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Source: (consider it) Thread: That's not my bishop - his tat is too lacy
beachcomber
Shipmate
# 17294

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5. That can't be my choir they are too tuneful, discrete, and barely noticeable before the grandeur of Iconostasis.


(And nearly all present a mere 1 1/2 hours into service !)

[ 03. September 2012, 19:45: Message edited by: beachcomber ]

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Helen-Eva:'This is all really interesting and intensely confusing stuff and I am now bewildered in a much more informed way than I was before.'

Posts: 144 | From: bagdad cafe | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505

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6. Those are my magnificent choir stalls, built for a choir of 50 - with just three choir members rattling around in them!

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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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That's not my thurible - it's only got a swing of ten feet from side to side.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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beachcomber
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# 17294

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That's not my antidoron its too small.

[ 08. September 2012, 16:54: Message edited by: beachcomber ]

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Helen-Eva:'This is all really interesting and intensely confusing stuff and I am now bewildered in a much more informed way than I was before.'

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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Sorry - I should have numbered this

no.1
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
That's not my thurible - it's only got a swing of ten feet from side to side.



--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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2. That's not my thurible, it's been used more than once in the last 15 years.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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3. That's not my thurible - I used mine for smoking haddock.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Baptist Trainfan
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# 15128

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4. That's not my thurible (suppresses horrified shudder) - we're BAPTISTS!
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kingsfold

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# 1726

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5. That's not my thurible - it's clean and not coated in several years worth of brown gunk
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Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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(6) That's my thurible. I made it myself out of tin cans using the instructions in the Sue Wallace book.

Tubbs

[ 10. September 2012, 11:46: Message edited by: Tubbs ]

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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1. That's not my altar, the bloodstains have vanished!

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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2. That's not my altar, it isn't made of wood.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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3. Not my altar, it hasn't got an ego.

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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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[nice one, Ariston!]

4. That isn't my altar, it's up against the wall.

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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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5. That's not my altar, it's been moved.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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6. That's my altar- Mavis has been left at it! [Biased]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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1. That's not my church, it's open!

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

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claret10

Ship's Paranoid Android
# 16341

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2. That's not my church it's got comfy seats

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Just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does

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ElaineC
Shipmate
# 12244

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3. That's not my church it's warm and draught free

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Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. John Erskine

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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4. That's not my church - the roof doesn't leak.

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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The Sainted Percy
Apprentice
# 17388

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5. That isn't my church, it's reredos is too Italianate!

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Every working man to have a minimum of four hundred a year and every beastly manufacturer who wanted to pay less to be hung.
High Toryism described by Ford Madox Ford

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Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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6. That's my church, there's loud manic laughter coming from the choir vestry!

1. That's not our bellringing team, they are scared of heights.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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2. That's not my bellringing team - they are drinking Lager

--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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claret10

Ship's Paranoid Android
# 16341

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3. That's not my bell ringing team they're too lively

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Just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does

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Morlader
Shipmate
# 16040

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4. That's not my bell-ringing team, they're at the service.

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.. to utmost west.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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5. That's not my bell ringing team, they're getting it right.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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6 That's my bellringing team - they've all got beards (including the men) and have no dress sense.

1 That's not my Church Treasurer - he's smiling

[ 03. November 2012, 14:56: Message edited by: Spike ]

--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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2. That's not my Church Treasurer, he's agreeing expenses.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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3. That's not my church treasurer, he's handing out gold coins.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Bean Sidhe
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# 11823

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That's not my church treasurer, he's making sure everyone can see what I'm giving!

--------------------
How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.


Danny DeVito

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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5. Not my church treasurer—she's not making another pledge drive/stewardship campaign speech that may last longer than the sermon.

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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6. Not my church treasurer - he's putting money in the collection.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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That's my church treasurer - he's busy working towards handing over to his successor!

1. That's not my vestry - it's far too big.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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2. That's not my vestry - it's warm in there

--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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3. Not my vestry—there are actually vestments in there, rather in the house of the Old Lady Who Can No Longer Drive, but has had them in her closet since before there was a church, and, now, be kind to her, she may give you the pink ones on All Souls, but we're all just fine with that because this is the church and we should be welcoming, and really, do any of us actually know the liturgical colors, okay, she's the only one who doesn't and she's judging us for messing it up anyway, but don't make a fuss dear, she's not long for this world anyway so we should give her her little thing to do, shouldn't we?

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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4. Not my vestry - there's no massive trapdoor leading to a crypt full of stiffs.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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1. That's not my lay representative on General Synod - his air is too hot.

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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

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Amos

Shipmate
# 44

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2) That's not my lay representative on General Synod, her speeches are too long.

[ 24. November 2012, 13:49: Message edited by: Amos ]

--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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Remember the form is to continue for five 'that's not....' before no. 6 being 'that's....' (if in doubt read the OP instructions again)

So, if we finish 'that's not my vestry' first and have Dafyd's very topical new idea next?

5. That's not my vestry, the notices are all up-to-date.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chorister

Completely Frocked
# 473

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6. That's my vestry, there are so many cassocks, there isn't room for the wearers!

3. That's not my Lay Representative on Deanery Synod, his vicar is a woman.

--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Pia
Shipmate
# 17277

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4. That's not my lay representative on the General Synod, she actually represented the views of her diocese.
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jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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5. That's not my lay representative at the General Synod - he was hoping for a trannie vote as the best compromise.

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894

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That's not my lay rep . . . wait, what? How old is this? Here, Hull, have our dead threads before the necromancers can get to it!

--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.

Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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Ecclesiastical folk, would you mind looking after this one for a while, rather than me lobbing it back at the mad frothing thing over in the playground.

Just for a day or two.

Ta.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
seasick

...over the edge
# 48

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1. That's not an Ecclesiantics hοst, he's not brilliant enough.

[NB friends: posts that do not conform to the values of Ecclesiantics may be, erm, adjusted [Big Grin] ]

[ 12. February 2013, 08:16: Message buggered about with by: seasick ]

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We believe there is, and always was, in every Christian Church, ... an outward priesthood, ordained by Jesus Christ, and an outward sacrifice offered therein. - John Wesley

Posts: 5769 | From: A world of my own | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
St. Punk the Pious

Biblical™ Punk
# 683

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2. That's not an Ecclesiantics ****; he doesn't own a copy of Ritual Notes.

--------------------
The Society of St. Pius *
Wannabe Anglican, Reader
My reely gud book.

Posts: 4161 | From: Choral Evensong | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076

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3. That's not an Ecclesiantics ****; she hasn't heard of tat!

--------------------
A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.


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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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4. That is not a Ecclesiantics **** she's too C*******.

Jengie
[fyi there is a long tradition of appointing low church types to Ecclesiantics ****ing]

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amos

Shipmate
# 44

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That's my Ecclesiastics ****, she's pitching yet another dead horse off the edge of the Board.

--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ldjjd
Shipmate
# 17390

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1. That's not our sermon. It lasted over 15 minutes.
Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2012  |  IP: Logged



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