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» Ship of Fools   » Community discussion   » Hell   » Difficult relatives (Page 47)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Difficult relatives
Wesley J

Silly Shipmate
# 6075

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Thank you, Denizens of Hell (and assorted boards).

Much food for thought. - Like Schwarzenegger said: I'll be back.

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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)

Posts: 7181 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106

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Harrumph. One tiny message to say (getting the formalities out of the way) "how are the family?", followed by "I'm ill".

The problem is that messages aren't just messages, they're code for "come and look after me". DR might be ill, just as he might have been the preceding 8 million times. But it seems unlikely. What's hellish, though, is that I've wasted hours pondering whether to reply, and if so with what. And it's made me stroppy with the children. Pffft. To steal from the Handmaid's Tale, it's high time I got my fucking shit together.

Posts: 732 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338

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quote:
Originally posted by Jemima the 9th:
Harrumph. One tiny message to say (getting the formalities out of the way) "how are the family?", followed by "I'm ill".

The problem is that messages aren't just messages, they're code for "come and look after me". DR might be ill, just as he might have been the preceding 8 million times. But it seems unlikely. What's hellish, though, is that I've wasted hours pondering whether to reply, and if so with what. And it's made me stroppy with the children. Pffft. To steal from the Handmaid's Tale, it's high time I got my fucking shit together.

Agh.

This reminded me of my paternal grandmother, a narcissistic queen who perfected the passive-aggressive illness.

In a rare moment of insight my dad called her one morning and asked how she was. This, of course, was followed by long stream of sighing re imaginary ailments. Dad responded, "oh, that's too bad. I'd called to see if you wanted to join [my mom] & I to drive up the coast for brunch at [fancy upscale beachside inn]. Oh, well. we'll have to go without you..."

He cut off the sputtering to say they had to go to arrive before the brunch service ended.

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

Posts: 10802 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
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# 1468

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cliffdweller--

Bravo to your dad! LOL.

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

Posts: 17370 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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{{{{{Jemima}}}}}

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

Posts: 17370 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106

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Thank you, Golden Key.
cliffdweller, that is utter genius. I love it.

Posts: 732 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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I came across a Carolyn Hax advice column about trying very hard to get attention/affection from Difficult Relatives who will never give it, and coming to terms with that.

It resonated with me, and it might with you, too.

{{{{{Everyone with difficult relatives}}}}}

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?"--Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon"
--"I'm not giving up--and neither should you." --SNL

Posts: 17370 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged



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