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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 6: On the road to Bethlehem
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.
Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
I can see one! I can see one! Wow, there's a lot of them around! Wings, halos, and everything. Do ya think they grant wishes too?
I do give wishes - at the moment I wish you'd give this sheep a push out the car
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Name your price.
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 is suddenly awakened by being grabbed.]
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Name your price.
3 wishes and a ride on that moped
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
What about 4 wishes and a ride on the moped?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[As she is shoved out of the car by the Donkey, she manages to slash Brian with one of her sharp hooves.]
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.
Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.
sigh....she would benefit from a bag of those weeds.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Name your price.
3 wishes and a ride on that moped
3 wishes, a ride on the moped and an elastoplast
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Wise Man
Nativity Play
# 3674
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Posted
[Cue scene of Hot rod with Joe Camel painted on the side driving across the desert trailed by a plume of dust]
Sheesh, where's the infernal bus and the pack of Harley's? I hope they remembered to turn left at Ararat ...
Oh well, what the hell. They'll get there when they get there.
[turns up the volume on the stereo as yet another ZZTop anthem swells]
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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.
Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Blinkin' sheep, anyone got a plaster?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.
Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.
Mary sighs serenely to herself If God is an Englishman, his progeny don't half have a strange way of expressing themselves. Still I am sure we will grow to understand each other, sweet Cyril and I, once she is born. She's probably just getting excited ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Blinkin' sheep, anyone got a plaster?
Sneaks one from behind the curtains...
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[In all the confusion, Sheep 3 makes a mad dash for it and races off down the road.]
BAAAAAA
BAAAAAAA
BAAAAAAAAA
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Blinkin' sheep, anyone got a plaster?
*Waves wand*
One plaster (Mr Men)
Now 4 wishes, a ride and lamb curry?
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Note to the 'rents: those animals are driving me absolutely batsh... um, bat"plop"(???), so I will be packing heat on my entrance to the world.
Might wanna rethink that Cyril thing BEFORE you're staring at the business end of a Glock.
Mary sighs serenely to herself If God is an Englishman, his progeny don't half have a strange way of expressing themselves. Still I am sure we will grow to understand each other, sweet Cyril and I, once she is born. She's probably just getting excited
Translated into old-fart-parentese...
I'm going to have a Glock, which is a powerful and lovely gun, to take out every one of them damn animals, and I don't particularly care for the name "Cyril", so change it while you still have a chance.
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
This is SO much better! (Donkey stretches out luxuriously over the entire back seat.) I just need a blanket to get comfy here. That was my wish, lots of room, no more sheep! Thanks Fairy Godmother!
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Wise Man
Nativity Play
# 3674
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Posted
[hot rod still driving in the desert with plume of dust trailing behind. A sheep darts out in front of the car and car swerves madly to miss it, spinning out and raising minor dust storm]
DAFT SHEEP!
[Hot rod fires up and roars on...]
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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.
Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
Now 4 wishes, a ride and lamb curry?
Deal.
[Tries to stem blood and apply plaster but it's not happening ...]
No first aider tonight? - can someone tie down the sheep until I get this under control please?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
I don't particularly care for the name "Cyril", so change it while you still have a chance.
You know, I have a funny feeling that the baby isn't too happy with the name Cyril. I tried to tell Joseph it didn't seem right.
Serenely strokes tummy
Lavinia it is!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
Oh I don't think so. Where's the bladder? *kick* And the lungs? *kick* And this sciatic nerve looks like a nice, comfortable place to catch some zzzzzzz.
[ 14. December 2002, 22:53: Message edited by: Jesus' evil twin ]
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Even Lowlier Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3691
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Posted
[Hopping off the moped]
Hey! Get back here sheep!!! I've got to get you back to the flock!!!
[Even Lowlier Shepherd chases off after the sheep, disappearing into the distance.]
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the ferret normally known as Siegfried
Posts: 36 | From: A field in Judea | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Oh NO! Brian's bleeding, someone help! Medics, 911, Alchemist, Help! (Donkey faints at sight of blood)
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Mary has a mobile, someone phone for some help, please.
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Tries to stem blood and apply plaster but it's not happening ...]
No first aider tonight? - can someone tie down the sheep until I get this under control please?
(impassively)....I've called First-aider and left a voice mail message......
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Ouch! Ooh! Agh! Sitting in this tiny car seems to have given me a touch of cramp. I'll just stand up and stretch my legs while you lot are playing with that sheep. Now, where did I put my mobile?
JOE
NEARLY THERE
JUST A BIT HELD UP
WOT A JRNY !
LUV BVM
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Oh NO! Brian's bleeding, someone help! Medics, 911, Alchemist, Help! (Donkey faints at sight of blood)
(toneless and mercilessly) And I certainly don't take on the role of a veterinarian! ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
Oh NO! Brian's bleeding, someone help! Medics, 911, Alchemist, Help! (Donkey faints at sight of blood)
(toneless and mercilessly) And I certainly don't take on the role of a veterinarian!
What in the blazes do *I* need a vet for?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Sighs serenely again... why is life never simple?
I'd ring 999 but I think my mobile's out of credit.
Don't worry, Brian. I was in the Guides and did my first aider badge. I rather liked the blue uniform, you know. Hold on.
Modestly rips off the lower half of her skirt and uses it as a bandage for Brian's injury
There you are.. now can we get on please?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
*Realises that she is now sheepless as well as shepherless*
Come back here you blasted animal - mint sauce, mint sauce!
No good - can't run after them
Must deal with that cut on Brian's face ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Want a whiskey
*Searches fo hip flask under petticoats*
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
What in the blazes do *I* need a vet for?
The donkey's fainted. After having been chided by the Equity Director regarding exceeding the scope of my contract and job description, and after having not received a clarifying answer regarding filling in for First-aider, sorry - can't help except to pass you more bandages from the props table. You're in a DIY situation here.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Fairy - first wish - can you heal that cut?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
Clarifying, I mean the Equity Deputy....whatever. Ho hum.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Fairy - first wish - can you heal that cut?
That's easy
*waves wand over Brian's face*
Ooops sorry - did I poke you in the eye? ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif)
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Fairy - first wish - can you heal that cut?
That's easy
*waves wand over Brian's face*
Ooops sorry - did I poke you in the eye?
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
You just cannot get the staff these days. [Whispers] Who's line is it again?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Excuse me, this IS a play, you know.. and I DO have to be in Bethlehem in time to meet Joseph and get changed for dinner at the Plaza. I've already administered first aid and it's a bit draughty hanging around here in this dress, so COULD WE GET A MOVE ON PLEASE?????
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
You just cannot get the staff these days. [Whispers] Who's line is it again?
Don't blame me sunshine - I'm only doing my bit to pad this out until the rest of the cast come back from the pub/lunch/bed
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Excuse me, this IS a play, you know.. and I DO have to be in Bethlehem in time to meet Joseph and get changed for dinner at the Plaza. I've already administered first aid and it's a bit draughty hanging around here in this dress, so COULD WE GET A MOVE ON PLEASE?????
Call that first aid? You've blindfolded the guy not bandaged his cut.... ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
Don't be such a wingebag ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
In the absense of any better ideas how about we all get in the car again and go find Mary's accomodation? Where are you kipping up Fairy?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
In the absense of any better ideas how about we all get in the car again and go find Mary's accomodation? Where are you kipping up Fairy?
The Plaza - nothing but the best for me
Hear it's mighty busy though - all this census business means rooms are now folly booked in this part of town
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Good idea, Brian. You're cleverer than you look.
Now, I am sure Joseph said the Plaza...
I wonder where that would be.
Look out for the biggest, poshest hotel in all of Bethlehem. He said nothing but the best for me! ![[Love]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(Donkey wakes up in front of the Plaza) Now we're talkin'! This is more like it! (Donkey sits up grinning) as they pull up to the valets.
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
[Slaps donkey around the face]
You're still 5 miles from the plaza dumb beast ... well at least the concussion will wear off eventually.
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[Slaps donkey around the face]
You're still 5 miles from the plaza dumb beast ... well at least the concussion will wear off eventually.
Don't think that's concussion mate - more like knocked out man
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Thanks, I think ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif) . (Looks around the back seat, finds some more brownies hiding under Joe's socks).
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
OK - everyone aboard, we're off to Bethlehem.
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
OK - everyone aboard, we're off to Bethlehem.
Thanks Brian
Now turn that music UP
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
[Turns key]
[a chug, a chug, a chug, a chug, phat]
em ... we have a small problem.
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
At last!
Mary takes one last stretch and then manouevres herself back into the front seat of the Skoda, leaning over to scratch the donkey behind the ears again as a gesture of reconciliation, sweet girl that she is.
Take me to the Plaza!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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