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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Calling Erin to Hell
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
Oh, and just in case you've never clicked on the Organ Fund banner...
quote:
The Organ Fund is a voluntary fund, open to donations from all shipmates. Think of this site as shareware. If you enjoy coming here regularly, then maybe you'd like to think about contributing. You can play an important part in establishing Ship of Fools as a permanent feature of the Internet.
Face it, folks. Where else on the web can you have the fun of being rude, obscene, and vulgar, yet still tell your other half you're spending quality time at a Christian™ web site?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
logician currently goes by the name Assistant Village Idiot, I think. Though he hasn't posted for a while.
And, Norman is right ... that quote of Erin certainly implied someone still posting. Though there are some definite former Shipmates who'd qualify as well.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Hey hey! Has the abuse gone quiet? I reckon, all who got some abuse in on the Chinese Crested Bitch (only in the nicest possible way, Twilight dear) should coff up the doe. The Pain Pig has paid for her pleasure. Time for youse to, too.
[I reckon I know who is the lucky shipmate. But then again, (digs around in trivia repository) I have this privileged piece of trivia (waves around the red satin covered mystery sentence) as evidence.]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
It is someone who is active on the boards. So now we have: - Lifeman
- hermit
- Fr Gregory
- Kyralessa
Time to eliminate another one... this time a newcomer. It is not Kyralessa.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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NO
Shipmate
# 5477
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Posted
after some more scouring of Erin quotes...
In that quote I posted above, Erin also implied (at least I think she did) that the mystical fourth member of the "most retarded people on the boards" posse would also be the kind of person to dogpile in the way demonstrated by Sasha/Twilight, Spawn and Ley Druid.
So my question for you, Erin, is: would this King Retard be the sort of person to engage in this behaviour as well?
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Norman the Organ:
So my question for you, Erin, is: would this King Retard be the sort of person to engage in this behaviour as well?
Only when it is me. That's why I'm shocked that s/he hasn't put in an appearance yet.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Papio
Ship's baboon
# 4201
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Posted
Right, so we are looking for an active poster who hates Erin and whom Erin hates?
Anyway, it is either Lifeman or John Boot
(yes, my first guess was wrong, yes, I have made a donation)
(edited to remove redundant question caused by cross-posting with Erin)
[ 04. April 2004, 13:59: Message edited by: Papio* ]
Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
The finalists appear to be: - Lifeman
- hermit
- Fr Gregory
- John Boot
Time to eliminate... hermit. Wasn't he the one who started the gun thread in Heaven? That endeared him to me forever. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
Ooh. JohnnyBoyo. Gee, that's tempting.
No, I'm sticking with my first pick. You've got to follow your instincts in these things.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
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Posted
Is the answer going to be our special easter message from Erin I am wondering?
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
I remember one of Erin's replies to the king of comedy that is Lifeman in a Hell thread about Palestine / Israel. It left in me in no doubt about her true thoughts on the subject of his immortal soul, his capacity to rub two brain cells together and doubts about his ability to do anything but send the gene pool in to a terminal spiral.
A different league from her usual charming banter.
In my mind there is no doubt.
He is the fourth rider of the Apocalypse. Is the end nigh?
I think when we know them all we should have a sweep stake of the order.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
The finalists appear to be: - Lifeman
- hermit
- Fr Gregory
- John Boot
Didn't Tom Day put his money on Ender's Shadow?
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
Actually, this is more like "The Apprentice" than "Survivor". Erin does have some similarities to The Donald. It's no stretch of the imagination to hear her saying "You're Fired!"
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Ronist
Shipmate
# 5343
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Posted
Father Gregory has got to be a gag candidate like Mr. Peanut or Zippy the circus elephant. I mean he uses very large words but there is no way he dog-piles the gator.
Posts: 827 | From: Vancouver Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Matrix.:
now what about the croc?
Alligator. Look at the teeth.
Lifeman's surely not the fourth of four, yes he's a dickhead but one of the four worst?
So...Fr Gregory.
[ 04. April 2004, 16:39: Message edited by: IntellectByPenis ]
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Faithful Sheepdog*:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
The thing is, Spawn, you're actually one of the biggest playground bullies on the boards. I suggest you sit down, take your head out of your arse and work out why.
Psychological projection, anyone?
Karl, a substantial dose of emotional maturity would help you to avoid being such a prat. You're so in love with the output of your own mouth that you can't see the gaping hole where your brains should be. There are some sensible and well-informed liberals, you know. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Neil
Generalised character assassination will get you nowhere, fundyboy.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
The finalists appear to be: - Lifeman
- hermit
- Fr Gregory
- John Boot
Didn't Tom Day put his money on Ender's Shadow?
Yes he did, and now I am eliminating him as well, leaving Lifeman, Fregory and John Boot in the running.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
<Sine obsequiously crawls forward on hands and knees...>
Excuse me, Oh magnificent one, alligator bitch goddess, ruler of all she surveys, this humble one begs for your attention...
(This personalilty cult certainly can be a bit wearying. Oh well. Not the first time I've gotten rug burns from groveling.)
At what time will the finalist be revealed? (Central Standard Time, please.)
I've got company coming at 1:00 but would hate to miss the denouement. Perhaps I can make a quick trip back to the library to check when I remove the service plates.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
fundyboy , hehehehehhe I love it. If the asshat fits wear it.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
Central Standard or Central Daylight?
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
Hardly matters. I've only re-set half the clocks anyway. And I'm just putting tape over the microwave and the VCR.
[Have to be sure Mr. Coffee is set correctly though. That's critical.]
[ 04. April 2004, 17:13: Message edited by: Simply 'Normous ]
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
I'll reveal the second runner-up at 4p CDT and the first runner-up (and, by default, the winner) at 7:57p EDT. So the books are officially closed.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Scarlet
Mellon Collie
# 1738
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Simply 'Normous:
Hardly matters. I've only re-set half the clocks anyway. And I'm just putting tape over the microwave and the VCR.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Inane grinny post...
Thank goodness my cell phone and computer reset their own selves!
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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer
Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001
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NO
Shipmate
# 5477
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Posted
Could I humbly (got to practise this sycophancy thing) request that those times be translated into British Summer Time (or GMT if you prefer), or at least some explanation as to how those US time zones translate into UK time zones? I have a suspicion it'll be the middle of the night, but never mind.
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004
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NO
Shipmate
# 5477
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
I'll reveal the second runner-up at 4p CDT and the first runner-up (and, by default, the winner) at 7:57p EDT. So the books are officially closed.
OK, I'll work it out
EDT is 5 hours behind us, and CDT is 6 hours behind.
So the second runner up will be revealed at 10pm BST
The winner will be revealed at 12:57am BST
Hmm, might have to wait in suspense until tomorrow for the winner!
(Somebody please correct this if I'm wrong)
[ 04. April 2004, 17:35: Message edited by: Norman the Organ ]
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
10 o'clock and two in the morning. I think.
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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NO
Shipmate
# 5477
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Posted
What about the hour difference between the time zones Erin specified?
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
Norman got it... 10p and 1a.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Bloody hell, you're going to make me do math on Sunday?!?
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
Hey, I received two bottles of Glenmorangie as compensation for my sojourn in hell, and I've already opened one today. If I can do the math (and type correctly!!) I am thinking you can, too.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
You didn't offer to share any of the Glenmorangie with me. Don't you love me anymore?
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Well, sure you can do it. You're aided by the Holy Water of Life. You're probably faster than a bullet, stronger than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
The ten year old, or one of the decent ones?
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
You can probably even put all of your commas in the right places. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
too late to be an official entry - but i thhought freggers - mark 1, the new revised one seems a bit nicer.
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
Well, sure you can do it. You're aided by the Holy Water of Life. You're probably faster than a bullet, stronger than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I am also the best looking and coolest chick in the entire world at the moment. I wandered down to T&T because, you know, that kinda thing interestes me even more when I'm a wee bit soused, but there's NOTHING there that gets the juices flowing. ![[Frown]](frown.gif) At least, on the front page.
Alan, I got a bottle of the ten year old AND a bottle of the twelve year old port wood finish.
Tortuf, come on down. I am in no condition to drive to Nashville at the moment.
[and only one typo!!]
[ 04. April 2004, 17:54: Message edited by: Erin ]
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
Aack - if this weren't Hell already, I'd feel inclined to call Erin out just for the time zone switch in the middle of that sentence.
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
I wandered down to T&T because, you know, that kinda thing interestes me even more when I'm a wee bit soused, but there's NOTHING there that gets the juices flowing. At least, on the front page.
Well, there's your problem. On page 2 we've got favorite sex toys, bisexuality, threesomes, and nude modeling. On page 3 we've got genital piercings, best place you've ever done the deed, and Granny's pretty titties. Page 4 features fuckbuddies, pubic hair designs, and things you would never try again.
You just need to dig a little deeper!
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Assistant Village Idiot, that was it! Thanks Alan. I miss Ham n Eggs, too. quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e.:
I remember one of Erin's replies to the king of comedy that is Lifeman in a Hell thread about Palestine / Israel. It left in me in no doubt about her true thoughts on the subject of his immortal soul, his capacity to rub two brain cells together and doubts about his ability to do anything but send the gene pool in to a terminal spiral.
P
Yes, but only a few weeks ago, Erin promised to donate a vital organ if only NP and I would leave - and now she says she has a soft spot for him! (Perhaps it's the spot where the organ was removed.) So you can't always go by how colorful her flames are, Pyx_e.
My last and final vote is for Fr. Gregory.
I look forward to being his Queen. ![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Spawn
Shipmate
# 4867
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Posted
So this thread has moved on to the gang deciding who is outcast according to the whim of the leader. Fits in well with so many of your principles doesn't it?
Posts: 3447 | From: North Devon | Registered: Aug 2003
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Ancient Mariner*
SOF Co-editor
# 105
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Marina:
Mmmmmm, thankyou Lord... <murmured reverently but loud enough for you to know I am an empty vessel in direct touch with the Almighty>
Even now I am laying holy hands on my iMac screen. I can hear the gentle vibrato of a Hammond B3, played by Norman. As I speak I am singing along, with a robed choir, the verse of a hymn dedicated to you all - 'The Bitch Is Back'.
I can reveal that the Lord has laid it on the heart of eight contributors to this thread to donate a total of £270 (approx US$500) to the Organ Fund.
But I am believing for <sudden increase in volume of B3, thanks Norman> A WHOLE LOT MORE...
I believe God wants you to make it £500. I said £500.
Well, we've reached £404.65.
But the Lord has laid it on my heart. I'm still believing for £500...
[ 04. April 2004, 18:31: Message edited by: Ancient Marina ]
Posts: 1087 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spawn:
So this thread has moved on to the gang deciding who is outcast according to the whim of the leader. Fits in well with so many of your principles doesn't it?
son of fundyboy?
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spawn:
So this thread has moved on to the gang deciding who is outcast according to the whim of the leader. Fits in well with so many of your principles doesn't it?
Oh yes, my first principle being that you are a complete asshole (but I think I said that already). I know!! Maybe, if you all suck up to me enough, dumbfuck here will be so disgusted that HIS principles will kick in and he will go the fuck away. I'm not betting on it, though, because he seems like a big talker who turns into a giant pussy when it comes to putting his money and actions where his mouth is.
But it's all good because I, for one, am enjoying the hell out of myself. And even thought it is way TMI, I REALLY enoyed the hell out of myself ten minutes ago.
Just so you all know, my vote for supreme asshole can be bought by huge donations to the Organ Fund.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Spawn
Shipmate
# 4867
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e.:
quote:
Originally posted by Spawn:
So this thread has moved on to the gang deciding who is outcast according to the whim of the leader. Fits in well with so many of your principles doesn't it?
son of fundyboy?
P
What's your point, Pyxe? Is it an attempt to be deliberately ambiguous, have I missed something, or are you an idiot?
Posts: 3447 | From: North Devon | Registered: Aug 2003
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
And why didn't anyone tell me that Glenmorangie was liquid weed? I have a horrible case of the munchies right now.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
Just so you all know, my vote for supreme asshole can be bought by huge donations to the Organ Fund.
Alternatively, what do we get for donations to the Huge Organ Fund?
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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NO
Shipmate
# 5477
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
Just so you all know, my vote for supreme asshole can be bought by huge donations to the Organ Fund.
Alternatively, what do we get for donations to the Huge Organ Fund?
A huge organ.
Five manuals, 32' pedal reed, solo tuba stop, enclosed solo division, ten-rank mixture...
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Spawn
Shipmate
# 4867
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
Maybe, if you all suck up to me enough, dumbfuck here will be so disgusted that HIS principles will kick in and he will go the fuck away. I'm not betting on it, though, because he seems like a big talker who turns into a giant pussy when it comes to putting his money and actions where his mouth is.
You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm in the right place I thought for Christian unrest.
Posts: 3447 | From: North Devon | Registered: Aug 2003
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