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We used to have one of these long ago run by... the poster who um, yes. Well it's better not to mention her.

Often when I see particularly funny/poignant/profound bits in posts, I cut and paste them into a file to use as possible .sigs (with acknowledgement, of course).

Therefore I thought I'd start this thread for contributions from around the board of worthy sayings. The quote that prompted this thread:

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jedijudy:
I don't need an AK47. I am a Mom, and I know how to give "the look".

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Kenwritez:
Damn! My extra taco at lunch snatched the Unimix out of the mouths of some starving Sudanese. Bad me. Maybe I'll console myself with a handful of pretzels and kill off some Bangladeshis. If I'm really lucky, that pepperoni pizza for dinner can take down most of India.

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jugular:
I like being fat. I am happy being fat. In fact, I feel called to fatness. Being a lardass has been a very important part of my faith journey. If I didn't cry at Little Athletics because I kept coming last, Mum would never have sent me to Sunday School. Because I'm fat people do not perceive me as threatening. Women can be open and honest without thinking I want to root them. When I laugh, my whole body has a good time.

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Ah, Eigon, yes, I have that one of ken's too. lol (Though I have 'giant' where you have 'great').


~~~And now some put downs~~~
(The understated favoured over the frontal assault)

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babybear on being on-topic in answer to someone in Hell:

We have asked the question. We have answered the question. The answer is that you are talking a load of bollox.

best wishes and big hugs,

bb

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"Do be a good little weenie and stick with the program." Erin


"Oh boo-fucking-hoo, (Name Removed). Cry me a river." paigeb.


"Thank you for sharing. Now, who are you again?" Erin.


"...feel free to address your concerns to your waste paper bin. It'll care more than me." Sarkycow.


"dozy airheaded meringue-wearing slappers" Norman the Organ, Defn. of a Bride.


"All the warmth and emotion of a moribund trout trapped in a sandbag." Diapason.


"Trust me, dear heart, homosexuality is not the doctrine of the incarnation and Lambeth 98 was not Nicea." Professor Yaffle, now Callan.


"Sometimes, there is a groundswell of consensus that someone's posts are pure and unadulterated crap, in content, presentation or both, and that it's time they knew it." Cranmer’s Baggage.


"I am impressed that I have managed to post "so many liturgical solecisms in one post". I reward myself with a gold star." daisymay

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And my newest addition:

"Word has it that many Pagan priestesses also breathed as part of their rituals, and so I'm sure you will endeavor to stop doing so at your next service.)"
Mertseger, for those such as priest concerned with the adoption of pagan rituals into xtian ones.


[My quotes file is not systematic nor regular, so if you've said cool and/or witty and/or outrageous things which are absent from it, that isn't a reflection of their quality or my appraisal of it - just that I either didn't see 'em or wasn't very motivated about cutting and pasting at the time! I love youse all. ]

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Praying for the Holy Spirit to heal a headache is an easy mistake to make. It's a simple confusion between paracetamol and paraclete.

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Originally posted by Ilkku:
my sig was from Mousetheif orginally -and it - fitted the situation perfectly
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Oh, and PS: It shouldn't be hard to spell my name right. It's on everything I post. (Mousethief)

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And there are sooo damn many of those that nobody should ever get it wrong!

Gremlin

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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

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Originally posted by Ilkku:
my sig was from Mousetheif orginally -and it - fitted the situation perfectly

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I hope that was intentional...



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Liberals(I have usually found ... assuming I could recognise one if I saw one) are people ... and being people, they generally have something good to contribute.

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Evangelicals (I have usually found ... assuming I could recognise one if I saw one) are people ... and being people, they generally have something good to contribute.

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Originally posted by kiwigoldfish:

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Originally posted by Ilkku:
my sig was from Mousetheif orginally -and it - fitted the situation perfectly

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I hope that was intentional...

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Please don't put words in my mouth; it's crowded enough as it is.

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And I already have to get up at 6.15 if I'm cycling to work - there is no way on earth I'm going to get up an hour earlier so I can drink a glass of warm water with lemon juice (goes straight to the bowels, apparently - not sure what it does there) and do an exercise to find my emotional core before breakfast. I don't have an emotional core at 5.30 am.

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The US is not, of course, a colony. You were convicted of throwing tea into water that was not at a full boil and were therefore scrubbed from the membership list.

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Some revisionist history there.

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(For most of my life, one of the things I couldn't accept about Christianity was this "we are all sinners" bit. Until I realized it just was a different way of saying we all want to be perfect, and we are all imperfect, and we all hate ourselves for that.)

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Some of us get the burning bush. Some of us a smoldering ashtray.

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Cotton ain't the greatest thing to shove up your wazoo, but at least it breathes

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Originally posted by IntellectbyProxy:

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Originally posted by Pyx_e:
I think IbP is being drawn to the dark side of the force.

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Better the dark side of the force than the dork side of the farce.

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A man stands on a mountain on a planet orbiting a medium star. The Star orbits the center of a galaxey. The galaxey is one of many. And the man proclams himself greater than God

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It is not the number of people at a funeral but the number of tears.

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F**k me running.

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I've walked past guys and could almost see the mosquitos dropping from the sky in their wake . Ditto for women.

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Your problem is you have delusions of adequacy.

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Mousethief, you apparently met one of the top ten contenders for the title of Thickest Racist of the Year. I wouldn't worry about him pouring petrol through your letter box. He'll probably pour it into his A:drive and try to email it to you.

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I've thought about it. I know what I am talking about. I am aware of the literature. I completely understand what you are saying. My opinion is different.I'll credit you with the intelligence to work out what that means for yourself.

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