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» Ship of Fools   » Things we did   » Nativity Play   » Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route (Page 1)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route
Musical Director

Nativity Play
# 3651

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He's behind you!!

Leaving behind the happy family, our two? four? ten? who knows how many will make it tonight? Wise Men leave to go back to where fromce they came. Or something. But they have to dodge Herod and his spies! Cue lots of running around the stage...

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ChrisT sez: *sigh* Let's take it once more from the top...

Posts: 284 | From: The Bandstand | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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Evil Herod, wicked man
He has got a cunning plan

The Christ child he's going to kill
Our Saviour's blood he wants to spill.

The Magi he has tricked with lies
He's using them to be his spies.

(If he knew how wise they are
He'd make a better plan by far).

He needs to find the new born King
Will they, to Herod, this secret bring?

For while the child lies in the manger
His life is in most dreadful danger.

The henchman's sharpening his knife
Ready to take an innocent life.

Will the plan succeed or fail?
Hear the outcome of this tale.

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Chapelhead

Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Yo! Music Director! We gonna FINALLY get that "Mission: Impossible" theme?

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[Fade-in: establish shot: tour bus departing the parking lot/car park of Mailboxes Etc. where the WM have just dropped shipped the rest of the loo... , er, GIFTS to Nazareth, 2nd Day Imperial Express (gotta save those shekels for the road trip home).

Scene: Interior of tour bus; various exhausted wise men, guys, magi, lap dancers (lap dancers [Eek!] ?) and various and sundry are collapsed in seats.

CWM has perplexed expression on this face. Other WM notice and exchange apprehensive looks [Confused] .

[...will give time for others to play. Nasty critic sez I has to... [Roll Eyes] ]


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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil claps his right hand on the Chief Wise Man's shoulder while his other arm clutches a drink and and a pneumatic armful of lapdancer.

"Ah, Chief, fuhgeddabout dat critic; woid on da street sez he ain't been gettin' any since he lost dat bet and hasta review some lame play, so you might say he's been feelin' a bit dyspeptic.

Anyway, we gotta dodge Herod's torpedoes; dat mook's gonna backtrack us to da Kid if we ain't careful."

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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On the back seat of the bus Wise Man 2 stirs and awakes from unconsciousness.
Awww, my head hurts; what happened?

Notices that his head wound has been cleaned and neatly dressed
Have we a first aider around? someone treated this head wound, and did a very fine job on it.
Head wound? Oh, now I remember I was driving to Bethlehem but was very tired. I must have fallen asleep, a vaguely recall crashing. If anyone will accept a word of wisdom from any of us wise men, don't drive while tired.

Why are my feet covered in animal manure and straw? Have I been sleep walking through a stable or something?

My head hurts. But I'm sure there's something important I need to say ....

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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CWM notices WM2 coming around strides forward to his seat.

What did you say, Two? Well c'mon, man ... spit it out!

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil hands CWM an empty wine bucket.

"Here's point the open end of dis at him when you ask him dat question. Da director's got a wicked sense of humor."

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Passer-by 3

Nativity Play
# 3711

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[Enters stage left wearing peaked cap and ticket-collector's ticket-issuing machine. Exits stage right continuing to wear aforementioned peaked cap and ticket-collector's ticket-issuing machine.]

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(W)

Posts: 30 | From: The Wings | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<The Scene switches briefly to Herod's Palace. Herod is sitting on his throne eating moose liver and sipping a nice chianti. He looks at his watch.>

Hmmm...

The Three Little Pigs (or whoever they are) should be on their way back just about now. S'pose I should get someone to clear up the moose remains really.

God, you'd have thought my late executioner wouldn't have been stupid enough to decapitate him without putting the plastic floor covering down first. Still, we all make mistakes. Once.

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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(Squeaky tannoy reverberates around the Bus)

Good evening your Majesties, ladies and gentlemen and assorted farmyard animals and lap dancers, Bonsoir.

We are now on the road! We will be cruising at a height of approximately seven inches and a speed of about 37 mph. We will be arriving at our destination... erm... we'll tell you just as soon as we have worked out where our destination is. In the mean time, sit back, relax, and watch our in-bus video which tonight is The Cannonball Run.

Oh, and no smoking in the toilets.

Have a safe journey and don't worry about the potholes or bandits or evil pursuers or...

(The tannoy cuts out suddenly in a howl of feedback. Or was it the cat?)

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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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CWM holds bucket for WM2 as he clears his digestive tract

Take it easy, man. Take your time. Tell us what you remember ... Was it important?

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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Oh yes, that was it. I had a dream, a very vivid dream. I'm sure it's important.

I dreamt I was travelling back to Jerusalem when this woman stepped into the road and stood infront of me. She was truly the most beautiful of women, gently glowing and her shear goodness almost knocked me off my feet. She said to me "You can't come this way". So I turned around.

I then took another road to Jerusalem, and the same thing happened.

A third time I turned towards Jerusalem, and again this woman stood in my way. So I asked "Who are you? Why do you block my way?" She replied "I am Molly, an angel sent by the Lord with a message for you. You must not return to Herod, for he has plans to destroy the child that even now your friends are adoring. If you return to him, Herod will learn of where you have been and where to find the child. This must not happen, therefore you must return to your home by another route"

I then saw her walk into Bethlehem, and stand over the sleeping infant in a very protective manner.

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

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Narrator

Nativity Play
# 3680

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
Nasty critic sez I has to... [Roll Eyes]

Take no notice of him. He's just teed off because he's got the hots for Mary and she turned him down in favour of Joseph (or Brian).

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Chapelhead

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Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Looks at watch again>

Any second now...

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Molly, huh?

Hmmm. Monica must have had another engagement ...

Well, hmmm, that sounds serious, indeed. What do you all think? Should we get the TM to turn this thing around and go home by another way?

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Wise Guy enters quietly, a look of despondant haze over his face)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

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Stable Cat

Nativity Play
# 3657

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quote:
(The tannoy cuts out suddenly in a howl of feedback. Or was it the cat?)


*nope, not the cat. stable cat is sitting this one out, safe and warm in the stable.*

puuuurrrrrr......

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nicolemrw says "meow!"

Posts: 85 | From: the stable | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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CWM looks expectantly, with a bit of panic [Eek!] , at his compadres, Phil, WM2 and WG

Guys.... ?

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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[Waterworks] [Waterworks] [Waterworks]

I SLEPT THRU BABY JESUS!!!

(Wipes eyes)

What was that you were saying, 2? We gotta dodge Herod?

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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An insistent electronic BEEPING fills the tour bus driver's cockpit.

Alarmed, Phil dumps the doxie and jumps over a row of seats to the control panel, which he scans anxiously.

"Bad news, boys. We got two Imperial Destroyers on our tail."

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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We cannot ignore a dream so powerful, and from a heavenly being of such goodness. The further we are from Jerusalem and Herod the better.

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(Checks pockets)

well, I still got enough chocolate to last me a while, so I say we take Twoie's--you don't mind if I call you Twoie, do you? -advice and turn this mother around.

(fumbles more with pocket )
Hey wait...my grass-er, gift is still here!

[Waterworks]

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

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Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Shouts to driver
Incoming! Zombie! Zombie!

Set new course to nil-niner-nil!

Let's get the Zorast outta here!

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Herod

Nativity Play
# 3649

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<Back in the palace. Herod is getting a tad peeved.>

God... are these fools never on time for anything?

And where's my fricking henchman?

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#I'm Herod the Great, I am, I am.#

Stoo

Posts: 159 | From: Palestine | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Well, for Godsake put up the deflector shield!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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"Hey, we gonna stand her running our yaps or are we gonna get the lead out? Jerusalem's way too small a town when Herod's on your butt."

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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We can make this real interesting and go by way of Tattoine...

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

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Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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pulls mobile out of robe pocket. Punches the dialpad madly.

Shla! ha tsi go na! Bethlehem ga nopurri Yerushaleyem. Stat!

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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(fumbles at controls)

Hang on hang on...

Where's my road atlas...

OH NO!! I gave it to the infant...

aarrggh...

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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(Ahem) I mean, "righty-ho, Phil! let's get a move on!"

(Strides purposefully toward doomed bus.)

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
pulls mobile out of robe pocket. Punches the dialpad madly.

Shla! ha tsi go na! Bethlehem ga nopurri Yerushaleyem. Stat!

VOOOMMM!!!

(A puff of smoke engulfs the Magic Tour Bus. When it clears, it is seen to be parked outside Le Jerusalem Bar in Lutèce (1st century Paris))

Allô? Allô?

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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
pulls mobile out of robe pocket. Punches the dialpad madly.

Shla! ha tsi go na! Bethlehem ga nopurri Yerushaleyem. Stat!

[Roll Eyes]

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[camera perspective: night sky, high in the clouds. Two black, angular featured obviously attack craft streak in from the East.

Close up on insignia: Osage Nation Self-Defense Force shield with Spears and Laser Arrows.

Craft caroom downwards and come up on the tails of the Imperial Destroyers.

Missiles are fired which streak forward and cause both destroyers to disappear in clouds of fire, smoke and debris.

The Osage SDF attack craft wing back eastwards.


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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil slaps a lever on the console.

An ELECTRONIC VOICE sounds: "Computer engaged, Hi, I'm Eddie, your shipboard computer, and--"

"Can it, Eddie!" snaps Phil. "I read all about youse in da Hitchhiker's Guide and I ain't takin' any crap. Wise Man here's our Weapons Officer, so he says he wants you ta engage da deflector shields."

BWOOOEEEOOOT! Eddie raises the shields.

"Great, now gimme Engineering. Full power!"

"Gosh Phil, I'd love to but I can't. The Engineering computer's keyed to the old Engineer's voice patterns, and I can't override it. You'll have to find someone who can approximate his voice."

"What the f--no, never mind. What'd he sound he like?"

"Scottish."

"Great."

Phil turns to address the bus. "Anyone here speak Scottish?"

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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Nice touch, there, Cheif....

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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(to amazed Le Jérusalem bar manager)

Mais non mais non, il s'agit d'une erreur... mais nous pouvons en profiter pour nous débarasser de nos lap dancers sourdes... vous en voulez? Ah bon... merci

(to Wise Men)

Could whoever did that possibly return us to Palestine, please? We're badly parked and they tow you away in these parts...

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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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I probably have no right to say this, but WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Always pays to keep the numbers for your exchange program security detail handy, I always say ...

Good lads and lasses, them. Glad the council thought to send 'em along when I came over.

Crazy part of the world, you've got here. Will the strife never end? [Frown]

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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"Hey, youse guys! It's about time for a Plot Complication to occur, so youse better strap in!"

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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[CWM, satisfied at the turn of events and that's they are finally headed back East and away from this looney craziness, picks his way aft to find a clear seat. He finds one, settles down, pulls a blanket over. He glances down the aisle to the capable Tour Manager and smiles, knowning that he is safe in sound in the TM's hands. CWM nods promptly off into sleep. The eagle feathers in his dunce cap tickle the person behind who sneezes. CWM sleeps on ...]



[Critic will kindly note that CWM _does_ know how to play with others and keeps his forays into alternative universes to a moderate minimum.]

[ 22. December 2002, 16:22: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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I must still be dreaming, because I've no idea what's going on either. [Confused] Must have been a really bad bang on the head.

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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quote:
Originally posted by Chief Wise Man:
[CWM, satisfied at the turn of events and that's they are finally headed back East and away from this looney craziness, picks his way aft to find a clear seat. He finds one, settles down, pulls a blanket over. He glances down the aisle to the capable Tour Manager and smiles, knowning that he is safe in sound in the TM's hands. CWM nods promptly off into sleep. The eagle feathers in his dunce cap tickle the person behind who sneezes. CWM sleeps on ...]

(Shakes CWM)

Oi!! Wake up!! Paris is WEST of Palestine! Get us back on track with your mobile magic thingy!! Or get us a Fairy Godmother or something!!

[ 22. December 2002, 16:23: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(sitting in tour buss--my chopper crashed, remember?--contemplating the idea that they have just missed being blown to fragments. Pops Ferrraro-Rocher bon bon in mouth to console self.)
Can I go back to mooning over Baby Jesus now?

..Will he forgive me? [Frown]

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707

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(looking with friendly concern at WM2.)

You know something Twoie? I'm glad we got this gig together. You're a real swell guy. How's the head?

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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!

Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tour Manager

Nativity Play
# 3670

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(The Tour Bus is surrounded by 1st century tourists to Paris. They are laughing, pointing at the occupants and generally being disruptive. TM looks around desperately for some kind of supernatural help to return to Palestine, whilst fumbling through French phrase book)

Euh, comment, eh bien ma foi...?

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Let's get this show on the roaaaaaaaaaaaa- *boink* (Eutychus)

Posts: 46 | From: Magic Tour Bus | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Chief Wise Man

Nativity Play
# 3674

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Dazed and confused ... especially since TM seems to have spoken dialog in a quote body [Confused]

Huh? Err, umm, I hope the Good Fairy or somebody with sufficient power (where the TEXAS are the hosts when you need 'em?) to fix this *attrocious* ubb.

Ok, need directions.

CWM Pulls Palm wireless from his robe and flips up antenna. Scratches, pokes and scritches with various hrumphs, errms and hmms. Finally, satisfied look dawns on his face. Hands the palm over to TM

There. There's the directions from mapblast. Something about yellow brick roads and turning at the second star on your right ...

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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.

Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Fairy Godmother

Nativity Play
# 3695

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quote:
Originally posted by Tour Manager:
Oi!! Wake up!! Paris is WEST of Palestine! Get us back on track with your mobile magic thingy!! Or get us a Fairy Godmother or something!!

Did someone call?

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It could only be Nanny Ogg

Posts: 265 | From: Appearing in a pantomime near you | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Wise Man 2

Nativity Play
# 3654

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The head hurts. Even more so as I try to make sense of the past few posts.

Perhaps I need to think about something more sensible. Tell you what, just what have you made of the past few days. Quite weird, right? First that star; then Herod acting strange; I missed most of the visit to the infant (I was unconscious and sleep walking) but hear we left some presents and put the rest in the post; finally that dream and our strange flight.

What does it all actually mean? Do we know who this babe is going to be? I mean really know?

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When I'm not creeping around stables at 2 in the morning I go by the name Alan

Posts: 67 | From: The Orient | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678

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Phil leans back, twists the cap off a bottle of rootbeer, and puts his pink fuzzy slippered feet up on a convenient handrail.

"Ya know, dint we run across a bunch o dem angels back in da stable? Mebbe we could get one of 'em ta help us out?"

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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.

Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



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