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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Knockout Quiz 2005
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Quizmaster
Quick quipper
# 1435
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Posted
BRONZE MEDDLE WINNER : MRSPONGE2U
The Final is a battle of wits between ...
HAZEY JANE
and
CUSTARD
May the best wit make the best fit.
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The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions.
OR=========================================
The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.
Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
I'd like to take this opportunity to say that whatever happens, it has been good fun competing and thank you very much to Quizmaster for organising it and for the rest of you for being such good sports.
Oh, and well done Hazey Jane for when you win. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Quizmaster
Quick quipper
# 1435
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Posted
THE FINAL: A DETAILED SUMMARY
The two finalists must now produce a detailed summary of the Knockout Quiz in such a format that it is easy to read and will give me all the answers I would need if anyone were to ask any question about the Knockout Quiz 2005.
Points will be awarded for accuracy and also for originality.
Also Rans, to pick up their point, should PM me any question they think the summary should cover. I shall then use the questions to assess the value of the detailed summaries received from each of the contestants.
You both have until the usual witching hour of 22:00 British Actual Time on Saturday 3rd December to PM me your summary.
Good Luck to the pair of you! ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[ 28. November 2005, 21:08: Message edited by: Quizmaster ]
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The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions.
OR=========================================
The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.
Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Custard.:
I'd like to take this opportunity to say that whatever happens, it has been good fun competing and thank you very much to Quizmaster for organising it and for the rest of you for being such good sports.
Oh, and well done Hazey Jane for when you win.
I'd like to echo Custard's comments. Although he has clearly got that last bit wrong. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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MrSponge2U
Ship’s scrub
# 3076
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Posted
I must congratulate the two finalists. Your wits are quite superior and I applaud you. And many thanks to Quizmaster for putting up with all of this lunacy. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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sig? what sig?
Posts: 3558 | From: where two big rivers meet | Registered: Jul 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Again, for your entertainment while we wait, here are some previous entries - this time the seafaring songs:
This is to the tune of "The Skye Boat Song", (by Custard).
What do we do when at a loose end?
Go to the Ship of Fools.
How many days, weeks, months must we spend,
Here on the Ship of Fools?
Chorister's babes, Quizmaster's crew,
Tatfests and talking mules,
Heaven and Hell, right here for you,
All on the Ship of Fools.
What do we do when at a loose end?
Go to the Ship of Fools.
How many days, weeks, months must we spend,
Here on the Ship of Fools?
The Knockout Quiz, 2k and five,
Many and complex rules,
Who will go out? Who will survive,
Now on this Ship of Fools?
What do we do when at a loose end?
Go to the Ship of Fools.
How many days, weeks, months must we spend,
Here on the Ship of Fools?
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And here is Hazey Jane's account of what was really in those ships:
I saw a ship come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
I saw a ship come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the Morning.
And what was on that ship so free
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what was on that ship so free
On Christmas Day in the Morning?
Heaven and Hell and Purgat’ry
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
Heaven and Hell and Purgat’ry
On Christmas Day in the morning.
Pray, who sailed on that ship so free
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
Pray, who sailed on that ship so free
On Christmas Day in the morning?
Chorister, Rugasaw, Jedi Judy
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
Carex and Doris and little Smudgie
On Christmas Day in the morning.
And what did they play competitively?
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
And what did they play competitively
On Christmas Day in the morning?
A challenging quiz, intelligently
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
A challenging quiz, intelligently
On Christmas Day in the morning.
And now there are just only three
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
And now there are just only three,
On Christmas Day in the morning.
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And here is the SloopJohnB as you have never heard it before, courtesy of Mr Sponge 2U:
I set sail on the Ship of Fools
Eyeing a treasure of jewels
But an alligator sleeps in front of the stash
So I climbed up to the deck
And I found out, what the heck
There was a party going on
Captain Simon offered me some gin
And Quizmaster invited me in
To play some games of luck and skill
I asked Sine for some advice
And the shipmates were so nice
I’m having such a good time
I don’t want to go home
So hoist of the Ship of Fools sail
With a round of lagers and ale
We’ll all be hunted and caught
By the Orthodox Plot
But we’ll sing and dance the night through
------------------------------------------------
Anyone else wish to share their entries while we wait in suspense for the final nailbiting verdict?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
No interval would be complete without the wordy summary of all that has gone on before. Yes, that's usually when you go and put the kettle on for a cup of tea. But before you do, pause a while for a moment of thought - brought to you by our own Quizmaster (and then make the cup of tea):
THE ENTRY FROM QUIZMASTER
CIRCUS: TOM DAY PRESIDING
Sir Vice is Son Day
THE SERMON
Life is a series of adventures and today I am going to take you on one of mine.
In the beginning was the quiz and the quiz was with Quizmaster. He was soon joined by a mighty throng all eager to participate in the journey.
The throng gathered at a place called Limerick, and one round
begat another round which begat yet another, much like life in Ireland really is.
As we set off on our journey we took in cities all over the world. Some of the team tried to get as far away from the others as it is possible to get, but we returned at supper time to a healthy meal of fruit and vegetables.
Soon we were passing volcanoes aboard a variety of cruise liners as we visited many African countries before settling down to watch some British Football on television.
Settling into an assortment of American states we found many varieties of Australian Wildlife under an assortment of flags, being monitored by many orbiting satellites.
As we explored the ski resorts we tried to guess the number of ski runs and work out where to place explosive charges to reduce the risk of avalanche.
When things started to settle down we started a number of debates before listening to a variety of strange sounds along with some music and a few videos.
We got on board river and lake boats for an exercise in share dealing which gave us the incentive to make up some new games to while away our time. One of the games had us standing on a plate trying to tip one person off while we had to guess the total left in the bank at the end of the week.
Those still left with us set each other a personal challenge before we were asked to express our experiences in a manner which could benefit others.
I must say that as I set out on the journey I had no idea where it would take me or any of the others but the one thing I can say is that it has been an experience, and I have learned a lot, made new friends, and look forward to recounting the tales over a drink or two for years to come.
Jesus and his friends had adventures around 2000 years ago and these are recalled early on in the New Testament. I like to think that Jesus and Judas can laugh about it all now and I am sure that Jesus has forgiven Judas but the key to the laughter is whether Judas can forgive himself knowing the part that he played in ending the adventure of Jesus. What do you think?
N.B. The expanded version of this sermonette, complete with links by Hazy Jane, can be found here, together with other entries in this round. Now, hurry up, or your cup of tea will be cold......
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Bravo, bravo!
I'm in a Christmas song!! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
I should like to point out that any omissions of Shipmates from my song effort were not designed to exclude - I just could only fit so many in!
Glad you're happy JJ
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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rugasaw
Shipmate
# 7315
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Posted
Sorry Custard, I shall have to root for Hazey Jane to take the red ribbon. After all I got included in a christmas song .
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Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children. -Unknown
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Even though it said you spent the morning of Christmas Day on the Ship of Fools?
I never did see the point of that song, even if it was well adapted by HJ.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Custard.:
Even though it said you spent the morning of Christmas Day on the Ship of Fools
Doesn't everyone?!
I haven't actually composed my final entry yet. Busy week. I have a feeling I shall be delighting in the position of 'runner up'. But it's been fun
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Don't worry - I haven't started either and it looks like a busy day today.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
What would happen if neither of us got around to it, I wonder?
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
I imagine it would be a draw...
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Not a bad idea at all...
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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rugasaw
Shipmate
# 7315
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Posted
I imagine Christmas morning I will be on the ship while SSoS is taking her midmorning nap.
Custard, you have a dangerous idea. You both do nothing and therefor both win. Or does one of you submit something while the other does not thinking no one will. ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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Treat the earth well, It was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children. -Unknown
Posts: 2716 | From: Houston | Registered: Jun 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
PM'd with just a minute to spare.
Now that's brinksmanship, if I do say so myself. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Well, managed to get something done, but how well it scores remains to be seen.
It was kind of a mixture between an attempt at epic poetry and crazed satire on the same genre (like the claiming to all be in iambs forces an anapest instead of an iamb). Oh, with Ian Fleming's famous rule about rereading what's been written thrown in for good measure.
Oh well, it was fun playing
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
And if we're playing brinksmanship, I agreed to go out for dinner with a friend who texted me earlier in the day and only just got back.
Oh, and I managed to insult lots of people in the summary...
[ 03. December 2005, 21:10: Message edited by: Custard. ]
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
What with the sermon, the sonnets and now this, I reckon it'll only be a matter of time till I start dreaming about the progress of the Quiz. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
At least it should end very soon....
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
You aren't possibly insinuating that you might be tired of playing a game that started FOUR MONTHS ago are you?!
Incidently, when was the last KO Quiz and who won it? I've been lurking or posting for about 18 months and don't recall such a thing, but then I was a late convert to The Circus.
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Not quite four months (needs another week and a half).
I might have commented on that in my summary...
No idea about the previous ones - did try looking for them when the quiz started but didn't get very far.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Makes me wonder what I'm going to do with my spare time when it's over though.
Wait a minute....
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
Well, QM hasn't read my PMs yet. And nobody is here cheering us on from the sidelines.
Oh yeah - it's Saturday night. I guess some people have lives.
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Not that you're nervous about it or anything....
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
Not nervous, no. Cos I know that you've won.
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
So why did you bother entering this round?
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Experience clearly suggests you're better at writing stuff and I'm better at solving ridiculously obscure (and pointless, but fun) puzzles.
But it's bad manners to persuade you you're going to win, so I'll stop.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hazey Jane:
And nobody is here cheering us on from the sidelines.
Oh yeah - it's Saturday night. I guess some people have lives.
GO HAZEY JANE!
GO CUSTARD!
Sigh... Some of us who are at work wish we could have lives...
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
Thank you Carex!
quote:
Originally posted by Custard.:
So why did you bother entering this round?
Because I thought that after all this time it would be a bit lame to go out for failing to make an effort.
Let's just see if the haikus help me. Ooh, giving my game away there...
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
Maybe this one would have been more appropriately called the "Dropout Quiz"?
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
Thanks Carex.
I guess in some senses I am a dropout, so it kind of fits...
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Oh, for goodness' sake you two - stop telling each other that you're not going to win and play the jolly game!
quote:
Originally posted by Hazey Jane:
Incidently, when was the last KO Quiz and who won it? I've been lurking or posting for about 18 months and don't recall such a thing, but then I was a late convert to The Circus.
It was well over 18 months ago - our esteemed Quizmaster has been rather busy getting married and hunting for a job since then (you know - real life.....) I'm afraid I don't remember who won the last quiz - but I do seem to remember that Babybear featured prominently in it. The Circus probably didn't exist then - I expect it was on the old all-encompassing Heaven board.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
[QB] Oh, for goodness' sake you two - stop telling each other that you're not going to win and play the jolly game!
We have! We've done our bit - got our entries in by the deadline last night. Just waiting for adjudication now...
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Tom Day
Ship's revolutionary
# 3630
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
It was well over 18 months ago - our esteemed Quizmaster has been rather busy getting married and hunting for a job since then (you know - real life.....) I'm afraid I don't remember who won the last quiz - but I do seem to remember that Babybear featured prominently in it. The Circus probably didn't exist then - I expect it was on the old all-encompassing Heaven board.
The Circus has now been going for over 2 years - I think the last KO quiz was on The Circus - it was started around 2 years ago - Just after Christmas 2003 I think.
Tom
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My allotment blog
Posts: 6473 | From: My Sofa | Registered: Dec 2002
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hazey Jane:
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
[QB] Oh, for goodness' sake you two - stop telling each other that you're not going to win and play the jolly game!
We have! We've done our bit - got our entries in by the deadline last night. Just waiting for adjudication now...
At least she didn't tell us to get a room...
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Quizmaster
Quick quipper
# 1435
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Posted
O.K. I am here and the Quiz has ended leaving only the Final Judgement to decide the winner.
As I like both efforts I shall put them up on the Mad Tour board for comment and analysis by the Also Rans.
You can relax as there is nothing more to do.
Thank you one and all for playing the game.
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The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions.
OR=========================================
The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.
Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
And thank you once again Quizmaster for organising it.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Me? impatient? never! I was, of course, erm, thinking of the first knockout quiz......
Anyway, while you await the verdict of all verdicts, here - by gracious permission of the Quizmaster himself - are more results from the previous round:
THE SONNETS:
From HAZEY JANE
In response to Smudgie's challenge (in the Elizabethan/Shakespearean style, in iambic pentameter )
O whither do the Sponge and Custard go
When they are not aboard the Ship of Fools?
It is beyond all of us here to know
Without the aid of smart detective tools.
The Sponge: it's said he is an engineer;
While Custard, he prefers to go and teach.
In either job, one has to persevere
And we applaud the industry of each.
But head-to-head in battle they have gone
To see which of them has the finer mind.
Though through the course they have both brightly shone,
Which is the greater, we will shortly find.
One will not win, and he will bear the hurts,
And both, it's hoped, will get their just deserts.
From MRSPONGE2U
This is the sonnet I sent to dear Smudgie in honor of the other fine contestants in the final round of this knockout quiz:
Custard, meeting you would be sweet
It would really be a treat
Better than drinking an Irish Cream
Or an egg filled with Cadbury’s Crème
Alas I cannot write like Longfellow
My pen is much too mellow
But I can say “You’re a Jolly Good Fellow”
Hazey Jane, you shine with magnificent light
Brighter than the Northern Lights
Finer than a dragon queen
Cat woman is not nearly so keen
As a shipmate, your talents are unique
And shine each day of the week
Your avatar is oh so chic!
Thank you
MrSponge2U
From CUSTARD
As progress through this Knockout Quiz has shown,
There are some here of quite uncommon skill,
And it is a great honour to have known
Those of such mind, such knowledge and such will.
The beautiful red lady Hazey Jane
Has stunned us with the brilliance of her thought.
Despite a shaky start, she knows her name
And will not at the end be left with nought.
A little yellow sponge addressed to me
Has mastered every problem that's been set,
And though he lives in fruit beneath the sea,
He seems to have avoided being wet.
I could not hope to beat such a great two.
My round is over, Smudge, it's up to you!
[ 05. December 2005, 08:06: Message edited by: Chorister ]
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
From HAZEY JANE
Here the entry I sent to Carex:
---
To the tune of Greensleeves
Alas, my sieve, you do me wrong,
To drain my spuds so sloppily.
Though I have loved you well and long
It’s time to think alternatively:
Green sieve was all my joy
Green sieve was my delight,
Green sieve used to drain my veg
But now it can do nothing right
A colander will serve me well
And leave my food firm and in tact.
It will not bend or warp or tear
But shall stand firm, and that’s a fact
Green sieve was once my friend
But now has failed and been replaced
Green sieve is in the bin
Alongside all organic waste.
From MRSPONGE2U
I sent this answer to Carex:
A song in praise of a very overlooked but essential household item. the Spatula
To be sung to the tune of Veggie Tales: Silly Songs with Sponge
What would I do without my spatula?
What would I do, oh dear?
My eggs would be so runny
And my hamburgers so crusty
Without my spatula to keep them flipped right
Oh where is my spatula,
I can’t swat these files buzzing around my face
And my back itches without something to scratch it
But when I need my spatula most of all is when
I need to stir by pitcher full of tonic and gin.
Thank you very much
MrSponge2U
From CUSTARD
To the tune of "Baa Baa Black Sheep". And yes, I know it's the same tune as "twinkle twinkle", but I'm using the metre from BBBS:
Hey now, dishcloth, why look so distressed?
For my cleaning, you're the best.
Mopping up spillage, cleaning grime,
And managing to do it all in double quick time.
Hey now, dishcloth, why look so distressed?
For my cleaning, you're the best.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
RUGASAW's Challenge: Bodeen Sequence.
From CUSTARD
I don't know about "Bodeen sequence", or who Jethro Bodeen was, though Jethro Bodine was a character in "The Beverly Hillbillies", who was renowned for being a dozen or so cans short of a six-pack.
But the next number in your sequence should be
111221
followed by
312211
then
13112221
and
1113213211
and so on...
CORRECT
The answer from RUGASAW is as follows:
1,11,21,1211, 111221
Do you need to know how it is generated?
Start with 1. The next number is a count of the first number (one 1). The third number is a count of the second number (two 1). the fourth number is a count of the third number (one 2 one 1).
Well done CUSTARD, we should have you on the team to explain some of the Knockout Quiz answers next time around.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
And, finally, JEDI JUDY's Challenge:
From HAZEY JANE
Here is the answer I sent to Jedi Judy:
---
In response to your challenge:
I would construct a complex burglar deterrant system in the style of Heath Robinson. I obviously can't draw it here, but it would involve a large quantity of barbecue sauce being dumped on the burglar upon entering a room, and then a heater/the oven being switched on by a complex set of pulleys, such that the temporarily blinded intruder thinks s/he is about to be barcued and promptly scarpers.
How does that sound?
From MRSPONGE2U
I sent this answer to Jedijudy:
In response to your inquiry about a creative use for BBQ sauce that doesn't involve food:
I would like to announce a new product for the hermits who like to sit out on their patios without being bothered by bugs or by their nosy neighbors coming over.
With the BBQ fly strip, you can catch bugs before they take a swim in your beer bottle and keep people away.
Simply take thin sheets of plastic, cover them in BBQ sauce, really lather it on there, and hang them outside your back door. Any bugs in the immediate area will be attracted to the smell and land on the strips, and they won’t be able to leave. They check in, but they don’t check out. MWAHAHAHAHA! Then, if your neighbors happen to come over and see these strips of dripping Smoky and Sweet sauce peppered with black nasty bugs, they will run away and never bother you again. So you can drink in peace while sitting on your patio and telling the rest of the world to bug off!
Warning: The makers of BBQ Fly strips are not responsible for a sudden invasion of dogs from the immediate area.
Thank you
MrSponge2U
From CUSTARD
Why not use BBQ sauce (especially extra hot barbeque sauce) to power a bottle rocket instead of water? I imagine the fact it's thicker might mean it could cope with a higher pressure and might get a more sudden launch if you got the exhaust design right...
You could then add a camera (and parachute) to the rocket to get good aerial photos of your area.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
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Posted
I have had a request that we post our final entries here, for the delight (or annoyance?!) of you all. Here is my final effort:
I have decided
To present to you my work
In form of haikus:
The quiz commences:
Players asked to present as
Though an Irish town.
Contestants try to
Find their feet and grasp the rules.
Most are successful.
O, where in the world
Did our Shipmates choose for their
First try? Far and wide
Were the many towns
And cities selected to
Enter into play.
Fifty six began
On the quest, but more than a
Quarter fell at the
First. Perhaps they were
Not au fait with their five
A day? Quizzy courts
Death twice, but survives.
Eruptions prove no problem
For most. Professor
Plots against all his
Fellow contestants but does
Not carry out threat.
Then we all set sail
And have a luxurious
Time away from land.
Where oh where is S’more
Who jumped aboard for the game
But has vanished since?
Next, we head abroad
And compare notes to see whose
Is the biggest. Pants
And Sharkshooter go
To town and split opinion.
Both go through again.
The Beautiful Game
Is our next topic of thought.
Will it be a draw?
No. Doublethink thinks
Twice, and withdraws from the game.
Mad tour site goes odd.
Then we all get in
A State. The mathematicians
Show off their bright brains.
R.D Oliver
Departs at this stage, saving
QM from the sums.
Weird and wonderful
Antipodean critters
Are the next topic.
We fail to save the
Whales, or Pauls, this time around.
Then, we’re sent into
Space, to go round and
Round and round in circles – man
Made and natural.
The rules have evolved
As competition moves on.
Quizzy will take notes,
But fails to stay in
Contention himself, taking
The snow drift with him.
Next, we fly the flag
Of various rainbow states.
Marvin gets the point.
It goes downhill from
Here. Bulgaria is a
Popular option.
Pants removed, we do
Our sums, but Rugasaw’s try
Fails to add up right.
Now onwards, we get
On board another style of
Ship; a warring type.
Fortunately, not
One is hurt. That comes later
When the tangled threads
We weave offend our
Fellow crew, and Carex starts
A war of words in
Hell. All forgotten
Soon though, and Nutmeg’s effort
Continues apace.
Eliminated
Is Ann. Next, we look to hear
And see on the net.
Adverts provide a
Good source of entries. The Prof
Leaves it just too late.
We take to the trade
Floor, don our silly coats and
Pretend we know how
The stock-market works.
Chorister bows out at this
Stage, saving the rest.
We go with the flow
Except for Moth who flies off
Leaving the contest.
All work and no play
Makes QM a dull boy, so
We invent some games
To keep him happy.
Hennah quits, then the balance
Is tipped out of the
Martian’s favour. Next
We guess how thrifty QM
Will be in a week.
Nutmeg is lost and
We turn to each other and
Set hard challenges.
Then we have to preach
What we have practiced before
The Also Rans get
Their turn at setting
Challenges. Now, the final task.
Which Shipmate will win?
[Note: I subsequently PMd QM to ask that the penultimate line be changed to 'Now, the last task', as it was in breech of the rules of Haikus. Which lost me a point, but satisfied the pedant in me!]
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
And here's a copy of my final entry, to save Chorister a bit of time.
Just like my sonnet, this is all in iambs
And five of them per line, without enjamb-
ment. If my rhymes are bad, my wording's worse.
Who gives a flying *@#~ - it's lyric verse!
24
So firstly let us mention Hazey Jane
Who reached the final round with her great brain
She's first to enter when it's useful tricks
Though nearly cost her dearly in round 6.
She won the challenge of the also-rans
And added several people to her fans.
Custard.'s the name I take on Ship of Fools
And in this competition I like rules.
My wit is bettered by insanity;
I want to mention Fred, the manatee.
23
In writing this account we can't expunge
The wonderful career of MrSponge
Awarded the Bronze "Meddle" for his feat,
The Also-Rans brought on his last defeat;
22
Or Smudgie the great helpful little auk
Whose subtle hints and oh-so-gracious talk
Made us all hope that she was going to win
But at the last the sermon did her in,
She had no time from caring for her dad
Whose illness makes us all extremely sad.
21
The challenges got rid of Auntie D,
Her problem was that hers was quite easy.
The Sponge's "Terry Taylor" was obscure,
but Custard's crazy answer swept the floor.
20
Here Nutmeg, the eternal optimist,
Made guesses far too early and she missed,
For Quizzy spent his money all too quick
And left poor Nutty there without a lick.
19
The challenge now was how to tilt the plate
But Marvin left his answer far too late.
Perhaps the allegations on his thread
Caused him to leave the Knockout Quiz for dead.
18
The round for posting games on Mad Tour's site
Gave me and maybe others quite a fright.
Smudgie as normal was by far the best,
But Hennah failed to enter, lost the test.
17
We tried to find the best connected brooks
Hen's "village pond" attracted several looks
But at the last Moth's entry was not found
We fear that here she got so wet she drowned.
16 & 15
Chorister failed to enter round sixteen,
Though here the best were those who were most mean,
While Papa Smurf bowed out the round before
As did great Carex (joined by Rugasaw
and JediJudy set round twenty three
to narrow entrants down to two from three.)
14 (& 15)
With great cacophany of sound and sight
Professorkirkie's exit lit the night
He posted fifteen minutes all too late
For Quizmaster already sealed his fate.
His noise and bluster had seemed rather keen,
But it's forgiveable - he's just 14!
Marv helped us with his techie expertise
But then assailed us with a load of sleaze.
13
Unlucky Quizzie nearly lost his place
For getting us to flood this cyberspace
With threads - "The longest wins" had Quizzie cried
Carex's gumption stuck; 'twas Ann who died.
12
The carnage that so nearly here ensued
Was saved by Christianjimmy, JediJude
Who would not shoot and so, disqualified,
They saved the lives of many who'd have died.
11
Eleven brought us luck at adding blind
But Rugasaw made error and declined.
10
Ski runs were now the order of the day
Pants' was too easy so she had to pay.
9
The round with flags would have been hard to judge
The Rogue and Gort though saw it as a drudge.
8
Quizmaster and the Snowman lost some face,
For failing with things whizzing round in space.
7
Rare species now, some from Taronga Zoo
Jonah the Whale sank with Paul W.
6
State capitals brought out our numbers geek
But RD Olivaw's was not unique.
5
The soccer round dealt with our Doublethink.
Did she look twice or did she stop to blink?
4
African Countries our allotted task,
But Annie P and Dolphy failed the ask.
3
To see good Barnie, S'more and Tabby go,
Da_Musicman, Footdoc and Papio
They did not find an ocean-going ship
And so were punished for this fateful slip.
2
As seven failed to name a volcano,
The rules decreed that they now had to go.
But Sharkie and Tom Day, they lingered on.
As Also-Rans, maybe they should have gone.
1
To find a fruit or veg of longest name
And so begin to climb this wall of fame.
Another sixteen fell at this first fence
Was it a failure or good business sense?
The game has gone full quarter of a year
And though we've reached the end, there is yet fear
That it's all fruitless. For to qualify
We wrote a lim'rick, a mere lullaby
And then thought we of cities, big and tall
And as the numbers playing here did fall -
Full fifty-six there were, but now just two -
The problems started small, but how they grew!
But now the end is here - my time is done.
I'll say no more. Hazey, I think you've won.
--
I pointed out that Pânts' name was wrong and not in bold, for which I too lost a point. But then I'm so pedantic I make sure I always use the full stop in my name.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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Quizmaster
Quick quipper
# 1435
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Posted
And so before we pass final judgement there are a few things to attend to ................
MORE SUBJECTIVE JUDGEMENTS:
22 1 1 0 Smudgie For posting entertainment along with her entry
22 1 -1 0 Tom Day Using a Polish word in his post
22 0 1 0 Nutmeg Impressing Tom Day
22 0 0 1 Hennah A valid question
22 1 0 1 Quizmaster You are far too helpful this time around
22 -1 0 0 Quizmaster Using pictures instead of words to express yourself
22 0 0 0 Smudgie For having a cheap computer with old software
22 0 0 1 Tom Day Explaining to Smudgie what she is missing
22 1 1 1 Nutmeg Making us all feel better about downloading plug-ins
22 0 1 1 Custard It is a very diverse world out there
22 1 0 0 Smudgie I have never known Smudgie to miss out on something
22 0 0 1 Custard For good advice to be patient
22 1 1 -1 Quizmaster For that Roll On Sunday Animation thing
22 1 1 1 Carex For determination and letting us know how big Judy's clip is
22 1 0 0 Smudgie For watching a video clip without sound or vision
22 1 1 1 Jedijudy For enjoying the quiz as much as I do
22 1 0 1 Hazey Jane For getting all excited as we get near the climax
22 1 1 -2 Nutmeg You are my type of girl Nutmeg
22 1 2 0 Hazey Jane Playing the helpless schoolgirl to good effect
22 0 1 1 Nutmeg Helpful advice for the other competitors
22 -1 -1 -1 Auntie Doris And it's not for the first time is it?
22 0 1 0 Nutmeg Taking the Quiz seriously (researching)
22 1 1 1 Marvin the Martian Short sharp and to the point
22 1 1 1 Nutmeg More helpful advice for others
22 1 1 1 Nutmeg You must be a professional by now
22 2 2 -1 Da_Musicman For an unwarranted interjection but I like it
22 1 -1 2 Sharkshooter For volunteering to hold up the rest of us
22 1 1 1 Nutmeg Having sympathy for an old fool
22 0 -1 0 Sharkshooter I am sure you were last when we last played this
22 1 -1 1 Tom Day It is a young man's game this cut and thrust
22 1 -1 0 Hazey Jane Women are supposed to have feelings though
22 1 1 1 Marvin the Martian Having fun is what it is all about
22 0 -1 1 Sharkshooter Pointing out the benefits of tactical manouevres
22 0 1 0 Hennah For getting signed up
22 0 1 0 Custard Doing nothing is the smart move
22 1 1 1 Moth Showing the benefit of experience
22 0 1 0 Hazey Jane You might well be right
22 0 1 -1 Smudgie Not playing the game
22 1 1 2 Sharkshooter For posting up the intermediate table
22 1 2 0 Nutmeg For being the only person to make a profit
22 0 0 -1 Quizmaster For reminding Sharkshooter what a loser he is
23 0 1 -1 Sharkshooter Encouraging others to waste their money
23 1 -1 0 Ann There has been a stock market crash since then
23 0 0 0 Tom Day Hey, Teacher, Leave those kids alone (Floyd)
23 1 1 0 Hazey Jane Ever the optimist which is what we want
23 1 0 0 Rugasaw And you think us British DO?
23 0 1 0 Jedijudy Know your own limitations
23 1 1 1 Nutmeg Giving advice on how to choose shares
23 0 -1 0 Papa Smurf For letting Real Life get in the way
23 1 1 0 Annie P It is nice to see a familiar face
23 1 0 0 Nutmeg Have you heard the track 'Suicide' by Barclay James Harvest?
23 1 0 1 Annie P More advice to the uninitiated
23 2 1 0 Hazey Jane Love that picture Hazey
23 1 0 0 Nutmeg Bringing the feminine thought to the photo
23 1 1 1 Sharkshooter Keeping us all informed
23 1 0 -1 Smudgie That is SUCH a bad photograph
23 1 0 0 Moth Appearing from out of the portfolio
23 1 1 1 Sharkshooter Telling the truth as it is
23 1 0 0 Smudgie And there is the picture of Moth
23 0 1 0 Sharkshooter She shall be cast into the gnashing of teeth alright
23 1 0 0 Carex It is all part of our attempt to bring culture to this board
23 0 1 -1 Custard Who WILL be the richest person in the graveyard
23 0 1 0 Carex For having a mind of her own
23 -1 2 0 Sharkshooter A perfect response
23 1 -1 1 Moth Appealing to my non-existent better nature
23 1 -1 0 Ann It's that little niggle that keeps Christianity so vibrant
23 1 1 -3 Hennah For blatantly boosting the price of her shares massively
23 1 1 1 Hazey Jane For working out where to find men you need them
23 2 -1 -1 Rugasaw Now THAT would be a very easy task. Each trade costs.
23 1 -1 1 Quizmaster So making money is NOT that easy after all
23 0 0 1 Marvin the Martian Posting the latest standings
23 -1 -1 -1 Tom Day Still trying it on - You have to admire his persistence
23 0 -1 0 Hazey Jane ALL the rivers and lakes must be named
23 1 -1 1 Ann For moving her lake from Finland to Russia
23 1 1 1 Ann For that satellite picture
23 1 0 0 Nutmeg Plead successful
23 1 -1 0 Hennah Village Pond qualified as there was a non entry
24 0 0 1 Smudgie For a soothing comment
24 0 1 0 Rugasaw Nice slap on the wrist
24 1 0 0 Quizmaster Poor use of the English language
24 1 0 0 Smudgie Where else would you find a moth?
24 0 1 0 Marvin the Martian It did need a little push to get it going
24 0 -1 0 Auntie Doris Yes it IS bad
24 0 -1 0 Nutmeg Well everybody else managed
24 0 0 1 Hazey Jane Support for Nutmeg
24 0 0 1 Nutmeg Dutiful thanks to Quizmaster
24 0 1 0 Smudgie Thoughtful analysis with the right choice
24 -1 -1 -1 Moth For never letting us know about Botticelli
24 1 0 0 Hennah For the ability to polish her brain
24 0 0 1 Hazey Jane Helpful advice
24 0 2 0 Custard For seeing off Marvin the Martian
24 0 -1 0 Chorister For going on a mad tour without telling us
24 0 1 1 Smudgie Thankyou for clarifying the situation
24 0 1 -1 Custard What are you on about? I would have guessed!
24 0 1 0 Nutmeg The sensible thing is to just get on with it
24 0 1 1 Rugasaw For offering to take your money
24 0 -1 0 Custard As 0=360 I meant between 1 and 360
24 1 0 0 Moth In that case we are glad too
24 0 1 1 Papa Smurf On the button again P.S.
24 0 0 1 Hazey Jane Good sound advice
24 0 1 0 Custard YOU WIN
24 0 1 0 Jedijudy The smartest of all
24 2 0 0 Pure as Snow NO
24 1 0 0 Nutmeg For her ability to count
24 0 1 1 Sinisterial Thankyou for that helpful tip
24 0 1 0 Custard For a correct assumption
24 1 0 0 Custard Nice pedancy
24 1 0 0 Rugasaw They know me too well
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The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions.
OR=========================================
The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.
Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001
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Quizmaster
Quick quipper
# 1435
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Posted
TOP OF THE TABLES:
SMART ALECS
20 Custard
20 Marvin the Martian
17 Carex
17 Smudgie
14 Hazey Jane
14 Rugasaw
HELPFUL LIBRARIES
21 Smudgie
17 Marvin the Martian
16 Carex
15 Papa Smurf
13 Sharkshooter
12 Custard
12 Hazey Jane
ORIGINAL SWINGERS
32 Smudgie
24 Chorister
24 Hazey Jane
22 Marvin the Martian
20 Quizmaster
18 Jedijudy
18 Nutmeg
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The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions.
OR=========================================
The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions.
Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001
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Smudgie
Ship's Barnacle
# 2716
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Quizmaster:
And so before we pass final judgement there are a few things to attend to ................
MORE SUBJECTIVE JUDGEMENTS:
22 0 0 0 Smudgie For having a cheap computer with old software
Oh but QM, it has such a lovely keyboard
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Miss you, Erin.
Posts: 14382 | From: Under the duvet | Registered: Apr 2002
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