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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Scene 13: The Wise Men leave by a different route
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
GO PHIL! GO PHIL! GO PHIL!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
EIGHT PAGES!
My work here is done.
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
WOHOO! WE'VE HIT EIGHT PAGES!!!
(wise guy does victory jig with empty bottle of saki in one hand, a wad of stray wool in another)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
just to make it a non-gratuitous eight pages i am going to sing one last love-song to the sheep...
Who can I turn to
when nobody needs me
My heart wants to know
but still I must go
where destiny leads me...
(Come on everybody, sing along!)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
WOHOO! WE'VE HIT EIGHT PAGES!!!
Virtual high five!
Angel 6 tucks up cloud to neck, takes a well-deserved nap.
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
(OUT OF CHARACTER)
You don't realise, my personal self-esteenm rest so heavily on winning the heart of some sheep...
That's pathetic... are you under the influence of heavily spiked eggnog? Come to your senses! ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
HEY MAN, DON'T JUDGE ME!
Yikes! Didn't you see the winky smilie at the end of my post? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Didn't mean to make you yell.... ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif)
I retract it all.
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
just to make it a non-gratuitous eight pages i am going to sing one last love-song to the sheep...
Who can I turn to
when nobody needs me...
Angel 6 hums "Of the Father's love begotten" while sleeping sweetly...
(Us, gratuitous? Oh, fie!)
![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
(OUT OF CHARACTER)
You don't realise, my personal self-esteenm rest so heavily on winning the heart of some sheep...
That's pathetic... are you under the influence of heavily spiked eggnog? Come to your senses!
HEY MAN, DON'T JUDGE ME!
Yikes! Didn't you see the winky smilie at the end of my post?
Didn't mean to make you yell....
I retract it all.
HEY MAN, I"M DRUNK ON SAKI.
(I was reponding in character. No sweat. Wise Guy's a little indiposed right now.)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
...I retract it all.
Angel 6, mostly asleep, thoughtfully hands CSM another glass of eggnog, then tucks cloud comforter back under chin and resumes sweet dreams, with soundtrack by JS Bach...
![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
And please don't retract it! It was funny!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Angel 6
Nativity Play
# 3709
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Wise Guy:
And please don't retract it! It was funny!
Shhhhhh! turns over, resumes dreams
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Rossweisse // The few, the proud, the angelic
Posts: 133 | From: Heavenly Host clubroom | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(Finally gets the hint, puts finger to lips, and tiptoes offstage)
[ 22. December 2002, 18:58: Message edited by: Musical Director ]
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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chief stage manager
Nativity Play
# 3658
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Posted
Angel 6 and Wise Guy,
It's a pleasure to be in your company. Thank's for the eggnog...
![[Not worthy!]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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The original bessie rosebride.
Posts: 148 | From: stage left amongst the props | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
Phil drains off the last of the 1999 Valpolicella, slaps the bus's "SURFACE" controlas klaxons echo down the bus, then strips off his robe, and climbs naked onto the roof of the now-surfaced sub/bus.
He struts back and forth, then bends over and moons.
"YEAH! EIGHT PAGES! WOOOOEEEE! BITE ME, MR. TIM--TOM-- SIMPKINS-- SUMPK-- WHATEVERTHEHELL YOUR NAME IS CRITIC! YOOOOO! YEAH BABY!"
Phil dances a bit more, then announces:
"OK, drunks-- no, I mean, marg-- margaritas for everyone as soon as we land in friendly turrit-- toorit-- soon as we find a good bar!"
Phil clambers back down the ladder, wraps up in his robe, and, winking at WG, falls into his couch.
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Spare Shepherd
Nativity Play
# 3690
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Posted
Meanwhile up on the hills near Bethlehem, the shepherds are looking at their sheep and er- um- er anything else really. Sheep-minding's kinda boring....
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The last time I checked I was Rowen- really!
Posts: 68 | From: A sheeply village near Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chief Wise Man
Nativity Play
# 3674
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Posted
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
What thu TEXAS *happened* here?
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incurablyGeeking westwardly; avatar following yonder star.
Posts: 87 | From: East of Yerushalayem; Ur mebbe... | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
Phil wakes up enough to crack one bleary eye open and look at the Chief.
"Chief, you wanna get wide with me and do the Cotton Eyed Joe with Wise Guy and Sheep 3 on the roof of the bus? We don't hafta get nekkid unless you wanna."
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
I'm in!!!
(swings empy saki bottle around, climbs bus.)\
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Cummon. Phil ya chicken sh**tt, you started it!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(takes a moment to appreciate Phil's nekkidness...)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
ok, since I am here by muself...
Phil dances drunkenly until he falls off the roof, to the delight of several local urchins...
CWM is moved to tears by our display, and writes several poetic metaphysical works based on our dance....
and as i am dancing, the lovely eyes of sheep # meet mine,and said sheep is finally smitten by the deep true nature of my ardor. Slowly she lowers her eyes, and bats them invitingly.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
Phil climbs back onto the bus roof, wearing only a smile and some interesting scratches.
"Ok, I'm back!"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
"WG, I gotta tell ya, a sheeps-- a shee-- a sheePPP isnot da best choice for your objay duhmoor.
Yes, dey are nice'n'fluffyfluffy'nfluffy'n'alla that, but tell me, what kinda loo-- LIFE are you gonna have with one?
I mean, what woodjer kids like look? 'Ey'd be all...you know. Sheepish.
All I'm sayin' is...all I'm sayin' IS...is...ewe just think about it, 'kay? 'Kay!"
Phil attempts to dance the Cotton Eyed Joe.
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
easy for you to say; where'd you get the scratches?
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
"Ummmmmm...err...Well, let's just say I got 'em when I was pulling myself up the side of the bus, past a window."
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Besides,right now i'm kinda in contro of the mise-en-scene , no?
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
HA!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
Phil rolls his eyes.
"Oooh, 'mise en scene,' eh? We did go to film school!"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
( lower lip starts to tremble. bursts into sobs)
I..I..I ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif) CAN"T GET A LOUSY STINKIN SHEEP TO LOVE ME!!!
AND I MISSED THE BABY JESUS!!!|
I"M SUCH A LOSER!!!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
Phil clutches a hand to his chest in melodramatic angst.
"What? You 'HA!' me?! Moi?"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
Phil looks shocked all over again.
"You? A loser? Why, just cause you're dancing naked on top of a floating tour bus crammed with Wise Men, sheep, lap dancers, a confused shepherd, a mislocated angel or two, all of us escaping the evil King Herod and his Evil Henchman after everyone but you missed seeing the baby Jesus and his family in in a once-in-a-universe miracle-type event foretold ages previous and destined to be remembered and venerated in song and story for all time to come?"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
Phil rolls his eyes.
"Oooh, 'mise en scene,' eh? We did go to film school!"
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
I took one class...
and it fit, didn't it?
Anyway, you aren't addressing my Inner pain, here, you insensitive bastard.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Phil the Wise Guy:
Phil looks shocked all over again.
"You? A loser? Why, just cause you're dancing naked on top of a floating tour bus crammed with Wise Men, sheep, lap dancers, a confused shepherd, a mislocated angel or two, all of us escaping the evil King Herod and his Evil Henchman after everyone but you missed seeing the baby Jesus and his family in in a once-in-a-universe miracle-type event foretold ages previous and destined to be remembered and venerated in song and story for all time to come?"
Well ok, that's something to be proud of, I guess...
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
"You called me an insensitive bastard! That's...that's...that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me this whole play!"
Phil dissolves into alcohol-fueled sobs.
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Back in the stable, Rudolph wakes up. Thinks there must have been some of that wacky tobacco in those cigars he ate yesterday, to make him sleep all day. Looks around the stable, sees the babies sleeping peacefully, along with Mary and Joseph, and a shining angel standing guard. Figures this must have been a pretty uneventful day.
Walks outside. Sees an oddly painted tour bus, with a naked wise man dancing on top of it. Then sees Wise Guy standing next to him. Wise Guy gives Rudolph a very flirtacious glance.
Not wanting to know how any of this happened, or what will happen next, Rudolph runs back into the stable and hides in a pile of hay.
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
Jeez, whaddaya got to do to get to page nine? tellyour life story?
Ok, here goes:
I was born in a hovel in Ur. where the voice of Zoroaster called to me and said "You! you will be a wise one1 but not just wise, but also a man of the people...not just a moan of letters, but a regular guy. You-you will be..a Wise guy.. Yeah that's the ticket. Go therfore, and spread yoyr wise-guyness throughout the world."
And then i hooked up with these two other goons who lead me on this death mission to Jerualem AND I MISSED THE BABY JESUS!
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep:
Back in the stable, Rudolph wakes up. Thinks there must have been some of that wacky tobacco in those cigars he ate yesterday, to make him sleep all day. Looks around the stable, sees the babies sleeping peacefully, along with Mary and Joseph, and a shining angel standing guard. Figures this must have been a pretty uneventful day.
Walks outside. Sees an oddly painted tour bus, with a naked wise man dancing on top of it. Then sees Wise Guy standing next to him. Wise Guy gives Rudolph a very flirtacious glance.
Not wanting to know how any of this happened, or what will happen next, Rudolph runs back into the stable and hides in a pile of hay.
Great. Wakes up just to reject me Thanks a heap.
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(as basic reading skills kick in...)
Gee, I wonder where rudolph's going?
(wanders over to barn)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(Peeks around corner at people in shed)
Uh, hullo?
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
<wipes his nose and honks>
"Okay, I'm okay. I'm sorry, I just needed a moment."
"I am a Wise Man, hear me roar!"
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(Wise Guy takes in the scene, sees the family and child--is a little confused by the Twin--but suddenly it begins to dawn on him what he's stumbled upon. Gingerly approaches parents.)
May I look?
(Somewhere in NoCal Kelly Alves begins to well up)
(wiseguy tiptoes over to manger and peeks in. One baby is peacefully sleeping the other is grinning wickedly up at him. He winks at the grinner. He fumbles around in pocket, produces the last of his ferraro-rocher, lays it in the manger, then tiptoes out.
Wise Guy nods to parents, then leaves)
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
(toddles in a daze toward Phil)
I think I just met the baby Jesus.
And he smiled at me
parumpaumpum...
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3707
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Posted
...and on that note I will go to bed.
Peace,
kel
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KELLY ALVES makes a flip remark and ends up in a play. Hi, Mom!
Posts: 205 | From: Second star to the right | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sheep
Nativity Play
# 3667
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Posted
Having seen Wise Guy pay respect to the sleeping Christ child, Rudolph comes to think he's not such a bad Wise Guy after all. Realizes having the forgot-to-see-Baby-Jesus-regret issues taken care of, this may cure Wise Guy of his unhealty attraction to sheep.
Rudolph climbs out of the haypile and curls up at the side of the manger.
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I may be just a purple sheep with a funny nose, but ThatsMrJuice 2U!
Posts: 110 | From: The Sheep Shed | Registered: Dec 2002
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Phil the Wise Guy
Nativity Play
# 3678
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Posted
"Man, I musta drank some bad stuff! My head!" Phil leans over and noisily yaks into the bushes.
Wiping his mouth, he looks around. "WTF? Last time I checked, we was cruising off the coast of Palestine, semi-submerged, and now we're back at da stable wit da Baby J! O well...."
Phil grabs his ditty bag and an extra Whitesnake tshirt and wraps it around himself like a sarong, then jumps down from the bus, and sees the stable door open.
He creeps toward it and looks in.
The Family of Families is still peacefully asleep.
Phil wipes his eyes and sidles in, stopping at the foot of the manger occupied by the sleeping Deity.
"Kid, it's good ta see youse again. You got a long road ta walk, and it's not gonna be easy. You're gonna need all da love your daddy an' mommy an' family can give youse, so here's my two bits."
Phil takes off his wedding ring. "We lost our stuff at Herod's so we dint have no king-type gifts for youse, so here's some gold as what befits a king."
He rummages in his ditty bag.
"We lost the frankincese, too, da boys at dictionary.com define it as, 'An aromatic gum resin obtained from African an' Asian trees of da genus Boswellia and used chiefly as incense and in poifumes.' So here's my Old Spice deodorant. Best I can do. It's da high edurance, Sport style; stays on longer, smells fresh."
He looks around the stable.
"I don't see nuttin' dat can be myrrh, supposeda be some kinda poifume, according to dictionary.com it's, '...aromatic gum resin obtained from several trees and shrubs of da genus Commiphora of India, Arabia, an' eastern Africa, used in poifume and incense. Also called balm of Gilead.'"
Phil rummages in his ditty bag again.
"Only t'ing I got is my aftershave here, some Brut. Go easy, kid; a lil' goes a long way."
He pulls out some foil-wrapped packets that contain some kind of thin circular object. He looks at them in his hand, looks at the sleeping Infant, then to his hand, then back to the Infant.
"Naw, I don' t'ink youse gonna need dese. I'll hang on to 'em for youse. But hey, you ever do, I'm your guy."
Oh so gently grasping Jesus' tiny wrist with his left fingers, he lightly high fives Jesus' palm to his own.
"You da Man. You da Son of Man, kid. And da woild will never be da same. Glory to God in da highest."
Phils kneels, eyes resting on the gently glowing, sleeping sheep next to the manger, and stands, then honks into his hankie again and quietly leaves the stable.
Walking to the bus, he notices most everyone is asleep.
Laughing, he swings into the vacant driver's position, lights a new cigar, fires up the rumbling engines, and with a hiss of released air brakes, eases the swaying bus onto the night-kissed highway out of Bethlehem, away from Jerusalem.
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So, wheres can I get a drink in dis town? Feels so good ta can dat Kenwritez nice-guy schtick.
Posts: 68 | From: Some burg outside Jerusalem | Registered: Dec 2002
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Narrator
Nativity Play
# 3680
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Posted
To the tune "Hyfrdol"
I will sing the wondrous story
Of the magi's great escape
How they left the realms of Araby,
Got into a fearful scrape.
Yes I'll sing the wondrous story
They escaped Herod's clutches
Foiled his evil plan most gory
Aided by magic touches.
They were lost, Rudolf found them
Brought them to a stable bare
There the worship of the wise men
Was giv'n up to God in prayer.
Then by a warning wisely giv'n
Went back home another way
An angel from the hosts of heav'n
Came to them this thing to say.
Then Herod chased them hard and long
Often they were nearly caught
But with the aid of fairy song
Safe through dangers they were brought.
By bus and plane and submarine
In ways that were wonderful
Guided by forces yet unseen
Back to their homes most restful.
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Chapelhead
Posts: 90 | From: Prompt corner | Registered: Dec 2002
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