Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 6: On the road to Bethlehem
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary breathes in considerably in an attempt to let the young man get at the gear lever without too much difficulty
Sorry Jesus, sorry Cyril.. you're just going to have to put up with being a bit squashed for a while, my dears!
Turns to the young man with a smile It's twins, you know. Joseph is so proud of them!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Hay, got any Christmas CD's in there? Can I look through your collection? Away with a Donkey? Donkeys we Have Heard on High?
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 notices she is jammed into the car within reach of the Donkey's bale of hay and begins eating]
*munch* baaa. *munch*
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Oh, and my name is the Virgin Mary because...well..it's a long story. *Blushes* What's yours?
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Brian.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Oh, and this is the donkey...er... what's your name donkey?
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
and I'm Donkey, in case you didn't notice there was someone sitting back here. (Notices sheep) Hay! He's eating my hay! Go find your own hay. Haylleluah! Haylleluah! (looks out windows) What a nice drive, nothin' like takin' transportation.
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3, being securely wedged in among the luggage, ignores Donkey and continues eating.]
*munch*
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sheep 3: [Sheep 3 notices she is jammed into the car within reach of the Donkey's bale of hay and begins eating]
*munch* baaa. *munch*
Give over you heavy brute
*Shoves sheep on to donkey*
Give a lady some room here
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Car hits black ice and swerves on road
*struggles to keep car on road*
grrrrrr
*winning battle*
*phew*
Why do they never treat these back roads. I blame that flock of sheep on the freeway.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Get off! You cud chewing excuse for a four legged mammal! Hay, I thought Fairies were small and tiny?
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Gazes admiringly at Brian
Oh, excellent control.. though don't you think you may be going a little fast for the conditions? And my condition in particular....
Glances serenely at the fairy godmother Just keep that carrier bag handy!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Still sweating
Car's just a little full ...
Hey donkey ... found any good music in there?
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Donkey: Get off! You cud chewing excuse for a four legged mammal! Hay, I thought Fairies were small and tiny?
Watch it wise guy - this is the Godmother you're talking to.
This isn't any Disney Fairy
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
well, let's see, How about the soundtrack from the Sound of Music? That one is one of my favorites! Move over fairy, give a donkey room to breathe back here (raises eyebrows at fairy godmother)
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Looks up from grazing in a nearby meadow to see a car go by with a number of large suitcases piled on top, with a very pregant woman squeezed into the front seat, a donkey, sheep and some kind of fairy woman squeezed into the back seat, with her wings hanging out the window, and some guy driving singing horribly off-key.
Shakes his head. They'll grant a driver's licence to anyone in Palestine these days. At least there aren't any of those wise guys around.
Saunters over to the side of the stage and begins chewing on the scenery.
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Hmmm... would you like a wine gum?
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Why, yes I would, thank you so much Mary, I just knew we'd get along! (Begins to chew gum, blowing bubbles as gum softens while singing ) The Hills are Alive With the Sound of Music....
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
I have the sound of music in my car?
Throws CD out of window
Drat - just threw my fave Spice Girls CD out the window - ah well.
# Skips a few tracks # Turns up volume #
Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who's there ...
*Shouts at donkey* We'll have the sound of music in a minute ... maybe.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
There is the sound of "ickle donkey" played in rather artificial and jingly tones, at which Mary realises her mobile is ringing. Incoming text message
STILL STRGLING WIV FORM HOPE DONKEY'S OK WHERE DID U PUT THE PRINGLES? C U SOONEST LUV JOE
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Donkey: well, let's see, How about the soundtrack from the Sound of Music? That one is one of my favorites! Move over fairy, give a donkey room to breathe back here (raises eyebrows at fairy godmother)
Get rid of the sheep and we'll both have room
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Even Lowlier Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3691
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Posted
[From around a milling camel, ELS (Even Lowlier Shepherd) roars in on a moped, robe billowing behind him. As he passes Brian car, he reaches out, trying to recover the errant sheep.] Just a bit more... Gotcha!! [ELS pulls his arm from the car, holding...] A fairy godmother?!! [Distracted, ELS runs his moped off the road and into a nearby haystack.]
-------------------- the ferret normally known as Siegfried
Posts: 36 | From: A field in Judea | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
DEAR JOE PRINGLES IN SUITCASE THANKS 4 REMINDER DONKEY IN BACK SEAT ALL'S WELL C U THERE LUV BVM
Hey, Brian... would you like a Pringle? Donkey, they're in the third suitcase down, tucked inside Joseph's shoe.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
WoW! You just don't see that every day! Hay sheep, just move over a bit, and I'll get you some more hay, deal?
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Crawls from under moped and even lowlier shepherd - wings are twisted and straw is stuck to her hair*
What the?
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Yeah, now I've got some room back here, so lets see, some swaddling clothes, bibs, booties, ah yes, here it is, there ya go Mary!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
# Flicks through a few more songs #
Well, I got us on a highway and I got us in a car got us going faster than we've ever gone before I got us on a highway and I got us in a car got us going faster than we've ever gone before ...
Pringles - that all you got? ... I'd much rather have a Tunnocks caramel wafer and a can of Irn-Bru, just to keep me awake while driving these long distances.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Goodness Brian, the car suddenly seems to have got its second wind... doesn't seem to be making half such heavy work of it now!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
# Turns volume down #
and I know it ain't gonna last and I know it ain't gonna last when I see your eyes arrive they explode like two bugs on glass ...
What was that Mary?
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd: [From around a milling camel, ELS (Even Lowlier Shepherd) roars in on a moped, robe billowing behind him. As he passes Brian car, he reaches out, trying to recover the errant sheep.] Just a bit more... Gotcha!! [ELS pulls his arm from the car, holding...] A fairy godmother?!! [Distracted, ELS runs his moped off the road and into a nearby haystack.]
<Enter the Director, already a teensiest bit annoyed after a disagreement with the blue arrow that insists on depositing her at the end of Page One every time she wants to reach the latest posts. At the sight of Fairy Godmother and ELS's legs emerging from the haystack she pales>
No way was this in the script!
-------------------- Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Hold on Brian, they're right here in Joe's other shoe (rolls down window sticking his head outside), Hay, is it getting dark out already?
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
I said .... sighs, serenely
Goodness Brian, the car suddenly seems to have got its second wind... doesn't seem to be making half such heavy work of it now!
Bugs on glass???
Hey, are you all right back there, donkey? You're unusually quiet!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
# Turns music down again #
she's a goddess on a highway, a goddess in a car a goddess going faster than she's ever gone before she's a goddess on a highway, a goddess in a car a goddess going faster than she's ever gone before ...
*puzzled* You what?
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Sees car dissapearing slowly in the distance*
Never catch up with that sheep at this rate
*Picks up moped*
Thank goodness I did motorbike mechanics at nightschool
*Proceeds to make minor repairs to machine*
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
How far is it to Bethlehem, anyway? Not very far? Are you sure we're on the right route? I'm sure the sign there said Bognor Regis, but I may have been mistaken.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tour Manager
Nativity Play
# 3670
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Posted
(The Tour bus continues to hurtle on its misguided way. Amidst the sleeping animals, unWise men and spare Lap Dancers who were Left Behind ( ) when the Harley Davidsons set off, a solitary radar screen glows in the dark. Of the kind seen most often in Wacky Races, it show a series of moving blobs indicating the various cast members' locations. Out in front is Brian's Skoda. A smaller blob shows a shepherd's moped and Fairy G. A small red blob nearby indicates Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep. A wobbly blob near Nazareth is Joseph, next to a teeny tiny blob which is his tax form. A stationary blob marks the Camel Driver and his herd in a weekend layby. The Wise Harley Davidsons are nowhere to be seen. The Tour Bus has a flamingo coloured blob to itself, which is rapidly fading from the wrong corner of the screen.)
-------------------- Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)
Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Brian, could you at least turn on the lights please, I know it seems to be brighter than usual, but the law requires that lights come on at a certain time after the official sunset?
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
*Passes Mary the map*
We're going right here. That's the only Bethlehem I know.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Oh s%^&, thanks donkey.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Fairy Godmother grabs hold of unconscious even lowlier shepherd and straps him on back of moped*
Right, lets get this show on the road
*Sets off to follow the car at high speed*
That sheep is dead meat when I catch up with it
You Ok back there?
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Baby Jesus
Nativity Play
# 3729
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin: A donkey. A $^@! donkey. Yo, bro!
*pokes the boring, good twin*
*gradually wakens from sweetly sleeping due to incessant whining of Evil Twin - sorry, Cyril. Out of consideration for darling mummy, resists the temptation to stretch.
*sigh* Cyril dear, yes, I know I'm omnipotent, but I really don't think that laying on luxury transport as my first miracle would be the very best start to my important ministry. Why don't you just try and get some rest, and give mummy dearest a bit of peace for once? You can be nice, you know - go on, try it...
*mutters under breath* I might just start practising turning stuff into wine though. Never know when that might be a useful trick. Might keep Cyril happy that way too...
-------------------- Few people know that Beethoven's daughter is really the Son of God!
Posts: 13 | From: the manger | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Oh dear.. I was thinking more of... here actually...
Donkey, can you navigate please? Throws map book to donkey I think you turn left just here!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Let me see that map. Well, it does say Bethlehem, and I don't know many foreign languages, so, yeah, that must be where it is, turn up the volume Brian, let's all sing!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Sorry can't look, I'm driving, did you mean that left right ...... there.
Oops.
-------------------- Romanes Eunt Domus, Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3, who had fallen asleep while munching hay, suddenly awakes, looks around, and begins chewing cud.]
Baaa.
*sheep plop*
[Sheep 3 settles comfortably onto the seat and stares out the window.]
Baaaa.
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
No... here.... no, left just here... I mean...
Decides just to give up. After all, Joseph doesn't listen when she tries to help navigate either? What is it with men and navigation? helps herself to another wine gum and sits back to admire the scenery.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Donkey: Let me see that map. Well, it does say Bethlehem, and I don't know many foreign languages, so, yeah, that must be where it is, turn up the volume Brian, let's all sing!
Lickle Donkey, Lickle Donkey [ 15. December 2002, 11:04: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
-------------------- Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Hold on, if we go right just after the next stop light, turn right at the next Jerusalem Junction, we'll be back on track. See, my ears are twitchin' and they know just where to go! And they say that way!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Heaves herself round in the seat - a task in itself! - and scratches the donkey behind the ears
Well done, have a carrot!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*A vision in purple whizzes past the car doing a ton and weaving smoothly between the camels and assorted traffic and animals on the road*
Good things customised mopeds
*As Fairy Godmother zooms into the distance you can vaguely seen the outline of a shepherd who has given up the will to struggle*
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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