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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Offencesenslessness
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
The mention of Bill Gates's turgidity brings to mind a mental image from which * shall never recover. But * 'm sure you knew that.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
OY! You aren't supposed to perpetuate disturbing images! You're supposed to take a swig of Fernet, keep a stiff pair of lips, and carry on!
* 'm running out of F-B, and that pisswater ain't cheap, you know! You Totally Owe Me Now.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Fernet Branca tastes like a horrible nightmare Nyquil had.
There, * said it. Somebody had to.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
No, it tastes worse. It tastes like our dying life. Or living death. Same thing, sayith Augustine.
You don't read Augustine obsessively? Philistine.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
As it happens, * am 1/16th Philistine,. * have a cher***ed photo of my great grandmother in her native dress. Racist.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
***ist
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Ooooh, rude things ...
DT
Circstyx Host
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Seriously, DT? Could you not handle this little bit of tame Hell in your own domain? Did you have to send it to its parent realm? Did you have to make it follow me…okay, at least it's not Mornington Crescent, so * 'll grant that.
Still, there's a difference: Hell is for settling petty and trivial scores; the offense thread is for complaining about them. Thought you would have learned that by now.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
Petty and trivial?! Is that the level of respect you have for the high level of discussion which goes on in this lower level realm?
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
They put me in charge.
Draw your own conclusions, boopsie.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
And on and on, Ariston and on and ...
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Really? You mean my Greek name is also the name of an appliance brand? Well slap me upside the head and call me Kenmore! Thank you for this tidbit. * 've never heard that before.
Ever.
From anyone on the Ship.
—ὁ Ἀρίστον, ἀρχόν Κόλασῃ
[ 20. September 2014, 01:02: Message edited by: Ariston ]
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Lord. Really? As if we'd be ruled by a gar***ly painted mythical washer in size 60 shoes who flunked out of hosting the Circus?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Black: How does something "Excellent", "Great" and SQUAT (bursting the bubble of its own grandiosity somewhat) have size 60 'shoes', * .e. human feet RIDICULOUSLY scaled up. An Oscar Pistorius ATAT? More like Mrs. Shufflebottom. Pot. * mean you are this.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
I'm offended that this is still here.
Much as I love my favorite parts of my old baliwick coming back to visit me (*sniff*), it's time to return the toys.
Back with ye!
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
Your offendedness is an offence under the Offensive Offendedness Act of 2014.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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fullgospel
Shipmate
# 18233
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Posted
I am offended that you mention that 2014 Act which is unheard of in Moritania (which is ) already in the year 2024.
Don't ask ! ....
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on the one hand - self doubt
on the other, the universe that looks through your eyes - your eyes
Posts: 364 | From: Rubovia | Registered: Sep 2014
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I will ask if I damn well please. In fact, I'm asking, OK? This is my asking face: ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Language, bunny! Didn't your mother ever wash your mouth out with soap for using profanities?
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Hippies don't use soap.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Let me expound upon that: I Haight to criticise, but how can you expect an unbathed, patchouli drenched, orgy-exhausted, drug-fueled, pseudo-mystic to be aware of what language she used? We should applaud that she can still manage a reasonable approximation of language.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Now I am thoroughly , completely, irrevocably pissed off.
"Orgy-exhausted?" Where the hell do you get off? I suppose there was an invite that didn't come through in the mail.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
Huh! If an invite DID come in the mail, I doubt you would have been able to comprehend it, given the abysmal level of your reading skills, as evidenced by the drivel you come up with regularly.
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Wow, we haven't had one of these in a while.
It is funny you refer to reading skills when you apparently haven't used them to read the rules of this game. This game is not about merely insulting someone. Any pigfucker with a gallon of Molson Golden in them can insult someone (Hi,RooK.)
No this game is about locating that which is offensive in the post above yours, and pointing out to them what areas need improvement.
SO, basically while your, um, clever riff on my reading skills has-- oooh hurt me deeply, yes, you big mean man--what exactly were you offended at?
Or are we meant to read your mind? If so, it would be polite to provide a microscope.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Alicïa
Shipmate
# 7668
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Posted
Really Kelly? Really!? Where to begin... Have you heard from the pot lately Ms. Kettle? I don't see where you have kept to those rules either. You say they are at the beginning of the thread but are you sure you haven't just written down your own version on the back of an envelope and then added them in your above reply. Obviously I could check the beginning of the thread but I would lose the edit window.
I think it is disgraceful the way you have insulted poor Oscar. That is before I even mention your outrageous comments on alcholism and bestiality well, quite frankly I am shocked.
[ 03. October 2014, 17:07: Message edited by: Alicïa ]
Posts: 884 | From: Where the Art is. | Registered: Jun 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I resent your scurrilous contentions. I have been properly offended every step of the way.. Go check yourself. Offense offense offense. Because for me it is not a game but a Higher Calling.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Martin60
Shipmate
# 368
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Posted
I resent your resentment of YOUR projected scurrilous intentions, your IMproper offensive offendednessness, every offensive step of the offensive way. Go OFFEND yourself. You OFFENDER you. ooooOOOOOOOH!!!!! Higher calling my ... hat.
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Love wins
Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Alicïa
Shipmate
# 7668
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Posted
Your hat Martin? It's not the only hat in town. Lots of people have hats, have you considered that? I thought not. It's all me, me, me, with you lately.
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"The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world." Georgia Elma Harkness
Posts: 884 | From: Where the Art is. | Registered: Jun 2004
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fullgospel
Shipmate
# 18233
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Posted
how very dare you drag in all the haTS - and haTters !
I turn my hatty face !
witness our hand this 4th day of October in the year o o l 2045 ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
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on the one hand - self doubt
on the other, the universe that looks through your eyes - your eyes
Posts: 364 | From: Rubovia | Registered: Sep 2014
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fullgospel
Shipmate
# 18233
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Posted
oh noooo -- now the true offence of duplicity / doubleness !
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on the one hand - self doubt
on the other, the universe that looks through your eyes - your eyes
Posts: 364 | From: Rubovia | Registered: Sep 2014
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
It is good that your gospel is full because your post is empty.
A skinny, twig of a post with nothing to grasp onto. You enter the banquet hall and present a small, weedy, limp stalk of celery. Into a sommelier's personal cellar and you bring grape juice. You strut in to a house of style wearing a formless bag. You drive the Nuremberg Ring in a Reliant Robin.
In other words, you fit right in with the rest of these peasants.
More is the pity.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
This is the thing with a post like that. It's gonna draw either mousethief or Chastmastr or both, and they are gonna be all over this thread like flies on a ribroast with puns of escalating horrrificness. Have some foresight before you post pun- bait.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
What is wrong with puns? Are we now going to have an anti-pun campaign? Surely the pun is the essence of humour, the highest attainable level? Is pun-ism going to be the Nest Great Oppression?
Without the pun, where's the fun?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Good God, that sounds jusy like something GHW Bush would say, complete with dramatic pauses and uneccesary hand gestures. Thank you for bringing back haunting memories of the First Bush era. I dedicate my nightmares to you.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I am deeply shocked that a purported man of the cloth would stutter at such a word as evolu-wotsit!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
Why are you dragging cheesy corn-based snacks into this? Wotsits are too messy. What's wrong with Hula Hoops?
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
Wotsits, Hula Hoops, you'll be bringing Monster Munch into it next. What is wrong with the simple, humble packet of crisps? Although I really think dragging food around is the height of bad manners and a disgraceful waste of food.
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Humble packet of crisps? An item invented by a chef, served to a billionaire in a fit of pique that ended up launching an industry is humble?
Girl, be aware of your ignorance of vaguely historical, semi-attributable anecdotes.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Girl?!
Did you actually refer to Lucia as a girl? Can there be anything more sexist than that? And what about ageist considering she recently passed her mumbleth birthday?
Show some respect!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Ageist?! Me?! Though I've not known you long, my dear old friend, I could not possibly have more respect for you than I do. I would never suggest that age has brought you senility, I'm sure that your mental acuity is as strong as it ever was and that there is no way it could degrade.
Your level of knowledge is truly remarkable, I am sure you have forgotten more than you ever knew.
For those who have declaimed "He ain't good for nothing", I have corrected them and said that you are.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Zappa, that's a bit personal isn't it? Surely her solipsistic ends are a very private matter for her alone!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
Zappa, that's a bit personal isn't it? Surely her solipsistic ends are a very private matter for her alone!
Butt jokes. Really.
Wod, you gotta give us something to work with here. Lame ass* South Parkian tushie jokes are just not gonna cut it in the high octane offense game we are playing.
Folks, we were limbo'ed once! What happened to us! ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
* yeah, I know.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
I think, for me, it is that I was shocked by the sheer thick-headed, imbecilic, enfeebled, demented, dribbling uttered on a daily basis. It inspired me.
Do not mistake, you have not improved, but I am no longer shocked.
Saddened, disgusted and sometimes nauseated, but no longer shocked.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I'm offended that on a supposedly English language website people can get away with posting such a load of twaddle.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
That I find a hugely offensive statement - I am a Republican [in its proper meaning] and would surely have been on the side of the roundheads during the war between Royal Tyranny and the wishes of the Free Peoples of Britain.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
) of English composition are so cavalierly denigrated.
