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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Whom shall we send? The Vocations Thread
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3rdFooter
Shipmate
# 9751
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Posted
LS, look for some easy opening discussion questions that everyone would have an opinion on. Once people start talking, the rest will flow.
Keep in mind that the panel are looking for people who participate and contribute to other peoples presentations. Ministry is often about other people and what they think is important.
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3F - Shunter in the sidings of God's Kingdom
Posts: 602 | From: outskirts of Babylon | Registered: Jul 2005
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*Leon*
Shipmate
# 3377
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Posted
LS: I get the impression that the purpose of the discussion is to demonstrate your skills at speaking and leading discussions, not to demonstrate that you can come up with profound arguments. Remember also that the 'audience' are being marked on making helpful and interesting contributions, so they're actually the easiest audience in the world. As a result, if choosing between 2 subjects, pick the simpler one; that way you can concentrate more on presentation style and less on explaining your argument.
Posts: 831 | From: london | Registered: Oct 2002
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Bagpuss
Magical saggy cloth cat
# 2925
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Posted
What I also did was make a rough plan of the circle beforehand and then filled in everyone's names where they were sitting.
This helped me to intervene and say things like just a sec Bob I think Betty wanted to say something when I had an over keen person who liked the sound of their own voice a lot and one person who was very timid and liked to think things through. Using names was much easier to direct the discussion.
I also scribbled a few points next to each name so when I was summarising I could say the question we were looking at was x (ready prepared) Bib and Phil were of the same mind that x, y, and Suzie thought z so in conclusion boah boah boah
Hope that makes some sense! It just made me feel more in control and prepared.
As someone said - everyone will be playing nicely as they are on show! Just remember to listen well and to contribute but not dominate in all of the presentations, have an opinion and don't be afraid to challenge something you disagree with.
I scribbled little comments down during the discussion
Posts: 473 | Registered: Jun 2002
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Nikon User
Glittering Images
# 5940
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Posted
Just as a matter of interest, does DDO stand for Decidedly Dreadfully Obstructive?
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"There is plenty of work for love to do"
Posts: 246 | From: Cumbria, UK | Registered: May 2004
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orinocco
Shipmate
# 5083
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Posted
Hi all,
After having been turned down by the DDO about five years ago, I am now rentering the vocation path. Spoke to my parish priest on Monday and she is supportive and we are going to meet after Easter and work out ways I can gain more experience etc. before going to the vocations team.
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overground, underground, wombling free
My Live Journal
Posts: 364 | From: The birthplace of St. George (allegedly) | Registered: Oct 2003
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Barefoot Friar
Ship's Shoeless Brother
# 13100
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Posted
I am to be appointed as pastor to a small United Methodist congregation in June. It will be my first appointment since June 2009, although I've been serving as a missionary in northeast Alabama since the fall of that year.
I am elated, because I'm finally getting to answer God's calling on my life. I'm a bit nervous, because I don't want it to end badly like it did last time.
The process will hopefully lead through my undergraduate, to M.Div., and thence to ordination.
May Christ be ever with me.
[ 28. March 2012, 00:21: Message edited by: Padre Joshua ]
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Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -- Desmond Tutu
Posts: 1621 | From: Warrior Mountains | Registered: Oct 2007
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Richard M
Apprentice
# 16447
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Posted
Hello all,
Just thought I'd jump in here and let people know that, after ignoring that nagging feeling that there's something better I should be doing with my life for far too many years, I finally got the courage up to speak to the vicar last year.
I have spent the last 12 months trying to hold down a new job (I left IT and took up teaching) whilst navigating through the discernment process. It has been an interesting time - plenty of action followed by long periods of hearing nothing at all for months on end. My DDO has been great though and has tried to keep me informed whilst juggling all the different jobs she has on the go.
So where am I? I've now filled in every form that you possibly think of and I'm "looking forward" to my BAP in June. <gulp>
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Laxton's Superba
Shipmate
# 228
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Posted
Hello Richard
I am BAP-ing in June, too.
Will pray for you. ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
Posts: 187 | From: I wish I knew | Registered: May 2001
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Bagpuss
Magical saggy cloth cat
# 2925
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Posted
Prayers for you both as you prepare for your BAPS
Posts: 473 | Registered: Jun 2002
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Niminypiminy
Shipmate
# 15489
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Posted
Prayers for both of you.
Meanwhile I have my first appointment with the DDO on Tuesday. Feels like a big deal, and I'm very nervous about it. It's been a long journey to get this far!
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Lives of the Saints: songs by The Unequal Struggle
http://www.theunequalstruggle.com/
Posts: 776 | From: Edge of the Fens | Registered: Feb 2010
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Arethosemyfeet
Shipmate
# 17047
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Posted
I've just made first contact with my diocese to begin to discuss what I think I'm being called to do. Emailed yesterday but no response yet.
I'm in the odd situation of being an Anglican in Scotland on an island with no institutional Episcopal Church presence, and within weeks of moving here the sense of more being expected of me than doing my job grew. I spent a couple of weeks praying so desperately I'd stopped listening, before talking to the Church of Scotland minister (I've been worshipping with the Church of Scotland, which is interesting, but very different from what I'm used to) about it. She has been very supportive, but being the liberal Anglo-Catholic that I am it's pretty clear that my call is going to involve the Episcopal tradition.
I have a strong sense that God has exciting things planned for the church (in the broad sense) here, and He's calling me to help with that. I hope the diocese agree and have ways for it to happen. It was only when I started trying to find out what to do that I realised how much the selection process depends on having the infrastructure of the Episcopal church already in place.
If anyone has any thoughts or advice I'd be eager to here them! I feel like I'm about to get my bike to the top of a very steep hill and I'm not sure how good my brakes are.
Posts: 2933 | From: Hebrides | Registered: Apr 2012
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Jante
Shipmate
# 9163
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Posted
Welocme- this is certainly the place to come for support
As you discern what God wants for you.
quote:
I've just made first contact with my diocese to begin to discuss what I think I'm being called to do. Emailed yesterday but no response yet
One thing I'd say at the start is you will need patience- in all probabilty bucket loads. Some people do go through the whole process of discernement fairly quickly- but its more usual to be at least 18 months and in some cases such as my own is was nearly 7 years from contacting the diocese to going for a selection conference ( BAP) and then on to training. One of the frustrations of the process is slow answers to emails, phone calls etc. ( I realsie as I read this that it may sound as if I'm getting at you and thats not my intention simply a warning about the process!! ![[Frown]](frown.gif) )
Your's does sound a complicated situation so even more patience may be needed.
[ 10. April 2012, 16:31: Message edited by: Jante ]
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My blog http://vicarfactorycalling.blogspot.com/
Posts: 535 | From: deepest derbyshire | Registered: Mar 2005
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nikon User:
Just as a matter of interest, does DDO stand for Decidedly Dreadfully Obstructive?
From what one hears about the dificulty of arranging a meeting with one in some dioceses, it might stand for Diary Doesn't Operate.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
Hello all,
I've given in and am off to have a talk with the Vicar.
Then off to make an appointment with the DDO if he agrees.
Good thing though - the chap who'll be my sending bishop (if all goes through) recently told me that he thought it was 'right' that I should try again (I was turned down two and a half years ago).
Wish me luck! Or something...
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Laxton's Superba
Shipmate
# 228
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Posted
Hope it goes well Masha. Those two and a half years have gone fast.
Posts: 187 | From: I wish I knew | Registered: May 2001
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
Thanks Laxton's Superba!
Haven't they just.
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
Thanks Jante!
Is it daft that I'm much more scared this time than I was last time?!
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Niminypiminy
Shipmate
# 15489
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Posted
Prayers for you, Masha. I'm not surprised you're more scared second time round. Rejection is so painful, and it's horrible to think it might happen again.
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Lives of the Saints: songs by The Unequal Struggle
http://www.theunequalstruggle.com/
Posts: 776 | From: Edge of the Fens | Registered: Feb 2010
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Bagpuss
Magical saggy cloth cat
# 2925
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Posted
I did it twice - feel free to PM me if you want to chat. It did feel totally different second time around despite knowing the routien of the BAP and my way around the retreat house!
Posts: 473 | Registered: Jun 2002
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
Ooh, thanks Bagpuss. That's helpful! I feel different about it already. I was much more 'sure' last time and much less worried about the role of a priest.
Hmmm. We'll see.
I'm speaking to a wise and lovely chap about it next week. He'll advise well having been a DDO for a decade in his previous role.
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Panda
Shipmate
# 2951
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Posted
That sounds good; it's always wise to get new perspectives on where you are.
Coming up the home strait now... two essays to finish in the next three weeks and I will be finished. Eeep.
Posts: 1637 | From: North Wales | Registered: Jun 2002
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
Well, that went better than expected.
Wise and lovely chap said that he would commend me to the DDO and support me through the process.
DDO is happy to meet with me.
Here we go again...
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Arethosemyfeet
Shipmate
# 17047
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Posted
Preliminary discussions with the contact person at the diocese went well, I'm going to go and have a chat with the Bishop when I get the opportunity, which if he's free will be the end of next month when I next visit the mainland. Failing that I'll see him when he comes to visit in the summer. Gulp!
Posts: 2933 | From: Hebrides | Registered: Apr 2012
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Welcome to the Ship, Arethosemyfeet! There's a thread to welcome new people at the top of the All Saints Board, and a Scottish thread "Irn-Bru Special" too.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Ethne Alba
Shipmate
# 5804
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Posted
Oh
Matters just got a tad more formal. Today I appear to have gone one more step along the road ......
Posts: 3126 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Niminypiminy
Shipmate
# 15489
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ethne Alba:
Oh
Matters just got a tad more formal. Today I appear to have gone one more step along the road ......
In a good way?
Sounds potentially good...
Posts: 776 | From: Edge of the Fens | Registered: Feb 2010
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Laxton's Superba
Shipmate
# 228
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Posted
Ok this BAP is lurking. What practical things do I need to think about? What do I need to take and what do I wear? Can I wear jeans or is that too sloppy? Will there be any time to go for a run?
I would welcome any advice. I am planning on driving just in case of emergency with little Laxton although it is a fair way away. I think I would find stressing over train connections more tiring than driving however.
Thanks.
Posts: 187 | From: I wish I knew | Registered: May 2001
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St Everild
Shipmate
# 3626
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Posted
I would wear something slightly more formal than jeans...unless they are very expensive and well-cut jeans, and you dress them up a bit, perhaps with a blazer and good cotton shirts, and heels.
Don't know about the running...I've never run anywhere in my life.
Of course, if you are a bloke (and you may well be, for all I know) then I can't advise.
Where are you BAP-ing?
Posts: 1782 | From: Bethnei | Registered: Dec 2002
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Jenn.
Shipmate
# 5239
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Posted
People wore jeans on my BAP. I didn't, I go into slob mode automatically if I wear jeans, so I wore something which felt a little more business-like t put me in the right frame of mind.
You will have time to go for a run if you want to, there are plenty of gaps and it's up to you how you use them. You will have an exercise to do in those gaps, but I still had enough time to go shopping and to sit in the cathedral for a while too.
Take a watch. I didn't, hence the shopping. I normally use my phone, but that wasn't possible.
Take headphones. The walls were paper thin and I would have loved to be able to relax with some music in the evening.
Don't worry if you don't sleep well. The adrenaline WILL get you through. Prepare to crash afterwards though!
If you eat when you are nervous, take snacks. There are loads of drinks available and trays of biscuits appeared at regular intervals but I ate my way through quite a bit of chocolate while writing my exercise and reading rubbishy novels which relaxed me ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Mostly though, be you. If you try to be someone else it'll show through. Your ddo has sent YOU to bap, not someone else. Try and enjoy it - you'll meet some lovely people.
Posts: 2282 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2003
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Adam.
Like as the
# 4991
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Laxton's Superba:
Ok this BAP is lurking. What practical things do I need to think about? What do I need to take and what do I wear? Can I wear jeans or is that too sloppy? Will there be any time to go for a run?
I would welcome any advice. I am planning on driving just in case of emergency with little Laxton although it is a fair way away. I think I would find stressing over train connections more tiring than driving however.
Thanks.
Our interview weekend is pretty different, but at the time I applied I was a teacher and I wore three of my nicer teaching outfits -- slacks and button-up shirts. A suit would have felt too business-like to me (no-one who interviewed me was wearing one), but jeans too informal.
I didn't bring any exercise clothes, but should have done: it would have been a good de-stressor.
My advice would be to try to enjoy it, even though you will be nervous. You're not there to sell yourself, but to participate in a discernment process. You get to talk to people about the action of God in your life, and what you feel the Spirit is calling you to. I found that very exciting!
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Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog
Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003
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Bagpuss
Magical saggy cloth cat
# 2925
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Posted
I wore my jeans as did many others and I'll be wearing them when I am ordained too! ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Obviously not for 'proper' occasions but at other times they'll be on. Also bought myself a clerical hoodie - that's going on for non uniform days at school and messy church!
Posts: 473 | Registered: Jun 2002
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Bagpuss:
Also bought myself a clerical hoodie -
Never heard of them before but just Googled. Interesting. What does yours say?
I got my first parish placement a few days ago. I'm nervous. I'll be expected to preach. Did I mention I'm nervous? ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Nunc Dimittis
Seamstress of Sound
# 848
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Posted
Nerves are part of the deal!
My first training rector is a Canon (the Rev'd Canon Dr), and is the sort of woman who is petite, svelt, and who just carries authority - what you might call a "powerful woman" (don't mess with me). I had only ever seen her around at college and was scared of her!
I spent 8 hrs every Friday with her for 18 months, and discovered her to be incredibly compassionate, comfortably ordinary, and in being vulnerable with me she played a key role in some stuff I needed to work through. Her patient teaching and mentoring paid off: if it hadn't been for her I think I would have been lost in my curacy. I would trust her with my life (one of three people in the world).
I hope you are able to get something similar out of your parish placement.
Posts: 9515 | From: Delta Quadrant | Registered: Jul 2001
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Evensong
Shipmate
# 14696
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Posted
Thanks for sharing that Nunc.
My boss told me he chose this placement for me because the priest is an excellent supervisor. ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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a theological scrapbook
Posts: 9481 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2009
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Bagpuss
Magical saggy cloth cat
# 2925
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
quote:
Originally posted by Bagpuss:
Also bought myself a clerical hoodie -
Never heard of them before but just Googled. Interesting. What does yours say?
Doesn't say anything - it's a chocolate coloured main body with a lime green insert and slip in collar. hard t describe - will take a photo when it finally arrives!
Posts: 473 | Registered: Jun 2002
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Laxton's Superba:
Ok this BAP is lurking. What practical things do I need to think about? What do I need to take and what do I wear? Can I wear jeans or is that too sloppy? Will there be any time to go for a run?
I would welcome any advice. I am planning on driving just in case of emergency with little Laxton although it is a fair way away. I think I would find stressing over train connections more tiring than driving however. Thanks.
Oh my. This takes me back. When I went to ABM (this was before BAP) an experienced friend (she'd been a selector) gave me advice about what to wear: 'Dress conservatively. Wear a skirt. No dangly earrings--too Jewish. No heels. And no lipstick. Certainly no jeans.' I showed up in a longish grey skirt and cardigan with, as directed, no earrings or lipstick. Everybody else was in jeans, and one of the selectors had silver earrings dangling to her shoulders. 'Are you Amish?' one of the other candidates whispered.
Don't wear anything you're uncomfortable in. Smart casual is good. Not too formal. Whatever you wear, at least one person will be wearing something completely different. Treat yourself to a new toothbrush, and have your hair done.
And whatever you do, when the other candidates go to the pub in the evening, go with them. This was the most useful piece of advice I ever received from my DDO.
Edited to add: You MAY be able to find time to fit in a run. Very early in the morning. You're unlikely to find time to read.
[ 14. May 2012, 05:40: Message edited by: Amos ]
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Laxton's Superba
Shipmate
# 228
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Posted
Thank you all for your advice especially sartorial! I don't really DO smart, so it will be jeans, but not tatty ones. I am confused by the importance of the pub thing though - I never go to pubs, don't drink alcohol, don't like the atmosphere. But I might manage a token lemonade one night, if it is important to show the ability to make small talk etc.
Am still thinking abou the BAP presentation. Not the easiest thing to prepare - it's not an essay, or a sermon, or an UCCA form, odd kind of thing to have to do.
Posts: 187 | From: I wish I knew | Registered: May 2001
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Poppy
Ship's dancing cat
# 2000
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Posted
Whatever you do for the presentation make sure that it is something that people can have a discussion about. It is a really good idea to have some open questions to get the discussion going or some follow up open questions if it stalls. I went very low tech with my presentation as I was convinced that the emotion chip in my computer would go into overload if I attempted to use anything more high tech than an OHP
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At the still point of the turning world - there the dance is...
Posts: 1406 | From: mostly on the edge | Registered: Dec 2001
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Jante
Shipmate
# 9163
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Posted
LS I don't do pubs either and I didn't go out to the pub with any of the others ( if they went!) Interestingly I'm now at college with 3 other who were on BAP-don't think any of those went either!
Be you thats the most inportant thing. There are plenty of other opportunities to chat and show you can relate to people.
Continuing prayers for your BAP.
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My blog http://vicarfactorycalling.blogspot.com/
Posts: 535 | From: deepest derbyshire | Registered: Mar 2005
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Masha
Shipmate
# 10098
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Posted
On my BAP NOBODY went to the pub. We did sit and have drinks from the 'bar' (cupboard) though, which was very pleasant.
I'd have loved a pub visit but I thought it would be slightly unseemly to drag the rest of the candidates out to the local.
Given that I got turned down anyway I probably should have given it a try! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
I agree with all above advice - relax. If you're you then they'll see you. That was my problem last time. I was so concerned about 'performing' that I did exactly that and the poor sods couldn't tell what was me and what wasn't.
Posts: 308 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Re. the pub thing: The point my DDO was making was that it was important for me to join in whatever my fellow candidates were doing to unwind and socialize in the evening. The other half of his sentence was, 'You will want to go up to your room with a book. However the selectors will all be at the pub too, glancing over at your group. If you're not there it will confirm them in any opinion they might have that you're aloof and overly intellectual.'
In the event, I really enjoyed the pub visit, especially talking with the candidate who'd been a hostage-negotiator with the Met. He was recommended, and went on to Oak Hill.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Jenn.
Shipmate
# 5239
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Posted
Our group didn't go to the pub, we did hav a drink in the bar downstairs though. I felt intimidated by it, but in hindsight I'm glad I did it. Everyone (inc. the selectors) was talking about Downton, which I don't watch. I said so and got a look. I followed this up with - "what did people think of x-factor". I got another look. It was quite fun (although I did come away thinking that maybe I just didnt fit in with vicar-types). It was strangely relaxing. Then I went and read a book - much more me
In other words - I wouldn't worry about how your attendance or non attendance at the pub/bar will be viewed. It's a stressful situation and you will need to wind down. If you can face the bar, you'll prbably enjoy it more than you'd expect, but if not, don't worry!
Posts: 2282 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2003
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
Done.
Thank you!
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Westcoaster
Apprentice
# 17115
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Posted
Well, I think I've done it all arse about face. I spoke to the Bishop first, and had a full afternoon interview with him, and was then referred to the DDO..positively referred, I may add. I take it that's a good sign....
Posts: 1 | From: Argyll | Registered: May 2012
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