Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Crappy Choruses and Horrible Hymns
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Amos
 Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
American, in point of fact. (Imagines morris dancing to the Louvin Bros. )
-------------------- At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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ptarmigan
Shipmate
# 138
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Posted
Never heard of Louvin Bros. Do they play melodeons, accordians, concertinas the like?
-------------------- All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)
Posts: 1080 | From: UK - Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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da_musicman
Shipmate
# 1018
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Posted
I'll probably get crucified for this but I really like the Hey Lord,O Lord song.(Covers head with hands and duck)
Posts: 3202 | From: The Dreaming | Registered: Jul 2001
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Altano
Shipmate
# 969
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Posted
So here are some more of my observationsWedding "songs" for the Elvis impersonator in October - I once had to sing the Hawaian Wedding song ("Blue skies of Hawaii shine on this our wedding day" in suburban Adelaide) as the couple were having their honeymoon in Hawaii - when will Sumserlerve be struck off? I had to sing "The Rose" just this afternoon... - "Let's call the whole thing off" - has been done here but I wasn't there All Saints - we still do "Boomfer" Bad matches "At the name of Jesus" to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon" and something else to the tune of "Morningtown Ride" More later perhaps? ALTANO
Posts: 55 | From: Great Southern Land | Registered: Jul 2001
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Peronel
 The typo slayer
# 569
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Posted
We experienced the following 'delightful', and theologically inaccurate stanza's today."We have been crucified with Christ, Now we shall live forever." That would be the Christ who was crucified on our behalf, for our sins, so we *didn't* have to be up there with him. "God has proclaimed the just reward, 'Life for all, alleluia.'" God's reward seems to me to be totally unjust. A just response to humanity would definatley not be salvation. Yet God sent his son to us, in spite of ourselves. Emilie, annoyed
-------------------- Lord, I have sinned, and mine iniquity. Deserves this hell; yet Lord deliver me.
Posts: 2367 | From: A self-inflicted exile | Registered: Jun 2001
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da_musicman
Shipmate
# 1018
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Posted
Although never sung it stumbled upon this song this morning in our church song books. It goes something like this.Ah Lord You made the heavens and the Earth. Now this just seemed to be a bit of an acussatory attitude. Kind of like Ah Lord You made the heavens and the earth but can You do this?(Starts patting head and rubbing stomach at same time.) Maybe not an awful song but amused me with its way of putting it.
Posts: 3202 | From: The Dreaming | Registered: Jul 2001
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ptarmigan
Shipmate
# 138
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by da_musicman: It goes something like this.Ah Lord You made the heavens and the Earth.
Oh yes, from the recesses of my memory ... would the song be something more like: Ah Lord God, Thou hast made the heavens, And the earth with Thine outstretched arm. <two more lines I can't remember; perhaps repeats> Nothing is too difficult for Thee. Nothing is too difficult for Thee. Nothing is too difficult; Nothing is too difficult; Nothing is too difficlut for Thee.
-------------------- All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)
Posts: 1080 | From: UK - Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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Oriel
Shipmate
# 748
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Posted
Ah Lord God, Thou hast made the heavens and the earth by Thy great power Ah Lord God, Thou hast made the heavens and the earth by thine outstretched arm.Nothing is too difficult for Thee Nothing is too difficult for Thee Oh great and mighty God Great in power and mighty in deed Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing Nothing is too difficult for Thee. Not as bad as some, though it does kind of go off the rails a bit.
To address some other points,
"We have been crucified with Christ" comes from Gal 2:20, and is biblical; it`s another example of the dying to self thing that Paul was (rightly) so keen on. I agree about the "just reward" being anything but though! I knew a couple more verses to the 40,000 feet song, to be inserted between jumping and landing: The girl who packed the parachutes forgot to pack the strings.. and she ain`t gonna jump no more! The captain was the last to jump, the first to hit the ground.. and he ain`t gonna jump no more! (And the chorus I knew had the second line "Suspended by your braces when you don`t know how to fly") Does anyone else have an aversion to songs which address God as "Yahweh"? I always feel a little odd, using the Most Holy Name which was never to be spoken aloud, so casually..
-------------------- Unlike the link previously in my sig, I actually update my Livejournal from time to time.
Posts: 796 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jul 2001
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Amos
 Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Yes, I have an absolute aversion to the vocalization of the tetragrammaton (i.e. saying "Yahweh"), but curiously don't mind "Jehovah" which is a much earlier attempt at the same thing. I think it's probably the pseudo-scientific "And this is how the ancient Hebrews did it" quality of "Yahweh" that is most offensive.
-------------------- At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Spike
 Mostly Harmless
# 36
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Posted
Fair point Alex, but where is there anything to suggest that in His childhood he was "Mild and obedient"? All we know about His childhood is when He was found in the temple having disobeyed His parents.
-------------------- "May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
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Holman Hunt
Apprentice
# 1221
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Posted
Can I offer "I'm not a grasshopper, I'm a giant in the Lord"? Time has healed to the extent that I can't remember any more of the words, but the shame and injustice of being made - yes, MADE - to jump up and down to this will live with me for a few more years yet. I was 47 at the time.
-------------------- "What were once advanced as truths are now defended as rules."
Posts: 4 | From: Co Durham | Registered: Aug 2001
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Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
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Posted
Late to this thread and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it is coming flooding back Read your bible, pray every day Pray every day, pray every day Read your bible, pray every Then you'll grow, grow, grow. Then you'll grow, grow, grow Then you'll grow, grow, grow (said Jesus) Read your bible, pray every day THen you'll grow, grow, grow Can't remember other verses but the lyrics are something else. Wonder if that incredible piece of theology has anything to do with the fact that I am not 5'10"? mmmmmmmmmmm more later.
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
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caty
Shipmate
# 85
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Posted
Ah, read your bible, complete with actions...  2nd verse went, as I remember: Don't read your bible, forget to pray forget to pray, forget to pray (x2) and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink. and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink. and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink. Don't read your bible, forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink.
Posts: 115 | From: yorkshire | Registered: May 2001
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Liberty
 ship's football fanatic
# 713
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Posted
The grasshopper song was a particular favourite in my school (secondary) CU. And they wondered why no one came! (thankfully I too have been healed and the Lord has removed the words from my memory, but yes, the memory of jumping unfortunately still remains)The full words to "I am a sheep" are: I am a sheep baa baa and I like to stay well fed, I am a sheep baa baa, a little stupid in the head, I go astray most every day, what a trouble I must be, I'm glad I've got the good shepherd looking after me! Ah-ha, ah-ha, baa, baa Well, if its too much trouble for God.... Oh, and while I'm a ranting, I've just got back from 2K1 in Salford (this years answer to Message 2000) and Matt Redman was leading the worship. Has anyone heard "I'm making melodies in my heart to you". Coz its a good thing he was, coz that song certanly wasn't making melodies to God out loud. It was dirge! Anyway, I'm sure I'll be back, Jen
-------------------- "I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtedly"
Posts: 1879 | From: SW2 to 20009 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
have just remembered one from my childhood, learnt at spring harvest (the ultimate place of wonder, upliftment and christian learning...)  afaik it goes: i'm a jumper for my lord and a sweater for my god cos i jump and sweat and dance and shout and yell (yee har!) i'm a jumper for my lord and a sweater for my god cos i'm clothed in robes of righteousness as well. i'm enthusiastic for my god and that's the way to be. god has filled my life with joy, i'll praise him and be free. jesus is my special friend, he means so much to me, i know that i will never be a christian misery. i'm a jumper for my lord and a sweater for my god.... *shudder* two more verses i have blocked from my memory i do remember having to jump up and down..... *sits in corner rocking quietly* viki
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Sarkycow - you are remarkably sane for someone who has had such a traumatic experience.
-------------------- Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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the famous rachel
Shipmate
# 1258
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Posted
Hi Everyone!This thread has really cheered me up. However, you've missed out my personal pet hate. We sang a song at primary school which went somethnig like this: "The ink is black The page is white Together we learn To read and write To read and write" ... various otherthings were then black and white until we got to "A child is black A child is white ...." This was meant to make us look on eachother as equals no matter what colour we were. However, at age 6, I had yet to realise that the black kids in my school could possibly be thought of as different because they were black. I wouldn't have described them in those terms, since that wasn't important whereas e.g. whether they were good at football or willing to lend me their crayons was. The song was the first thing to give me any inkling of the horrors of racism, despite being intended to do just the opposite! Also it had a dreadful tune. Does anyone else remember this one? What did you think?
-------------------- A shrivelled appendix to the body of Christ.
Posts: 912 | From: In the lab. | Registered: Aug 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
Oh, Tristan, don't go there.I suspect there are many on the Ship who would come to the defense of Christina Rosetti. I being one of them. Ignoring the first verse, for example, you soon come to: "Our God, heav'n cannot hold him/nor earth sustain..." Or the third verse: "What can I give him/poor as I am?..." and the poet concludes, "Yet what I can I give him: give my heart." Granted, the hymn is northern hemispher-centric, but it's no more narratively confused then, for example, the First Noel. Now I'm going to find myself humming both tunes all day, Tristan. It's your fault, and I don't forget this sort of thing.... tomb
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Puffin
Apprentice
# 1295
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Posted
How about this from the good old days of children's missionsHow did Moses cross the Red Sea (x3) How did he get across? Did he swim? No,no. Did he fly? No, no? (third line esccapes me) How did he get across? God blew with his wind, puff, puff, puff, puff And he blew just enough, nuff, nuff, nuff, nuff And through the sea he made a path That's how they got across. Imagine the actions and a first verse to a John Brown's body tune... Worst is, I think it is in Kids Praise - and I can almost still sing the whole thing!
Posts: 40 | From: Glasgow | Registered: Sep 2001
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frin
 Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Newman's Own: I cannot recall all of the words, but it was a really inane tune with lyrics to the effect:He came down that we may have love (peace, joy), repeated three or four times. It had to be the worst music I've ever heard, anywhere! Anyone else know this one?
It's from the Cameroons, and you have actually remembered all the lyrics except the cantor line (why did he come) and the last line (Alleluia, forevermore). I'm guessing this one comes from the no paper/ low literacy tradition of repeat line one. As for the thread shrinking: all the posts are still here, so it isn't the length of threads that we are altering. All the boards are on 50 posts per page, just because we wanted to try that out [not because you were having problems, viki]. This thread will not run to 18 pages again. If it keeps growing, it will be closed and restarted on a new thread. 'frin
-------------------- "Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.
Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001
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Liberty
 ship's football fanatic
# 713
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Posted
Does anyone know "It's a Happy Day"?It's a happy day, and I thank God for the weather. It's a happy day, living it for my Lord. It's a happy day, things are gonna get better, living each day by the promises in God's word. It's a grumpy day, and I can't stand the weather. It's a grumpy day, living it for myself. It's a grumpy day, and things aren't gonna get better, living each day with my Bible up on my shelf. I figure from that that God doesn't love those of us stuck in rainy Lancaster much!
-------------------- "I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtedly"
Posts: 1879 | From: SW2 to 20009 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Ian Climacus
 Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
After spending time in San Francisco with a friend from Sydney a whole load of memories came flooding back: quote: We are one in the Spirit, We are one in the Lord (Repeat thrice) And we pray that all unity Will one day be restored Chorus: And they'll know we are Christians By our love, by our love Yes, they'll know we are Christians By our love. We will walk with each other We will walk hand in hand (Repeat thrice) And together we'll share the news That God is in our land CHORUS
I think there were a few more verses too... Also... quote: Brother let me be your servant Let me be as Christ to you. Pray that I might have the grace To let you be my servant too. [Sung as ser-er-er-vant too] We are pilgrims on a journey We are [thankfully blocked out] [Thankfully blocked out] Walk the mile and share-are-are the load. I will weep when you are weeping When you laugh I'll laugh with you. [Thankfully blocked out]
Sorry I cannot remember it all; though it may be a good thing. I remember "holding the Christ light" being a line somewhere there too. Purge!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Admiral H.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Lyra
Shipmate
# 267
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Posted
From above:Brother let me be your servant Let me be as Christ to you. Pray that I might have the grace To let you be my servant too. [Sung as ser-er-er-vant too] We are pilgrims on a journey We are [thankfully blocked out] [Thankfully blocked out] Walk the mile and share-are-are the load. The full verse is: We are pilgrims on a journey And companions on the road We are here to help each other Walk the mile and bear the load. I will weep when you are weeping When you laugh I'll laugh with you. [Thankfully blocked out] The rest is: We will share such joy and sorrow 'til we've seen this journey through. Actually, I LIKE this rather a lot. It is more commonly sung now as Brother Sister Let me Serve You.
The verse about the Christ light is I will hold the Christ light for you in the night time of your fear; I will hold my hand out to you, speak the peace you long to hear. Personally, there was a time when someone did that for me on a scale I can never repay. I honestly believe that I only kept going because I knew that on some level I was held, and safe. One day I hope to do the same for someone else. It's the hymn I have always chosen for a welcome service when I start work in a new church, because it says so clearly what ministry is about (all ministry - not particularly ordained). The first line stresses the servant thing, but the last line of the first verse - pray that I may have the grace to let you be my servant too - shows that serving is not enough, we must be willing to allow ourselves to be served as well. Much harder I find. Those last two lines echo in my head every time I find myself starting to believe I can manage on my own. It is all right to be vulnerable, and all right to need help. But all this is just my feeling. If you hate it, okay. But you're missing a great sing! I don't think that was hellish enough was it. Sorry. 
-------------------- Around and about
Posts: 546 | Registered: May 2001
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homerj
Shipmate
# 324
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Posted
we used to sing the song "sing hosanna" at junior school, i mainly remember 'cos we changed the words, so you had - for example - "poo flew through the air..." he he, what fun. 
-------------------- The grass is only greener on the other side of the fence because it is pissing it down with rain over there
Posts: 304 | From: slipping into Essex | Registered: May 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
Colours of day, dawn into the mind The day has begun, the night is behind, Go down to the city, on into the street, And let's give the message to the people we meet.So light up the fire and let the flame burn, Open the door let Jesus return, Take the seeds of his Spirit, let the fruit grow, Tell the people of Jesus, let his love show Go through the park, on into the town, The sun still shines on, it never goes down, The light of the world is risen again, The people of darkness are needing a friend. Open your eyes, look into the sky, The darkness has come, the sun came to die, The evening draws on, the sun disappears, But Jesus is living, his Spirit is near. bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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