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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Purgatory: It's not my fault I'm fat and broke! (Page 5)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Purgatory: It's not my fault I'm fat and broke!
Left at the Altar

Ship's Siren
# 5077

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Sorry, wasn't meaning to be rude. It's just so low, I was surprised. I couldn't keep that up.

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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.

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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804

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Some poeple eat less and still put on weight.
I know I was one of them.

20 yrs down the track I'm still here.
But I did visit doctors along the way, convinced I was ill.

Some people just look at a piece of cake and the weight goes on.
I am now that person!

Without sounding like a really touchy feely person, don't I just need to listen to my body?
And don't I just hate doing that?

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PhilA

shipocaster
# 8792

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One reason I have a problem with weight is that I was brought up to clear my plate. So I ignore the little voice inside my head telling me I am full and carry on eating until my plate is empty.

I know this is a bad thing and I have to fight myself not to do it with the kids, but the number of times I hear myself saying "if you don't clear your plate, you won't get any pudding" or forcing them to eat more because I am convinced that they are not full, but want to go out and play rather than sit down and eat.

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To err is human. To arr takes a pirate.

Posts: 3121 | From: Sofa | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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Leaving food gives me anxiety as well. I'm old enough that my parents grew up during rationing, and their horror of wasting food was strongly passed on to me. Not that it's really an issue here, because I'm quite careful on portion control, and have actually been cutting the amounts of the high calorie elements over the years. Time was when I allowed 1/2lb mince per person in a bolognese or chili; now I divide 2 pound packs into three meals worth, each doing me, SWMBO and the sproglet, so that's slightly less than 1/3lb per adult.

LATA - I've been thinking about your suggestions, but they really come up against some serious practical difficulties. I am looking for ways, but at the moment SWMBO is pregnant which limits options even further as she tends to get tired easily. I can't leave so early for work, nor arrive so late, for example, that I can't help get the sprog ready for nursery or for bed. Time is very short.

I don't know about men's metabolism changing between 40 and 50; my problems started around 30.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Left at the Altar

Ship's Siren
# 5077

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Just ignore me, Karl. I was turning into your mother there. And you don't want that.

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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.

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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373

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quote:
Originally posted by Telepath:
That's why unsolicited advice is usually considered rude.


You seemed to feel an answer to a question was required - I wasn't aware of one being asked.

quote:
Hmmm. I used to be very skinny, in my youth. On a daily basis I would have people telling me that I MUST be anorexic, I MUST be. It wasn't only stupid children who didn't know any better, it was sophisticated adults who definitely should have known better.
I can see that would have been very irritating. But in a way I think it backs up what I was saying.

You were judged by some arbitrary standard to be 'too thin'. And the conclusion people jumped to was that you were ill, that you suffered from some psychological compulsion that you weren't fully responsible for. That you needed and deserved help, support, sympathy and treatment.

That would be incredibly infuriating if it wasn't the case, of course. But it's quite different than the assumptions that would have been made if you were extremely fat.

If you had been judged significantly overweight, people would have assumed that you were a lazy, stupid cow who sat on her fat arse all day stuffing her face with cream cakes and deserved nothing but contempt. They would have told you that all your problems would be easily solved if you just dropped the doughnuts and walked to work. Learned people would discuss on the radio whether 'people like you' should be denied or charged extra for medical treatment. Practically nobody would have considered that maybe your state might be due to a condition as deserving as anorexia, that eating might be filling a psychological need or be another form of self-harm.

I don't think either extreme is a particularly good thing, I think it would be a lot better if we were less proscriptive and tried to accept the diversity of the human condition. Weight should be a health issue where required, not a moral issue, not a matter of deserving and undeserving. But I really think its futile to deny that Western society takes a particularly twisted view of body shape and fitness, and is disproportionately disapproving of those won't or can't reduce themselves to the acceptable size.

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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]

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Matt Black

Shipmate
# 2210

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:


Suggestions on a postcard, please.

Fidget more? I'm overweight & do a desk job but have recently tried to reeducate myself to fidget more at my desk, usually by tapping my foot on the floor. It helps to reduce tension and seems to have stopped my weight increasing; best of all, it annoys the hell out of the guy in the room beneath me!

I can relate to what you said about being bullied by the jocks at school; I hated PE and Games for the same reason - I was always the last to be picked for teams and had two perpetual left feet. Although I'm in a gym, I to my shame rarely go and if I do it's usually to use the pool (for which read sauna!) as I generally loathe exercise.

But, in addition to the fidgetting above, I've also acquired one of those pedometers and am consciously making the effort to up the amount of walking I do each day. Now, walking I do enjoy; it burns the calories and keeps you reasonably fit without seriously overtaxing the body and leaving you gasping. So, that's another suggestion I guess

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

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Twilight

Puddleglum's sister
# 2832

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I believe you, Genie!

My mother once joined Weight Watchers and followed their 1000 calorie plan (it was different in the 60's) to the letter. I would watch her weigh and measure every bite. "Ladies" didn't do much exercise back then but she was on the go with her rose garden, sewing projects and the PTA from dawn till dark. She actually gained weight. I did it with her one week and lost six pounds. That's a skinny teenager for you.

We don't hear about the people like Genie and my mother because it doesn't sell diet books and magazines. Instead they use the one or two people who have amazing results and then print "results not typical" in small letters at the bottom of the screen.

There have been cases of women in survival situations of no food at all over several months losing little or nothing. During the first season of the "Survivor" TV show Sue Hawk lost 4 pounds while the others lost 40 to 60 pounds on the same starvation diet of rats and snakes. Women in particular seem to be able to hang on to weight in starvation situations for much longer than men. Probably to keep babies alive during spells of famine. They can't go without food forever but they can for several months.
It is not just "calories in calories out" for everyone.

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Matt Black

Shipmate
# 2210

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...although it remains an abiding mystery as to why Hurley doesn't seem to have shed any lbs in Lost.

Re pedometers: mine's showing only 1500 steps (out of the recommended 10,000) and it's already lunchtime! [Waterworks]

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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Well, it's always "calories in/calories out", in the sense that if you take in 500 calories, and expend 700, you have to lose 200 from somewhere - fat or glycogen. But what happens is that in "starvation" mode, the metabolism pares expenditure to a minimum, so that a person may find that although they only take in 1000 calories, amazingly their body adjusts so that they only spend 900. The other 100 become weight gain.

If we could find a way to feed any creature 500 calories and get 700 calories of work out of it without it getting thinner, we'd be able to solve our energy problems by feeding them fat and then rendering down their fat - we'd get more than we put in [Biased]

[ 07. July 2006, 11:53: Message edited by: Karl: Liberal Backslider ]

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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Genie, if you're eating below 1000 calories/day, then your body has probably gone into starvation mode , which seriously slows your weightloss, to negligable amounts (if that) for a while, until you've burnt off all your muscle. So it's a really bad thing for your body and your health, and you don't lose much weight for a long time on it.

You mentioned your doctor earlier - I'm not asking this to get a response from you, but does (s)he know how many calories/day you're consuming? If not, perhaps talking to him/her about dieting and good numbers of calories etc. might help.

Sarkycow

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”

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Fiddleback
Shipmate
# 2809

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quote:
Originally posted by hatless:
Do you think anyone chooses to be fat?

That must be the stupidest question anyone has asked this year.

Eating is a voluntary action in human beings.

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Telepath
Ship's Steamer Trunk
# 3534

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Rat - yes, you have summed up the point I was driving at.

The reason I said that unsolicited advice is usually considered rude, was because it was clear that the source of irritation is more than the always-rude unsolicited advice.

It's because of our overwhelmingly eating-disordered culture, which is devoted to accusing everyone who isn't identical in size and shape to whoever is doing the accusing.

I also think that the facts of nutrition, weight loss, and health, whatever they are and to whatever extent they can be established, are going to be unendurably offensive to some people because of our overwhelmingly eating-disordered culture. That's why I have avoided discussing them so far.

I think that there are powerful forces in our society that are confusing people about something as basic as eating. Some of it has to do with the diet industry, which takes people's money in exchange for playing a game to make eating difficult. Of course, the house always wins.

Some of it has to do with the food industry, which certainly is selling us what we want, but is also trying to find the cheapest way of doing so, much to the detriment of public health.

Where the food industry and the diet industry play together, we get "healthy alternative" cookies that are low-fat because they're high-sugar and taste like sawdust anyway (for example), when you might as well have just eaten a couple of gorram homemade cookies, done less damage, and actually enjoyed them. (If you had time to bake them, which frankly one doesn't always, however good one's time management may be.)

Part of this is the media machine, which promotes the antics of unlicensed TV coprophiliacs, who pander to our culture's conviction that any enjoyable foodstuff (like coffee and chocolate) is somehow toxic. Or misreporting of science, which gleefully prints headlines like "Chocolate is good for you!" and presents the article in such a way as to imply that it's therefore healthy to eat Kit Kats, which no-one really believes anyway, and the relevant facts are always, always omitted.

Some of it has to do with our own neuroses, which lead us to overwrite children's appetites with feelings of moral condemnation if they fail to eat whatever arbitrary amount of food we decide to serve them. My dad went through a phase of this, and it was very difficult for me, becaue he habitually loaded the plate right to the very edges. When I protested, he sneered, "Isn't the world cruel to you! Instead of starving you, it overfeeds you!" In other words, I was being punished for having an abundance of food, because he starved when he was a child. Then at a certain point he forgot that he had ever expected me to eat everything on my plate, but I only found this out when he became equally offended because I was forcing down my food.

Only when my father was in his sixties did he feel safe enough to leave food on his plate, and not to load up his plate with enough food for two or three normal meals.

My maternal grandmother, unusually for her generation, didn't believe in making children eat every bite, so my mother never got her appetite messed with. Therefore, she didn't feel any need to mess with my appetite, either.

I could go on (I have gone on) but it's time for lunch...

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Take emptiness and lying speech far from me, and do not give me poverty or wealth. Give me a living sufficient for me.

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Fiddleback:
quote:
Originally posted by hatless:
Do you think anyone chooses to be fat?

That must be the stupidest question anyone has asked this year.

Eating is a voluntary action in human beings.

Eating is. Getting overweight isn't. I would hope that no-one's going to make a naive and simplistic equivalent between the two at this stage in the thread.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Nonpropheteer
6 Syllable Master
# 5053

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I too was raised to clear my plate - thats why certain diets work better for me (like Atkins) because I control what I put on plate. When I'm not on a diet, I go for seconds etc. The killer for me is all-you-can-eat buffets. For some reason, knowing I can eat as much as I want for less than $10 sends me into a feeding frenzy. And the more expensive the buffet, the more I think I have to eat - as the people here could affirm. [Help]
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Fiddleback
Shipmate
# 2809

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Eating is. Getting overweight isn't. I would hope that no-one's going to make a naive and simplistic equivalent between the two at this stage in the thread.

Eat too much = get fat.

Happy to oblige.

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Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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And you really think it is always that simple?

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Infinite Penguins.
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I_am_not_Job
Shipmate
# 3634

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/tangent

quote:
I could go on (I have gone on) but it's time for lunch...

[Killing me]

/tangent

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Hope for everything; expect nothing

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Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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The equation of calories in / calories burnt is very simple.

P

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It is better to be Kind than right.

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Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
The equation of calories in / calories burnt is very simple.

P

Yes. Human pychology is, however, rarely very simple.

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Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
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JimS
Shipmate
# 10766

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
The equation of calories in / calories burnt is very simple.

P

I used to think this too. Someone I know was proscribed meds that are notorious for weight gain. She was given the standard Heart Foundation low calory diet and still put weight on. The manufacturers of the meds paid for a course for the nurses at the hospital where they learned that the meds interfere with the insulin levels. She went onto a low GI diet and the weight came back off. The low GI diet is a lot less gimicky than Atkins.

[ 07. July 2006, 13:17: Message edited by: JimS ]

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Jim:Confused of Crewe

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Fiddleback:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Eating is. Getting overweight isn't. I would hope that no-one's going to make a naive and simplistic equivalent between the two at this stage in the thread.

Eat too much = get fat.

Happy to oblige.

FB - so, Genie, on less than 1000 calories a day, is simply "eating too much".

That is simplicity to the point of idiocy, FB.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Matt Black

Shipmate
# 2210

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Yes, you need to factor in other...er...factors like differences in metabolism (both between individuals and pertaining to the same individual but at different times and in different circumstances)

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

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I_am_not_Job
Shipmate
# 3634

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My tri club friends who are training for Ironman and eating 3-4000 cals a day are losing weight. However, if they didn't eat that they would not have sufficient fuel to enable them to do their training and would end up totally drained. Genie, it really might be worth considerably up-ing your intake to see if you are in starvation mode.

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Hope for everything; expect nothing

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Fiddleback
Shipmate
# 2809

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quote:
Originally posted by Papio:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
The equation of calories in / calories burnt is very simple.

P

Yes. Human pychology is, however, rarely very simple.
That's because people these days don't laugh at fat people enough so they end up thinking it's acceptable to take up two seats on the bus.
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Papio

Ship's baboon
# 4201

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Oh right, your not trying to make a serious contribution to the thread. Got it. Ta.

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Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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I might have known. Doesn't he have a bridge to hide under?

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
muchafraid
Shipmate
# 10738

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quote:
Originally posted by Nonpropheteer:
I too was raised to clear my plate - thats why certain diets work better for me (like Atkins) because I control what I put on plate. When I'm not on a diet, I go for seconds etc.

Why do we have to be on a specific diet regime to not over-eat? I've always found that it's much easier to make small, realistic changes in my eating habits than to go from one extreme (the legalistic diet) to the other (gorging myself). For example, I've just sort of committed to eating smaller portions.

When we go out to eat at an American, here's-more-food-than-you-eat-in-a-week restaurant, we split a plate. We end up feeling satisfied at the end of the meal instead of feeling like we need to be rolled home.

Also, NP, you might try avoiding buffets. Not only do they make people feel like they have to "get their money's worth," the nutritional value of the food in them leaves much to be desired.

But the soft serve ice cream is soooooooo tempting! [Biased]

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all the glory when he took our place
but he took my shoulders, and he shook my face,
and he takes and he takes and he takes...sufjan stevens

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RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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Hosting

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Doesn't he have a bridge to hide under?

You are free to ignore Fiddleback's contributions. You are not free to indulge in personal attacks in Purgatory.

RuthW
Purgatory host

Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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Sorry. Let me try again.

FB - do you have a serious point to make?

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Fiddleback
Shipmate
# 2809

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Sorry. Let me try again.

FB - do you have a serious point to make?

Sure do. We live in a society in which over-consumption and obesity have become socially acceptable, so there is less incentive than before to eat normally, exercise and be thin.

What spurred former chancelor Nigel Lawson to lose weight was his awareness of all the sniggering in the House of Commons, a notoriously cruel arena, every time he lumbered to his feet to make a speech, and that no one really took him seriously.

Here he is then and here he is now.

And here is Nigella.

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Matt Black

Shipmate
# 2210

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Hmmm...I only clicked on the Nigella link...wonder why?

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Fiddleback:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Sorry. Let me try again.

FB - do you have a serious point to make?

Sure do. We live in a society in which over-consumption and obesity have become socially acceptable, so there is less incentive than before to eat normally, exercise and be thin.


But there are many people who eat normally - indeed are half starved - exercise and aren't thin. My problem with your statements is the implication that if one does these things, one will be thin, and therefore overweight people are all greedy slobs who deserve to be fat. But you're not saying that, are you?

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Fiddleback
Shipmate
# 2809

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
But there are many people who eat normally - indeed are half starved - exercise and aren't thin.

Funny how none of them live in Malawi though, isn't it?

quote:
My problem with your statements is the implication that if one does these things, one will be thin, and therefore overweight people are all greedy slobs who deserve to be fat. But you're not saying that, are you?
Yes I am.
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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So let me get this straight. Someone eats less than 1000 calories a day. They exercise. They're still gaining weight.

And you think they're a greedy slob? I defy you to survive on what Genie's eating.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
muchafraid
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# 10738

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What I'm wondering, FB, is what you would say to someone suffering from hyperthyriodism or thyroid cancer?

Certainly their weight gain isn't due to slobbishness...

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all the glory when he took our place
but he took my shoulders, and he shook my face,
and he takes and he takes and he takes...sufjan stevens

Posts: 256 | From: baltimore, md | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Matt Black

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# 2210

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Yep, people gain weight for all sorts of reasons. Some, like me, because they're gutbuckets, but others for reasons (psychological and/ or physical) way beyond their control - and FB's response is to laugh at them?! Words fail.

As a side note, the only time I've managed to lose weight recently is by giving up the booze for Lent (lost 5lbs)...which kind of suggests I drink too much... [Eek!]

[Splenig [Roll Eyes] ]

[ 07. July 2006, 15:33: Message edited by: Matt Black ]

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"Protestant and Reformed, according to the Tradition of the ancient Catholic Church" - + John Cosin (1594-1672)

Posts: 14304 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
I_am_not_Job
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Ah yes, the 'hidden' calories in booze. [Frown]

I think the problem is that those with cancer, thyroid problems etc are actually the minority, and it's more common to hear the blame game, cf. suing McDonalds, I have no time (but I do know what's happening in Eastenders) and people explaining that the problem is they get out of breath when exercising (really? that's not like the point or anything [brick wall] ) .

C'mon shipmates, let's be honest, the latter, not the former is the more prevalent malaise that is affecting the West. (Whereas, obviously everyone here on the ship has a genuine excuse for not looking like Elle McPherson or Brad Pitt [Biased] )

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Hope for everything; expect nothing

Posts: 988 | From: London | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
muchafraid
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Cancer or candy, it's not right to laugh at someone who is overweight.

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all the glory when he took our place
but he took my shoulders, and he shook my face,
and he takes and he takes and he takes...sufjan stevens

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Fiddleback
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quote:
Originally posted by muchafraid:
What I'm wondering, FB, is what you would say to someone suffering from hyperthyriodism or thyroid cancer?

"Cut the cake, fatso" probably.

If their malady was genuine, their weight gain would be due to water retention, not build up of fat, which, as any fool can figure out, requires calory intake.

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Fiddleback
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quote:
Originally posted by muchafraid:
It's not right to laugh at someone who is overweight.

They'll thank you for it later. If you tell them they're beautiful, glamorous or even voluptuous they'll just go and eat more doughnuts.
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
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FB, you [personal attack thought better of, since this is Purgatory after all. Besides, I think you're just yanking my chain].

Can you tell the difference between water retention/edema and ordinary fat just by looking?

And would you say the same to a person with a large abdominal tumor, or to someone who is eight months pregnant but looks simply fat?

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
muchafraid
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Or, we could try finding a solution to the problem.

Anyone else ready to move on?

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all the glory when he took our place
but he took my shoulders, and he shook my face,
and he takes and he takes and he takes...sufjan stevens

Posts: 256 | From: baltimore, md | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
magdalenegospel
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# 11619

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quote:
Originally posted by Fiddleback:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
[qb]But there are many people who eat normally - indeed are half starved - exercise and aren't thin.

Funny how none of them live in Malawi though, isn't it?

Does this include Malawi's famed healthcare provision?

As far as people and diets are concerned - how much caffeine do people consume that are overweight? I know that's also one of my besetting sins that can put on weight, because it seems to encourage my body to store things more "efficiently" than normal. For some people it seems to fill them up/stop them gaining weight though...

Posts: 75 | From: London | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Fiddleback
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quote:
Originally posted by muchafraid:
Or, we could try finding a solution to the problem.

Such as "Don't eat all the cake"?
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muchafraid
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# 10738

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Originally posted by magdalenegospel:
quote:
As far as people and diets are concerned - how much caffeine do people consume that are overweight?

It probably goes hand-in-hand with the fact that most of the products containing caffeine also contain loads of sugar [Frown]

Soda has always been my enemy. I always thought it was just because of the sugar/carb content. But you're right, it probably also has something to do with the caffeine. Never thought of that before.

[ 07. July 2006, 16:32: Message edited by: muchafraid ]

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all the glory when he took our place
but he took my shoulders, and he shook my face,
and he takes and he takes and he takes...sufjan stevens

Posts: 256 | From: baltimore, md | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
magdalenegospel
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Artificial sweeteners also screw up insulin levels, and induce cravings, and those are in Squash/Soda in abundance.

I tend to be better off using apple juice to sweeten things, or a little honey.

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Twilight

Puddleglum's sister
# 2832

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Let's assume Fiddleback is right and all the heavy people secretly eat two dozen glazed doughnuts and a half-gallon Premium Pralines and Carmel ice-cream with hot fudge sauce every night.(My personal fantasy.)

Why not? Why do they deserve ridicule and censure? Why can't we accept the fact that some people are large and some are small the way we accept blue eyes and dark eyes, tall and short, musical and tone deaf?

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I_am_not_Job
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quote:
Why can't we accept the fact that some people are large and some are small the way we accept blue eyes and dark eyes, tall and short, musical and tone deaf?
Well, Twilight, apart from it being bad for their health and society paying the cost of that (which is a glib answer, but possibly the one Fiddleback is thinking of - I'm not sure if he's from the UK or not and so whether or not he has a state-funded healthcare system that he doesn't want abused - I disgress), their friends and family have to cope with the impact of obesity on that person's life, which may involve stuff like small children not being able to play with their (grand)parent, through to trips, walks, excursions, in fact, daily living being restricted by the person's immobility, with the extreme of seeing them get self-induced illnesses, e.g. type 2 diabetes, which then cause them pain, discomfort, illness and depression - which the friends and family are obviously sympathetic to but also grieved by and hurt by as it's self inflicted. Extreme obesity can have a similar impact on a family as that tragic sight of a life-long smoker who still smokes despite having had lung-cancer etc etc. and who's got a voice box replacement. The difference is, although there may be psychological reasons for over-eating, food in itself is not addictive like nicotine, but that doesn't mean there aren't grounds for CBT etc.

My heart aches everytime my father-in-law loads his plate with cakes/cream/butter whatever, having just taken his insulin, and send an SOS prayer to God that he'll let him live to at least see his first grandchild, who we're planning but haven't conceived yet.

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Hope for everything; expect nothing

Posts: 988 | From: London | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Erroneous Monk
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# 10858

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quote:
Originally posted by Fiddleback:
Funny how none of them live in Malawi though, isn't it?

I have to agree. You don't find the last people standing in an area of famine attributing it to the fact that they have a slow metabolism, or indeed saying that they have been gaining weight despite eating nothing at all for the previous three weeks.

I have some painful experience myself, having always until recently carried more weight than is healthy. I also have a chronic neurological condition which is exacerbated by weight gain, and had been told that I needed to lose some weight before it would be safe for me to conceive. I was therefore referred to a weight management project.

Over a period of around 18 months, some honest food and activity diarising and some counselling, I came to see that in truth I ate and drank much more than I would have ever owned up to or accepted previously and that I exercised much less than I would have ever owned up to or accepted. I found too that my self-destructive lifestyle - made worse by the fact that I routinely denied that I had unhealthy eating and drinking habits - served to conceal my real unhappiness with various aspects of my life and relationships.

I am very lucky that I had the incentive and the support (God bless the NHS and all who work in her) to go through this process. I now have a beautiful baby and weigh 30lbs less than before I started the whole process. My own health is stable with medication.

I spent years telling myself that diets don't work. I still think that diets don't work. But a healthy eating plan and exercise does work. I trust the doctors and the dieticians who have told me that there is no alternative. But if there are underlying issues preventing you from implementing a plan, then you need to crack these too. I'm lucky that I got help to do this.

So to return to the opening post - was it my fault I was fat (not broke, fortunately)? Yes and no. My own eating habits and lifestyle resulted in my gaining and not losing weight - so yes. But the eating habits and lifestyle were disguising some bigger problems which I needed to understand and solve - so to a certain extent no.

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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged



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