Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 8: Finding the Inn/The Birth
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Angel 3
 Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: If those Wise men were Wise ladies instead, they'd be here with clean sheets, towels and boiling water.
But they're Men - I left them snoring in a heap at the Yerushalem Hyatt. What a night...
-------------------- The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
 Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 (still with plaits, bows, and bells) meets up with Rudolph and heads toward stable, hoping for some hay.]
*jingle*
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*jingle, jingle*
*jingle, jingle*
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Cow
 Nativity Play
# 3656
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep: Bored with wandering around, walks back toward the stable in back of the inn. Could use a good nap, Rudolph thinks. Hopes he gets to the haypile before that cow does.
Baaaaaaaa!
Get your thieving hands off! Haven't you got some cud to chew or something?
Ugh! This stuff smells of beer and sick! Oi! Rudolf, here's some hay for you!
quote: Originally posted by Joseph: Kicks cow. !
Ouch! This is only a play isn't it?
-------------------- Anybody ever seen a whale in a cow outfit before?
Posts: 41 | From: Stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Excuse me... anyone??? I could do with a bit of help here. Could the heavenly host sing alleluia or something to attract attention away to another part of the stage for a while? Musical Director, I'd appreciate a bit of music to cover the shouting (which I'm planning to do right in Joseph's ear!) And surely somewhere there's a midwife with embroidered towels and hot water at the ready? I mean, it's bad enough that I am surrounded by sheep and a cow! Hmmm.. thinking about it, I think this is the first time in the whole play that I have not been surrounded by sheep.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
 Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I am FREE AT LAST!
-------------------- Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Fairy Godmother: quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: If those Wise men were Wise ladies instead, they'd be here with clean sheets, towels and boiling water.
You can be midwife - too messy for me
I'll do the swearing like I said earlier - I'm good at that
OK!!
JK taps Joseph on the shoulder..
Joe? Would you like me to give a hand? I have boiling water here. I stuck my lightsaber in the water bucket and that did the trick. I can also use it to cut the cords, you know.
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
 Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Fairy Godmother: quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: If those Wise men were Wise ladies instead, they'd be here with clean sheets, towels and boiling water.
You can be midwife - too messy for me
I'll do the swearing like I said earlier - I'm good at that
*Sigh* !! Is Jedi Knight playing the Midwife?
-------------------- The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: quote: Originally posted by Fairy Godmother: quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: If those Wise men were Wise ladies instead, they'd be here with clean sheets, towels and boiling water.
You can be midwife - too messy for me
I'll do the swearing like I said earlier - I'm good at that
OK!!
JK taps Joseph on the shoulder..
Joe? Would you like me to give a hand? I have boiling water here. I stuck my lightsaber in the water bucket and that did the trick. I can also use it to cut the cords, you know.
OK, this is your grand moment....
Make sure Jesus is first, won't you!!!
Aghhhh! Too late!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Sure! I can do midwiffery! My best friend is an OB nurse, and she told me all about it!
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
 Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: quote: Originally posted by Fairy Godmother: quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: If those Wise men were Wise ladies instead, they'd be here with clean sheets, towels and boiling water.
You can be midwife - too messy for me
I'll do the swearing like I said earlier - I'm good at that
OK!!
JK taps Joseph on the shoulder..
Joe? Would you like me to give a hand? I have boiling water here. I stuck my lightsaber in the water bucket and that did the trick. I can also use it to cut the cords, you know.
Thank you.
![[Not worthy!]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
-------------------- The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
 Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Jedi Knight, you're so kind. Although I'm not entirely sure who or what you are. But beggars can't be choosers. Help all you can.
Turns to look at Mary, who has something slimey emerging from her.
Oh man... and ooze... I don't feel so...
Faints.
-------------------- Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Cow
 Nativity Play
# 3656
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sheep 3: heads toward stable, hoping for some hay.]
There's some nice hay here you can have.
No, over here!
quote: Originally posted by Virgin Mary: I mean, it's bad enough that I am surrounded by sheep and a cow!
What's bad about it then?
-------------------- Anybody ever seen a whale in a cow outfit before?
Posts: 41 | From: Stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
JK holds Evil Twin by the ankles
I've got her , and I'll keep her out of mischief.
Push!!!
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
 Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
That's just *%$&* typical of a man ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
No no no, never mind HIM! He's been in that state many a time before...
![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
 Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
*points Glock at Jedi knight's head*
Put me down right now.
Now where's that damn cat?
-------------------- Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
 Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
Baaaaaaaaa
*jingle*
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
 Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Virgin Mary: Excuse me... anyone??? I could do with a bit of help here. Could the heavenly host sing alleluia or something to attract attention away to another part of the stage for a while?
(Plainchant Alleluia with faux guerdon by Viadana) Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia Time for Joseph to do the riiiight thing/ Delivering our new born King! Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia
(She then sings the Hallelujah chorus from the Messiah, doing all four parts. Where are the other angels? This business of singing bass and soprano is a bit wearying )
-------------------- The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Herod
 Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Virgin Mary: And surely somewhere there's a midwife with embroidered towels and hot water at the ready?
Forget the midwife, what you need is a mohel.
I believe my Henchman has a knife - I've just ordained him, by the way.
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: JK holds Evil Twin by the ankles
I've got her , and I'll keep her out of mischief.
Push!!!
No no.... get her out, get her out. I'm doing a deal with Herod over this one!
Muses on the irony of this thread being held back by flood control
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Jedi Knight easily disarms small baby girl.
OK, sister. You're too little to play with the kitty. Here, suck on this binky.
Where is the Messiah????
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jesus' evil twin
 Nativity Play
# 3702
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Posted
I don't want no damn pacifier, I WANT THAT CAT.
-------------------- Erin (of course)
Posts: 54 | From: my own room (finally!) | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
One down, one to go...
Herod, I don't know what you're doing in the stable, but you seem like a nice guy. Would you just take care of Lavinia while I concentrate on bringing forth the Messiah? Thank you soooo much.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Passer-by 3
 Nativity Play
# 3711
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Posted
[Enters stage right, heavy laden with several large carrier bags of shopping. Exits stage left, still struggling under the weight of those same aforementioned shopping bags.]
-------------------- (W)
Posts: 30 | From: The Wings | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sheep 3
 Nativity Play
# 3663
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Posted
[Sheep 3 eyes the baby being held by a strangely-garbed human]
Baa.
[Sheep 3 retreats to a far corner of the stable]
Baa. *jingle*
[Sheep 3 finds a neglected pile of nice, clean, sweet hay in the far corner]
Baaaaaaaaaa.
*munch*
-------------------- jlg the sheep
Posts: 278 | From: lost in a pasture | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
 Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Looks up at the manger, to see a very evil looking baby.
Phew! And I thought the other sheep smelled bad.
Sticks tounge out at evil twin.
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
JK runs to bar with evil baby girl. Hands her to Chief Comic Shepherd..
Here, my good (but smelly) man. Hold this child, and don't give her to anyone except Herod, or his Evil Henchman.
Runs back to stable...
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
In between giving birth to the twins, Mary serenely grabs Sven out of Herod's pocket and throws him to comparative safety in the orchestra pit. He lands head first in the Musical Director's tuba, thus muting the sound. Now Mary can concentrate on producing the Messiah uninterrupted.
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
 Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
Never fear Mary, Donkey is here!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
 Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
*parphhhhhhhhhhhqsk*
Who's this? Landing in my tuba indeed!
-------------------- ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 3
 Nativity Play
# 3687
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Virgin Mary: One down, one to go...
Herod, I don't know what you're doing in the stable, but you seem like a nice guy. Would you just take care of Lavinia while I concentrate on bringing forth the Messiah? Thank you soooo much.
Herod is Not Your Friend either O blessed one! Mind you, he and Lavinia/Cyril/Letititia are amde for each other.
-------------------- The artist usually known as Duo Seraphim
"Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est."
Posts: 76 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
JK waves hand in front of Herod...
The child you are looking for is in the bar. Go, take it...
Herod leaves with a dazed look in his eyes.
OK, Mary honey....anytime you're ready!
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Donkey: Never fear Mary, Donkey is here!
About bloomin' time, donkey! Where were you when I needed you? If you'd been there, I could have made it to the Plaza in time and bypassed Rent-a-Rabbi!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
 Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight: JK runs to bar with evil baby girl. Hands her to Chief Comic Shepherd..
Here, my good (but smelly) man. Hold this child, and don't give her to anyone except Herod, or his Evil Henchman.
Runs back to stable...
Wot the *&^%$?
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
 Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
< to donkey >
Wise Ass!
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fairy Godmother
 Nativity Play
# 3695
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Donkey: Never fear Mary, Donkey is here!
Oh what?
Where the hell did he spring up from?
Oi - blabbermouth - shut your cakehole there's a baby asleep
-------------------- It could only be Nanny Ogg
Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
 Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
(laying down calmly by Mary's side, patting her hand, scratching her behind her ear)
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jedi Knight:
OK, Mary honey....anytime you're ready!
Right, here goes....
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Herod
 Nativity Play
# 3649
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Virgin Mary: In between giving birth to the twins, Mary serenely grabs Sven out of Herod's pocket and throws him to comparative safety in the orchestra pit...
Pah! You think I'd carry the moose around with me?
That was merely a rat I was saving for my lunch.
-------------------- #I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#
Stoo
Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
 Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
You're 'avin a laugh, you are!
I comes in 'ere to get away from wives and babies and wot-not!
places evil, spitting child firmly on floor.
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Good job, Mary! He's perfect...in more ways than one!
JK washes baby Jesus gently, wraps him in clean swaddling cloths, and hands him to BVM.
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
 Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
It's a BOY! Let me get the blue layette stuff out!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Joseph
 Nativity Play
# 3666
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Posted
Comes round.
Our baby! We did it! Oh Mary, I'm so proud of us!
Thank God!
-------------------- Joseph, the not-so-Jesuitical ex-Lad.
Posts: 177 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002
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Musical Director
 Nativity Play
# 3651
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Posted
*Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!*
-------------------- ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...
Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jedi Knight
 Nativity Play
# 3686
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Posted
Wow! Sixteen minutes apart! Lots of work for BVM!
-------------------- jj says-Don't y'all bad guys be messin' with those babies, now y'hear?
Posts: 61 | From: Fort Misery, Flour-dough | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Cow
 Nativity Play
# 3656
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Posted
Ewwwwww! That's disgusting covering all my food in slime like that!
Lumbers over to Mary and the babies
Do you mind?! I have to eat this stu.... Awwwww! How cute! What a beautiful halo too! This one looks kind of cute in an off-beat sort of way, even though it doesn't have a halo.
Sudden flashback:
quote: Originally posted by Jesus' evil twin: List of things to do once I'm on the outside:
1. Kill animals
..er no. I don't think this one is nice.
Er.. Moo.
-------------------- Anybody ever seen a whale in a cow outfit before?
Posts: 41 | From: Stable | Registered: Dec 2002
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Virgin Mary
 Nativity Play
# 3653
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Posted
Donkey, I am afraid all the babyclothes were left in the car, along with the travel cot and all the other bits and pieces. There's no crib for a bed. Where on earth is the little Lord Jesus going to lay down his sweet head?
Hey Joseph, wake up! Come and see our gorgeous little baby boy. He's the image of his dad, look! And could you rustle up a manger while you're at it? He needs somewhere to sleep!
-------------------- Can you have a white wedding in blue? (Smudgie)
Posts: 287 | From: Down the road from the carpenter's shop, Nazareth | Registered: Dec 2002
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Donkey
 Nativity Play
# 3752
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Posted
I'm just getting all teary eyed here, this is so wonderful! (Donkey grins, looks from Mary to Joseph, back again) I think I'm gonna cry!
-------------------- Little Beast of Burden....ha! aka Lady A
Posts: 74 | From: 4WD The Swamp | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Comic Shepherd
 Nativity Play
# 3660
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Posted
Because evil twin is screaming uncessantly, CCS picks her back up, and pours some Old Bethlehem Peculiar into a sheep-feeding bottle he happens to have hany, spits on his hanky, cleans the teat, and stuffs it into her mouth. He is astonished by her pump-like action, and the way the bottle implodes
Bloody 'ell!
-------------------- I be also known as Moth!
Posts: 137 | From: Near Bethlehem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
 Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
< nose glows >
Ah, this is a much more beautiful and pleasant baby than that other one.
I would bow, if, sheep could bow.
-------------------- I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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