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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 8: Finding the Inn/The Birth
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
Fawlty Towers, Bethlehem: No Vacancies
So here we are just outside the little town of Bethlehem. As the sun rises above the horizon, a sweet, sweet sound is to be heard. Is it the dawn chorus? No! Inside the clapped-out skoda, A Very Naughty Boy sleeps the sleep of the righteous. The BVM will just have to make the journey into town by donkey. Never mind, it won't be long before she can put her feet up at the Plaza!
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
To Bethlehem we must now shift
Mary is here - she got a lift.
Likewise Joseph will soon have arrived
As to come in a limo he contrived.
Will Joseph wonder where Mary's been
(In a car with Brian, in the last scene)
I doubt it though, 'cause they'll both be delighted
Back with each other to be united.
The question now is where are they staying
And I will bet that Joseph's praying
That they will find, somewhere, a place
A hotel or guesthouse that's got space.
For Mary's time is drawing near
She'll soon give birth, that is quite clear.
So let us see what is to be done.
Who will make room for God's own Son?
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
<Sotto voce>
I think Brian's sleeping the sleep of the just.
I wonder what Mary's doing. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary yawns, stretches, and glances at the sleeping Brian beside her. He looks so sweet and angelic when he's asleep, it's almost a shame to wake him.
She becomes aware that the loud snoring that she heard every single time she got up to answer the call of nature in the night (thanks, Lavinia!) has suddenly been replaced by an eerie silence. She glances at the back seat.
Where's the donkey?
And what's that note pinned to the top suitcase????
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Mary reaches over to the back seat... an interesting challenge in itself!... and grabs the note
Hay, Mary, got hungry in the middle of the night, and the Pringles and brownies are all gone. Headed for the town up ahead, and thought while I was dining, I'd go ahead and get everything all washed and ready for the twins. It's the least I could do for someone who kindly scratches behind my ears. Hope you don't mind, took the credit card, but left you the phone. When I'm done, I'll check you out at the Ritz.
Signed,
two hoofprints
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Cow
Nativity Play
# 3656
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Posted
<lumbers on stage left>
Er.... moo.
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Anybody ever seen a whale in a cow outfit before?
Posts: 41 | From: Stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
<Sotto voce>
Best thing that donkey can do is find a nice quiet stable with a mangerful of hay that he can get stuck into in peace.
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
*'Morning Has Broken'?*
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
The sound of a cockerel crowing three times reminds Mary that... ooops, wrong bit of the Bible. Try again. The sound of a lark singing sweetly in the tree reminds Mary that she should be meeting Joseph at the Plaza any moment now. The skoda is obviously out of action, Brian is sleeping as sweetly as ickle Jesus, the donkey's scarpered... there's nothing for it but....
Fairy Godmother, Fairy Godmother, wake up! Fancy a nice early morning stroll?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
Ughhhh phght grrrph
![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
A limousine pulls up alongside the skoda. Joseph hops out.
Oh Mary, there you are! I've been looking all over! Hope you slept ok...
What's for breakfast?
Notes Brian. Looks to Mary. Looks at Brian again. Turns to Mary.
Um.
Who's this?
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Never mind who's this?
Looks pointedly at limo
What's THAT?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
grhhph pgthgh hummph sherrup wil you?
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
<Jedi Knight walks around a strange vehicle.>
Hmmm, so this is a strange place for a pregnant lady to sleep. I'll just meander over to that little "Honey and Locusts King" joint, have some breakfast, and keep an eye on things.
JK sits in a clown-shaped cafe chair back center stage...
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Err...
Lightbulb above head moment.
Why, it's YOUR chariot, babe! I'm not having you walking all the way from here to the Plaz-
oh no.
Oh no no no no.
Another lightbulb above head moment.
Mary dearest, you did phone the Plaza like I asked you to, didn't you?
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
<From prompt box - to Chief Stage Manager>
I don't think much happens in this scene - how about setting up a celebrity smackdown, Jedi Knight against Fairy Godmother?
Winner to take on Archangel Gabriel.
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
All right, I am done with this.
*starts banging on the wall*
Lemme outta here!
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Brian is a nice man.
A very nice man.
A very very nice man.
HE wouldn't leave a pregnant woman to travel into Bethlehem through this traffic on a ickle donkey while he travelled in luxury. Chariot, my foot! You think I believe that, Joseph Carpenter and you've got another thi....
Penny drops
ME phone the Plaza?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Cow:
<lumbers on stage left>
Er.... moo.
Welcome to our play, Ms Cow. I hope you enjoy your stay with us. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Just one point... Lowing is permitted, nay, positively encouraged within the precincts of the holy stable. Scattering dirty great cow-pats like confetti is most definitely not!
Ask the sheep what happened to them after my little 'accident.' ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
da da daaaaaaa!
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
<From prompt box - to Chief Stage Manager>
I don't think much happens in this scene - how about setting up a celebrity smackdown, Jedi Knight against Fairy Godmother?
Winner to take on Archangel Gabriel.
I heard that - I'm only pretending to sleep you know
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
All right, I am done with this.
*starts banging on the wall*
Lemme outta here!
Ooooooooooh! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Look, we can talk about this later. I think you'd better get me to the Plaza quick!
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
<From prompt box - to Chief Stage Manager>
I don't think much happens in this scene - how about setting up a celebrity smackdown, Jedi Knight against Fairy Godmother?
Winner to take on Archangel Gabriel.
Yeah, you got it! Ringside to be at upper stage right. Fight time 15 minutes. Warm up, you two!
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Cow
Nativity Play
# 3656
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Posted
<shuffles across stage and exits, stage right>
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Anybody ever seen a whale in a cow outfit before?
Posts: 41 | From: Stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
The blessed Virgin realises, of course, that Joseph is just having his little joke about the Plaza, to divert attention from the limo. Perhaps she has misjudged him really, perhaps he had planned the limo as a surprise all along. He's such a sweetie, and he's being so understanding about the babies too. ![[Love]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Wouldn't I just look all big and brave picking on a teensy little fairy????
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
All right, I am done with this.
*starts banging on the wall*
Lemme outta here!
Ooooooooooh!
Look, we can talk about this later. I think you'd better get me to the Plaza quick!
<Director pales. Hisses at Musical Director>
Can you remember if anyone was cast as midwife?! ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Wouldn't I just look all big and brave picking on a teensy little fairy????
You think? My money's on the Fairy.
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
Is that light I see?
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Cow:
<shuffles across stage and exits, stage right>
Ahem...
You wouldn't be Passer By 3 in disguise would you?
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
All right, I am done with this.
*starts banging on the wall*
Lemme outta here!
Ooooooooooh!
Look, we can talk about this later. I think you'd better get me to the Plaza quick!
<Director pales. Hisses at Musical Director>
Can you remember if anyone was cast as midwife?!
Don'y worry - Nanny Off is an experienced midwife (well in the books you know) ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
ME phone the Plaza?
Yes, YOU. Like we agreed.
I can't believe this. I fill out the forms, I defend your honour, I get my own Pringles, I make tea, I keep your limousine pristine... and you! You can't even remember to do ONE TINY THING.
JUST ONE!
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
And now I find you with some tramp kipping next to you. I bought the whole anonymous conception thing, but if you're determined to make a man lose his rag, you're going about it the right way.
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Fairy Godmother:
quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
<From prompt box - to Chief Stage Manager>
I don't think much happens in this scene - how about setting up a celebrity smackdown, Jedi Knight against Fairy Godmother?
Winner to take on Archangel Gabriel.
I heard that - I'm only pretending to sleep you know
Wake up, you are taking on an additional role. If you thought your first was exciting.......
Herod and the Evil Henchman can't keep all the physical violence to themselves....we need to heighten the intensity tonight.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
Is that light I see?
No
Mary, still in her rather dishevelled looking blue dress, sidles into the back seat of the limo, with her legs very firmly crossed
Hey fairy, can we offer you a lift?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Fairy Godmother, you suppose we can work up a little display to amuse these folks? I actually do better helping people than bullying them. Maybe I could be the midwife?
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Looks at Mary.
Why are you making those odd noises?
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Jesus' evil twin
Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
List of things to do once I'm on the outside:
1. Kill animals
2. Kill sexist pig of a stepfather
3. Find nearest vodka bar
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Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
Grumphfth...phfth...fth
*Opens eyes and realises there is daylight*
Oh hell - what day is it?
Late for work again....
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Joseph... did I hear you correctly? You're kidding me, aren't you sweetheart? I know you've booked the honeymoon suite at the Plaza. You promised! Go on, tell me you're joking.
Hmmmm?
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Director:
quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
quote:
Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin:
All right, I am done with this.
*starts banging on the wall*
Lemme outta here!
Ooooooooooh!
Look, we can talk about this later. I think you'd better get me to the Plaza quick!
<Director pales. Hisses at Musical Director>
Can you remember if anyone was cast as midwife?!
Good luck getting the Understudy onstage.... ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Jedi Knight
Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
I sense a great evil in the Force. Perhaps I should stick around for this birthing.
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jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Fairy Godmother, you suppose we can work up a little display to amuse these folks?
So much for that idea.
How about a tag-team match. Jedi and Fairy against Herod and Evil Twin?
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Realises current "blame Mary" tactic isn't working so well.
Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I was so... there was so much to do... I just... I... well, I thought you...
I forgot.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 enters stage righf]
*jingle*
Baaaaaaaaaa
*sheep plop*
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Fairy Godmother
Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
Fairy Godmother, you suppose we can work up a little display to amuse these folks? I actually do better helping people than bullying them. Maybe I could be the midwife?
You do the dirty work - I'll do the swearing for her
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It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Sheep 3
Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 attempts to climb into limo]
*jingle jingle*
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
*jingle jingle*
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jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Look, there is not, repeat not, going to be any birthing right now... YOU HEAR ME LAVINIA????
Serene again
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Can you have a white wedding in blue?
(Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Director
Nativity Play
# 3664
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 enters stage righf]
*jingle*
Baaaaaaaaaa
*sheep plop*
Groan
Here we go again!
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Miffy
Posts: 109 | From: Her physiotherapist's couch | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Narrator:
How about a tag-team match. Jedi and Fairy against Herod and Evil Twin?
Even better. Narrate it in and it's a go.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
time for something to lighten the mood: 'Pretty Baby' by Vanessa Carlton.
Still trying to find an 'Evil Baby' song...
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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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