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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 14: Flight to Egypt and Grand Finale
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
Small children can travel for a small supplement as long as they sit on a parents lap.
What about godmothers?
I enjoy sitting on laps I do ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
How much, then... Bethlehem to Cairo?
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Leans against shed
Tiring work, this mass-slaughter.
Drags deeply on cigarette
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
# Virgin Mary, sweet and mild ... # ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif)
em ... ... thats a txt excuse the ringtone
Pesky customers, never trust a startup!
txts back CHANGE OF PLAN, KEEP FILLING HER UP, WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE, PLAN FOR CAIRO.
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pontius Pilot:
Sitting slumped in a downtown Bethlehem bar, Capt. P. Pilot keys into his mobile...
CHAIRMAN BRIAN... JUST REFUELLNG PLANE FOR 2NITES FLIGHT 2 IBIZA. NO PASSENGERS SHOWD YET (AS USUAL). AW8 YR INSTRUXIONS. PONTIUS
I knew someone had rewritten the script!
Got you! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Ibiza indeed!
(Don't know what they teach them in school nowadays). ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
# Virgin Mary, sweet and mild ... #
em ... ... thats a txt excuse the ringtone
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
What's that I can hear beeping inside this shed?
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
# Virgin Mary, sweet and mild ... #
em ... ... thats a txt excuse the ringtone
Pesky customers, never trust a startup!
txts back CHANGE OF PLAN, KEEP FILLING HER UP, WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE, PLAN FOR CAIRO.
Phew.
At last someone's sticking to the script around here.
<Gives Brian an approving beam, and makes to pat his head in a suitably maternal manner>.
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Pontius Pilot
Nativity Play
# 3700
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
OK then...Will Mr S Pilot, last heard of in a small and rather doubtful bar down the road from the theatre, kindly contact the Directors of tHe SOF Nativity Play, NOW!
OK, OK. And it's P Pilot, if you don't mind.
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aka simon
Posts: 24 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Leans against shed
Drags deeply on cigarette
Hold on a minute, Brian. Would you believe the stupidity of it, someone smoking right next to the barn with all this hay lying around. Where is Health and Safety when you need them?
I'm just going out there to tell him ... doesn't he know there's a mother and two small children in here, one of them the Son of God at that! We don't want an accident now, do we?
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Bethlehem to Cairo ... hmmm.
Well, if you'd booked last month it'd have been €40 a head, but since it's such short notice ... pay the pilot when you get on.
[hears noises outside]
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh everyone!
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
I can definitely hear voices inside here...
I'll just finish this fag, then investigate.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mother Mary:
Hold on a minute, Brian. Would you believe the stupidity of it, someone smoking right next to the barn with all this hay lying around. Where is Health and Safety when you need them?
I'm just going out there to tell him ... doesn't he know there's a mother and two small children in here, one of them the Son of God at that! We don't want an accident now, do we?
Hold on a mo - let me deal with this
*Picks up bucket of water from back of stable and throws it over the cigarette smoker*
Phew - don't know what was in that bucket but it sure did pong...
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(tries to stop Mary) how about I go out there? I think it's the henchman, and he doesn't look so sweet...I'll talk to him if you'd like...
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pontius Pilot:
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
OK then...Will Mr S Pilot, last heard of in a small and rather doubtful bar down the road from the theatre, kindly contact the Directors of tHe SOF Nativity Play, NOW!
OK, OK. And it's P Pilot, if you don't mind.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) No problem.
Quite catchy that, 'P Pilot.'
<Hums gently under her breath>
P the Pilot, can he fly it!
P the Pilot...
all together now...
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Hey!
My cigarette's gone out! And I'm wet!
Really not happy about this.
Draws sword and turns the handle of the shed door...
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
NO MARY! - Everyone hide!
[curles up behind the manger]
(there is a manger ... isn't there???)
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Thank you Fairy Godmother... would you mind going out and fetching the terries back in, though? They should have been soaked clean enough by now, thank goodness.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3, annoyed by the lack of Pringles, leaves the stable, and head-butts, at full speed, the first person she sees]
Baaaaaaaaaaa.
*thump* *whomp*
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Ha! Very Good Fairygodmother! I like it! Do it again!! ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
NO MARY! - Everyone hide!
[curles up behind the manger]
(there is a manger ... isn't there???)
PROPERTIES!!!!
![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
<Henchman's mobile phone rings>
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Hey!
My cigarette's gone out! And I'm wet!
Really not happy about this.
Draws sword and turns the handle of the shed door...
*Leans against door with her full weight*
Lucky I chose sumo wrestling rather than yoga at nightschool
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Mary notices the babies haven't been fed recently. She picks them both up and takes them conveniently behind a haybale...
[ 22. December 2002, 21:47: Message edited by: Director ]
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Pontius Pilot
Nativity Play
# 3700
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Posted
Capt. P. Pilot reads text from Sir Brian and shakes his head wearily. Texts back...
CAIRO? NOT ON MAP YET. HOW ABT GIZA? GOOD 4 PYRAMIDS. PONTY
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aka simon
Posts: 24 | Registered: Dec 2002
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
txts P Pilot
JUST BUYING U SOME TIME ... TOLD THEM U'D TAKE PAYMENT - TAKE WHAT U THINK IS FAIR ; )
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 remembers that she came to the stable to retrieve a couple of bells so she could go to rehearsal. Returns to stable, trampling on Henchman, lying in the mud, in the process.]
Baaaaaa.
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Henchman answers the phone, and walks into the stable
Hello?
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(follows out after sheep, does some extra trampling.... runs back into the stable)
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
The children are both, needless to say, totally silent... even Lavinia.... while their mouths are otherwise engaged
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
Oh Moses! [covers mobile to suppress ring tone]
txts CAIRO / GIZA, SAME PLACE INNIT?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
Henchman?
How's the murdering going?
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Black Angel
Nativity Play
# 3676
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Posted
Slouches in moodily from Wardrobe. Leans up against the outside of the shed and eyes the Evil Henchman up and down. Pointedly
You smell funny.
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Peronel, Black Angel and Typo Slayer extraordinaire...
Posts: 91 | From: Floating on a little black cloud | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evil Henchman:
Hey!
My cigarette's gone out! And I'm wet!
Really not happy about this.
Draws sword and turns the handle of the shed door...
*Leans against door with her full weight*
LOOK I CAN'T KEEP THIS DOOR SHUT FOREVER WILL YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE - LIKE RIGHT NOW!
DO NOT PASS GO
DO NOT COLLECT £2000
COMPRENDEZ?
[ 22. December 2002, 23:25: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Donkey:
(follows out after sheep, does some extra trampling.... runs back into the stable)
Go for it, Donkey!!
(This is more like it!)
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Since Henchman doesn't seem to stay down, Rudolph butts him one more time to make sure.
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
Shoos away the angel-thingy
Er, not bad boss... not bad!
Sheep bleats
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(looks stupidly like a normal donkey, noses about in manger, looks up at henchman)
HeeHaw!
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
Serene voice whispers out from behind haybale...
So, how quickly do you think you could get us there? And have you got room for the luggage?
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
How many kids you done so far?
<Hears sheep and donkey>
Wait a minute, where are you?
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Black Angel
Nativity Play
# 3676
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Posted
quote:
Shoos away the angel-thingy
Pulls herself up to her full height of five-foot nothing and spreads her purple wings. Safety pins jangle randomly from some of the feathers. She happens to be between henchman and the shed door.
Don't shoo me, you nasty little man.
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Peronel, Black Angel and Typo Slayer extraordinaire...
Posts: 91 | From: Floating on a little black cloud | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
In a stable - I heard noises.
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Pontius Pilot
Nativity Play
# 3700
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Posted
Capt. Pilot texts Sir Brian from taxi on the way to Bethlehem's "Gatwick" airport...
NO, FRAID I MUST CORRECT U. GIZA = SEVRAL MILES OUTSIDE CAIRO. FLIGHT WILL B FRM TERMINAL 5. FINE ABT THE MONEY :-)
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aka simon
Posts: 24 | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Donkey
Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(comes up to henchman, begins to nose into pockets looking for Pringles, starts to take a bite out of henchman....!)
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Little Beast of Burden....ha!
aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Black Angel
Nativity Play
# 3676
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Posted
Black Angel leans forward until her face is near Henchman's mobile. Long and slow, she wolf-whistles down it. That should get him into trouble
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Peronel, Black Angel and Typo Slayer extraordinaire...
Posts: 91 | From: Floating on a little black cloud | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Herod
Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
A stable???
You're supposed to be out killing children! Stop wasting everyone's time and get onto the house calls!
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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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A very naughty boy
Nativity Play
# 3677
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Posted
[attempts to smother mobile as it rings away again]
[whispers across to Mary]
how many of you are flying?
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Romanes Eunt Domus,
Brian.
[strathclydezero]
Posts: 92 | From: Somewhere else | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
<Tries out another little ditty>...
Pilot P,
Pilot P,
Pilot P and his...ummm? Errr? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Come on folks - Join in!
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Mother Mary
Nativity Play
# 3799
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A very naughty boy:
[attempts to smother mobile as it rings away again]
[whispers across to Mary]
how many of you are flying?
Well, so far there seems to be the two children, the donkey, the fairy godmother, me and Jos... Looks round stable ..er.... you! Oh, and the luggage, of course.
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Over 500 posts? No wonder I am exhausted. Wake me in the spring, if you please.(Smudgie)
Posts: 203 | From: Escaped back to real life at last. | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Evil Henchman
Nativity Play
# 3705
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Posted
But boss-
The Henchman is forced to hold the phone away from her ear for a short while. In doing so, she once more shoos off the angel and kicks the donkey
I know boss, but...
But...
You don't understand...
Ok... I'm going! I'm going!
Henchman hangs up the phone and storms out of the stable. She jumps into the jeep and speeds off
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I've left my toasting fork with my alternate personality Sarkycow.
Posts: 118 | From: The Guardhouse | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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