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Source: (consider it) Thread: SoF Quotes File
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Okay a fabulous put-down. No need to say of whom.

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I do not think you are actually an idiot, but I do think you are doing an incredible job of acting the part.



--------------------
“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

Posts: 63086 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Pearl B4 Swine's addition to the Alphabestiary:
quote:
L is for Lamb
the wooly I AM.

Perfect!

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21288 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Callan, on the "Jeremy Corbyn Out" thread in Purgatory commenting on Labour challengers for the leadership of that party:

"If the recent Tory leadership election had been held by Labour, I suspect that we would currently be in the middle of a gripping contest between Stephen Crabb and Liam Fox."

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

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jrw
Shipmate
# 18045

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Eutychus in 'The other cheek' thread in purgatory.

quote:
I think revenge is a bit like masturbation. It's the prospect of release rather than the situation after it that drives people on. And once you've done it, you find out it doesn't actually satisfy anything.


--------------------
plug plug

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Tukai
Shipmate
# 12960

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From the Hell thread about Ryan Lochte [a badly behaved American swimmer, for those who have never heard of him]:

Schroedinger's Cat:
".....He doesn't represent the US. He represents the entitled, wealthy classes, the supra-national class of people who are more loathsome the more we see of them. "

to which Sioni Sais responded:
" Has Trump found a running mate?"

--------------------
A government that panders to the worst instincts of its people degrades the whole country for years to come.

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Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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mdijon in the US Presidential Election thread:

quote:
Do you suppose that Trump might actually be a lizard in disguise*? I'm not saying I know, I'm just saying some people have asked. I mean he does have those small hands. Could be. Has his campaign made a statement? Well, I don't know, I haven't heard one if they have. Why do you think they haven't made a statement, seems like it would be the easiest thing in the world to do.

* OK, not very good disguise.



--------------------
"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Wow. Good answer.
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Steve Langton:
quote:
Originally posted by fausto:
quote:
Originally posted by Steve Langton:
it's ended up something of an unholy mess with no clear stance on anything....

Or perhaps it would be better described as a holy mess? [Biased]
"Holy mess" is something of a contradiction in terms [Smile]
So you're saying your DM doesn't allow Chaotic Good?


--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Soror Magna
Shipmate
# 9881

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lilBuddha gives us a koan on the Hacked off at Buddhists thread:

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
...I've been told a Buddhist should be much more calm than I am. To which I give the serene reply: "Shut your fucking mouth before I demonstrate one fist clapping". ...



--------------------
"You come with me to room 1013 over at the hospital, I'll show you America. Terminal, crazy and mean." -- Tony Kushner, "Angels in America"

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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On that note:
Anyone can get mad. Anyone can fire off nasty remarks an Hell. But you have to respect the person who takes the time and effort to turn their Hellfire into a masterpiece:

quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Jesus wept!*
[Unfortunate Target], I am revoking your right to criticise [Subject of Hell Call]** Your inability to grasp the use of examples implies a level of mental constipation*** only slightly lower than his.****

*Figure of speechº, I do not mean he literally wept.ⁱ
**This is sarcasm¹, I do not have this authority² and likely would not use it if I did.
***Also a figure of speechº
****This is slight hyperbole.³

º a word or phrase used in a nonliteral sense to add rhetorical force to a spoken or written passage
¹ the use of ironyₐ to mock or convey contempt
² the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience.
³ exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literallyₔ

ₐ the expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect

ₔ This definition is for the benefit of everyone as very few people get it right.


ⁱ Not saying he did not weep, either. I never met him and, like I said earlier, it is a figure of speech.*



[ 25. September 2016, 19:58: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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You got there before me Kelly.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18039 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Mamacita

Lakefront liberal
# 3659

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On the US Presidential Election 2016 thread, this is cliffdweller's take on last night's debate:

quote:

I think Trump's audition for Fox's new reality show, "Candidate Island" went quite well.



--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Martin60 throws down the gauntlet in the Gnostic thread:

quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
We tend not to kiss arse here. Especially when it's being spoken through.



--------------------
“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

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Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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Oh that is brilliant, Martin! [Smile]

I very much enjoyed this, from Callan, on the US Presidential election thread:

quote:
I know that Miss Universe's are supposed to avoid controversy but in the vanishingly unlikely event that I ever got the gig and Donald Trump had a pop at my looks I'd be like: "Dude, I'm Miss fucking Universe, and I got the job because I am smoking hot and want greater understanding between nations and you, sunshine, are a fat xenophobic twat with a rug on his head, so go fuck yourself". If the current Miss Universe requires a speech writer my rates are very reasonable.


--------------------
"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5756 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
basso

Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228

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lilBuddha in the chilies thread:

quote:

Love chocolate actually. Well, even Love is inadequate, I mean, one loves people and people are a poor substitute for chocolate.


Posts: 4342 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy

Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333

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Firenze giving us a giggle!

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
Apropos of nothing much: in Czech they add the female suffix to foreign names. So there she's J K Rowlingova.



--------------------
Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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From ArachnidinElmet on the Praise and Thanksgiving thread:

God definitely moves in mysterious ways when he answers prayers. I prayed hard for a pianist and singers and received a bongo player, which turned out to be surprisingly perfect. [Yipee] [Votive]

Ain't it so.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24000 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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From the tears of tragedy, the soil of Quotes File brilliance is watered:

quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:
If you haven't seen the reports of this, say so, and I'll post links.
I was tempted to ignore this because I'm depressed enough already, but better know the worst.

I'm sorely tempted to revert to the archives and remind myself what we were arguing about during the Bush era. This is turning into that line from Crocodile Dundee. "OMG! That's a really bad Republican administration"
"Nah, that's not a really bad Republican administration. THIS is a really bad Republican administration!".



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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On a thread where several posters suggest that solving the problem of cell phones ringing in church is dead easy, and only idiots get caught out:

Originally posted by Utrecht Catholic:
quote:
One good advice, leave your Phone at home or in your car.
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Oh how blessed are ye of perfect memory! How beloved of God! What ye put down, ye remember to pick up again. What ye take off, ye remember to put on again. What ye turn off, ye remember to turn on again.

Therefore we entreat: Pray for us of bad memory. Remember us in our misery, we beg of you. For we fear to put things down, lest we forget to pick them up again. We fear to take things off, lest we forget to put them on again. We fear to turn things off, lest we forget to turn them back on again.

Look not upon us with scorn, ye mighty ones. Consider with pity our plight. For we have not chosen to be forgetful, but accept our miserable condition as best we can, and strive to cope by whatever means we may find.

Therefore do we pray unto you, who are blessed by the Almighty with abilities we can only dream of, that ye might lay off, and give unto us a break that doth fuck.



--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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From a discussion about valid, invalid, illicit, and irregular consecration of the Eucharist:

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
Spell Failure Table (Consecrate Elements)

Roll d10

1-5: Bread and wine remain bread and wine. Power points lost

6-8: Elements transmuted, but turn immediately back again as effect fails to achieve permanence.

9: Bread toasted; wine mulled

10: Spell over-reaches; accidents also transformed, making a right mess on the altar.

I hope it's as funny outside its more serious context.

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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[Killing me] [Overused]

--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"I've come to the conclusion that, very rare though it is that one can say such a thing, to have voted for Trump is not just stupid, immature, naive or unwise, but does actually tip over into being a sin." -- Enoch

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

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Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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From Doc Tor on the Castro thread in Purgatory:

When Jesus said "You'll always have the poor with you", it wasn't a campaign pledge.

--------------------
Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

Posts: 7358 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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I suspect that this, from Mudfrog, was a typo. But if not, all time classic.

quote:
All in all, we are simply required to look up, be ready and ensure that we are not left behi


--------------------
How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

Posts: 9692 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
I suspect that this, from Mudfrog, was a typo. But if not, all time classic.

quote:
All in all, we are simply required to look up, be ready and ensure that we are not left behi

I'm pretty sure it's the latter, not a typo!

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7667 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
I suspect that this, from Mudfrog, was a typo. But if not, all time classic.

quote:
All in all, we are simply required to look up, be ready and ensure that we are not left behi

I'm pretty sure it's the latter, not a typo!
I just assumed it was 'beyond his control'. Have we seen Mudfrog since?
[Eek!]

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9444 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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"Faith is shown by works. Like yours. Beliefs are two a penny." -- Martin60

--------------------
"We're not in Wonderland anymore, Alice." – Charles Manson

Posts: 10275 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
I suspect that this, from Mudfrog, was a typo. But if not, all time classic.

quote:
All in all, we are simply required to look up, be ready and ensure that we are not left behi

I'm pretty sure it's the latter, not a typo!
I just assumed it was 'beyond his control'. Have we seen Mudfrog since?
[Eek!]

Who'dathunkit? Muddy the only Shipmate to be of the elect...

--------------------
Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17606 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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What an awesome way to make an exit.

--------------------
“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

Posts: 63086 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061

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I am awestruck.
[Cool]

--------------------
Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page

Posts: 5650 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014  |  IP: Logged
mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520

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And I'm awestruck by the ability to distill the gay bakery thread into this;

quote:
Originally posted by Eliab:
Yes, you can kill with a carrot. Yes, you can discriminate against people with big noses. But sensible people, and sensible legislators, will be a little more worried about guns and homophobia.



--------------------
mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon

Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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This is probably many pages back on this thread, but I was looking at my personal quotes file and this quote seemed quite prophetic of our times:
quote:
Pyx_e:
We are way past "white flag of surrender" land and are currently galloping through "foaming at the mouth" land with "doing 60 mph into a brick wall" land clearly in sight.
I can't watch.

I miss Pyx_e. [Tear]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21288 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
I miss Pyx_e. [Tear]

He did stop by the "Why daddy's nose bleeds: responsibility and disease and addiction" thread in Purgatory a couple of times on Friday. I also wish he were around more often.

--------------------
Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9444 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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Thanks! I'll check it out! [Yipee]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21288 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520

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Just saw;
quote:
There are no visitors on this board. Quiet, isn't it?
on the eighth day board for which the current topic is the quiet zone.

[ 06. January 2017, 07:09: Message edited by: mdijon ]

Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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I'm still loving RuthW's response when Rook started name-checking a number of rarely seen Shipmates.

quote:
To me it sounds like RooK's running his own weird version of Pokemon Go on the Ship.


--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18039 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
The thing is, people and ideas are not static with respect to each other. And, fundamentally, the differentiation of the two is absolutely necessary for a society to flourish.

Ideas need to be tested, and mistrusted until they withstand some reasonable scrutiny. A brutal culling of weak ideas is the machinery of reason. By exposing ourselves to many ideas, we get to reap the benefits of testing them against each other and thereby improving our understandings. Meanwhile, while people are one of the ways that ideas are carried, it helps if they're afforded some basic respect and forgiveness for sometimes not being right...

Sometimes I worry that we scare away people who disagree with some of us. But then I look at how little we agree with each other - other than on the value of being decent fucking people. And it seems obvious that what we scare away are mostly just shitty people.



--------------------
"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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Spike, on the "Before Church" thread in Heaven, proving that one really shouldn't eat too much cheese before going to bed:
quote:
... I remain is a state of semi slumber as my dreams are invaded by Claire Balding and a bit later on by some bishop or another ...


--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 19581 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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WW nails it in the Rosencrantz game in the Circus:
quote:
Could the future assassin of the President Elect of the USA be called Dundonald?
[Killing me] [Killing me]

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 19581 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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This is so horribly accurate:

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
Power attracts the corruptible. Suspect any who seek it.
Frank Herbert.

Pyx_e's guide to becoming a religion scholar

1/ The Bible is THE WORD OF GOD

2/ If I do what it says the I get THE POWER OF GOD (not unlike the power of castle Grayskull I imagine)

3/ Power is always defined by "the right" and "the wrong." Find "the wrong" in you then find people to give it to (poors , poofs and peculiars always a good start). Pour out your hate for yourself on them and use THE POWER OF GOD to justify it.

4/ Sit pretty.


There. Easy. Good job I never do any of that shit.

Pyx_e

Mt 20.26 : It will not be so among you, but whoever desires to become great among you must be your servant. dammit

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

Posts: 12642 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
quote:
Plus there's the small entropy monster, who spends his life carrying small objects around the house until he finds a different small object that he prefers. You can tell where he's been by the trail of out-of place objects in surprise cupboards, shelves, and so on.

I love this. A small entropy monster--I have the extra-large economy size one myself, and now I have the right phrase to describe him.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19991 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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I'm still not entirely sure if I agree or disagree, but on the Standing With Sweden thread Martin60 knocked the stuffing out of me with this one (particularly the bolded sentence):

quote:
His constituency's confidence cannot fail. Satire and liberal whinging are NOT speaking to power. Cost the opportunity of actually doing social action.


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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5756 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pigwidgeon

Ship's Owl
# 10192

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On the All Saints thread, "Where are you now?" discussing our changes (or lack of change) in our churchmanship over our lifetimes, no prophet's flag is set so... mentioned making a lot of things out of clay in Sunday School:
quote:
...don't put a penis on a clay Easter bunny unless it can be mistaken for a tail!
[Killing me]

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Don't keep calm. Go change the world.

Posts: 9444 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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Sarah G, on how the crucifixion wasn't exactly what people were expecting:
quote:
Originally posted by Sarah G:

It's like ordering a pizza, and having a dead badger delivered.


Posts: 4831 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081

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Simontoad on Martin60's stream-of-consciousness approach to spirituality:

quote:
All theology should be lived like the milk is off and there's no long-life in the cupboard.


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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy

Posts: 17159 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Piglet on the Lands of the Southern Cross thread in All Saints on the subject of soup:

"D's definition of a good restaurant is one where they can make a soup that he likes out of ingredients that he doesn't (a notable example having been red pepper and aubergine)."

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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24000 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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People, people, people, this is a no- brainer. Why did it languish so long uncollected?

quote:
orfeo retorted:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
This has turned into that most annoying of discussions - where all the current participants agree with each other fundamentally on the core topic, but insist on arguing semantics (probably for imaginary points). And I hate all of you for it.

For my benefit, exude from your tear ducts a quantity of liquid sufficient to fill a watercourse.


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"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35053 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

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Only posted a few minutes ago, but it sums up the national mood perfectly. ArachnidinElmet on the UK Election thread in Hell:

quote:
I'm watching an episode of The Handmaid's Tale to cheer myself up...


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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5756 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688

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Hedgehog on politics:

quote:
I am tired of being ruled by children whose main ambition is to see how many wedgies they can give to the members of the opposition party.


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Rent my holiday home in the South of France

Posts: 3598 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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from Dafyd, long may he wave:

quote:
quote:

You also cleverly avoided my point, which rests on the fact....


Oh if only I had been able to find a point to avoid.



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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19991 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840

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quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
What if Archimedes had never existed?

We would not have had the old schoolyard joke about you-reeker
That stinks.
[Big Grin]

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Change is the only certainty of existence

Posts: 3084 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged



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