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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gort:
...underwear...wedding ring...family thread...dreams of 103.
I thought this was Hints from Heloise.
quote:
How do you take crayon off painted walls or washable wallpaper?
Spray with multipurpose lubricating oil (dont let it drip on the floor). Then gently wipe, using a paper towel or clean white cloth. If mark is stubborn, sprinkle a little baking soda on a damp sponge and gently rub in a circular motion. If lubricants residue remains, dampen a sponge with a solution of one or two drops of mild dish-washing liquid to one cup water. Squeeze out sponge and gently rub in a circular motion. Rinse sponge; lightly moisten with water to go over area; dry with a clean cloth
Feel better?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Dear Uncle Sine
My friend's husband is one of those insufferable "I'm a better Christian than you are, nah-nee-nah-nee-nah-nah" types. He continually sniggers and snorts when others around discuss their church and their faith, whatever the setting.
Next week, my husband and I are invited to dinner with my friend, her husband and other persons we know. Apart from Mr A and I, (who are a lapsed Catholic and shocking heathen, respectively), the rest are churchgoers and, if past dinners are anything to go by, church and religion will be a topic of discussion, particularly after the third glass of wine.
I suppose one solution would be to simply invoke the No Politics, Sex or Religion To Be Discussed at the Dinner Table rule, but since it's not my dinner party, I might be considered a bit over-bearing were I to do so.
However, I simply cannot take another evening of listening to his rudeness with polite resignation.
What should I do? Do I steer the conversation to sex and politics? Do I just walk out?
Please advise.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
I simply cannot take another evening of listening to his rudeness with polite resignation.
Please advise.
Sit yourself down right next to him. Say something like "Of course I'm not a Christian, but I'm interested in religion. I've even been hanging out a on Christian discussion board trying to learn a little more about it."
What you want to do is be a shit-bestirrer in an ever-so-polite and interested way. Let the other guests do your dirty work for you. That way you can't be blamed.
If he says "Catholics worship the Virgin Mary" say "Really? How interesting. I didn't know that." Then turn to a Catholic in the room and say "Tell me more about that."
If he snorts about something someone else says ask "Why are you snorting? You obviously disagree. What's your take on it?" When he explains his POV ask the other person for clarification.
You get the idea. Between what you've picked up on the ship and your legal talents you ought to be able to turn the whole room against him while just sitting there smiling and being interested.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by hedonism_bot:
Dear Sine,
An ecclesiastical chum of mine has a recurring nightmare in which Mr Elton John, the popular pianist, attends a funeral at his church. This neurosis began at the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, during which Mr John was allowed to attend (and indeed participate in) an Anglican funeral service in an Abbey Church while wearing a hairpiece so unrealistic that it was to all intents and purposes a hat. My friend fears that Mr John may attempt to enter his church sporting the same garment, and is in sore need of a polite form of words with which he could insist on it's removal. Can you advise?
Fishing line strung in the church door at scalp height would be my suggestion. Or a prominent notice discouraging musicians from wearing their pets on their heads.
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2^8, eight bits to a byte
Posts: 3967 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Dear Sine
It’s so good to find a source of reliable advice – thank you so much for your help here.
Now a little question with which I’m sure a person of your experience will be able to assist.
You may be aware that in December this year it will become possible to register a “civil partnership” over here, including one between two people of the same gender. Shortly after the legislation come into effect two friends of mine (both male) intend to get registered, certified, confirmed, whatever-the-word-is. Until now I have always arranged dinner parties where they have been present on the usual boy-girl-boy-girl basis, considering that their domestic arrangements are not my concern (I’m reminded of the delightful story of the scurrilous journalist, making enquiries of Benjamin Britten and Peter Piers’ neighbours).
Although the powers that be have said that these registration do not equate to marriage, it’s clear that for some, including my friends, they will be significant events(although they have indicated that they will not be leading the dancing with the first waltz – I think there may be some dispute over who would lead).
Should my seating arrangements for dinner parties change in light of this event? Should I treat is in a similar manner to a couple getting married, putting them next to each other at first and then apart after the first year – on the grounds that no married couple can possibly have anything left to say to each other after a year?
Yours
Chapelhead
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Should my seating arrangements for dinner parties change in light of this event?
You know, life only gets more complicated and people just walk around looking for something to be offended about. And they'll probably be wanting some sort of civil-partnership present and be expecting their friends to throw them a shower as well. We shall all have to go to the outlet mall and buy masses of discounted blenders to give as gifts. It's bad enough as it is with one's straight friends.
But that's not really what you were asking. Sorry. Pushed a button.
Of course the real problem is why one has to invite one's friends as pairs anyway. It's not as though one likes them both the same or they're equally interesting. Yet the dull one or the drunken one always expects to be invited out too. Pity you can't have two tables and put all the dull ones back in the library and just have the fun ones in the dining room.
In any case, you're stuck with both of them. But one assumes they've already been cohabitating for at least a year so I'd count that retroactively and separate them. Straight or gay, nothing kills the conversation at dinner like having couples sitting next to each other.
But why do you insist on boy-girl-boy-girl anyway? To paraphrase Miss Manners, you've invited them for conversation, not mating. I do think it's time we moved beyond thinking the table must represent some sort of sexual symmetry. But yes, I know. It just looks so odd somehow and it's hard to be a revolutionary.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
As ever, valuable advice. Thank you.
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
one assumes they've already been cohabitating for at least a year so I'd count that retroactively and separate them.
Indeed so, in my circle of friends of a similar age they are the couple who have been together the longest. Occasionally I’ll look at some old group photo (a wedding or suchlike) and realise that of all the “couples” present (including the married ones) they are the only pair still together.
As for gifts and so on, I don’t think they are expecting anything (but perhaps they would say that) but everyone seems unsure about the “form” (all a bit new, this side of the pond). Discussions have revealed that intend to have some sort of “reception”, but don’t particularly want dancing – partly because it seems compulsory for the DJ to play “Lady in Red” on such occasions, and that won’t be quite appropriate.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
Dear Uncle Sine;
a short question for your definitive pronouncement, yet one which may, I fear, provoke a more complex answer than first appears apparent.
Public nose-blowing, sufferable or insufferable?
yours sincere(ish)ly,
Mrs. Trellis from North Wales
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
Public nose-blowing, sufferable or insufferable?
I think you have to consider what the alternatives are. One good blow, as it were, up against a long period of snuffling, snorting, and noisily swallowing big wads of snot?
No contest in my mind, especially assuming you've got a tissue or hankerchief handy.
...just don't examine the outcome like precious jewels. OK?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
Sine, unusually, is so wrong here.
Nose-blowing, like farting, or spitting, should be done in privacy whenever possible. You don't need to suffer in silence - but you do need to withdraw out of sight, out of earshot, and above all out of aerosol range. I don't care whether you snort, wipe, or blow - just do it far enough away that I don't have to notice which.
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
you do need to withdraw out of sight, out of earshot, and above all out of aerosol range.
I agree. If possible.
But if you're, say, riding in my car with me I'd much rather you went ahead and gave one good blow than sit there and snort and swallow the whole time.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
...don't examine the outcome like precious jewels.
An ettiquette manual from the 1500s includes that advice, as well as "it is rude to address someone while they are urinating or defecating."
Speaking of sneezing--if someone has a (not medically alarming) sneezing fit, how many times should a polite response (bless you, etc.) be made? Is twice sufficient?
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
Is twice sufficient?
Personally, I go with twice. By the third time I think "Geez, Mary, what's your problem?" is appropriate.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
My mom's method is to bless twice, then snip, "That's it, I blessed you twice, that should be enough."
My friend has a more gentile approach. She blesses twice, then cheerfully says on the third sneeze, "Do you need me to call a priest?"
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
I almost always sneeze in threes. My friends know this and wait for the third sneeze before they say "Bless you."
What I would like to know from Sine, though, is if it's rude not to say "Bless you" when someone sneezes. As we have long since let go of the idea that sneezing has something to do with evil spirits, I wish we could get rid of this custom. I particularly dislike the hearty "Bless you!" some people give that is louder than the sneeze itself. Any chance this whole thing will just eventually go away? Is it awful of me to ignore someone's sneeze and not say "Bless you"?
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
I think the whole idea of saying, "bless you" is an effort to help the offender recover from the embarrassment of involuntarily sharing germs.
As "bless you" has become rather old fashioned in any other context (outside of church, anyway) it seems a more encouraging and comforting thing to say would be, "Good catch!"
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Goodric
Shipmate
# 8001
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Posted
Dear Uncle Sine,
Can you please help me with this genuine dilemma. There are occasions when visiting some houses on social occasions that one has to use the facilities.
Sometimes, sadly, the facilities can't cope with - er shall we say "solids" as well as they ought to in a civilised country like ours. (If it were a Mediterranean W/C I wouldn't be at all surprised). So one is left with the initial dilemma. Does one wait and attempt to flush again (and if so how many times should one attempt to flush), does one attempt to poke the miscreant menace round the bend or does one just walk away and pretend it was there when you came to use it? Should one also discreetly advise the host that their facility isn't "up to it" and that they need a new loo?
This has happened to me and I do find it rather a stiff problem.
Yours, on Andrex.
Goodric
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Happy Christmas Everyone You can find me here
Gone to a better place.
Posts: 7160 | From: You all know anyway | Registered: Jul 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
An ettiquette manual from the 1500s includes that advice, as well as "it is rude to address someone while they are urinating or defecating."
True also today, I think. I hate being acknowledged by co-workers in the office men's room.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
My mom's method is to bless twice, then snip, "That's it, I blessed you twice, that should be enough."
My friend has a more gentile approach. She blesses twice, then cheerfully says on the third sneeze, "Do you need me to call a priest?"
If that's the gentile approach, I guess the Jewish approach would be to ask "Do you need me to call a rabbi?". ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Goodric:
Sometimes, sadly, the facilities can't cope with - er shall we say "solids" as well as they ought to in a civilised country like ours.
This has happened to me as well and I've found one method seems to work more times than not. When flushing, hold the flush lever down until everything in the bowl has drained away.
Odds are pretty good your host already knows the toilet doesn't flush as it should, so he shouldn't be surprised if you tell him.
However, I defer to Sine on informing the host.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by KenWritez:
I defer to Sine on informing the host.
I 'specs there's no reason to mention it, unless you need to stick your head out the door and request a plunger.
As KenWritez said, they already know it.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Fool of a Took
chock full o' nuts
# 7412
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Posted
Sine,
Out here in the colonies, we do tend to get excited about royal visits. Or at least, we who were influenced by my grandmother as small children do.
I will be attending a service of worship with HRH the Earl of Wessex. And lots of excited-about-royalty types, who I tend to think of as resembling my Grandmother in other ways, such as their attention to detail of comportment of which I know just enough to know I do not know enough.
Does this occasion merit the acquisition of a hat?
(I assume, if the answer is 'yes', a very different hat from the one pictured is in order)
Posts: 1205 | From: Toronto-ish | Registered: Jun 2004
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R.A.M.
Shipmate
# 7390
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Posted
I'll defer on the specifics of deportment; however I do know in the presence of the Queen hats are usual; but (apart from very formal day occasions like weddings etc) but not compulsory by any means. For the Earl I suspect the same would apply; most of those there will have hats - but noone (noone in the know ie the Vistors) will look askance if you are hatless.
Owen who is trying to remember if Earls are "Your Graces" or not.
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Formerly Real Ale Methodist
Back after prolonged absence...
Posts: 1584 | From: (Sunshine on) Leith | Registered: Jun 2004
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Dear Uncle Sine
Why can't people just be nice to each other? What advice can you give to promote good manners, tolerance, love and understanding among ship folk?
Thanks, in anticipation.
LATA
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
I have a quandry requiring a solution of the utmost dimensions in delicacy and propriety.
I lead a modest church choir; nevertheless respectable in it's own way.
We have been requested by a good friend (young and in love) to provide a recital midway through the service. I was just wondering whether to go with something run of the mill and safe......perhaps Love Divine All Loves Excelling. He has just dropped off "the music" by which he means a tape; containing some sort of modern gospel music........ I recently passed his bride to be in a walkway (note careful phrasing) who was "really looking forward to the music."
Apparently this song has great significance to them as couple.
I would shudder at any service; more so a wedding. I don't know if I can go through with it. Oh rash promise, to regret at leisure.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Corpus cani
Ship's Anachronism
# 1663
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Real Ale Methodist:
...trying to remember if Earls are "Your Graces" or not.
Earls are not - Dukes are. Wessex, however, is a Prince of the Blood Royal and is, therefore, a "Your Royal Highness."
Corpus
Posts: 4435 | From: Trumpton | Registered: Nov 2001
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Real Ale Methodist:
Owen who is trying to remember if Earls are "Your Graces" or not.
fret no more - simply carry this little list around, and you'll know how to address (correctly, of course) everyone you might meet. Of course, Sine has no need of such memoranda.
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
What advice can you give to promote good manners, tolerance, love and understanding among ship folk?
Just remember everybody else has as much right to be on this planet (or ship) as you do. Supposedly God doesn't make mistakes, as difficult as it can be to wrap one's mind around that concept upon occasion.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mdijon:
I have a quandry requiring a solution of the utmost dimensions in delicacy and propriety.
We have been requested by a good friend (young and in love) to provide a recital midway through the service.
I don't know if I can go through with it.
I'm not sure I've got enough info here. A church wedding right? At your church? I assume there is a priest or minister involved who has final say over what's appropriate musically. Can't he or she nix it so you don't have to be the bad guy?
Or is just a question of "not to your taste"? In which case you have to grin and bear it. Looking on the bright side, when they get divorced in six months you can always say "What did anyone expect, considering the tacky music they picked for their wedding."
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Corpus cani:
Wessex, however, is a Prince of the Blood Royal and is, therefore, a "Your Royal Highness."
Yes, but don't call him that unless you're a servant. Call him "sir". Or "girlfriend", depending.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Custard
Shipmate
# 5402
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
fret no more - simply carry this little list around, and you'll know how to address (correctly, of course) everyone you might meet. Of course, Sine has no need of such memoranda.
I know it's Debrett's, but I'm pretty sure it's wrong on the issue of the use of "Lord Bishop". IIRC, the most senior (by length of service as bishop) N diocesan bishops are "Lord Bishop", the rest aren't. The value of N means it works out that you become a "Lord Bishop" after about 5 years.
If anyone knows better, please correct me.
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blog
Adam's likeness, Lord, efface;
Stamp thine image in its place.
Posts: 4523 | From: Snot's Place | Registered: Jan 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I have a visitor coming for the weekend. I'm working loads of hours between now and then. My house is a mess. Which room is it most important to tidy for said guest - my bedroom, the kitchen or the living room. I don't have time to do all three properly but I don't want said guest to be disgusted at my lack of tidyness.
So which do I tidy and clean properly and which do I hope said guest ignores?
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Dear Sine,
Sorry to post twice on your wonderfully useful thread but I have another dilemma.
My mother has had some children's books published. She thinks they're wonderful. They're not. They're cunningly disguised, vomit inducing morality tales where everyone loves Jesus and says a prayer on the last page and everything is shiny lovely. What do I say when she asks my opinion?
As a good Christian girl am I required to be honest and tell her I'd rather read Alisteir Crowley to any passing child or do I simper in an encouraging manner?
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
Which room is it most important to tidy for said guest - my bedroom, the kitchen or the living room.
I notice you don't say anything about the guest room, which leads to some interesting speculation. So I'd say forget the kitchen and the living room. Put clean sheets on your bed and get the bathroom sanitized. Anyone can forgive a messy living room or kitchen, but a dirty bathroom is kinda gross. As for dirty sheets...let's not even go there.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
My mother has had some children's books published. She thinks they're wonderful. They're not. They're cunningly disguised, vomit inducing morality tales where everyone loves Jesus and says a prayer on the last page and everything is shiny lovely. What do I say when she asks my opinion?
As a good Christian girl am I required to be honest and tell her I'd rather read Alisteir Crowley to any passing child or do I simper in an encouraging manner?
Oh my! I hate it when people try to fool Uncle SIne with trick questions. Quite obviously the books are only the current skirmish in an ongoing war with your mother. One daren't guess what the real issue is here. Well, actually one can guess.
Obviously you want to hurt your mother's feelings as some sort of payback. If that's what you want to do, go ahead and - I won't say "tell the truth" because the truth is totally subjective here - give her your honest opinion.
Now one could wonder why you'd want to do that since the books are already a done deal. Still, I understand your not wanting to lie. How about you avoid commenting on the books directly and when asked say something like "I'm really proud of you, Mom."? Or would that be outside the normal rules of mother/daughter warfare?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
A church wedding right? At your church? I assume there is a priest or minister involved who has final say over what's appropriate musically. Can't he or she nix it so you don't have to be the bad guy?...............Looking on the bright side, when they get divorced in six months you can always say "What did anyone expect, considering the tacky music they picked for their wedding."
Yes, my church - Yes, the minister. The vicar will hate it. He'd never agree if he found out in time. I must let it slip somehow..... maybe we could be practicing the piece at just the time he passes the hall from his office for home......
I'll bear your second suggestion in mind.
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
The juxtaposition of the advice to mdjohn and chive reminds me of a friend's wedding.
She got married in a hotel (which was very unusual in the UK at the time) and the wedding was overall very beautiful. However, the string quartet she had hired to play during the ceremony were frequently out of tune and sounded, to me at least, like four cats.
Hugal and I decided that if anyone asked us what we thought of the music, we would say "What a lovely idea it was to have a string quartet!" Truthful yet diplomatic - it was indeed a lovely idea.
Sadly no-one asked. Oh well.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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R.A.M.
Shipmate
# 7390
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Posted
Highness and Majesty are early modern inventions anyway (especially majesty) a small part of me would want to call the Queen a grace anyway. If it was good enough for Henry VIII...
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Formerly Real Ale Methodist
Back after prolonged absence...
Posts: 1584 | From: (Sunshine on) Leith | Registered: Jun 2004
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
It suddenly occurred to me that the phrase Your Grace may have been originally a way of reminding a powerful figure that he should be benevolent in the use of his power.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
err... it appears that my link to Debretts has snuffed it - I blame Custard's questioning its accuracy m'self ![[Biased]](wink.gif) .
Could some very nice hostly personage maybe wave a magically magical magic wand over it and make it all better?
It may, of course, be nothing to do with the link, as I am unable to get the site to come up - tried pedestrianly typing in the URL, going to it through Google - all has failed.
Uncle Sine,
Could you advise me, please; is it necessary for me to atone for the devastating decease of my heretofore virile and vital link to
a) the hosts
or
b) the hoi polloi
or is my puzzled, yet sincere, grovelling apology all that is required?
yours in deepest distress
Mrs Trellis ,
North Wales
[edited to thank the shipmate who pm-ed me to alert me to the sad status of the link I posted earlier. Your attention to ettiquette here is muchly appreciated ]
[ 03. June 2005, 00:16: Message edited by: luvanddaisies ]
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
Uncle Sine,
Could you advise me, please; is it necessary for me to atone for the devastating decease of my heretofore virile and vital link
Only if you killed it.
If you were an innocent bystander a mild expression of regret is more than adequate.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Geezer:
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
An ettiquette manual from the 1500s includes that advice, as well as "it is rude to address someone while they are urinating or defecating."
True also today, I think. I hate being acknowledged by co-workers in the office men's room.
Yeah, me too.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Now one could wonder why you'd want to do that since the books are already a done deal. Still, I understand your not wanting to lie. How about you avoid commenting on the books directly and when asked say something like "I'm really proud of you, Mom."? Or would that be outside the normal rules of mother/daughter warfare?
Totally within, I'd say. Just brace yourself for the response which might be something along the lines of:
"Since you like it, I'll give you some copies. You can give them to your friends. [Insert names of friends who are considered suitable recipients.]"
"Glad you like them so much. I'm writing another one, and I'm giving the heroine your name. It's based on you when you were a little girl, so I'm sure you'll enjoy it."
"I'm glad you've finally started seeing things my way. It'll make life much easier."
On the other hand, there are some mothers who'll say, "Thank you," and be genuinely pleased. Only Chive knows how her mother will react.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
My mother has had some children's books published. She thinks they're wonderful. They're not. They're cunningly disguised, vomit inducing morality tales where everyone loves Jesus and says a prayer on the last page and everything is shiny lovely. What do I say when she asks my opinion?
Not that I would pre-empt Uncle Sine's sage counsel - but your predicament does remind me of a television production agreement I was once called to advise on.
My client, an elderly and fastidious gentlemen, had written and illustrated some children's stories about two little teddy bears. The little bears lived in a dear little cottage in the sub-Toytown woods and had all sorts of adventures, where they were noble, caring and sharing and of course respectful to their elders.
You can well imagine that my client was completely unaware just how unselfconciously camp the little teddy bears were.
Privately, I did not hold out much hope for the concept. Nevertheless it was sent to an animation house for the animation concept to be worked up and a series treatment written. The animator was a brisk, no-nonsense Northerner, who thought the little bears showed promise but needed a some development work.
I still remember my client's shocked response when he saw the results. "But my little bears are wholesome little bears! They don't put their hats on backwards and say "Yo!"
It's so much easier to get third parties to do your hatchet work for you.
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2^8, eight bits to a byte
Posts: 3967 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
err... it appears that my link to Debretts has snuffed it
HOST ON
Nope, LD, it still works.
HOST OFF
I'm glad you posted it, I've even bookmarked it so I know how to address the nobs when I'm finally presented at Court. None of this, "Hey, m'lud, what's shakin'?" or "Yo, Excellency!" stuff for me!
(I'll be sure to've cleared my wardrobe with Sine beforehand.)
No one's so keen on nobility as a (small 'r') republican, dontcha know.
[ 03. June 2005, 06:12: Message edited by: KenWritez ]
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Dormouse
Glis glis – Ship's rodent
# 5954
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Posted
Dear Sine,
As you might have picked up on from other threads Mr D and I are planning to move to foreign climes.
I wish to have a leaving party but have several questions:
1. Is it "done" to throw one's own leaving party, or should I suggest to my friends that they do...?
2. When should it be? - We don't have a clear leaving date yet, just a woolly "round about the end of July". But we'd need to book somewhere. Should I try for mid July? I wory that having had a leaving bash, turning up at work on Monday might seem odd.
3. The place we'd planned to use has a bar, but no food. Is it OK to ask people to bring food? Should we provide a cake?
4. Decorations? If we organise, we decorate - but then it seems odd to put up "You're Leaving" banners... Tasteful French flags? (Are they ever tasteful?!) No decorations? (The room has black curtains all round as it's used as a performance space - a little dreary without decorations..)
Of course, all this depends on whether the space is free for hire; but I would value the advice of Someone Who Knows. Mr D & I are not good party throwers - only ever done three & the only one that really worked was a shared party, at a friend's house.
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What are you doing for Lent?
40 days, 40 reflections, 40 acts of generosity. Join the #40acts challenge for #Lent and let's start a movement. www.40acts.org.uk
Posts: 3042 | From: 'twixt les Bois Noirs & Les Monts de la Madeleine | Registered: May 2004
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Archimandrite
Shipmate
# 3997
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Custard.:
quote:
Originally posted by luvanddaisies:
fret no more - simply carry this little list around, and you'll know how to address (correctly, of course) everyone you might meet. Of course, Sine has no need of such memoranda.
I know it's Debrett's, but I'm pretty sure it's wrong on the issue of the use of "Lord Bishop". IIRC, the most senior (by length of service as bishop) N diocesan bishops are "Lord Bishop", the rest aren't. The value of N means it works out that you become a "Lord Bishop" after about 5 years.
If anyone knows better, please correct me.
All Church of England diocesan bishops are styled "Right Reverend Father in God, by Divine Permission, Lord Bishop of _____." This has nothing to do with whether they have a seat in the House of Lords. Cantuar and Ebor are also "By Divine Providence, Lord Bishop of X." I don't know what the rubric is for Suffragans and Winged Types, but I'm sure somebody else will.
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"Loyal Anglican" (Warning: General Synod may differ).
Posts: 1580 | From: Oxford | Registered: Jan 2003
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Cosmo
Shipmate
# 117
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Posted
All diocesan and suffragan bishops are formally addressed as 'the Lord Bishop of X'. They can be spoken to as 'My Lord' also.
Assistant bishops do not get such excitement. Thus winged bishops are in a peculiar position as they are both bishops suffragan and, of ten, assistant bishops in various dioceses.
I would suggest that as they are bishops suffragan of the Archbishop of Canterbury or York then they are entitled to a 'Lord Bishop' and a 'My Lord' no matter in which diocese they happen to operating.
As Archimandrite so correctly points out, the styling of bishops as 'My Lord' has nothing to do with their taking up of a place in the Lords. It is arguable that they are all Lords Spiritual but as the number of places in the House for them is restricted in number not all of them get their Writ of Summons. The same is true of the hereditary Lords Temporal; as their number in the House is restricted to 92 (a grievous and barbaric act of course) then not of them, of course, receive a Writ of Summons. That doesn't stop them being peers or being addressed as such.
Cosmo
Posts: 2375 | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dormouse:
I wish to have a leaving party but have several questions:
Is it "done" to throw one's own leaving party, or should I suggest to my friends that they do...?
You can't ever ask other people to entertain you. Ever! Ever!! Ever!!! (Unless you happen to be Queen Elizabeth I and wish to ruin them financially.) If anybody cared that much you were leaving they would have already planned a party for you. Since they haven't don't try and guilt them into it. What would be the fun of that?
But certainly you can throw your own party. However "Yea! We're leaving all you suckers to live in France" doesn't seem the best of party themes. Why don't you recast it as "We're sorry to be leaving all our dear friends and wish to see you one last time - before you moochers start showing up on our French doorstep as uninvited houseguests."
quote:
I wory that having had a leaving bash, turning up at work on Monday might seem odd.
Not if you don't have any big "Hurray! We're leaving." banners strewn about the party. quote:
Is it OK to ask people to bring food? Should we provide a cake?
Erm...not really. I hate to say that, but not really. You're supposed to be entertaining them, not the other way round. So yes, you'd better provide food and a cake. Frankly it sounds like you just want a lot of hoopla and attention because you're leaving but don't want to go to any effort or expense yourself to provide it. quote:
If we organise, we decorate - but then it seems odd to put up "You're Leaving" banners...
You're right. and "We're Leaving" banners would be even odder. How about "We'll Miss You" banners?
quote:
Mr D & I are not good party throwers - only ever done three & the only one that really worked was a shared party, at a friend's house.
You need to remember (or learn) that a party is more about your guests having a good time than the hosts having a good time. You get to have a good time at someone else's party.
(Actually, you'll have a good time if your guests are. But you need to think of them and their pleasure first. And if anybody says throwing a good party isn't a lot of work they're lying.)
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
quote:
Originally posted by The Geezer:
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
An ettiquette manual from the 1500s includes that advice, as well as "it is rude to address someone while they are urinating or defecating."
True also today, I think. I hate being acknowledged by co-workers in the office men's room.
Yeah, me too.
One can be acknowledged in the men's room but only if you are both doing exactly the same thing. And not if you are occupying traps 1 and 2 either. Talking through walls is not done.
Janine is quite right. One should never acknowledge ladies in the men's room.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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