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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Difficult relatives
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
She has threatened many times to cut me out of the will for being a communist (I'm not), marrying an Italian (I did), not being a Christian etc.
She's straight-facedly anti-Italian but thinks of herself as a Christian? Whoa...
Well, now that she has three Italian grandchildren, she does like them.
But, hey, I know a few Christians who hardly pass the litmus test of goodliness.
(In fact, there is one person I secretly stalk on Facebook - and I hasten to add, he is the only person - whose background pic says "Repent: Believe in the Gospel" and who has racist, bigoted rants for every post. He has a lot of friends who join in. And they all claim to be Christians).
[ 24. January 2014, 21:08: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
I'm sure you're hung like a donkey, orf.
No idea, but the donkey line goes with his brain and braying.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
I need brain bleach after reading some of the stuff online produced by people who self-declare as Christian. Seems to come from Planet Zog.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Mum cooks meals for me at her house, but refuses to eat food I've cooked at my house.
Okay, you win. She is a bit fucked up.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Barnabas62:
[Nuts jokes have moved into crapper jokes. This is clearly a progression. Will orfeo welcome it?]
What, you mean we've eaten the muesli and now it's coming out the other end? ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Barnabas62:
I need brain bleach after reading some of the stuff online produced by people who self-declare as Christian. Seems to come from Planet Zog.
I've just done a little stalking of my Christian buddy right now, and he's bleating about:
- How John Howard betrayed conservatives by banning ownership of assault weapons
- How inferior indigenous Australian are (on this point, his friend, John says - and I quote - "Their lack of hygiene & intelligence is a direct symptom of their lack of spiritual awakening from the bondage to an idiotic & meaningless culture.")
- How our so-called conservative PM should pay attention to Vlad Putin and learn a thing or two about how to handle sodomites
- Abortion. His favourite topic
I used to get really cross with him, but I was just saying to my daughter, that it makes me immensely happy that he is so dissatisfied with the world and that he will never be happy. (He thinks our current PM is nowhere near conservative enough ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) ).
He apparently has a wife and children. Now, he would be a challenging relative.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Oh Lord. I was just thinking the same about someone else I have the displeasure to deal with daily.
How do such people ever get married?
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
(In fact, there is one person I secretly stalk on Facebook - and I hasten to add, he is the only person - whose background pic says "Repent: Believe in the Gospel" and who has racist, bigoted rants for every post. He has a lot of friends who join in. And they all claim to be Christians).
Who is it who said: "You know you've succeeded in creating God in your image and likeness when he ends up hating all the same people you do."
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
I have never taken Mum out for a cup of coffee. There are things I've done with my daughter that I've never done with my mother.
She's from a completely different generation. Going out for coffee would have seemed terribly wasteful 30 years ago as, I suspect, would be many things you do with your own daughter. And that generation also expected you to fit in with what your elders (and betters!) wanted. They are of their time - some have adapted to the 21st century, but a large number have not. You may need to meet her where she is.
I used to take my paternal grandmother out for coffee.
And here is a thing: Gran was a difficult mother-in-law to my mother, but a brilliant grandmother. I adored her. My father often used to remark that Gran and I were very alike, adding, as if I needed it to be said, that that was not a compliment. Gran spent the last year of her life in hospital increasingly confused. On one visit, I asked her if she knew who I was. "Yes," she replied, "you're me."
How cruel a quirk of genetics is it, that my mother had a difficult mother-in-law and then her only daughter turned out just the same? To give birth to a child who is basically an "in-law" - it must happen quite often, surely?
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
@ LATA
What an asshole. I wouldn't take HIM out for coffee unless I could smuggle a soluble enema into the mix. In Christian love, of course. A kind of gentle correction by a not so gentle purging. (Think I mean enema? Something taken by mouth anyway)
[ 25. January 2014, 08:53: Message edited by: Barnabas62 ]
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Ta. Perhaps a laxative wasn't exactly strong enough for the purging I had in mind?
[Gonna have to be careful of my forays down here. The Dark Side, you know. Where's me light-sabre?]
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Barnabas62:
Ta. Perhaps a laxative wasn't exactly strong enough for the purging I had in mind?
Rusty farm implement?
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Gran spent the last year of her life in hospital increasingly confused. On one visit, I asked her if she knew who I was. "Yes," she replied, "you're me."
That is the coolest thing! It might have been tough for your mother but how amazing for your grandmother, a woman who seems by your description to have probably had a tough time with personal relationships, to have found a true kindred spirit in you.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
@LATA
Stop it!
Seriously, a mite too strong ...
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
The grandmother, grandchild thing is so common that there's a saying about it - 'My grandchildren are so wonderful I should have had them first'.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
For a small fee I awill come over and make passes / inapropriate hugs / ass touch any relies driving you mad. It sends them into a tail-spin and they for ever ask "Is that man going to be there?" and not come if you say "He might be."
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
I'm almost dead with stress this evening after a full on parents and in-laws fest. Plus kids concert and older kid being ill.
What happened to the anxiety thread? I can't find it in all saints.
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Here?
Sorry to hear that Taliesin. There are some good laughs in this thread, but now may not be the right time for that. All the best.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169
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Posted
Another Website has a board called "raised by narcissists". Google the phrase. It is eye-opening for those of us who have not had parental experience with Kelly Alves' mom or similar.
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008
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Dennis the Menace
Shipmate
# 11833
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Posted
I need to have a rant!!
I have an aunt by marriage (Mum's brother's wife) who regularly bombards me with phonecalls etc.
She has a blocked number so I cannot screen her calls. Both Mum and her brother are deceased and Aunty Dot(ty) is in her late 80's and has slight dementia. She has an adopted daughter and son, several nieces and nepews. The son has nothing to do with her (another saga!!) and the daughter seems only interested in aunty's money, and the nieces and nephews give her a wide berth!!
I live 10 mins drive and daughter 45mins, and will ring me with the least little problem, usually when daughter is away/wont answer phone etc. The last was that I didn't visit her for Christmas. No I didn't as she was at daughters, she had forgotten!!
I refused to give her my work phone number but she managed to track it down and has caused me trouble with the boss for doing so. She won't take the hint that I cannot take phone calls from her at work regarding trivial matters that can wait till after hours.
When my poor uncle was alive it was a case of aunty giving instructions and uncle dutifully obeying.
Rant over!!
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"Till we cast our crowns before Him; Lost in wonder, love, and praise."
Posts: 853 | From: Newcastle NSW Australia | Registered: Sep 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Leaf:
Another Website has a board called "raised by narcissists". Google the phrase. It is eye-opening for those of us who have not had parental experience with Kelly Alves' mom or similar.
(cover your eyes, Hellhosts)
Leaf?
I love you, I love you,I love you, I love you,I love you, I love you,I love you, I love you!!!!
Can't stop laughing.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
A typical phone call from my mother will relate to me the details of someone's impending demise.
Her: I have some rather devastating news.
Me to self: Oh fuck, here we go.
Me to her: Oh?
Her: Yes. X* is desperately unwell and will probably die.
Me: Oh, what's wrong with X?
Her: Blah blah blah blah. You should go and visit X. X would like to see you.**
Me: I havent' see X for 10 years. I doubt X can even remember me. I really don't think X cares if I don't go and she him/her..
Her: You really should.
X invariably recovers, although we are told endlessly how s/he "almost died". Most of my very close and very distant family and the ones in between have almost died at some point (including me)***
* insert name of any relative, no matter how distant. Often I need to be reminded who the heck X actually is.
** All our relatives know that when I (or any of my siblings) visit, my mother has declared them "almost dead". She will usually turn up with a camera to take a photo of us with the soon-to-be-deceased so that we can prove we went to see him/her before The End. Grandma, for example, had at least 8 years of her "last Christmas". (You have to come and see Grandma. She won't make it to Christmas/have another birthday etc). Everytime she felt poorly, my mother was there with the camera.
*** I was in hospital and my mother made the calls to give the devastating news to my relatives. I knew something was up when they turned up to my hospital bed without flowers and looking mournful, and she came along with her camera.
[ 26. January 2014, 05:28: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
Leaf - I always reckoned my parents were too selfish and involved with themselves to have had children - narcissistic parents about nails it.
They treated the dog better.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
LATA, any with prostate problems?
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
quote:
posted by Chorister:
She's from a completely different generation..... And that generation also expected you to fit in with what your elders (and betters!) wanted. They are of their time - some have adapted to the 21st century, but a large number have not. You may need to meet her where she is.
Ay, and there's the rub. If you are expected to fit in with what your elders (and betters) want, do you spend your time being a doormat and doing what they want? Do you compromise what's important and meaningful to you in order to fit in with what they want? Do you bow to the emotional manipulation and expectation that you will behave as they want? Do you compromise your integrity to fit with what they want/believe should be? Is that "meeting him/her where he/she is?" Should we shoehorn ourselves into a shape or behaviour that is not who we are, in order to fit in?
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Have any of you considered that you might just be the difficult relative?
I know I am.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
I've seen several examples of a mother trying to prevent the daughter from growing up into her own life.
"You can't move to an apartment now, I have chest pains." (but not bad enough pains to go see a doctor.)
"Quit your job and come home and take care of me." (The Mom was perfectly healthy.)
One woman I know, the Mom kept her home with "I have a rare blood disease, I might heed help at any minute." A man in their church proposed marriage to the daughter, she accepted; the Mom was furious, tried to stop the wedding, tried to break up the marriage.
My analysis - told their only valid role in life is to be a mother, they are desperately trying to cling to their role, since there is no place or purpose for them if they stop being a mother to a child at home.
But I don't know if that's what is going on.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
quote:
posted by Chorister:
She's from a completely different generation..... And that generation also expected you to fit in with what your elders (and betters!) wanted. They are of their time - some have adapted to the 21st century, but a large number have not. You may need to meet her where she is.
Ay, and there's the rub. If you are expected to fit in with what your elders (and betters) want, do you spend your time being a doormat and doing what they want? Do you compromise what's important and meaningful to you in order to fit in with what they want? Do you bow to the emotional manipulation and expectation that you will behave as they want? Do you compromise your integrity to fit with what they want/believe should be? Is that "meeting him/her where he/she is?" Should we shoehorn ourselves into a shape or behaviour that is not who we are, in order to fit in?
My mother did not want me to to do a non-vocational degree.
My mother did not want me to marry my husband.
My mother did not think we were fit to be parents; she spent the whole of my first pregnancy worrying about what a crap mother I was going to be, and telling me how worried she was.
My mother wanted us to stop after two children.
I do not know who I would have been had I been the daughter my mother wanted.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Have you considered cognitive analytic therapy, it will help you work out what dynamic she is pulling you into - and how to exit that constructively.
[ 26. January 2014, 16:22: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Oh, and I feel this thread needs a soundtrack.
[ 26. January 2014, 16:28: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Oh, and I feel this thread needs a soundtrack.
(Because linking on an ipad is a pain in the arse.)
[ 26. January 2014, 16:30: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Haven't cracked that yet, DT, but will now find out how!
(Good to see you BTW)
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
quote:
posted by Chorister:
She's from a completely different generation..... And that generation also expected you to fit in with what your elders (and betters!) wanted. They are of their time - some have adapted to the 21st century, but a large number have not. You may need to meet her where she is.
Ay, and there's the rub. If you are expected to fit in with what your elders (and betters) want, do you spend your time being a doormat and doing what they want? Do you compromise what's important and meaningful to you in order to fit in with what they want? Do you bow to the emotional manipulation and expectation that you will behave as they want? Do you compromise your integrity to fit with what they want/believe should be? Is that "meeting him/her where he/she is?" Should we shoehorn ourselves into a shape or behaviour that is not who we are, in order to fit in?
My mother did not want me to to do a non-vocational degree.
My mother did not want me to marry my husband.
My mother did not think we were fit to be parents; she spent the whole of my first pregnancy worrying about what a crap mother I was going to be, and telling me how worried she was.
My mother wanted us to stop after two children.
I do not know who I would have been had I been the daughter my mother wanted.
I just think you're an absolute saint to phone and visit as much as you do. I can't imagine why you feel even an echo of guilt, except, of course, that that's what you've been trained to feel. Try feeling proud, smug and righteous instead for a while, cos you deserve it.
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Agreed. Your mother sounds utterly dire. NEQ. Mine is just mad with a touch of dire, and that's bad enough..
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
quote:
posted by Chorister:
She's from a completely different generation..... And that generation also expected you to fit in with what your elders (and betters!) wanted. They are of their time - some have adapted to the 21st century, but a large number have not. You may need to meet her where she is.
Ay, and there's the rub. If you are expected to fit in with what your elders (and betters) want, do you spend your time being a doormat and doing what they want? Do you compromise what's important and meaningful to you in order to fit in with what they want? Do you bow to the emotional manipulation and expectation that you will behave as they want? Do you compromise your integrity to fit with what they want/believe should be? Is that "meeting him/her where he/she is?" Should we shoehorn ourselves into a shape or behaviour that is not who we are, in order to fit in?
No, but I do believe there are ways where you can adapt when you are with someone with a different (more old-fashioned?) world view to yours, without compromising your own integrity and way of being. It's hard, but achievable. Saying you'll bear their advice in mind (without any intention of actually following it), for example.
Can anyone remember the TV ad (forgot what it's advertising now) where student writes to gran that he's having a great time - he words it really carefully so she thinks he's the perfect studious old-fashioned boy, but actually he's living it up in nightclubs, etc. Very clever - it's all in the words you use.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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tessaB
Shipmate
# 8533
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Posted
God it's hard isn't it when parents' ideals and children's ideals dont match up!
My mother wants me to be slim, beautiful (but not as slim and beautiful as her), married to a successful career driven man (but with not as much money as her) have slim pretty children who also have good careers, have a big house which looks like something out of House & Garden, and most importantly - stop doing voluntary work for the church (oh and vote tory ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) )
I however am fat, not very good-looking, have been married for 30 years to a lovely man who put his family before his job, have gorgeous children with various developmental difficulties, cannot be arsed with housework and find doing things for God totally fullfilling. Oh and will never vote Tory!
I am such a disappointment to my mother and oh my Lord, doesn't she let me know!
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tessaB
eating chocolate to the glory of God
Holiday cottage near Rye
Posts: 1068 | From: U.K. | Registered: Sep 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by tessaB:
God it's hard isn't it when parents' ideals and children's ideals dont match up!
My mother wants me to be slim, beautiful (but not as slim and beautiful as her), married to a successful career driven man (but with not as much money as her) have slim pretty children who also have good careers, have a big house which looks like something out of House & Garden, and most importantly - stop doing voluntary work for the church (oh and vote tory )
I however am fat, not very good-looking, have been married for 30 years to a lovely man who put his family before his job, have gorgeous children with various developmental difficulties, cannot be arsed with housework and find doing things for God totally fullfilling. Oh and will never vote Tory!
I am such a disappointment to my mother and oh my Lord, doesn't she let me know!
Stories like those make me wonder if, perhaps, there are some people one should try their absolute damndest to disappoint.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) I went to lunch with my father twenty-five years ago and announced my engagement. To which he responded, "You KNOW I don't believe in marriage."
Thanks, Dad. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
I disappointed him horribly by marrying a seminary student and becoming a missionary. That's a backward kind of rebellion, I suppose!
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
A few weeks before my 13th birthday my sister had a nasty cold/flu bug. Moving on to a few days before my birthday. I started to develop a temperature and stomach pains. Cue my Mum saying “Your sister had it last week, stop making such a fuss.” As daily my symptoms increased and worsened she repeated this mantra more forcefully obviously to kill my germs and keep my very mild mannered Dad quiet with the accompanying Stern Look.
So on that fateful day (my birthday) when I did not get up for my presents in the morning (offstage loud row as my father, bless him, tried to suggest a doctor) and then again not rising for Dr. Who in the evening (unheard of). At this point my Dad rang the GP, who came (I was delirious by this stage and have no recollection). He apparently took one look at me and bundled me into the back of my Dad’s car and we picked up a police escort on the way to the hospital 16 miles away. On operating my ruptured appendix exploded and covered the whole operating theatre in pus and shit. I was in IC for two weeks after and nearly died on several occasions.
My Mum was never wrong. We never spoke of this incident again and I offer it to you as a fable of my whole relationship with her. I would die rather She be wrong.
She died 24 years ago and I love and miss her more now than ever. She was totally bat shit crazy and screwed us all up forever. Learning to live with these two truths is a real insight into Love. Christ have mercy.
edit for SP as ever, and to note Dr Who saved my life
[ 27. January 2014, 13:20: Message edited by: Pyx_e ]
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
'Strewth. My mum drives me mental poo-flinging bananas at times. But compared to some of the stuff here, I am deeply grateful for her!
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
From talking to ones I know well, living with an alcoholic only parent is not significantly different from the way Pyx_e describes, either. Sometimes people decide that the most positive response is to be the best parent they can possibly be to their own children - they can't change the past, but they can change the future.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Like your sig, Chorister!
Pyx_e's story gets you in the gut, doesn't it. I suspect there are many accidents waiting to happen out there. The gradual freeing of children from apron strings while making sure they don't come to great harm in growing up is a bit of an art. Protection can be over-protection (control issues) or under-protection (neglect issues). Bet all the parents here have misplayed their hand sometimes on that balance. I know we have.
My dad had these lovely ways about him if he thought my mum was straying into the overprotective territory. "Listen to your mum" he'd twinkle, "she may have her faults but being wrong isn't one of them". Said in front of her, of course. She'd bridle, sometimes a lot, but eventually she'd laugh, and we'd talk. She got her own way a lot, but that was because she was very often right. Makes me smile now to look back on those times. Sometimes she'd have to make the case. But if he knew, or learned, that she was right, they were like iron together; we learned that too.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
Pyx_e has the right of it. My mother was pretty batshit crazy too. And she did horrible damage to both my brother and I. Which doesn't stop me from missing her now that she's gone.
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169
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Posted
Kelly Alves: ![[Biased]](wink.gif) Aw shucks.
Pyx_e: Jee. Zus.
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008
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David
Complete Bastard
# 3
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Posted
Good story Pyx_e, my mother thought she was Mary reborn and that Bob Hawke was Jesus, but at least she didn't nearly kill me with passive-aggression. Quite the contrary, her everlasting gift to me was that dire housekeeping skills that saw me growing up in the worst rubbish tip in the worst street in the worst houso suburb in the city also made me resistant to nearly every known disease.
Anyway, I left as soon as I was 15, not a moment too soon. Some 30 years later dodgy kidneys put her out of our misery. People often ask me how I turned out normal, I have no idea what they're talking about.
Not as exciting as your story I'm afraid, doesn't end with any hint of grace or Dr Who either.
[ 28. January 2014, 04:30: Message edited by: David ]
Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Anselmina:
mental poo-flinging bananas at times
Room for manoeuvre with the hyphenation there.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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