|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Heaven: The Miss SoF Pageant
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
FROM: MISS SHIP-OF-FOOLS, INC.
TO: CONTESTANT #20 (SCHROEDINGER'S CAT)
RE: SWIMSUIT ROUND
Thank you for your suggestion of expanding the Swimsuit Round to a separate thread. Such an action would coordinate well with the planned Question/Response thread; we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. are happy to grant permission to create such a thread when the Swimsuit Round has completed.
Sincerely,
Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
FOR GENERAL DISTRIBUTION
FROM: MISS SHIP-OF-FOOLS, INC.
RE: CONTESTANT NUMBERS
We at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. publicly state that the sequence of the Finalists' Contestant Numbers (1,4,10,11, and 14) is purely coincidental. No inferences or calculations of an encryptical or numerological nature should be attempted now or in the future.
This statement will be reproduced if required.
Sincerely,
Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
cc: Urban Myths Board
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
|
Posted
Fr. Buskin's agent reports that he is engaging in spiritual warfare against Satan's strongholds of lust which will seek to establish themselves when he appears in his swimming attire. What is the latest time that he may make an appearance? Every moment of prayer is a blow for purity.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
(Aside) Yes, I thought as much, somebody else is also wearing white satin. I wouldn't be surprised if back in her dressing room, she also has a diving suit with sequins, hearts, feathers, and twee flowers with smiling faces on as well. I really do wonder sometimes about the meaning of life.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
FOR GENERAL DISTRIBUTION
FROM: MISS SHIP-OF-FOOLS, INC.
RE: SWIMSUIT ROUND
To help accomodate Contestant #14 (Fr. Buskin), we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. are extending the deadline for his appearance to August 3 (although an earlier appearance would be appreciated if possible).
Sincerely,
Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
[ 06 August 2002, 14:29: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
(Aside) Yes, I thought as much, somebody else is also wearing white satin. I wouldn't be surprised if back in her dressing room, she also has a diving suit with sequins, hearts, feathers, and twee flowers with smiling faces on as well. I really do wonder sometimes about the meaning of life.
As if I would wear anything with sequins, hearts,feathers and twee flowers let alone smilie faces!!! If you, dear Ariel, want to know the meaning of life, I have a book I can lend you ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif) And as for a diving suit? - baby, I go skinny dipping!!! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
If you, dear Ariel, want to know the meaning of life, I have a book I can lend you And as for a diving suit? - baby, I go skinny dipping!!!
I know more than enough about life than I want to as it is already, thanks. If you need a book to help you figure it out, good luck to you. As for the skinny dipping - glad I missed it. I happen to know what else people do in the water, which is why a diving suit comes in handy.
I am now going to sit quietly in the wings eating the last of my much-travelled Marmite sandwiches, and waiting for Fr Buskin to appear. Will he, won't he? What colour will he wear? Oh, the excitement of anticipation. The endless fantasies one can weave. Until shattered by reality.
(Still haven't found out who stole my blasted costume. Or why.)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Inanna
Ship's redhead
# 538
|
Posted
And as the tension mounts and we await the final contestant...
... the peaceful atmosphere is shattered as a group of protesters come crashing through the back of the hall and charge their way onto the stage.
Ah yes. The representatives of SPEW (Ship's Pageant Exploits Women!) are instantly recognisable by their doc marten boots, multiple facial piercings and shaved heads. (and the ![[Puke]](graemlins/puke.gif) SPEW! ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) T-shirts are a bit of a give away too.)
As two of them unfurl a large banner reading "WE OBJECT THIS OBJECTIFICATION", another throws large SPEW cover-ups over the swimsuit-clad contestants. The rest of them start pelting the judges with eggs, flour bombs and the like.
Mwahahahaha
--------------------
All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.
Posts: 1495 | From: Royal Oak, MI | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
zandolit
Shipmate
# 346
|
Posted
Zandolit is now very glad she missed the swimsuit competition and went to the beach instead.
--------------------
Senye, nou kontan se ou kap kenbe nou e se pa nou kap kenbe ou
Posts: 185 | From: Britain's oldest recorded town | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
FROM: MISS SHIP-OF-FOOLS, INC.
TO: CONTESTANT #23 (SHEILA THE HAMSTER)
RE: S.P.E.W. PROTESTERS
May we borrow your flamethrower?
Thank you,
Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
[ 01 August 2002, 19:17: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
|
Posted
From Contestant #2
Dear Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
I am not one to be picky; indeed I am generally charming and sunshine smiley ![[Sunny]](graemlins/flowerface.gif) However, there appears to have been some cheating going on, and I want the contestant concerned disqualified.
You may remember from the last round, your instructions were:
quote:
Originally posted by Bel:
You must spend 1,000,000 American dollars (or the equivalent) on yourself in less than a week and then have nothing to show for it other than memories, inexpensive souvenirs, and/or some physical wear and tear. How would you spend it?
A certain contestant responded:
quote:
clare:
First I think I shall treat myself to spending the whole week shopping in Marks and Spencers rather than the local Tescos. It’s is more pricey, but I think the quality of the cakes is better, and there are some more unusual items. There’s some rather interesting musili I saw in there recently, full of berries! So I could have that instead of my usual branflakes. And, I shall buy some things that will be fun to replace, but you don’t usually do so because they never wear out, so to speak. Though buying a new biscuit tin, a new draining rack, a new bathroom mat and laundry basket seems a little extravagant, because really the ones I have surfice perfectly well, it will be nice to have ones that aren’t quite so dog-eared.
She has clearly stated that she would have more than inexpensive souvenirs to show for all the money she spent. That's not allowed. And it's not fair <stamps foot petulantly>. She cheated. She shouldn't be allowed to get through to the finals.
And if you let her carry on, then my daddy will have something to say, and he's a director in the City. He'll shut you down. Or something.
So please don't let cheats prosper
Love and kisses, ![[Heart]](graemlins/heartpump.gif)
Me
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
FROM: MISS SHIP-OF-FOOLS, INC.
TO: CONTESTANT #2 (SARKYCOW)
RE: QUESTION/RESPONSE ROUND
Thank you for your inquiry; we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. always try within reason to accomodate the wants and needs of our Contestants.
After consideration, we find that the Response of Contestant #10 (Clare) did not significantly violate the conditions of the Round by its detail, and certainly did not violate these conditions in spirit. The net worth, standard of living, and recognition level of this contestant (dear simple soul she is) would remain unchanged. If there are errors of reasoning in her response, we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. have the confidence in our voters to take these errors into consideration--you must expect an organization that allows one-sixth of a Beauty Pageant's Contestants to be male, after all, to allow a certain degree of latitude.
Also, please remember that no Contestant actually received any money (we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. may be confident, but we ain't stupid); the spending was purely hypothetical. No cheating in the traditional sense could occur.
If it will be of any further assistance to you, we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. will gladly give you, after the end of this Pageant and in accordance with the Freedom Of Information Act of 1966, the IP Addresses associated with the votes for Contestant #10, with which you may do as you please.
We hope the situation for you has been clarified. We congratulate you on your qualifying for the Semi-Finals; you should still be proud, because not everyone can be a winner.
Sincerely,
Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
|
Posted
I find it very odd that the SPEW faction showed up right after contestant #14 was given a time extension (thereby allowing said contestant to not be present when the protest took place).
Perhaps the pageant organizers should look into this?
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
FROM: MISS SHIP-OF-FOOLS, INC.
TO: JLG
RE: S.P.E.W PROTESTERS
Thank you for your inquiry; we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. appreciate your concern.
From the information we were able to obtain from surviving SPEW members, we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. have come to the conclusion that SPEW took independent advantage of an unexpected opportunity created by Fr. Buskin's delay.
If the cause for Fr. Buskin's delay is not of a particularly urgent nature, we at Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc. can only hope that this Pageant's temporary disruption will seriously affect his conscience; no other action against him, even if his behavior is proven negligent, can be taken.
We hope you enjoy the rest of the Miss SoF 2002 Pageant.
Sincerely,
Belisarius, 2002 Chair, Board of Directors
Miss Ship-of-Fools, Inc.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ultraspike
Incensemeister
# 268
|
Posted
I think I see Fr Buskin in the distance, down there emerging from that pink and blue cabana. At first glance it looks like he's wearing a cross between a sleveless mini cassalb and a lacy cotta -- truly modest yet strangely alluring in a somewhat disturbing way. Is this what the cosmopolitan priest wears to the beach these days, or is this some figment of Fr Buskin's twisted sense of humor? Let's withhold our scores until the picture is clearer.
--------------------
A cowgirl's work is never done.
Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
|
Posted
Ah no. Now closer we see the mini-cassalb cotta wearer is actually the flower boy who is sprinkling rose petals in front of Fr. Buskin's path. Earls in morning coats appear to be carrying a canopy of some sort to shade him.
And now, he stops in the middle of the stage. There are gasps from the crowd as he begins to pull off his black pullover and clerical shirt. His black leather-it-appears trousers are sitting low on his hips revealing the band of a pair of designer jocks with the word 'Monstrance' on them.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen",
intones Fr. Buskin
"And also with you", replies the crowd.
"As the Virgin Queen saith: 'All may; None must; Some should.'"
"Thankyou"
With that, he throws his cuffs and collar into the audience.
[a scroll lock horror story]
[ 02 August 2002, 09:51: Message edited by: clare ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
<Smarmy Host>
Thank you, Contestant #14.
We will be setting up the Voting Poll within the next few hours. Besides giving a point to his choice for Winner, each voter will have an extra treat--being able to give a point to his choice for the Miss Congeniality Award from among the 13 Contestants who were unable to participate in the Semi-Finals. Good luck to everyone!
[typo]
[ 02 August 2002, 16:45: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
|
Posted
Dear Bel (may I call you that please? ![[Smile]](smile.gif) )
The IP addresses would be wonderful. I know someone who's very very clever, and can understand computers. I'm sure he'll think of something to do with them ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Love and kisses
Me
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pheonix
Twisted fire starter
# 2782
|
Posted
Sarkycow, I trust you'll give us chance to say goodbye before those IP's are used to nuke someone to oblivion and back
[UBB Code edited]
[ 02 August 2002, 20:08: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
Posts: 2384 | From: on the move. | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
<Smarmy Host>
The Final Votes have been counted.
After each announcement, the Contestant announced will be allowed to make a statement to the media before the next announcement. Nothing like adding a little to the dramatic tension, folks.
So...
<DRUMROLL>
The winner of the Miss Congeniality Award, with 6 points is...
CONTESTANT #22, MRS. TUBBS!!
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Blue
Shipmate
# 3067
|
Posted
<enthusiastic applause>
Posts: 113 | From: sunk without trace | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
|
Posted
[Old Ladies, back in front row, knitting]
Lady 1: And do you know how many Bible studies she had to do for that, love?
Lady 2: Go on. How many, pet?
Lady 1: King James died with a smile on his face, is all I'll say, love.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Cosmo
Shipmate
# 117
|
Posted
Fr Buskin would like to apologise for his appalling tardiness but that lovely little off-the-shoulder chasuble-swimsuit just couldn't be hurried from Monsieur Jules. Sand may be found in the lining of the orphreys but that just adds to its effect.
He recognises that he has come all too late for this most exciting of contests but he has been battling, as has been stated above, in contest with the Prince of all Contests who is quite unable to keep proper time.
Good Fr Buskin comes to the front of the sanctuary, er..stage, and makes a propfound bow for al the Sarumites out there, before turning and making a double genuflection to the Exposed Sacrament (and showing off a fine piece of lace alb cunningly woven into the suit by Jules) before retreating off stage in order to say his first mass of the Day.
Fr Buskin would like to thank all those who voted for him and hopes that his suit, like Fr d'Ascoyne Gascoyne's west window, 'combines all the exurberance of Chauncer with none of the concomitant crudities'.
Thus speaks his agent and chaplain,
Fr Cosmo
Posts: 2375 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Mid
Officer and a gentleman
# 1559
|
Posted
Has anyone PM'd Miss COngeniality to let her know she has to respond?
Come on, come on.
I want to know who won!!! ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
Posts: 3022 | From: The Wardroom | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
Mrs. Tubbs was PM'd some time ago. She will be allowed a couple of more hours to make a statement before the Pageant moves on.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
Well, it looks like Mrs. Tubbs is still delayed. Perhaps we can backtrack later but for now...
Our Fourth Runner-Up, with a total of 36 points, is...
CONTESTANT #11, ZANDOLIT!!
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
|
Posted
Mrs Tubbs wanders on stage in a fur bikini a la Rachel Welsh in “100 Million Years BC” looking somewhat confused (but very pretty in a scruffy retro kind of way) as she never normally wins anything. And she is late. (“No change there”, her hubby cries). She has even bought the World’s Cutest and Fluffest Cat ™ with her and all the audience goes “Ahhhh” as Pollypud sits in the middle of the stage and gives herself a good wash.
She walks gracefully over to the Compare, gives him a peck on the cheek as she receives her prize. (And makes no comment about the fact that the gold plate is already flaking and the rest of the awards appear to have been sent off to be “pawnished” and replaced with cheap plastic fakes ). She then trips over her own feet and, in attempt to avoid crushing the cat, ends up head first in the orchestra pit with her better-than-Kyle’s butt in the air as the camera zooms in for a close up. The cat walks rubs herself against the Compare’s leg and then leaves the stage in search of Whiskers.
Tubbs
PS Thank you for my prize.
PPS Coot, that’s soooo not true. ![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
|
Posted
Mrs Tubbs, my most sincere congratulations to you!
(How long is this going to go on?... the suspense is killing me! ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) )
--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dolphy:
Mrs Tubbs, my most sincere congratulations to you!
(How long is this going to go on?... the suspense is killing me! )
Thank you. Would you like a chocolate cup cake? I made them myself with my new Nigella cookbook ...
Tubbs
--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
The Pageant will give Zandolit about two more hours to make a statement; the Pageant will then announce the Third Runner-Up.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
|
Posted
Tubbs,
I would be delighted to sample some of your choccy cake!!! Thank you so much, I shall make us some tea to go with it.
--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dolphy:
Tubbs,
I would be delighted to sample some of your choccy cake!!! Thank you so much, I shall make us some tea to go with it.
No, please allow me
Tubbs
--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
|
Posted
No, No, No... I insist! It will kill the hours until the results are through...
This cake is rather good!!! I am most impressed Madame Tubbs of Pageant fame!
--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
Well, Zandolit is welcome to make a statement when she picks up her charming commemorative virtual statuette, but the Pageant must go on.
The Third Runner-Up, with a total of 40 points, is...
CONTESTANT #14, FR. BUSKIN!!
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17
|
Posted
May I join you? I must admit after all that champagne that seemed to have been thrown around like there was no tomorrow, not that i had more than a small glass I can assure you, it goes straight to my head! - it's very nice to meet up with some others for a lovely cup of tea. And cake too! The simple things in life keep you going don't they! especially during all this waiting around... just like the dentist!
Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
|
Posted
Certainly Clare, consider a cuppa on its way! I suggest you try one of Tubbs choccy cakes... they are really good!
Congratulations Fr. Buskin.
--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
|
Posted
Cup cake Father? Or would they diminish the taste of the gin? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Tubbs
--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
zandolit
Shipmate
# 346
|
Posted
Contestant #11, Zandolit, finally shows up, not having understood fully that there was a beauty pageant going on and that she was the fourth runner up. She also got lost coming here on her way back from the beach, contributing to her tardiness.
She accepts the trophy handed to her. Puzzled, she looks at it and says uncertainly into the microphone thrust into her face: "Um, gee, thanks. What's this for? What? Oh - a beauty pageant? Really? Gosh. Hmmm. Well, this will make a... err... interesting... What is it exactly? Oh? A trophy? Well, never had one of those before. Gee... um... thanks"
Later that night, after getting home, she noticed that her tire was flat - the trophy made an excellent and sturdy car jack. Upon entering her house, she decided to finally hang that mirror she purchased, and the trophy came in handy to pound in the nail. It made a much better replacement for the broken table leg than what she was already using. Sadly, however, the dog thought the trophy was quite an intriguing object - it was subsequently dragged outside, peed on and buried. Interestingly enough, this treatment did not much affect the appearance of the trophy.
--------------------
Senye, nou kontan se ou kap kenbe nou e se pa nou kap kenbe ou
Posts: 185 | From: Britain's oldest recorded town | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
Well, we've given Fr. Buskin a few hours; considering he made a somewhat redundant appearance earlier, it's probably time to move on.
The Second Runner-Up, with 44 points, is...
CONTESTANT #4, ARIEL!!
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
Yoo-hoo, Contestant #4...
Oh well.
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...
The First Runner-Up, who will take on the responsibilities of Miss SoF 2002 should the Winner be unable...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
With a total of 45 points...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
is...
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
CONTESTANT #1, DOLPHY!!
*********************************************
MAKING THE WINNER CONTESTANT #10, CLARE, WITH
50 POINTS!!!
*********************************************
<Smarmy Host warbles>
Now down the aisle she can be seen
The Ship-of-Fools now has a queen
She's the shipmate whom we all adore
The proof is in her highest score...
[ 06 August 2002, 05:46: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Mid
Officer and a gentleman
# 1559
|
Posted
Don't worry Dolphy, something will happen to Clare soon, making you the winner, I promise!!
*The Mid quickly runs to his hotel room, grabs his suitcase, passport and false nose and quickly exits through the back door. He jumps into a waiting taxi which drives him to the airport where he boards a private Gulfstream IV with no markings. It flys away into the sunset taking The Mid with it....before Dolphy can get her hands on him. He smiles to himself - it was well worth it. He can't wait until the next constest....*
--------------------
For God so loved the world She got involved
Posts: 3022 | From: The Wardroom | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
Yoo-hoo, Contestant #4...
Oh well.
And yoo-hoo to you too, you smarmy host. I don't normally post at 5.30 a.m., unless I'm suffering unusually badly from insomnia.
So I get the bronze award? Well, in the interests of tactical voting, I voted for me consistently in every round, so that I could have at least one vote I could count on, but I must say I am touched to discover that someone else has voted for me as well. For which I thank you, whoever you are.
I am now off to my dressing room, and would like to invite Fr Buskin round for consolation (I can't get that photo out of my head) which will take the form of a particularly moist sort of chocolate fudge cake. Cake forks will not be supplied, out of a desire to see how he manages without.
And after that, I must be on my way, as my agent informs me that he has arranged a tour of all the nightclubs in Patagonia for me. This was his last act before resigning, so I shall be looking for a replacement. If anyone would like to arrange my tours, put up with my fits of temper, and help me dress and undress, see me in about ... I think Fr Buskin should take about half an hour so come round after that.
Thank you and goodbye.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
|
Posted
Congratulations Clare - shall we all pop round and have a celebratory cup of tea? Bring out Aunty Maud's best china, this is a happy day
P>S> I voted for you (smarm, smarm, sucks up to winner)
--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17
|
Posted
Well I never! Good heavens! How marvellous!
Well this is very exciting, could someone just take my camera and take a quick photo please? thank you, i can put that up next to Richard's graduation on the mantlepiece when i get home... Mrs Scott and Mrs Packer will be surprised! Now, oh, I have to stand here do I. yes, I think i'll still keep my handbag with me, i really do need that Kleenex now!
hello everyone! just to say a very warm thank-you to all the kind people who voted me, it's so nice to be appreciated. All my fellow contestants were absolutely super, though i do hope they enjoy taking off those dangerously high heels (they're not good for the feet you know) and pulling on a pair of slippers when they get home. And thank you very much kind compare, you really have been most accomodating and i think you have a real talent in a songwriting career.... yes, i do! such a nice voice. Oh thank you! such a lovely trophy, that'll have to go on the mantlepeice too... needs a little bit of brasso but i can se to it when i get home...oh, and if i could just get that changed from 'Miss' to Mrs? Thankyou, I'm afraid I'm rather old fashioned about these things.
well, this is all rather overwealming - oh hello? Weston-super-Mare Daily Argos, but of course, I read it every day! oh yes, cheese!
I really must be getting on, so, goodbye and thank you again to all the kind voters. Do pop in for a cuppa any time you're passing, it's no trouble.
Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
The Mid
Officer and a gentleman
# 1559
|
Posted
*Ring ring. Ring ring.
Clare answers phone. It is a long distance call, although she doesn't know it it is from somewhere over the Pacific Ocean at present.*
Clare, it's The Mid. Just wanted to say congratulations on your crown, it was very well deserved, and if you are looking for a PR manager as you carry out your Miss Ship of Fools duties then I would be happy to offer my services. They come at a very reasonable fee.
Once again, congratulations!!! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
*The line goes dead, Clare looks at it thoughtfully before placing the phone back on the hook*
--------------------
For God so loved the world She got involved
Posts: 3022 | From: The Wardroom | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
|
Posted
Now, now Mid... Clare won fair and square... Most sincere congratulations to you Clare.
(Sheds a small tear but thanks those who did vote for me!)
--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
Thank you, Contestant #1.
Well, that about wraps it up for the Miss SoF 2002 Pageant. Thank you for watching and we hope to see you next year!
<Contestants who still happen to be on stage each throw an exaggerated, synchronized kiss>
<CURTAIN>
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17
|
Posted
Email Communication
19.08.02
To: Simon Jenkins
From: clare
Re: How very kind.
-------------------------------------
Dear Mr Jenkins,
Just a short note to say thank you very much for the lovely tea-bags and delightful card. I enjoy earl grey very much, not so much first thing in the morning, when really I think you need a good robust flavour don't you, but certainly mid afternoon I find it so refreshing. You won't believe this, but when I went to the cupboard to put the box away I realised I only had one teabag left in my previous box, such wonderful timing! It has been great fun winning the beauty pageant, I have so many stories to tell my friends (some of them quite shocking about the other contestants but I'll spare your blushes) so I think I'll have to bake some cakes, invite them over for afternoon tea and show them the photos.
I wouldn't like to quibble with the organisers, they did such a marvellous job after all, but the trophy really is a bit of a devil to clean and does tend to dwarf the collection of china country cottages on the mantelpiece, so really the box of teabags is much more practical. Thank you again for your kindness and interest in the beauty pageant.
Yours with very best wishes,
clare
(Miss Ship-of-Fools Pageant Winner 2002 (Mrs)).
Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
Tea and crumpets for the winning!
Woo-hoo Miss Clare!!!
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
|
Posted
And with that, we again bid you adieu.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
