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Originally posted by Sine Nomine:

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Originally posted by RooK:
I'm sure you can recall one of your cohorts involved with the original idea. Now listen carefully: they were setting you up to look like an idiot. Again. Please allow this to notch that rusty clockwork you use for a brain ahead enough cogs so that can realize that you should be angry about this. Let me help you get even.

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You know, Miss CeeCee, you really are a piece of work. Hosts and Admins were specifically prohibited from taking part in this competition. But you just couldn't stand it, could you? You have posted not once, but twice where you had no business posting at all.

What is it with you? You mock and ridicule Heaven and fluffy bunnies, but as soon as there's some attention to be garnered, you're up here like a shot screaming "Look at me! Look at me! Don't forget little WooKie! Me! Me! Me! I'm so clever. Please tell me I'm clever!"

Well, hon, get a grip. You're not. You're just a pathetic, bald, emotionally needy Canuckistani who couldn't even get a job in his own pathetic country and had emigrate (doubtlessly illegally) to a real nation to find employment.

I really suspect Bel can run these boards and this competitionn without your "help". So why don't you trot on back to Hell where you can ponce around to the admiring comments of your ass-licking little clique of so-called "denizens".

We don't need you up here. Really we don't.

And by the way...nobody really believes you about your mythical girlfriend or your mythical car. Most of us stopped making things up to appear cool when we were sixteen or so. While I realize that is your approximate emotional age, it doesn't become you. Anymore than those kinky drawings and jejune poetry on your website do.

God, you're weird. Weird and pathetic. What a freak.

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Wonderfully done sweetie! You’ve taken a real live post, so that we can all see the context, and systematically set about destroying the poster. I like the name-changes, and your careful layering of insults built up to an impressive climax. The psychoanalysis was clever, but I would have preferred a few more of those effortless sarcastic put-downs that I know you can produce so well. However, a brilliant effort, even with that caveat.

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Wow, that was cold, dawg. You made me feel bad for the man, really. I've never seen someone put the hurt on like that. Remind me to keep you on my Christmas list.

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It was fine. Proof-reading and ‘Preview Post’ would have helped. I’ll put you through to the next round. Can’t see you getting much further, however. Them’s the breaks.

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Originally posted by The Wanderer:
Purgatory: Decimilisation is the root of all evil

It amazes me that this important topic has never come up before. Surely it is clear that ever sonce our glorious country abandoned the Imperial System we have been in free fall, without God's blessing upon us? Metrication is based on an arbitary whim - in the entire cosmos why shoud a precentage of the earth's diameter be important? Yards, feet and inches are grounded in the human frame, wshich God declared "very good" in Genesis, and "a little lower than the angels" in Psalms.

Pounds, shillings and pence are inhernetly more Christian than decimal currency because you can be more generous with them. If you have 10p you can divide them between, 10, 5 or 2 people. If youy have 12d (the glorious shilling) you can share them with 12, 6, 3, 4 or 2 people - it is a system with built in benevolence. What is more, if God had wanted us to use base 10, wouldn't he have called 10 tribes of Israel? Or 10 apostles? And did he? I think not!

Metrication is clealry the work of heathen nations, the sort of thing we are commanded to refrain from in Leviticus. When will we rise up as a nation, repent of our pagan practises, and return to the ways of our godly forefathers?

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Originally posted by Gort:
Heaven
(Hosted by: The Coot jr., Stoo jr., KenWritez jr.)

Great-Great Grandson of TDA is Born...
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Posted 29 November, 2018 23:35
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Since our last dating thread reached 25 pages and has been closed...again...I thought someone should make an attempt to bolster the fading hope of all my lonely geriatric friends out there who, after all these years, have yet to find that someone special. So, with faith in Christ that my desperate plea will be answered, I once again start this thread.

As many of you know, when duchess left me last year to enter the Convent of Saint Sappho of Lesvos, I have been without a companion. Please know that in spite of how things appear with regard to our breakup, I really am still a decent person and all those rumours of cult rituals and flagellation are completely false.

Anyway, I'm still available...anyone want to flirt or meet me in the Cafe?
__________________________________________________________
Posts: 102,326 - From: Babbling Creek Rest Home - Registered: May 2004 - IP: Unknown

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Originally posted by Mad Geo:
Sisterhood.

Pah!

Another bunch of whiners in search of a clue. Because, God knows, if they were searching for a cause, they couldn't find it if it was nailed to their cushy well rounded netherparts with a jackhammer.

Let me enlighten you "sisters". The reason women can't get ahead is that they can't stop infighting amongst their catty backstabbing donut-stuffing selves. Small wonder we use you as receptionists.

Glass Ceiling? Hah! Waa Waa Waaaaaaa! Sniffle. You're breaking my heart. The glass ceiling can't be broken because there are 40 women hanging on to the leg of one woman trying to climb the ladder! Your nothing but easy targets for your betters. Your betters, of course, being Men.

You see, having a big swingin' hangy-down-thing really enables one to discern what's important, that being, letting you women think that whining and bellyachin' is going to get you into the corporate office with the golden toilets (the one's we never let you see). We figure (correctly) that as long as you are busy whining, we can actually get the real work down and show the Good Ole Boys that they were right all along, women should be in the bedroom and out of the boardroom.

Now if you find this offensive, we understand how PMS works. It's okay. We'll wait for you to get over it, we always have.

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Originally posted by Grits:
I’m only giving you a high score because of your dangly. To make up for it.
Score: 3

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Originally posted by Belisarius:

GRITS:

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[Not available at this time; will be printed when it arrives. As Grits gave none of the other Contestants a 0, we will assume she will give Sine at least a 1.]

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Score: 1 or Higher

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Grits said:That was just gross, dude. Old people in love is creepy.
Score: 1

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It may be old and gross and it may feel like shooting pool with a rope, but we elderly 'hangy downs' need love too.

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--Formerly: Gort--

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Even if Chorister were to sing 'I just wanna praise you x3' it would still sound heavenly!

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Well. Little Miss Fotherington-Tomas. Let me just say that your post was the nicest bit of niceness I have ever read. Of course my voice would enhance the sound of any choral item you may care to think of. (Flutters eyelashes modestly) But there is only one person in the world who is capable of making such a fluffetty song sound halfway acceptable to the human ear, and that is you, my dear sweet halo clouds, halo sky, feathery one . I will recommend you for the prized solo, as I shall unfortunately be unavoidably delayed that day, running in the opposite direction - trying to beat the 2-minute mile record, all in aid of my favourite musical charity, of course......

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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.

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Originally posted by HappyCatNanny:
I LOVE mullets soooo much. My 8-year old son wears one, like his sweet daddy. He looks soooo cute! I think Ozzie Osbourne's show will soon bring back the mullet. Those 80s, that were the days.

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Originally posted by RooK:
Isn't it just adorable how Mad Geo sticks to his roots?

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Originally posted by PrincessTyneeMeet:
I just adore gay guys. One of my best friends is gay. My stylist, Dwade. He is sooo cute and always makes me laugh while he's touching up my roots. I feel kinda bad sometimes 'cause my pastor says gay guys are going to Hell and my boyfriend, Dirk, is mean to them sometimes 'cause he thinks what they do in bed is kinda gross. But I keep telling Dirk he needs to let Dwade give him a makeover likes those cute little guys on TV do.

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Hi, Princess. Welcome to the ship! I see this is your fifth post. And you're already starting a thread. Good for you. I admire a newbie with confidence. I just know you'll be a real addition to the boards with your perkiness and enthusiasm.

I really luv gay guys too. Some of my best friends are gay, just like yours. My stylist, Danny, is just a stitch. We laugh and laugh when he cuts my hair. Sometimes I have to tell him to cut back on the mousse a bit, 'cause too much mousse looks a little, well, fagola to me. If you know what I mean. Which I'm sure you do.

Good luck with getting a makeover for Dirk. I bet he'll really like Dwade once he gets to know him. After a couple of blow dries they'll probably be great friends. Dirk will probably want a weekly appointment for a cut & blow. He'll be a changed man. A real metrosexual. I bet you'll hardly recognize him.

Anyway, look around the ship and explore the various boards. Come on down and post some on the Hell board. We have a lot of laughs down there. Hope to see you in Hell ( ) soon!

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Hi!!! I've been "lurking" for quite a while and have worked up the "courage" to start a thread!!!! Gosh this is a nice place!! Except for Hell. I mean, "really"!!!
I thought I would start up a thread so that you can all give me some "good advice".

My name is Bliss Nanny (though not really, of course!!) and I am 21 and I have this really "hot" boyfriend, who has posted a couple of times (his ship name is "BlissBoy" ), on topics that are seemingly topical, but are really secret love messages to me ( ) and I miss him sooooo much between breakfast and lunch, when he is at school. We are engaged to be engaged. Gosh I love him.

My interests are my boyfriend, my boyfriend's hobbies (mainly me!!! ).

So, "Shipmates" and "apprentices" (gosh, what great names!!}, what advice do you have for me, as a newbie to "the Ship". Where should I "hang out"?
With love
Bliss Nanny.

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Hi everyone. I'm an avid banner maker, and was so excited to find yet another Christian website where I could meet other banner makers.

Banners truly glorify God in a way that no other form of worship can come close to. Don't you agree that waving the banner as we sing makes our whole soul sing with us? I think every church should do it.

Personally I'm into big, bright banners. The last one I made was red with a gold trim, and had the words "Jesus really loves me" on it. It was so touching to wave it during our recent praise march through town. What have you done lately with your banners? Have you found the banner that fits all occassions?

Making the banner is as much fun as using it - except when my cat tries to go to sleep on the fabric!

God simply adores it when we wave our banners to Him!!!!

So "let it fly in the sky and let the whole world know!!"

Twee

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Hi Something Twee,

Hmm, banners. Where to begin?

Personally I'm of the ultra-ultra-minimalist ilk when it comes to banners and flags. The smaller the better.

I definitely can't think of a banner that would benefit all occasions. Come to that I struggle to think of an occasion that would benefit from having any banners. With the possible exception of a banner burning evening.

Not that I'm doubting your talents in this field. Perhaps you are the exception that will prove the rule.

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Originally posted by Something Twee:
God simply adores it when we wave our banners to Him!!!!

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Then I guess even the Almighty finds it hard to be completely perfect.

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Originally posted by Tim Connery-Dalton:
It really is so obvious that Bond has to be played by a man. Not only do we have the intellegence, good looks and humour that you women lack, we also have the physical strength(where's that 'fit bloke' smilie when you need it, can the Hosts provide us with one please?)

Do you ever see a man cry over splitting a nail after jumping out of a plane at two thousand feet, free falling (no parachute) to the ground, landing perfectly without so much as a graze and then running off to save Miss Moneypenny from the evil, scary, bad guy?

Do we ever take an eternity to decide what clothes we are going to wear on a mission of the highest secrecy?: "No, I can't possibly go and protect the Queen wearing this red top, it doesn't suit my eyes"... "does my bum look too big in this ski suit, are the weapons of mass destruction secretly concealed inside it making my boobs look lopsided?".

Sheesh! IMO, the world would come to a halt if a woman ever even dared to suggest herself for the high powered job of playing Bond. As an aside, I personally think that the only change that needs to be made is a Knighthood. "My name is Bond, James Bond but you will call me Sir"

Have you no sense people? Men are the better and stronger sex both physically and mentally. We never feel the need to go to the bathroom in pairs for saftey. Actually, on reflection, in some cases (like famous singers) that might be true but that's another thread, and I would not like to post anything slanderous here. But, can you not get it through your female brains that there is no Bond better than a male Bond? Sheesh, you'll be saying you what a female blonde Bond next!

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<Edited by Sir Tim-the-Man for effect, as if Bond would ever mess up his code >

Timmy dear, you either have an one heck of an overly-inflated ego (chosing my words carefully here ) or perhaps you have spent too much time dreaming of what you could have achieved IRL. Darling boy, as much as us women love and respect our male friends, lovers and heros, you just do not seem to comprehend that if it was not for us women the world would come to a halt. I shall not witter on about periods, child-birth, feminism and the difference between colds and flu since it is not appropriate here, this is Heaven after all.

Timbo, you seem to have failed to realise that if Jane Bond did happen to break a nail after free-falling from a great hight, or if she could not decide what clothes to wear whilst saving Mr Moneypenny from the big bad guys, or if our "boobs" did look lop-sided in our ski suit, there would be a crew person and/or make-up artist on set to make sure we always look as wonderful as we are.

As for the strength, well let's face it my friend, we may not all be painfully thin supermodels but we are the creators, the ones you come home to, the ones who are always there when you have had a hard day at work, the ones who cook for you, clean the house, make sure the shopping is done, make sure there is a meal on the table, make sure that you have enough beers in the fridge when the match is on. Women are strong in body and mind, we have to be to put up with your chaps!

Tim, I know you are a really nice, sweet chap (thanks for buying me a pint at the recent GB meet btw ) but you really need to come to your senses over this issue.

I stand by my previous post (see page two of your thread) and vote:

Dawn French for the part of Jane Bond.


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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Originally posted by Mad Geo:
Is there a no commenting rule we missed?

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Originally posted by Chorister:
(Note how I keep interrupting with vacuous comments. I wonder if 'anyone' will take the hint and notice how irritating it can be....)

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Sorry, did someone just say something?

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Originally posted by Vikki Pollard:

One of the great things about the Ship is the tolerance shown to people who sometimes don't quite 'get' it (unless one is called to Hell, of course ) and so I hope you will all bear with me for simply sticking to what I'd understood to be the rules. I hope I haven't spoilt it for anyone.

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Almost originally posted by Vikki Pollard:
Feel free to PM me and I will fire off a grovelling apology

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Sister, can you please clean out your in-box, it seems to be full

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Originally posted by The Guitar God
Hi everbody!!! Im Todd, THE GUITAR GOD and you can read about me here on web page Me and my girlfrend Myrtle just found Jesus and then we found this wonderfull Christin community and we re all excited to be hear LOL.

PTL!!!

So I have a cool idea for a fun thred. We went to a chruch were they had this big honkin PIPE ORGAN!!! Man I couldnt' beleive the sound it made or the music -- durges LOL. We'are lookin for a place where we can ROCK THE CHURCH and make the music with OUR BAND!!! but first lets think of some fun thing to do with a dead pipe organ.

First fun idea: MAKE A STILL with some of the pipes for tubing.

Second fun idea: TARGET PRACTISS, nuff said.

Thrid fun idea: ...

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Originally posted by Chorister:
(Note how I keep interrupting with vacuous comments. I wonder if 'anyone' will take the hint and notice how irritating it can be....)

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Originally posted by ken:

<snip!>
Anyway everyone knows that your ancestors weren't killed by the Indians because your ancestors were obviously colonialists and invaders and oppressors and did most of the killing themselves. In the unlikely event any of them got killed themselves they obvioulsly must have deserved it!

And of course you voted for Indian Gaming. After all those centuries of oppression who could be so cruel as to stop them playing a few games? Baseball, perhaps?

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Ken, since you are almost as Protestant as I am, I begged my mom to look through her list of ancestors and find the NAMES of the ancestors killed by Indians. I also forgot to add Indians killing off people around them was commonplace which I included an example.

BTW, one of my ancestors, Sam Barr, great-or great-great, was a Swedish Borgian, my mom just yelled from the other room. I am AT my mother's house and she just looked this letter up for me in her pile of ancestor papers. I am going to save this post in my archieve for anyone else who wants to diss me and my ancestors - (forerunners which explains why I got to exist after most of this family was killed off ).

This is from a letter from Robert Sloan Alexander to Mitchell Patterson...Brookings, South Dakota March 12, 1910....to try make it succint...this man is 85 years old who wrote this letter. He is my grandmother Harriet (the one in Iowa who is now 97)'s great great uncle. Robert Sloan Alexander's grandfather was my great great great Grandfather. His name was William Alexander. William Alexander married Susan Knox who is my great-great-great-grandma on My grandmother Harriet's side. Robert Sloan Alexander is the 85 year old writing this letter to Mitchell Patterson.


Scott Alexander in 1902 told me that in the archieves of Pa. William Alexander, my granfather was a captain of a Co. for defense against the Indians, in the Revolutionary stuggle. He married Susan Knox who when a little girl had been taken prisoner in the previous French and Indian war. She was with the Indians in the wilds of Ohio 3 years and was finally exahnged at Fort Duquesne, Pittsburg. I remember her quite well. Oh! that I could have known to have her tales written.

(There I will put in what I heard from Aunt Angie (my father's eldest sister, Susan Angeline McCune Hill)) The family of Susan Knox, were her father, mother, older brother, and an older sister, and a baby. The day the Indians came her older sister was away from home. The Indians killed the father and son (or her brother) when they fought defending the family. The baby was swung against a tree, and the mother died from exhaustion. Susan [duchess's great-great-great grandma] was saved only because a squaw took a fancy to her and took care of her. When she was exchanged [at] Fort Duqesne, the older sister recoginized her by a piece of dress material and by her pet name. The older sister became the mother of James Knox Polk, on President of these United States.)

The older sister Jane Knox married Samuel Polk and produced James Knox Polk. Source here.

(BTW, James Knox Polk was a great-grandnephew of John Knox, the founder of Scottish Presbyterianism, which makes me [duchess] in a way even more Protestant (pls figure this out, especially if you are Scottish and don't like me). James Knox Polk was my great-great uncle. Source, this letter and also history from http://www.reidpres.com/ scroll down U.S. Presidents and others who were Presbyterians) James K. Polk married Susan Knox's older sister.


In the early Indian war times, my grandfrather, Andrew Reid <snip!>'s leaving was about the time when a whole school had been murdered by the Indians, near where they lived [Franklin Co.] No doubt you have read of it in history.

I have more stories if you wish, but that will do for now.

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Originally posted by Chorister:
Did one of his ancestors have a cat?

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That was cute.

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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

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Originally posted by dolphy:
From the Heaven thread: Women are not good enough to play the new Bond.

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Originally posted by Tim Connery-Dalton:
Do you ever see a man cry over splitting a nail after jumping out of a plane at two thousand feet,....

Do we ever take an eternity to decide what clothes we are going to wear on a mission of the highest secrecy?: "No, I can't possibly go and protect the Queen wearing this red top, it doesn't suit my eyes"...

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