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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Baby Names for Atheists
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Qestia
Marshwiggle
# 717
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Posted
Some of my best friends are atheists... really. And they keep me humble by behaving in a more Christian manner than I do, much of the time.
So normally our difference in faith does not affect our friendship, and we manage to get by without offending one another.
However, a close friend of mine, who happens to be pregnant, just sent me an email that completely baffled me. She is trying to pick a baby name, and is narrowing her list by weeding out names that she feels have "strong religious associations." Like Joshua. And William. (William?!?) And Calvin. ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Erm... I am not about to set her straight--she can pick whatever names she wants based on whatever she wants to base it on.
So, anyone want to share some name suggestions for an atheist baby? I'm putting this in Hell because it's not really a discussion, or happy enough for heaven, but hosts, move it if you wish.
[ 21. March 2008, 18:12: Message edited by: comet ]
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I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.
Posts: 1213 | From: Boston | Registered: Jul 2001
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
I seem to remember a Herod from Adrian Mole, "a very radical baby who doesn't eat sweets and goes to bed at 3am".
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
She will have to watch gridiron football. Some of the names that the players have come from somewhere God doesn't dwell. There was a "Plaxico" something-or-other playing tightend for a team a couple of weeks ago.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Wet Kipper
Circus Runaway
# 1654
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Posted
how about "Dawkins"?
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- insert randomly chosen, potentially Deep and Meaningful™ song lyrics here -
Posts: 9841 | From: further up the Hill | Registered: Nov 2001
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Perhaps we should have a return to Puritan names (suitably modified of course) for children of atheistic parents - we all know that these children often flout the beliefs of their parents.
Faith, Hope, or Charity spring to mind for girls.
Not-knowing Smith, Zeus and Pan come to mind for boys (since I couldn't come up with neutral names with no biblical connotation)
Although I once knew agnostic parents who called their son Chris. When I enquired, for my records, as to whether that was an abbreviation, I discovered his full name was Joseph Christopher.
I mentally shook my head.
[ 10. October 2007, 13:15: Message edited by: PeteCanada ]
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Bertrand (Russell)
Charles (Bradlaugh)
Alfred (Ayer)
Thomas (Paine) (not actually an atheist but they like to quote him)
Ludwig (Feuerbach)
Karl (Marx)
Albert (Camus)
Girl atheist babies are harder. One is pretty much left with Eleanor (Marx). Unless one really wishes to name ones child after Susan Blackmore or Ophelia Benson. IIRC, Mary Midgley is an atheist but she probably doesn't qualify because she and Dawkins don't get on, she's not rude about religious belief (being the daughter of a clergyman) and in some circles Mary is quite an important religious name.
Insist that she names him after one of the big hitters rather than saddling him with Christopher Richard Atheistbaby!
Do atheist babies have rebellious phases as teenagers where they don't want to go to atheist summer camp and decide to join the Society of St Pius X?
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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
Presumably 'Lalla', as in Mrs Richard Dawkins, would do for a girl.
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Albert
Bzzt!
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Beelzebub. Just to scare the shit out of fundieliteralists....
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
The best atheist name for a boy is surely Jesus. I was tempted, when puppywonderer was born, but anticipated playground problems.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Oh yes, girls name: Madalyn or Murray
O'Hair would be a little weird.
[ 10. October 2007, 13:28: Message edited by: Mad Geo ]
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
When in doubt, fall back on the classics.
Primus
Secundus
Tertius
Quartus
Quintus
Sextus
Septimus
Octavius
Nonus
Decimus
or
April
May
June
Julie
Augusta
or if you want to be seen to be green and environmentally friendly
Coriander
Yarrow
Daisy
Rose
Greenpeace
Recyclina
Shreddie
Paperella
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Alaric the Goth
Shipmate
# 511
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Posted
'Ooh', said one mum, 'liitle Attila Richard Douglas is coming along fine, I am sure he said 'secular' the other day!
'Super!' said the other mum, 'Little Genghis Charles might have said 'humanism' last week, I think.' And wee Germaine Susan has written a lovely poem called 'God is a lie' for her English teacher. It goes:
God is a lie
He’s not up in the sky
And you know when you die
There’s no heavenly ‘pie’
'My, you must be so proud of her!' said the first mum.
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'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)
Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
Wow, Manipled Mutineer, he sounds like some individualist, that Price bloke!
I love Ariel's suggestions too.
May I offer "Wayne" and "Waynetta" as being possible non-religious names. I also have a pupil called Roman - so maybe place-type names (India, Vienna, Bognor, etc) are possibilities too, with certian exceptione like Lourdes, The Vatican and Golgotha, perhaps.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Recyclina
Actually that's not too far afield of the baby-naming practice in the Soviet Union. Before Stalin, babies might be given names that abbreviate revolutionary slogans or the initials of Bolshevik heroes; in the Stalin period babies sported wonderful names that referred to industrialization and the five-year plans. Think "electrificationsky". Some were not much less weird than that.
With that in mind, names for atheist babies might include:
Freethought
Godless (that'll frighten the fundies!)
Smarterthanthosestupidchristians (could be abbreviated "Smarter")
Bright
Rebelwithoutagod
and so forth.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Zealot en vacance
Shipmate
# 9795
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Posted
Using the puritan example, names for the desired attitudes and attributes would seem appropriate.
Rationalista, Science-can-explain-everything, Materialistica, Progressive, Reasonabilia, Evolved, etc.
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He said, "Love one another".
Posts: 2014 | From: Surface of planet Earth | Registered: Jul 2005
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Rose
A little girl, not a million miles from me, has Rose as one of her given names. The proud father was thinking along the lines of "Fruit of the mystic Rose, as of that Rose the stem" and "There is no Rose of swich virtue, as is the Rose that bar Jesu".
So much the same difficulty as naming the child after Dr Midgley really.
Much more damaging than the unimportant fact that the Blessed Albert of Algeria happened to share one of his names with a liberal protestant. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zealot en vacance:
Using the puritan example, names for the desired attitudes and attributes would seem appropriate.
Rationalista, Science-can-explain-everything, Materialistica, Progressive, Reasonabilia, Evolved, etc.
How I wish I'd made a similar point. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Kinda like the Faith, Charity, Hope:
Reason, Brilliant, Wiser.
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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marmot
Mountain mammal
# 479
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Posted
There are nouns from the natural world that an atheist might embrace (beyond the flowers mentioned above):
Stone, River, Luna, Rain.
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Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"
Posts: 2754 | From: The land of Saint Damien | Registered: Jun 2001
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Beautiful Dreamer
Shipmate
# 10880
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Posted
My husband's name is Severn. I believe that is the name of a river. That would be a non-religious name, and a surefire way to make sure no one in his class has the same name.
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More where that came from
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
Posts: 6028 | From: Outside Atlanta, GA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Beautiful Dreamer
Shipmate
# 10880
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Bertrand (Russell)
Charles (Bradlaugh)
Alfred (Ayer)
Thomas (Paine) (not actually an atheist but they like to quote him)
Ludwig (Feuerbach)
Karl (Marx)
Albert (Camus)
Girl atheist babies are harder. One is pretty much left with Eleanor (Marx). Unless one really wishes to name ones child after Susan Blackmore or Ophelia Benson. IIRC, Mary Midgley is an atheist but she probably doesn't qualify because she and Dawkins don't get on, she's not rude about religious belief (being the daughter of a clergyman) and in some circles Mary is quite an important religious name.
Insist that she names him after one of the big hitters rather than saddling him with Christopher Richard Atheistbaby!
Do atheist babies have rebellious phases as teenagers where they don't want to go to atheist summer camp and decide to join the Society of St Pius X?
Madeline is sort of an atheist name. I am thinking of Madeline Murray O'Hair, who was partly responsible for getting prayer removed from schools. Too bad she was a complete bitch and was murdered.
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More where that came from
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
Posts: 6028 | From: Outside Atlanta, GA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Thief!
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
Like "bed"?
eta I quite like "daisy" but the partner doesnt ![[Frown]](frown.gif) (if we ever had kids).
When I was younger I quite liked "sky". It was very odd when it appeared on neighbours and yet now it seems a *bit* more normal.
Other kids I teach are Champagne, Brandy, Barbie, Iona, Skye.
In fact - I like the scotland island names - Iona and Skye are pretty, not so sure about Mull though!!
((not at all sure Id want to go and spend months on an island just to ensure conception at the right point!))
[ 10. October 2007, 14:57: Message edited by: Emma. ]
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
Or "up against a wall".
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
Which needlessly bring us to a question I've often pondered.
What do atheists shout when they orgasm?
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Why not just go for the 'place of conception' idea? Seems to be one of the in things.
Doorway
Stationerycupboard
Golfcourse
Airplane
Party
Bog
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
What do atheists shout when they orgasm?
Dawkins! Dawkins! O, Dawkins.... I'm coming!
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
Which needlessly bring us to a question I've often pondered.
What do atheists shout when they orgasm?
AG
"fuck"?
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Matt Black
Shipmate
# 2210
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Posted
Surely that's what they're doing, not what they say.
[ETA - what about, "I'm achieving rational enlightenment"?]
[ 10. October 2007, 15:08: Message edited by: Matt Black ]
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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)
Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
The best atheist name for a boy is surely Jesus. I was tempted, when puppywonderer was born, but anticipated playground problems.
Oh no that's a popular Christian one especially amongst certain groups of African Christian. Where we tend not to use that we still use Joshua (the Hebrew form of Jesus). Just as Muslims regularly call their kids Mohammed. I think "Christ" would be the one you were actually looking for. Which is a bit like calling him "King" or "Priest" but seems to be used only for Jesus.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
Surely that's what they're doing, not what they say.
Ah, you gentle/pure/holy people have no idea.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Manipled Mutineer
Shipmate
# 11514
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful_Dreamer:
My husband's name is Severn. I believe that is the name of a river. That would be a non-religious name, and a surefire way to make sure no one in his class has the same name.
"Ouse", perhaps.
Of course the other problem with that name is that Severn has an association with Bores.
[ 10. October 2007, 15:26: Message edited by: Manipled Mutineer ]
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Collecting Catholic and Anglo-
Catholic books
Posts: 1533 | From: Glamorgan, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Oh no that's a popular Christian one especially amongst certain groups of African Christian.
Indeed- which is why it would be the best atheist name. If I named my son Jesus, as an atheist, that would be true sacrilege, wouldn't it? 'Christ' sounds pretty cool though, although everyone'd be bound to mistake it for Chris.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
Surely that's what they're doing, not what they say.
Ah, you gentle/pure/holy people have no idea.
![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Amazing Grace
High Church Protestant
# 95
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
The best atheist name for a boy is surely Jesus. I was tempted, when puppywonderer was born, but anticipated playground problems.
Oh no that's a popular Christian one especially amongst certain groups of African Christian.
It is a very common given name in Mexico.
"Chuy" is the standard nickname.
Charlotte
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WTFWED? "Remember to always be yourself, unless you suck" - the Gator
Memory Eternal! Sheep 3, Phil the Wise Guy, and Jesus' Evil Twin in the SoF Nativity Play
Posts: 6593 | From: Sittin' by the dock of the [SF] bay | Registered: Jul 2003
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Manipled Mutineer
Shipmate
# 11514
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by Matt Black:
Surely that's what they're doing, not what they say.
Ah, you gentle/pure/holy people have no idea.
By that definition, Matt should know all about it... (I'm told.)
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Collecting Catholic and Anglo-
Catholic books
Posts: 1533 | From: Glamorgan, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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Arrietty
Ship's borrower
# 45
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Posted
Woody Allen called one of his children Satchel. I think that has great potential and you could use other household articles.
After all, if IKEA is allowed to fill a catalogue full of bookshelves called Bobby and tables called Bjorn, there's no reason you can't call a child Doorstop.
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i-church
Online Mission and Ministry
Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
She will have to watch gridiron football. Some of the names that the players have come from somewhere God doesn't dwell. There was a "Plaxico" something-or-other playing tightend for a team a couple of weeks ago.
Plaxico (or even Plexico) Burress, a very large Wide Receiver for the New York Giants. Scored a great touchdown on Sunday - reckon a few might get named after him this week in New York ...
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Anglican_Brat
Shipmate
# 12349
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
What do atheists shout when they orgasm?
Dawkins! Dawkins! O, Dawkins.... I'm coming!
Thank you, I just threw up my breakfast.
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It's Reformation Day! Do your part to promote Christian unity and brotherly love and hug a schismatic.
Posts: 4332 | From: Vancouver | Registered: Feb 2007
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by bc_anglican:
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:
What do atheists shout when they orgasm?
Dawkins! Dawkins! O, Dawkins.... I'm coming!
Thank you, I just threw up my breakfast.
Hmm. Yeah, that happens a lot.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by dogwonderer:
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Oh no that's a popular Christian one especially amongst certain groups of African Christian.
Indeed- which is why it would be the best atheist name. If I named my son Jesus, as an atheist, that would be true sacrilege, wouldn't it? 'Christ' sounds pretty cool though, although everyone'd be bound to mistake it for Chris.
No. It means Jehovah is Salvation, which an odd expression for an Atheist to make, but hardly sacrilege. Jesus is a normal boys name, it just happens to be the one Jesus Christ was called by. In some ways "Immanuel" which is actually quite popular is more blasphemous, as it is title specifically given by an Angel to Jesus Christ . God really does not seem to have much concern what the common name was for Jesus Christ, far more worried over that of John the Baptist.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
When I first went to America I had a reciept from McDonalds with "you were served today by Jesus". I meant to bring it home with me ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Actual names from a family my husband's childhood best friend married into:
Lark
Iona
Ptarmigan
Shakti
Wren
I forget the others (it's been a while), but you can see the themes.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Arrietty:
Woody Allen called one of his children Satchel. I think that has great potential and you could use other household articles.
He didn't make it up though. There was a great black baseball player named Satchel Paige.
quote:
Originally posted by Arrietty:
After all, if IKEA is allowed to fill a catalogue full of bookshelves called Bobby and tables called Bjorn, there's no reason you can't call a child Doorstop.
That would be awesome in a really sick sort of way.
[ 10. October 2007, 16:06: Message edited by: Gwai ]
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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.
Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Think of the possibilities for those people who like to be cutesy and make all the children's names start off with the same letter(s)!
Doorstop
Doorknocker
Doorbell
Doorlatch
Doorjamb
Doorway
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
Jesus is a normal boys name
In that case, it seems a little odd that it isn't more popular in the West. So, why aren't all you good Christian folks naming your kids 'Jesus'?
[I've a feeling IngoB's real name should be Jesus, but that's another matter.]
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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