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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Shiny New Limericks Thread
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pjl
Shipmate
# 16929
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Posted
His wife replied 'Right'
Posts: 576 | From: england | Registered: Feb 2012
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Just be grateful that they're not nonuplets.
A radiant young maiden named Carys
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
wed a Scot who wove tweed on Harris
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
As he sat at his loom
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
He had a feeling of doom
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
So took the next flight down to Paris!
When driving myself around Bath
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
I got slightly depressed,
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
and needed a rest
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And a cure from a homeopath.
While dining in old San Francisco
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
I ordered a big plate of Crisco
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
With some lard on the side,
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
It came breaded and fried
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
With a plate of dessert from Nabisco.
They say when you're in New Orleans,
[ 30. May 2014, 22:02: Message edited by: Mamacita ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
You'll be surrounded by darlings*
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* Rhymes with Orleans when pronounced as they do down there.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
Don't address them as "luvvie"
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
To them you think you're above thee
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
Though to others it may seem quite charming.
(My, that was hard work... ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) )
This evening it's stir fry for tea
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Lest by chance you are stung by a bee.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
Keep the fly swatter handy
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
If the pests should get randy
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
And buzz onto a crispy snow pea.
An ant once went off to explore
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
(He'd a fancy to reach the earth's core)
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
But on leaving the hill
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
He found, with a thrill,
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
A boat rigged with sails, but no oar.
While nibbling on toast spread with Stilton
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
for breakfast when I stayed at the Hilton
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Had fallen on my knees
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Where I had my kilt on.
Now the Embro trams are running
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
but they can't get even one in
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I'll stick with my bike
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
Or my thumb to hitch-hike
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
But from climbing up Rose Street, I'm done in.
My computer contracted a virus
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Twerking Pope Francis
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045
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Posted
The nuns got their chances
Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
To write it all down on papyrus.
While walking my cute little poodle
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
just by the duck pond
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
When along came a blonde
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Eating a stinky Pot Noodle
In the long summer nights of New Hampshire
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
we sat eating our bread and our jam, sire
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
When a firefly glowed
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
And distant cows lowed
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
And we sang jolly songs round the camp fire.
A bearded old sailor from France
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
was stranded in Perth with no pants.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
stopped lascivious friskers
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
From taking a quite risque chance.
There was a young lad from Milwaukee
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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