Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Aging Parents
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Yes indeed Karl
The Dowager was better again yesterday, despite the extraction of her front tooth, and (to my surprise and pleasure) full of 'I don't know what I'd do without you, thank you for all you do for me' so I forgave her a few more 'wasn't it nice to see the boys?' comments.
(She's always been a terrible flirt )
Mrs. S, always glad to be appreciated
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
We die as we have lived! I hope her recovery is now uneventful and swift.
-------------------- Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Well, she's due to be released into the wild on Monday (with two care visits a day). I just hope they keep up the happy pills, because without them she is dreadfully negative about everything - whereas with them, she becomes much easier to deal with
I get bored not only with her grumbling, but also with my own voice being falsely cheerful
Anyway, final hospital visit on Saturday. Return to take her home on Monday. Back again the next Saturday for Great-Aunt M's 95th birthday party and then on the 25th to take her to Orthopaedics to have the cast removed
Let's hope she likes the care workers!
Mrs. S, praying
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Hope everything goes well tomorrow Mrs S for The Dowager. Good to have a plan in place. My mum seems on the up at present, finally having got rid of the effects of the nasty virus she had at Easter. Getting cross at daft politicians has helped no end! I do wish she'd consider more help, but I guess it's a waiting game till she decides that's what she wants or circumstances force it on her.
-------------------- 'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Today's the day, Mrs. S. I hope all goes as planned. You will certainly have earned several glasses of something comforting.
-------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
You were right about that, jacobsen!
The Dowager was moved home without problems, all the nurses and cleaners saying how sorry they were to lose her
However, once home, an innate negativity seems to have returned - she won't wait for the carers to do anything (determined to be independent) but does it herself, inadequately. Mr S and I were trying to persuade her to have a new dishwasher, or at least to use the 40-year-old one she has, because she doesn't do it properly herself even with two hands - but she just turned mulish, as if it might be her last £250 in the world! This in spite of the fact that she's had 5 weeks board and lodging for nothing, and now has two weeks' worth of carers also for nothing
And food - nothing is any good, she can't taste it so it has to look colourful, but as I said to her all the colourful stuff has garlic in it (which repeats on her) - my favourite was the fish pie which she said was 'loathsome' Oh, and her new dental plate came out while she was eating a sausage
I wouldn't care if I hadn't spent my Saturday morning in Waitrose, carefully perusing labels
And she was wittering about getting her ironing done - do you know what she wants to get ironed? Her teatowels!
What worries me is that she will get rid of the carers at the end of the two weeks, and then expect me to pick up the slack from 2 hours away - independence is a fine aspiration but at 92 with her current state of fragility, it just ain't gonna happen!
Sorry all for the rant - as Mr.s said to me the other day, 'just promise me you won't die before your mother!'
Mrs. S, fed up with being the reliable one
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
I sometimes think things would be easier if we all swapped aging Ps for a while. I was at my mother in law's the other week for a family get together and I could see her daughter was finding some of things she was doing and saying trying, while I was much more tolerant. I'm sure others would cope with my mother much better than I do. My M-i-L only manages to live at home as one of her sons lives and works in the village and calls in twice a day, does the gardening, food shopping etc. She had a nasty fall a couple of days ago, and though she is back home, I really think it is getting to the stage where she needs to think about something more suitable than a large cottage, in large grounds down an unmade up road. However as my husband said, what she needs a care home for reclusive academics, and I'm not sure there are many of those about. Hope you manage to get you mum to continue to accept the help from the carers Mrs S.
-------------------- 'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Yes, but (sorry - it must be catching!) almost her last words on leaving the hospital were that she didn't care for institutional living!
Sarasa, that's a really good idea to swap Aging P's around - at least they'd have the virtue of novelty I think the Dowager feels gratitude and resentment in equal amounts - gratitude that I am doing all this sh*t and resentment that she has to get me to do it!
Ah well *counts blessings!*
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
Just keep some perspective - some of us are reading these posts with great longing. I'd iron a hundred tea towels very happily for the chance of a chat with my mom.
I also think an aging parent exchange would be great. Think of the stories that would instantly become fresh and entertaining!
-------------------- Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Other people's parents are so much easier.
-------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
lily pad, I know what you mean, but some days I would iron every tea towel in the country NOT to have the same conversation that we seem to have been having every day for years!
As Sarasa says, other people's are so much easier to deal with...
Mrs. S, busy setting up the Aging Parent Exchange
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Just a swift update to say she had her cast taken off yesterday. The physio was staggered to discover that she had exactly as much movement in each wrist and told her just to go home and use it 'functionally' - i.e. to to do stuff as usual
However as time goes on it becomes more and more apparent that the bump on the head has permanently impaired her short term memory, and also her capacity for making decisions. I was trying to get her to choose some ready-meals to be delivered, without notable success, and she said 'so someone has to ring up every week and CHOOSE these?' to which I replied 'No, Mum, not somebody - YOU!'
I think we have now reached the stage when she doesn't want to stay in her home, but equally doesn't think she's ready for a care home: I have my doubts and in any case wonder how she will ever move if she practically had to be forced at knifepoint to let me take away and dispose of some bedding that I had at university, 43 years ago
However, the good news is that she hasn't actually reneged on her promise to stop driving; I had all my arguments marshalled, but my heartfelt prayers must have had some effect (just as well as the poor car now has neither tax, insurance or MOT ) I didn't actually watch Hundred-Year Old Drivers as my nerves wouldn't have taken it, but I understand one old chap's car had only one dent-free panel, and that was the roof. They could have been describing the Dowager's
Mrs. S, off to choose a care home for herself
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by The Intrepid Mrs S: Just a swift update to say she had her cast taken off yesterday. The physio was staggered to discover that she had exactly as much movement in each wrist and told her just to go home and use it 'functionally' - i.e. to to do stuff as usual
However as time goes on it becomes more and more apparent that the bump on the head has permanently impaired her short term memory, and also her capacity for making decisions. I was trying to get her to choose some ready-meals to be delivered, without notable success, and she said 'so someone has to ring up every week and CHOOSE these?' to which I replied 'No, Mum, not somebody - YOU!'
I think we have now reached the stage when she doesn't want to stay in her home, but equally doesn't think she's ready for a care home: I have my doubts and in any case wonder how she will ever move if she practically had to be forced at knifepoint to let me take away and dispose of some bedding that I had at university, 43 years ago
However, the good news is that she hasn't actually reneged on her promise to stop driving; I had all my arguments marshalled, but my heartfelt prayers must have had some effect (just as well as the poor car now has neither tax, insurance or MOT ) I didn't actually watch Hundred-Year Old Drivers as my nerves wouldn't have taken it, but I understand one old chap's car had only one dent-free panel, and that was the roof. They could have been describing the Dowager's
Mrs. S, off to choose a care home for herself
I can beat that. My beloved (honestly) mother in law added a dented roof as well as every other panel when she dropped the garage door on it.
-------------------- Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
Not a parent but a beloved friend of many years standing, now diagnosed with dementia and the onset of Alzheimers too.
A grouup of six of us, all longtime friends, are trying to manage care for him to help him stay in his home. This is relly just a temorary measure. Adopted as a toddler and never married he has no family we can trace. If basically untraceable, who would now be interested in care for him? Not even his dad's brother can be found.
Doctor cancelled his licence a few weeks ago and we took his car from him. We are traitors in his eyes to our friendship. Actually, his actual driving is fine if he were on an open road with no traffic.
Directions rattle him, he can no longer follow GPS directions. Getting in the right lane to exit or similar thoroughly rattles him. Unexpected movements of traffic also cause him to become unsettled.
Passenger's mirror was pushed well in so all he could see was himself. DIL fixed it for him. I asked what had happened and was told, "a tree fell on the car." when I questioned this, the story changed immediately to, "perhaps I ran into a tree." This seems more likely.
Keys were constantly lost etc. A flat tire was changed by motorists association driver who did not notice it too had a slow leak. He ruined wheel by driving on it for a week or so.
I guess we have to live with being called traitors.
-------------------- Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Mrs. S. - would some sort of sheltered housing be any good for the Dowager? You know the sort of thing - where you have a flat or bed-sit, but food is available, and there are carers who know if you haven't got up of a morning?
Just a thought - it might be a good half-way-house between being in her own house and being in full-on care.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Piglet: Mrs. S. - would some sort of sheltered housing be any good for the Dowager? You know the sort of thing - where you have a flat or bed-sit, but food is available, and there are carers who know if you haven't got up of a morning?
Just a thought - it might be a good half-way-house between being in her own house and being in full-on care.
My best friend's mom moved into a very well run facility (her decision) and enjoys it. Her little studio apartment has a kitchenette, but she mostly eats in the dining room. She has made friends, takes part in activities, and watches her own TV. The home has a van that people can schedule to take them shopping or church. There is also a wing with more detailed care if and when she might need it. If you could find a place like that in your area I think she might be happy.
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Mrs S
Does the Dowager live somewhere useful for a member of the wider family to be based? Perhaps near a university or work?
We had this with an elderly aunt (no problems with dementia, memory or physical frailty, just a wart of an only child) and it has been sorted by moving in a great niece: the aunt gets the companionship but feels she is being useful, the g-niece gets fantastic accommodation at minimal cost.
-------------------- Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Mrs S
Will she accept help at home? My sister and I set up for a carer to come twice a day, meals delivered, other shopping delivered and frozen and a phone tab for emergencies when my father was recovering from his heart operation. The only thing that stuck was the carer who now come in once a week to bath Mum. It took a fall in the bath and Dad struggling to get Mum out for him to recognise that was necessary. There are agencies that will do social care as well as physical care and might even agree to come and help the dowager order meals on a weekly basis (and check she is getting one, once a day).
Jengie
-------------------- "To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Thank you all for your concern, and suggestions. None of the family would willingly live with her, I'm afraid, lovely though the thought might be.
The half-way house thing might suit best if we can find one, as this week it's the garden that's the problem (there's always one, if you know what I mean). The issue I foresee (and I hate to be so negative, but I know you'll understand) is that for 50 years she's lived in a large house in a quiet residential street, surrounded by a lovely big garden. If she moves into a small flat, by definition everything will change, and it will all be My Fault.
On the other hand she will at least be able to find company (although she's quite negative about that, too - she's very dismissive of all the old biddies who live in homes ) I just wonder what trying to move anywhere will do to her, but I suppose people do it all the time, just not at 92.
In the matter of damage to cars, she did once drive into the garage with the rear door to her hatchback UP - that made a nice mess We have long joked (rather tastelessly I know) that if her car were a child it would be on the At Risk register
Ah well, a 'nice young man' delivered the food, so that's a plus point for them
Mrs. S, for once without a snappy by-line
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Mrs S
When my Dad went into care I spoke to the nurse in charge of the unit, admitting that I couldn't give him the kind of care they did. She said, bluntly, "I can do this for our Residents, but there is no way I could have done it for my own Mother."
I think that the difficulty is that with our own parents there is so much history. With my Dad I was always his little girl, which was why my sister-in-law could manage some things with him far better that I could. It took me a while to stop resenting and feeling guilty about this.
Huia
-------------------- Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
Well I spoke too soon and tempted fate. The latest crisis turned out to be a bit more serious. After 10 days in hospital she's been fast tracked into a care home. Fast track is for people with a prognosis of less than 3 months in this world.
-------------------- Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Oh Karl, I'm so sorry to hear that.
for your mum, your dad and you.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Karl and your parents.
-------------------- "...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe." ~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
May I briefly rant. My younger brother, in his 50s, hasn't visited for 2 years. Flies in from Hong Kong and we think respite time. Here for 2 weeks. There's a bank holiday on Monday and we have taken the Friday to go away.
I receive a call last evening from 88 year old father. He lives in a seniors semi-assisted living building. They get supper and there are some social activities. He's actually in pretty good condition, with some memory and balance issues but not at all bad or worrying. Back to the call from him: brother is leaving in the mid-morning. He's taken out a temporary 2 week gym membership and is absent from about 9 a.m. until after my father's bedtime (varies from 8:30 to 9:30 pm).
So here I sit at work, with the plan to go, and digesting the phone call. Father not pleading in so many words, but pleading in between the lines. I spoke to my brother on the phone later, and he reassures that he will be attentive, but I know it is hopeful nonsense on my part to believe a word of it.
I guess we will go, with diminished enjoyment, and I will need to call and talk to father, but obviously cannot visit as we usually do every second day, sometimes daily. I don't really want to talk to my brother again. [ 28. July 2016, 22:10: Message edited by: no prophet's flag is set so... ]
-------------------- Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety. \_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Prayers for all in these difficult situations
We cancelled a week's holiday because we felt it would just be too far away if the Dowager had another funny turn. I'm not sure she's even registered what we did, what it cost us, or what we missed out on. When she says 'I don't know what I'd do without you' I have reached the stage of thinking 'it's all about you, isn't it?' Not 'You've been so kind and thoughtful' but 'what would I do?'
Sorry - this is the only place I can say these things. Does every old person's world close down around them so all they think of is themselves?
Mrs. S, mourning
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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M.
Ship's Spare Part
# 3291
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Posted
Yes, I think so, Mrs S, in my experience (which only relates to a small sample, of course).
I imagine it has to do with a feeling of increased vulnerability because of failing powers.
M.
Posts: 2303 | From: Lurking in Surrey | Registered: Sep 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I think that their mental map shrinks - just as people in residential homes often lose interest in the outside world. Not always, of course.
I remember visiting an elderly widowed teacher, a wonderful woman, and hearing her reckon up how many hours I had spent with her. ("Well, I've had three hours...") And complaining that a certain friend spent "only" two hours with her every Monday morning! No apparent awareness of what that meant in terms of consistent commitment.
This was someone who had been astonishingly outgoing and active all her life, until truly gruesome arthritis took over in her seventies. She had no children, but was surrounded by friends and ex-students who helped her enormously. However, nothing filled the hole left by the loss of health, mobility and her life partner. We all need to pray for grace when it happens to us!
-------------------- But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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M.
Ship's Spare Part
# 3291
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Posted
I remember phone calls with my mother, where she would chat for ages about how so-and-so had been to see her, and such-and such a person had rung, and then in the next breath complain me that mine was the first voice she'd heard that day.
And if I called her on it, she would just vaguely murmur, 'I suppose so' and carry on.
M.
Posts: 2303 | From: Lurking in Surrey | Registered: Sep 2002
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
The Grandmother of the ex Mr L broke her knee in her 80s, think. She was in hospital for a long time. She had a small notebook full of notes like."nurse brought hot water to wash at 5:00am. Returned at 6:30 and water was cold." No thought of doing it herself.
No matter how many visitors she had in a day, she would make a note in block capitals underlined , if no one from the immediate family visited her at every visiting time. . It would then be shown, with loud lamentation, to the next visitor.
-------------------- Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
The Grandmother of the ex Mr L broke her knee in her 80s, think. She was in hospital for a long time. She had a small notebook full of notes like."nurse brought hot water to wash at 5:00am. Returned at 6:30 and water was cold." No thought of doing it herself.
No matter how many visitors she had in a day, she would make a note in block capitals underlined , if no one from the immediate family visited her at every visiting time. . It would then be shown, with loud lamentation, to the next visitor.
-------------------- Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
for Karl and his parents. Mrs S, I'm not sure if all old people become more self-centred the more they age, my mother-in-law still seems interested in various family goings on for instance, even if she doesn't get all the details right. My mum however is definitely in the 'it's all about me camp', so I sympathise. I hope you can get a workable solution that keeps her happy and safe and allows you to do the things you want, starting with a holiday soon.
-------------------- 'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sarasa: I'm not sure if all old people become more self-centred the more they age.
I think it's because they know they are powerless to take care of their own needs -- they even have to rely on someone else even to wipe their bums after they toilet -- and so there just isn't any room in their conscience for other people's needs.
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I suspect that a lot of what we take for kindness, fair-mindedness, tolerance, etc. in younger people is really "Eh, I feel good and I can't be bothered, never mind"--more of a bodily shock absorber than a spiritual or emotional maturity. Then, when that falls away due to pain, illness or age, suddenly every minor bump in the road feels magnified. It was always there, but the temporary state of good health and wellbeing meant we used to sail over it, and now we have the choice of learning real maturity or else defaulting to letting every bump become a big.freakin.DEAL because it feels like that now.
Yes, I'm starting to feel my age. Why do you ask?
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Diomedes
Shipmate
# 13482
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Posted
Lamb Chopped
-------------------- Distrust simple answers to complicated questions
Posts: 129 | From: Essex England | Registered: Mar 2008
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Maybe when we get older then we get very literal? And maybe if we have stroke type illnesses we get Very literal?
At one point in my life i would also have written in my notebook that the water was cold. Because it had only been brought to me. I hadn't been told to wash with it.
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider: Well I spoke too soon and tempted fate. The latest crisis turned out to be a bit more serious. After 10 days in hospital she's been fast tracked into a care home. Fast track is for people with a prognosis of less than 3 months in this world.
Mum's no longer eating or drinking. She can't really speak and is mostly asleep. Dad's taking it very badly.
We're the only family within a hundred miles. And our annual holiday is booked to start on Saturday. It's only a camping holiday on the Yorkshire coast, so no, it's not insured as when we booked it we couldn't foresee any circumstances in which we'd have to cancel it.
Don't even know what to do, let alone how to do it.
-------------------- Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Karl -- and Karl's Mum and Dad
-------------------- "...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe." ~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
from here, too.
-------------------- I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. Fancy a break in South India? Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
And from over here.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Sarasa
Shipmate
# 12271
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Posted
Fr Karl and his mum and dad. I hope a way opens and becomes clear as to what to do about the holiday. As my mother in law always says look after you as well as your family.
-------------------- 'I guess things didn't go so well tonight, but I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying.' Charlie (Harvey Keitel) in Mean Streets.
Posts: 2035 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2007
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Diomedes
Shipmate
# 13482
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Posted
Karl
-------------------- Distrust simple answers to complicated questions
Posts: 129 | From: Essex England | Registered: Mar 2008
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Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
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Posted
Karl and all your family
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
Karl and family
Mrs. S, empathetic
-------------------- Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny. Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort 'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sarasa: Fr Karl and his mum and dad. I hope a way opens and becomes clear as to what to do about the holiday. As my mother in law always says look after you as well as your family.
Fortunately we can visit on Sunday; have a wedding on the Saturday in Leeds so can dogleg to North Yorks via Doncaster (where they live) and can come back that way the following Sunday. It's not so far (100 miles) that I can't nip back mid holiday, and Mother in Law has offered to pop in during the week. Everything happens at once doesn't it? It's our 20th Wedding Anniversary on the 17th...
-------------------- Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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