posted
But she has been a tree! (In Stardust - the book or maybe the comic, I think rather than the film)
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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese
Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Porridge:
But does Tori Amos have one?
She's known among fans for having limited technological literacy. However, this year she suddenly discovered the usefulness of her Facebook account to an extent never before imagined. The photos came thick and fast.
So, you're claiming to have essentially witnessed the popping of her internet cherry?
You Tori Amos fans are fucking creepy.
So, RooK, ever helped your mother come to grips with a piece of new-fangled technology?
Pervert.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Alanis was great as God. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
So, RooK, ever helped your mother come to grips with a piece of new-fangled technology?
My mom lives as a hermit in a cabin on a mountain in the middle of nowhere since dad died - so, uh, nope.
Wait, does your mom know that you've secretly replaced her with awkwardly-imagined stalking of Tori Amos?
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
I suspect this line of attack is remarkably ineffective on a gay man, but your ideas aren't coherent enough for me to be certain.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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George Spigot
Outcast
# 253
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Posted
Thanks for that image OP I'll use it later.
Posts: 1625 | From: Derbyshire - England | Registered: May 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
I just noticed that this thread wasn't discreetly killed during the last Hell-cull.
THREAD NECROMANCY!
Not for any good reason, mind you. Rather the opposite.
Would this be a good place to explain in a completely tone-deaf and baseless way my personal definition of free speech that I expect everybody else to automatically accept?
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
I just noticed that this thread wasn't discreetly killed during the last Hell-cull.
THREAD NECROMANCY!
Not for any good reason, mind you. Rather the opposite.
Would this be a good place to explain in a completely tone-deaf and baseless way my personal definition of free speech that I expect everybody else to automatically accept?
It's a better place than any, barring a new, bizarre, game in The Circus.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Would this be a good place to explain in a completely tone-deaf and baseless way my personal definition of free speech that I expect everybody else to automatically accept?
No. No, it wouldn't. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
I just noticed that this thread wasn't discreetly killed during the last Hell-cull.
Of course not. You all gave me a cuddly chew-toy to play with, you're not having it back.
Haven't actually listened to any Tori for several weeks. I'm on a classical music binge. We can expand this thread to include my obsession with Vagn Holmboe, if you like.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Haven't actually listened to any Tori for several weeks. I'm on a classical music binge. We can expand this thread to include my obsession with Vagn Holmboe, if you like.
We'll stick to Tori Amos. We can pronounce Tori Amos for a start.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
As a Christian I probably should be all for resurrection, but this thread makes me think that some graves are perhaps best left unstirred.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
We'll stick to Tori Amos. We can pronounce Tori Amos for a start.
Ha. Bet you can't. A-moss, A-mose or A-mus?
And since when is pronunciation an issue in a text-based medium? You can type, can't you? Or is your keyboard somehow missing the letters required to write Vagn Holmboe?
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Ah-moose.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
We can expand this thread to include my obsession with Vagn Holmboe, if you like.
At this point, I'd burst into tears of joy just for listening to something other than fucking "Let It Go" one more fucking time.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) Oh, hell yes.
Cry me a river, I'm a preschool teacher. Multiply whatever you are enduring by 15*.
We had to hide the damn student- proclaimed "Elsa dress" ( a homemade blue princessy sort of thing a parent made) because the girls were fighting over it four at a time.
*rough estimate of current female student body.
[ 12. February 2015, 04:41: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Ah, I see. Google confirmed my suspicion as to where that title might come from...
...That film really has been incredibly successful, hasn't it? Turns out there was a whole untapped audience for a film which made girls the centre of attention for once. Who would've guessed?
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Ah, I see. Google confirmed my suspicion as to where that title might come from...
...That film really has been incredibly successful, hasn't it? Turns out there was a whole untapped audience for a film which made girls the centre of attention for once. Who would've guessed?
I assume FoxNews has already attacked it as lesbian socialist Nazi pro-abortion propaganda?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Yep.
I have to confess, it is hard to feel the sisterhood when the song is shrieked in your face 2000 times a day.
I will eventually watch the movie, but only after they have moved on to some other catchy Oscar winning tune.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
We made the mistake of allowing (even facilitating) purchase of the DVD. Our youngest can recite the lines of all the main characters by heart.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Tori would be a fan. Her daughter's a bit older though.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
Does that mean Tori is also anti-parent, like Disney?
Well, not quite like Disney - nobody can match the sheer scale of the anti-parent efforts. Between driving parents to suffer high-pitched pop tunes badly sung by overenthusiastic youngsters, and the parasitic leaching of resources to sate said rabid youngsters Disney-sourced urges, there are the insidious messages of dead parents in almost all their children's films.
Sick bastards.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Ah, I see. Google confirmed my suspicion as to where that title might come from...
...That film really has been incredibly successful, hasn't it? Turns out there was a whole untapped audience for a film which made girls the centre of attention for once. Who would've guessed?
I assume FoxNews has already attacked it as lesbian socialist Nazi pro-abortion propaganda?
It's loosely based on a story by Hans Christian Anderson, who was Danish.
You know how those Scandinavian countries are with their sneaky attempts to impose socialism and lesbianism and require every woman to have at least one abortion.
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"It's been a long day without you, my friend
I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"
"'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by saysay:
It's loosely based on a story by Hans Christian Anderson, who was Danish.
You know how those Scandinavian countries are with their sneaky attempts to impose socialism and lesbianism and require every woman to have at least one abortion.
Yes. I'm almost sure I've heard Megyn Kelly say exactly that.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Prester John
Shipmate
# 5502
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
We can expand this thread to include my obsession with Vagn Holmboe, if you like.
At this point, I'd burst into tears of joy just for listening to something other than fucking "Let It Go" one more fucking time.
I'll clue you in on something I discovered that will most likely ensure you won't have to hear that song ever again. This also works for Taylor Swift's Trouble as well. Apparently when Dad sings something it is no longer cool. So you need to sing the song, slightly off key and with exaggerated effort, every time it comes on. It won't happen right away but soon you will be told to stop and they won't play it in your presence anymore. It also provides the added bonus of embarrassing your children. You have to embrace the song in order to defeat it.
Posts: 884 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Feb 2004
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
She's 2.5, and has no concept of shame yet. Daddy's horrific singing just makes her squeal with renewed glee. She also has no concept of proportion, or decorum, and only uses her rudimentary empathy for manipulation. She's an itty-bitty, adorable, more-evil version of me. Except probably smarter than I am, like her mom.
I'm so doomed, the nation of Latveria sends me legal notices accusing me of copyright infringement.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
She's 2.5, and has no concept of shame yet. Daddy's horrific singing just makes her squeal with renewed glee. She also has no concept of proportion, or decorum, and only uses her rudimentary empathy for manipulation.
An ideal Shipmate if ever I saw one.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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