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Source: (consider it) Thread: AS: Fertility Problems II
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
And a [Votive] for those who read this wonderful news and wish it were them.

[Votive] My thoughts are with people who struggle in this area and I will never forget the love support and strain it has been in the last 4 years. Thankyou.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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It's getting a bit echo-y in here..

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Suze

Ship's Barmaid
# 5639

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It is, isn't it. 2005 has been a good year for the fertility thread dwellers - don't think there are too many of us left any more.

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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Bronwyn:

FAN-TAS-TIC!

Chukovsky:

I doubt it is as empty as you think, I suspect there will always be someone lurking in a corner of this thread. Not quite sure if they dare post a "me too" missive. Not much comfort I am afraid, it is a thread I'm sure you'd rather nobody was on including yourself.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Walking 18 miles to help Refugees get an education.

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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Well, I'll be back, I'm sure, in a few months. (That's when we'll be trying again.) So don't shut down altogether!

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Scooby-Doo
Shipmate
# 9822

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[Votive] [Votive] [Votive]

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Friendships multiply joy and divide grief.

[URL=http://https://[/URL]

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Selah
Apprentice
# 10665

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Hi. I guess I lost a month there, didn't I? what happened to the old thread? Is it still somewhere where it can be read? I guess I was/am really coming in on the end of things anyhow.

Bron, congratulations. Enjoy yourself [Smile]

Thank you to the person who lit a candle for me. I am touched.

I am still hanging in there. I guess reading all of the posts here make me sad because it makes me wish we could somehow afford ivf - but we still think God said no to this for us (not for others, just for us). Thanksgiving was really hard as we have no family who want to be with us and we cannot go to them (allergies to pets). Christmas we told our pastor we would love to open our house to anyone else who would like a place to be with people but we have received no takers yet.

Maybe next year. Maybe God will open the door for us to adopt....

Posts: 7 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Selah, we had a request from our university for people to host international students who can't go home, over Christmas, perhaps somewhere near you has the same needs?

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Suze

Ship's Barmaid
# 5639

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Friends of mine have a habit of inviting people for dinner that they know would be spending Christmas alone - that might be another thing to try if you feel you need people around you at this time of year.

LC I've a feeling this thread will be around for time to come.

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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell

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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Have tried several times to post here to say that I will never stop praying and looking in here. I really do not know what to say.

(((((hugs)))))))

This baby game is like that kids game in that you have to roll a 6 to start then move around, at any time you can be sent back to the beginning through no fault of your own, and sometimes the dice get lost so rolling a six is impossiable.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

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Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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A mother and daughter I know, who have little close family and both are retired, make sure they spend Christmas somewhere else than at home so as to be able to cope. A bit late now perhaps to arrange but worth thinking about.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Walking 18 miles to help Refugees get an education.

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chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Like I was saying, it's quiet in here.

We have an appointment with a gynaecologist next Friday (13th. Hmm. Well, we met on a Friday 13th and look where that got us!)

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Fool of a Took

chock full o' nuts
# 7412

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I'll be thinking of you, Chukovksy.

[Votive]

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Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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Ditto. [Votive]

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Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Like I was saying, it's quiet in here.

We have an appointment with a gynaecologist next Friday (13th. Hmm. Well, we met on a Friday 13th and look where that got us!)

Chukovsky, I will be thinking and praying for you. I guess I am very positive about some appts with gynes for myself as one finally listened to me, then took my case to a VERY high dr for advice and followed it to the letter except the bit I pushed her to change, then wow I am pregnant!!!!!

Not saying it always happens but it was after 4 years of unsucessful treatment and even the dr is excited I am pregnant she did have a part.

My only advice, ask lots of questions, and if you do not understand anything ask it to be explained to you.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Praying for you all as well.

May you find peace in your situations and grow in love for your partners - I know that can be very hard. [Votive]

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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

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chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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You may have already read on my blog, but it went OK - I have an operation booked for the 6th March. They suggest I take the week off, and I said this to my boss - who said, no, take 10 days!

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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Just to say I'm still around!

Still trying to lose the weight, and hoping that my body kicks itself into action once I do.

Prayers, praises and anything else beginning with p (petunias?) to everyone on this thread.

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Searching for a new sig...

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Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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chukovsky, thats fab!

[Votive] for all.

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Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

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Uriel
Shipmate
# 2248

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Dear all,

Just dropping in to see how everything is going. Good to hear that things are progressing with some of you - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Sean, Bron and the little one.

Mrs Uriel and I, having tried for 3 years before having our first child in February 2004 found it easier second time around and now have a little boy. He was born in November and is doing very well. We never spoke to people about our problems when trying for our first, except occasionally posting on the Ship. When Emily was born we were involved in a service at church and said a little bit about our journey. We were later amazed at the number of people in our congregation who had been through a similar experience.

We found it tremendously hard trying for Emily, and the months while Mrs Uriel was pregnant were very scary - we interpreted everything as a sign that things might be going wrong. But now we have our two we are very glad that we managed to keep going through a very difficult, often lonely time.

With love and prayers,

Uriel.

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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Just also wanted to put my thoughts into words. Gill I pray that weight just falls off. Chukovsky that you are calm before the operation and it is a sucess.
Vickki's Daughter as she struggles with pain and life.
Lambed Chopped, Scooby and Selah.
A silent battle which we can not talk about freely with so many. A pain which often hurts when we see a child with a parent, a pregnant woman or a child who has been hurt or abused, or an unwanted child. Hugs to those battlers.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Suze

Ship's Barmaid
# 5639

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A first for me last night. I was out for dinner with a friend and was able to talk calmly about my feelings of not having children. No tears, searing pain or unintelligble sniffling sobbing - just very open, honest chat about what I hoped for and how I'm doing just now. I am really sad, sometimes more than others, but last night's conversation was a real milestone for me.

I don't post much here at the moment, but I always read though. [Votive]

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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell

Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Dee.
Ship's Theological Acrobat
# 5681

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[Votive] [Votive]

For those of you who are still here and still struggling. Well done for achieving such an empowering milestone Suze...I admire you all so much...you are a really brave bunch of people!

[Axe murder]

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Jesus - nice bloke, bit religious

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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Bronwyn:
A silent battle which we can not talk about freely with so many. A pain which often hurts when we see a child with a parent, a pregnant woman or a child who has been hurt or abused, or an unwanted child. Hugs to those battlers.

Bron, I would like to adapt this to use in prayers of intercession. Would this be okay?

Continued prayers for those posting on this thread.

bb

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Of course you can Babybear. Was reminded just how hard it is being an infertile person at church on Sunday. Sean had refused payment for a small job (cost him less than $5 Australian to do). He actually had gone home as we had brought seperate cars. It was mentioned to me. I said if Sean has made that decision fine with me Sean and I are quite happy to make independent decisions about money even large amounts. He then went on to say now we will be needing all the money we can get as a baby is coming. I say we will cope and he went on to say this one is only the beginning...one day you will be comming here with a whole heard of children and we will sigh and wonder how we will cope. I say this is in all likelyhood our only one and he continues to say God will provide ect...I actually feel at this point a bit of frustration as I protest that I do know my medical history. (Although frustrated I am not offended yet) The bit that offended me was his wife who was trying to calm the situation down by saying 'Bronwyn is a nurse she THINKS she knows about things'

I gave up knowing I would say something I would regret if I didn't like last time this lady had said something. My hearts desire would be to have a few children maybe 4 but the reality is I will never have them. We have one stored embryo frozen and maybe it will work but probably we will only have this one.

My thoughts and prayers went out and continue to those others who have suffered this treatment, been told things like trust in God, heard one too many times a story of a miricle conceptions, 'helpful' comments about how babies come (as if any infertile couple do not know how to um cuddle) The frustrations of the waiting for results, the pain emotional and physical of treatment and the cost. And most of all the loneliness and heartache of realising it hasn't worked and the clinic making you have a blood test anyway. The crying out to God in the night why?, the feelings it is my fault as I am the infertile one. The feelings of guilt that in the past I had not looked after myself, which may have contributed to issues now. The depression and tears. The emotions which come with hearing of a sucess and the question of 'why not me?' when someone concieves and making that effort to congratulate them

My thoughts and prayers are with all who suffer.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

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duchess

Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764

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((((Bronwyn))))

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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

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chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Well done Bron for not slapping them...

As for me, my op is Monday and I'm currently planning my daytime TV watching for my week off work... all other tests seem to be normal...

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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331

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[Votive] for Chukovsky.

And [Overused] to Bronwyn for not ripping the man's arm off and beating him to death with it. I would have done. Still, you mustn't overexert yourself, must you? [Biased]

Jane R

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Mr. Spouse

Ship's Pedant
# 3353

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Just letting everyone know that Chukovsky had her op today. All went well and no problems discovered.

She is still a bit groggy from the anasthetic but recovering with the aid of painkillers & chocolate!

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Try to have a thought of your own, thinking is so important. - Blackadder

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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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quote:
Originally posted by madferret:
Just letting everyone know that Chukovsky had her op today. All went well and no problems discovered.

She is still a bit groggy from the anasthetic but recovering with the aid of painkillers & chocolate!

Let her rest and big hugs OXOXOXO. Give her my love too if you remember.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Oh that's great news! SO glad there was no endo!! [Yipee]

Give her my love, please.

Vikki xxx

P.S. I'd have slapped her, Bron! In the Lord, obviously, for her spiritual growth. You could almost say it would have been a prophetic slap.

And THEN you could have blamed your hormones!

[Two face]

[ 07. March 2006, 07:52: Message edited by: Vikki Pollard ]

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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by madferret:
Just letting everyone know that Chukovsky had her op today. All went well and no problems discovered.

She is still a bit groggy from the anasthetic but recovering with the aid of painkillers & chocolate!

[Big Grin]

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Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15182 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Both intravenous? [Ultra confused]

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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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No - both orally administered!

I'm feeling a lot less groggy now, but posting this sitting up in bed from my laptop.

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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Great to see you back!

REeeeeeeeeeeest!! [Smile] [Axe murder]

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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Michèle

Bunny sister
# 1401

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[Votive] for all who post, and for all who don't.

x

Posts: 944 | From: Dissertation Hell | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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Funny, I was thinking about this thread earlier too.

[Votive]

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Many big thank yous to those who sponsored us.

I use £6m of military hardware to find hidden Tupperware in the woods.

Posts: 15182 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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So was I. I prayed for two people with PCOS last night and spent much of the time trying not to burst into tears.

Prayers for all.

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Searching for a new sig...

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Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Hugs and prayers. People who suffer infertility are always on my mind.

[Axe murder] [Votive] [Axe murder] [Votive] [Axe murder] [Votive]

It is something so close to my heart, a silent battle.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Thank you Bronwyn - some people say that you never stop being infertile, even if you end up bearing children.

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Cranmer's baggage

Ship's Opinionated Dame
# 1662

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quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Thank you Bronwyn - some people say that you never stop being infertile, even if you end up bearing children.

I think there's truth in that. Certainly, I've never forgotten the experience of infertility, and I hope the memory makes me more sensitive to others who are walking the same road. I guess another issue for those of us with PCOS or similar causes to our infertility is that even when we finally have children, we still have a lifetime of living with the condition.

[Votive] for all those facing the challenge of infertility.

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Eschew obfuscation!

Posts: 1537 | From: the apple isle | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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Yes, it's true.

Even today, in the deepest core of myself I still think of myself as a infertile and childless person. I just happen to have a child now.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19958 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Yes I hadn't really thought about it as an infertile woman but yes I might have a child inside me I will always be infertile. I as an infertile person will not end the story with and then I had a baby and everything was alright...leaving the many people behind who happen to have not 'hit the jackpot, been lucky or whatever, we are in this together.

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548

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Thanks for that insight. I'll try and remember that when I talk to people with such problems.

I wonder though if people who have never managed to have children would see you as infertile still? I somehow doubt it. It must stir up all kinds of issues for them and you as you interact.

I read this thread and pray for people often, too.

Lucy may well still have issues in this area. At the very least her condition (2 wombs, only the smaller one connected to an ovary, possibility of other things connected with endo) gives rise to a much higher miscarriage rate.

But as Holly said, "Anyone can have problems. Lucy might sail through with lots of help and I might be walking round just not yet knowing I will never have kids."

She doesn't take it for granted. I suppose if there is any silver at all in this horrendous situation some of you are in, it is that others around might learn not to make assumptions about their own fertility or underate the precious gift which is matching eggs and sperm doing their thang when they ought.

[Tear] [Votive]

[ 02. April 2006, 08:12: Message edited by: Vikki Pollard ]

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"I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)

Posts: 5695 | From: The Far Side | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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quote:
Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
I wonder though if people who have never managed to have children would see you as infertile still? I somehow doubt it. It must stir up all kinds of issues for them and you as you interact.

I think that may depend on a lot of things: how you see yourself, how you interact with other people, and how sensitive you are, importantly whether you are trying to have more children: for some people, having a second or subsequent child is only going to mean the same heartache and pain.

And for some people, discovering they cannot bear children leads fairly quickly to a decision not to do so, with relatively easy acceptance of this; either to remain fairly happily child-free, or to adopt children.

For others infertility is only discovered after having one or more children easily (secondary infertility - some people would classify infertility after miscarriage in the same way). This is much less well understood, as people think if you've got pregnant easily once, you're bound to do so again.

If anyone in the UK has been watching The Family Man, I thought it quite interesting they had a woman with secondary infertility, as this is rarely addressed.

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Suze

Ship's Barmaid
# 5639

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I think the secondary infertility issue is an interesting one that seems to run in my family. Both my mum and sister got pregnant with their first child very easily indeed but really struggled thereafter. Although my mum had five children, it was over the course of 20 years having never used any kind of birth control. My sister never had any other children. To be honest I've never really thought of either of them as infertile because they both have at least one child but I suppose medically they are.

quote:
And for some people, discovering they cannot bear children leads fairly quickly to a decision not to do so, with relatively easy acceptance of this; either to remain fairly happily child-free, or to adopt children.
I guess this is where I am now, although not having children was neither a quick or easy decision and accepting that I won't have children isn't an easy thing at all - but for my own sanity I needed to decide whether to go through the endless rounds of IVF/adoption process neither of which have any guarantee for success with all the raised/dashed hopes that go along with it or accept that this wasn't part of my plan and see where I end up. I simply don't have the emotional energy to go through it all.

I don't know how I see women how have suffered infertility who then go on to have children - many of whom have posted on here. I'm always delighted to see Bron and Perceval and others posting but I guess I'm still struggling with the idea that God's answer to infertility will always be to give a child. I simply don't believe that though just about every book I've read and every sermon I've heard on infertility starts with "we tried for so long and begged God to give us children" and ends with "now we have little Amy/Josh/whoever... God is sooo good". An offshoot of the prosperity gospel thing I suppose but I don't hear people saying "this is a sore pain that doesn't go but God eases it over time and makes it bearable". That's where I am, hoping that God will, in time, make it bearable.

Woah, that was more than I meant - have been on a weekend away where I've been really struck by how much I'm still struggling with this. Bugger.

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' You stay here and I'll go look for God, that won't be hard cos I know where he's not, and I will bring him back with me , then he'll listen , then he'll see' Richard Shindell

Posts: 2603 | From: where the angels sleep | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bronwyn
Shipmate
# 52

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Hugs and prayers Suze. Anything I say you have heard before.

[Votive] [Votive] [Angel] [Angel]

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Fragile X syndrome is part of our lives. Someone I love makes me proud who has this syndrome. I love you Miriam.

Posts: 1221 | From: Melbourne (Australia) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pants

Emergency underwear
# 999

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quote:
Originally posted by Suze:
...- have been on a weekend away where I've been really struck by how much I'm still struggling with this. Bugger.

[Votive]

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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
I thought it quite interesting they had a woman with secondary infertility, as this is rarely addressed.

This is the position my cousin was in. She had no problems becoming pregnant with her first child, infact she was shocked how quickly she became pregnant.

When her little girl was 2 my cousin decided to try again. She kept on trying for 2 years, and then she went through the various fertility treatments.

However, she only told her Mum because her brother and his wife and my brother and his wife were also going through fertility treatment. As she already had a beautiful, healthy girl she didn't feel able to discuss it with the others. She felt greedy and grasping.

My family has been exceptionally lucky with IVF and each couple now has two children born as a result. Of the 12 children in my extended family 6 of them are IVF babies. Given the success rates of IVF, I am amazed.

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Well, sorry to resurrect this thread (again!) but rather than clog up the prayer thread, thought I'd say I'm at home again having had a couple of days' TLC at my mum's, and it is very hard - I don't really feel like doing very much - I have said I'll take a week off work, which seemed like plenty at the start of the week, but now I'm not so sure.

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