Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Crappy Choruses and Horrible Hymns
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Tina
Shipmate
# 63
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Posted
Steve, just to help you out, (evil cackle) the last line of 'ha ha ha hosanna' is 'and I've got the joy of the Lord'. That's one way of putting it...
-------------------- Kindness is mandatory. Anger is necessary. Despair is a terrible idea. Despair is how they win. They won't win forever.
Posts: 503 | From: South London | Registered: May 2001
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David
Complete Bastard
# 3
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Posted
And now, for my all-time favourite example of mindless banality:A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-le-leui-ya, A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-le-leui-ya. A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-le-leui-ya, A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-----leleuia. Clap another hand, clap a hand next to ya, Clap another hand, as we sing this song. Clap another hand, clap a hand next to ya, Clap another hand, as we sing, sing this song! A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-le-leui-ya, A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-le-leui-ya. A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la-le-leui-ya, A-la-la-la-la,a-la-la---leleuia. et-bloody-cetera Nobody can beat that.
Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Oh, but the 'adult' version of that can be fun....
-------------------- *sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
In my children's Sunday school class they sing the most amasing amount of drivel.Tha-an-k you Lord fo-or this fine day, x3 Right where we are. Tha-an-k you Lord fo-or food to eat, x3 etc etc etc Now then, for your enjoyment and delectation I present to you the winning song from a hymn singing festival.
The world was lost and lonely and darkness filled the land; you sent your Son, Lord Jesus, To hold us by the hand. And Jesus' hand forever, Soothes all the pain away; He salves the broken spirit, Turns darkness into day. O may we be like Jesus And follow in His way By holding out the hand of love To all, in need, each day. bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Reepicheep
BANNED
# 60
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Posted
Oh - I loved "tha-ank you lord" when I was at school. Because we could all contribute a verse, as long as it fitted.And yes - I didn't realise that this censored words - it didn't remove one of my expletives in All Saints (Maddie did that), but removes words that begin with s. e. x. Most odd. So we can't discuss songs that are blatantly sexual in nature. But we can discuss mindless F**king. It kind of sums up Christian worship music of a contemporary nature. We can be as blatant as we like (whispering jesus name over and over), but if we want to talk about something difficult it gets pushed to the back. Love Angel
Posts: 2199 | Registered: May 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
yeah i noticed that. sometimes it seems to censor, sometimes it doesn't.
-------------------- On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by brodavid: I have about had it with the auto-censoring of my posts! For pity's sake, what if we want to discuss what the Bible says about the male/female relationship! I'm off to the "I Consign to Hell" thread.
You chose to post this in Hell, so I don’t want to hear a single complaint about what I’m going to say. This will be the only time I will say this without flaming your ass right off the board. Is there a thread about this in the Styx? I haven't seen it. If so, then point me to it. If not, then you might damn well better ask about such things before you go throwing around such an utterly IDIOTIC and INSULTING accusation. Considering that I've seen that word in several posts, including this very thread, it appears to be a USER problem to me. Erin sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
-------------------- Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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brodavid
Shipmate
# 460
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Erin: You chose to post this in Hell, so I don’t want to hear a single complaint about what I’m going to say. This will be the only time I will say this without flaming your ass right off the board.Is there a thread about this in the Styx? I haven't seen it. If so, then point me to it. If not, then you might damn well better ask about such things before you go throwing around such an utterly IDIOTIC and INSULTING accusation. Considering that I've seen that word in several posts, including this very thread, it appears to be a USER problem to me. Erin sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
The light has dawned, and I humbly apologise. As I have mentioned before, circumstances force me to use computers at the public library. The libraries in this system all have installed filter software, to prevent pervs from viewing porn while seated next to impressionable children. Best guess: Outgoing messages are also filtered.
I therefore apologize to the officers of this fine ship, and consign to Hell mindless filtering software that prevents serious discussion of adult topics.
-------------------- Brodavid
"Prayer can do anything that God can do." - E.M. Bounds
Posts: 702 | From: Mississippi, USA | Registered: Jun 2001
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
Apology accepted. These kinds of accusations really rub me the wrong way, so in the future, if you (the general you) run across something like this, please post an inquiry in the Styx before making accusations like this.
-------------------- Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
ok, i know this is a bit off topic, but since everyone is talking about it... the little anecdotes related here are a small example of why most of the librarian world is against the imposition of manditory web filters on our public access computers. its really much easier to keep an eye on what the kids are looking at and snarl "thats inapropriate for the library" when its neccessary.
-------------------- On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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PaulaLizBiz
SOCKPUPPET
# 631
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Posted
When I was eight years old, an American singer/songwriter came to our church and taught us some songs. So hideous were they, that I can recall them to the word, 19 years later. Just wondered if anyone else had heard these...I love Jesus better than ice cream and ice cream's very good (woobie doo doo) I love Jesus better than ice cream just like I know I should Even when I dont obey him and do all the things that I should Jesus loves me better than ice cream and ice cream's very good OR, (and this is my favourite) Aint it grand to be a Christian aint it grand Aint it grand to be a Christian aint it grand On monday, tuesday, w'dsday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and AAALLLLLLLLLLL day Sunday Aint it grand to be a Christian, aint it grand OH, and just one more that I learned as a wee impressionable Church kid.. Jump up and down to say you love the lord jump up and down to say you love the lord jump up and down to say you love the lord tell him you love him so Oh lord i love you and i'll jump up and down to say i love you,tell you i love you so. Funnil enough, in my Christian school, those who didnt have the energy to jump up and down (or in my case, were too tubby) were put on detention - hence one assembly full of heaving, jumping, puking kids. Ah yes, those were the days...
Posts: 7 | Registered: Jun 2001
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DMcV
Shipmate
# 545
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Posted
On a different strand of awfulness from the above, I've seen the hymn with this verse in hymnbooks though I can't recall having sung it:There is a fountain filled with blood, Drawn from Immanuel's veins, And sinners plunged beneath the flood, Lose all their guilty stains. As someone who has to look away during the operation bits of Animal Hospital, you can imagine how I react to that...
-------------------- You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?
Posts: 169 | From: Above and to the right of Glasgow | Registered: Jun 2001
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paulalizzie
BANNED
# 617
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Posted
Wow - I gotta say, the more I read these boards, the bore musical drivel seems to dredge itself up from my past! I really like the 'blood from Immanuel's veins' but - I remember singing that as a kid and thinking 'yeeeuuukkk'. Everyone else was far too serious to comment that this was a tad gross. We also used to sing a song that had the line '..but downward bends his burning eye at mysteries so bright'. Used to have nightmares about that bloody, scorched eyeball with flames shooting out of its pupil!I also remember it being really fashionable to take secular songs 'from the devil' and use them for 'the kingdom'. We used to sing 'Lord lift us up where we belong, where the eagles fly, on the mountains high, Lord lift us up where we belong, far from the world below up, where the spirit blows..' to the same music as 'LOVE lift us up..' And the bets one was the theme tune to 'Chariots of fire'. Some idiot made up new words and they went something like 'Come ride on my life Lord (WHAT??), Come ride on my life, Come ride on my life Lord, come ride on my life. And then, chorus..Forever and ever and ever and ever, Forever and Evvveeeerrrrr - and so on. Bet you're wondering what sort of looney church i went to...
Posts: 42 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
dmcv, oh sorry, didn't mean that as a rebuke, just thought that in light of our similar opinons on the hymn you might find my comments enjoyable, thats all.
-------------------- On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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David
Complete Bastard
# 3
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Posted
Some questions answered....And did those feet in Ancient time. Walk upon England's mountain green: No. And was the holy lamb of God, On England's pleasant pastures seen! No. And did the Countenance Divine. Shine forth upon our clouded hills? No. And was Jerusalem builded here, Among these dark Satanic Mills? Most definitely not. (Anyway, I can imagine the sky being clouded, but can't manage to stretch it to hills)
Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001
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ptarmigan
Shipmate
# 138
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Posted
I've just discovered gold in the attic - a tape entitled "Battle Cry" which is live worship from "Festival" - a jamboree in 1987 for certain strands of the UK House Church movement. It has good music and includes some of the bnest and worst of the then current choruses.Best include Michael Christ's "It's Your blood that cleanses me", the anonymous "Give thanks with a grateful heart" and others. But this thread is about bad ones. I want to serve the purpose of God in my generation. I want to serve the purpose of God while I am alive. I want to live my life for something that'll last forever
etc etc. (You sing "I want" 12 times; not "It is my duty and joy" to serve the purpose of God etc, but "I want") Shine Jesus Shine (of course, a song that scores near the top of Songs of Praise's lists of most loved songs and near the top of its list of most hated songs). And a wonderful song which is the only example I've encountered of a hymn about demons: They have no power against us Only what God allows Their pride has brought them down to earth. But our king and saviour caused their downfall He is the lamb, the Lord of all
etc and the plain silly: The nations are waiting for us They're dying to hear rthe song we sing The nations are waiting for us Waiting for the gospel we will bring That in each nation men may glorify the king
(maybe women will glorify queens) Both of these last two songs go on to major on imagery of the church as an army - a horrendous analogy It is hard to describe the musical vacuity of some of these songs in text. Pt
Posts: 1080 | From: UK - Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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BTMO
Shipmate
# 723
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Posted
Hate to drag this back off topic, but I only joined the fun today...This bit made me laugh: quote: I also heard that the isp that Scunthorpe wanted to use would not let them use scunthorpe as their name because of letters 2 to 5.
I have filtering software on my home computer, and it does BIZARRE things! If I end a sentence with a word that ends with "sh", then after hitting the return key, commence a sentence with "it", my wonderfully helpful filtering software assumes I am trying to trick it and pulls out the formatting and sticks the rude wird back together again - replacing the text with string of xxxx's. Which of course draws the word to the attention of the little darlings. It gives me the XXXXs... Cheers, Brenton
-------------------- Show them you care, stalk them.
Posts: 110 | From: Wellington, New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2001
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BTMO
Shipmate
# 723
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Posted
...and because I like to see a thread on topic as much as the next person...When we lived in Cairns (Australia) we used to sing this song about being as "white as snow" and "washed in the blood of the Lamb" One day I mentioned to my wife that it sounded like an advertisement for detergent. We laughed ourselves sick everytime we sang it after that! Cheers, Brenton
-------------------- Show them you care, stalk them.
Posts: 110 | From: Wellington, New Zealand | Registered: Jul 2001
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