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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: I wish I were gay
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
Why do I wish I were gay?
As a white heterosexal male I am the last demographic left who doesn't have a pressure group.
It's impossible (politically) for me to be the subject of racism, sexism, or sexalism.
Nobody cares (politically) about my views, and nobody defends me (politically). I can't be politically incorrected.
If I were to start a group championing White Heterosexal Male's rights, I would be called a nazi.
Arse.
[ 10. March 2003, 00:36: Message edited by: Erin ]
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
I'll bet you really want to be gay so you can have a bus ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
This looks like a dead horse walking, but I will keep it open for now in case something new and interesting is said.
Nightlamp
Hellhost
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I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
IbP said
quote:
I wish I were gay
If it is any comfort I thought you were.
As for a pressure group for us for us white, straight males. I must admit it is a thought that has crossed my mind then I remembered we have all the power already so why bother.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
IbP said
quote:
I wish I were gay
If it is any comfort I thought you were.
P
Why? If I come across so obviously in my posts as being gay, maybe I am...
Incidentally Warrior Tortoise assumed I was gay until she checked my bathroom and found that I did not own any Jean Paul Gaultier shower gel. Apparently thats the defining factor. That and the fact that my wife's stuff is in there too.
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
As a white heterosexal male I am the last demographic left who doesn't have a pressure group.
It's impossible (politically) for me to be the subject of racism, sexism, or sexalism.
Nobody cares (politically) about my views, and nobody defends me (politically). I can't be politically incorrected.
You poor little thing.
Everybody's so mean to you.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Xavierite
Shipmate
# 2575
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Posted
Discrimination against the mentally subnormal goes on all the time, so I can't really see what you're complaining about.
Posts: 2307 | Registered: Apr 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesuitical Lad:
Discrimination against the mentally subnormal goes on all the time, so I can't really see what you're complaining about.
Fair point, I'd comment if I understood what you said. I shall have someone explain it to me.
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Incidentally Warrior Tortoise assumed I was gay until she checked my bathroom and found that I did not own any Jean Paul Gaultier shower gel. Apparently thats the defining factor. That and the fact that my wife's stuff is in there too.
The latter's not always a guarantee...
How do you feel about show tunes?
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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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Lurker McLurker™
Ship's stowaway
# 1384
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Posted
You can't be the subject of Racism, Sexism or Sexualism. You can be the subject of Political Correctness, though.
What's good about P.C is that it's so poorly defined. Don't agree with a newspaper article/book/film/law etc. Then it's Politically Correct, an attack on our White Hetero Male way of life.
So be Politically Incorrect. Anyone who opposes you is Politically Correct and must be stopped.
Now, I'm a White Hetero Male Liberal. Who do I claim is discriminating against me?
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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?
Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
It's impossible (politically) for me to be the subject of racism, sexism, or sexalism.
'Sexalism'? Maybe you have a niche in Semi-literates Anonymous.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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doug
Apprentice
# 474
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Posted
I couldn't agree more.
For instance did you know:
Young White Straight Males (YWSM):
- Statistically earn less than women and people from ethnic minorities!
- Are more likely to be stopped and searched ny the police!
- Are more likely than any other group to be the subject of a racist attack!
- Make up a disproportionate numeber of prisoners relative to other ethnic groups!
- Will have to suffer the pain of 'coming out' as heterosexual to family and friends who may not be sympathetic, and a wider world is often not!
- Are more likely to die in police custody than other ethnic groups!
- Are less likely to make up (or be on their way to making up) the establishment than women, persons from ethinc minortities etc!
Clearly, Something Must Be Done.
d.
ps anyone want a trowel.
Posts: 28 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jun 2001
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anglicanrascal
Shipmate
# 3412
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Posted
Heck - I quite like showtunes... but I don't have the right shower gel... is that higher or lower on the scale than not liking showtunes, but having the shower gel??
Oh this is just SO confusing...
AnglRasc
I want some more hock in my seltzer,
And Robbie, please give me your hand.
Is this the end or beginning?
How can I understand?
Posts: 3186 | From: Diocese of Litigalia | Registered: Oct 2002
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
I think show tunes existed before shower gel... however, maybe before there were either, then just washing was enough to prove you were gay?
You're right, this is confusing.
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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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anglicanrascal
Shipmate
# 3412
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
I think show tunes existed before shower gel... however, maybe before there were either, then just washing was enough to prove you were gay?
Well... either gay or not English.
Maybe you don't want to be gay, you just want to be French... there's not much difference between the two. The French men all kiss each other and carry little handbags... and probably use Jean Paul Wotsisface gel de douche (hey - it even sounds French).
How about it - why not give up trying to be gay and just be French?
Posts: 3186 | From: Diocese of Litigalia | Registered: Oct 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by anglicanrascal:
How about it - why not give up trying to be gay and just be French?
Because I'd never be able to come out tell my family I was French.
{I'll tell you your UBB code is crap.}
[ 21. November 2002, 18:51: Message edited by: Nightlamp ]
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
How do you feel about show tunes?
I find them very inspiring and uplifting, why?
You have tendancies. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif) You could get in touch with them if you want ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
How good are you at colour co-ordination without your wife's help? And have you ever expressed an interesting in interior design and the like?
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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strathclydezero
# 180
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
This looks like a dead horse walking, but I will keep it open for now in case something new and interesting is said.
Nothing like putting on the pressure to kill a thread Nightlamp.
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All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov
Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mrs Tubbs:
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
How do you feel about show tunes?
I find them very inspiring and uplifting, why?
You have tendancies. You could get in touch with them if you want
How good are you at colour co-ordination without your wife's help? And have you ever expressed an interesting in interior design and the like?
Tubbs
I am far better at co-ordinating colours than my wife is. We have arguments about paint which I usually win, and I'm usually right.
I do, however, have little or no interest in soft furnishings.
What does all this mean?
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
What does all this mean?
Umm... you have no life? Or no intellect? Or are missing something else?
Aren't you the guy who admitted to having no dick, or at least a very very small one? Praps you're really a woman, but no one told you?
Viki
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
It means that you have an inner gay man or a highly developed feminine side
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by sarkycow:
Aren't you the guy who admitted to having no dick, or at least a very very small one? Praps you're really a woman, but no one told you?
Viki
Yes I am that guy, but I said that more for the purposes of exciting narative than for any real reason. The size of my penis is quite inconsequential to my political viability.
If there were a pressure group campaigning for equal rights for small-penissed people then it might become an issue. But there isn't. Oh woe.
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mrs Tubbs:
It means that you have an inner gay man or a highly developed feminine side
Tubbs
Inner gay man?
As in 'Do you have any gay in you? would you like some?' ?
My left side is quite feminine, but it's not highly developed. It's kind of a closet femininity. I always choose paints with my left eye, but pick up the tins with my right hand.
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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MrSponge2U
Ship’s scrub
# 3076
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Posted
Maybe it all has to do with the Barbara Striesand CD's that were "accidentally" discovered in IBP's collection. ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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sig? what sig?
Posts: 3558 | From: where two big rivers meet | Registered: Jul 2002
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Tangent: My post was in reference to Sarkycow's post. Tangent over.
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
If there were a pressure group campaigning for equal rights for small-penissed people then it might become an issue. But there isn't. Oh woe.
You could always start one. Hang around hot rod shows and custom car conventions.
Reader Alexis
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
Look guys, much as I appreciate the constant references to my anatomy (and I do, I really do) I made an off-the-cuff comment to Erin after she equated the size of a guys nob to his driving ability.
From that small seed appears to have grown an entire cult. The cult of the small nob.
Now I don't want everyone to think that every thread I start must eventually come round to talking about my genitalia. This was a politically motivated thread, not a confessional one.
And anyway, my wife reads these things and I don't want to upset her ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Scarlet
Mellon Collie
# 1738
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Sexualism. And I am not illiterate, I travel around all the time.
Hey, it's a wonderful thing if this is a "coming out" thread... ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
but I'm quite worried about this statement. What does literacy have to do with travel? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer
Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by bessie rosebride:
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Sexualism. And I am not illiterate, I travel around all the time.
Hey, it's a wonderful thing if this is a "coming out" thread...
but I'm quite worried about this statement. What does literacy have to do with travel?
Literacy has nothing to do with travel.
I was making a pun based on the word 'Itinerate' which means 'travelling around' and 'Illiterate' which means 'Unable to read'
It was an oxymoron, you see I claimed not to be illiterate siting as evidence my extensive travel. Which showed I had misread 'illiterate' as 'itinerate' and therfore confirmed that I was, in fact, illiterate.
It's very complicated I know. But very very funny in my head.
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
I always choose paints with my left eye, but pick up the tins with my right hand.
So you're bi! Even better!
as in bi-sexed?
I am both man and woman, look left and I'm pretty as a picture, look right and I am rugged and hairy.
Is that what you mean?
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Look guys, much as I appreciate the constant references to my anatomy (and I do, I really do) [but] I don't want everyone to think that every thread I start must eventually come round to talking about my genitalia.
But it's much more fun to keep refering to you lack of a penis. It seems to annoy you, which is plus points.
Besides. If we actually talked about what you wanted to, then Nightlamp would close the thread. The tangents are more fun.
CM has his eye on you, you might want to watch your back.
Viki
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
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Scarlet
Mellon Collie
# 1738
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
It's very complicated I know. But very very funny in my head.
I'm so happy for you.. ...pathetic.. I'll be agreeing with this post by Jesuitical Lad, then:
quote:
Discrimination against the mentally subnormal goes on all the time, so I can't really see what you're complaining about.
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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer
Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
And anyway, my wife reads these things and I don't want to upset her
Are you saying that she doesn't know you are genitally challenged?
[BTW - I got the pun]
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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seadog
Shipmate
# 2931
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
And anyway, my wife reads these things and I don't want to upset her
She's bound to find out about the size of your penis sooner or later. Odd way to find out though.
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A good landing is a succession of errors rapidly corrected.
Posts: 433 | From: Isle of Wight, UK | Registered: Jun 2002
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Sexualism. And I am not illiterate, I travel around all the time.
And again posted by IBP:
Literacy has nothing to do with travel.
I was making a pun based on the word 'Itinerate' which means 'travelling around' and 'Illiterate' which means 'Unable to read'
It was an oxymoron, you see I claimed not to be illiterate siting as evidence my extensive travel. Which showed I had misread 'illiterate' as 'itinerate' and therfore confirmed that I was, in fact, illiterate.
It's very complicated I know. But very very funny in my head.
Not an oxymoron, but a non-sequitur ![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
And anyway, my wife reads these things and I don't want to upset her
Are you saying that she doesn't know you are genitally challenged?
[BTW - I got the pun]
And since, Mr. CatInASafe, you know both me and my wife, you might be on hand to lend a little therapy...
Glad you got the pun. Glad somebody got the pun. Now I know it's not just me whose mentally subnormal. Solidarity Brother.
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Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Edward Green
Review Editor
# 46
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Posted
I believe the saying is ' do you have a gay bone in your body - would you like one? '.
Anyway as a Lesibian trapped in a Gay Mans body I really can't comment.
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blog//twitter//
linkedin
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Xavierite
Shipmate
# 2575
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Edward Green:
I believe the saying is ' do you have a gay bone in your body - would you like one? '.
Anyway as a Lesibian trapped in a Gay Mans body I really can't comment.
And how is Lesibia at this time of year?
Posts: 2307 | Registered: Apr 2002
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ChrisT
One of the Good Guys™
# 62
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Posted
So the decorating-JeanPaulGaultier thing is a sign of someone getting in touch with their camper side, yes?
Good job my house looks like a bombsite, and I smell like I've just come back from the trenches then.
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Firmly on dry land
Posts: 6489 | From: Here, there and everywhere | Registered: May 2001
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
<Pedant alert> And 'nob' is spelt with a 'k'. <Alert over>
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Edward Green:
I believe the saying is ' do you have a gay bone in your body - would you like one? '.
Anyway as a Lesibian trapped in a Gay Mans body I really can't comment.
You must be a nightmare at parties.
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhisiart:
Not an oxymoron, but a non-sequitur
A non-sequitur can constitute an oxymoronic point of view. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Miss out the 'oxy-' and I would agree
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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Wandering with Hope
Shipmate
# 3431
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Posted
Why would ANYONE want to be discriminated - hated - and - misunderstood?
People have died - been beaten - been shunned by family and friends all in the name of discrimination.
But yet this is what you wish you had -
Only proves what others have said:
quote:
Discrimination against the mentally subnormal goes on all the time, so I can't really see what you're complaining about.
[Fixed your code even though you don't deserve it ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ]
[ 21. November 2002, 21:24: Message edited by: sarkycow ]
Posts: 113 | From: between the ocean and the mountains | Registered: Oct 2002
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