|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: A Truth Universally Acknowledged...
|
The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
|
Posted
Mr. S and I went out for dinner on Thursday the 13th once (no chance of a babysitter on the 14th). Come Friday 14th, he was made redundant - I wasn't working and we had a six-month-old baby.
Is it any wonder we don't subscribe to this over-priced, over-rated 'celebration'?
Besides which it always seems so 'manufactured' - a bit like Hallowe'en, but pink instead of orange.
Mrs. S, still bearing grudges from >30 years ago.
--------------------
Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
|
Posted
A church nearby where I have friends was going to hold a Valentine's Dance as a church social. One of the widows protested "that leaves out those of us with no partner." The church changed it to a Valentine's Party. Nice! (Nice not to be told the too common "we're not changing it just for you!")
But yes, the problem is Valentine celebrations (what are we celebrating?) is usually about young love. I haven't felt related to it in decades, not even when I was dating someone.
Maybe what we need to do is redefine it to something else and celebrate love the earth, or love your cat, or love your neighbors, something less demographically narrow.
With 40+% of the adult populating unmarried (although some are coupled) and 27% of households one person, (USA figures), we may be ripe for some cultural change in how we celebrate dates like Valentines and New Years that were traditionally couples events.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
|
Posted
I must have been left behind somewhere in the 33 years of my married life, because AFAICR Valentine's Day was for those who were unaware that they had an admirer, and it was treated as the day on which anyone could make a discreet move, usually with a card or with flowers, to get a.n.other's attention. In short, if a Valentine came and there wasn't some element of surprise, it was a disappointment.
So, unless things move fast it wasn't for couples. What's been going on in singlesland since 1979?
--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Caissa
Shipmate
# 16710
|
Posted
Ms. C and I are trying out a new bistro on the 15th. Easier evening to get reservations than Valentines Day.
Posts: 972 | From: Saint John, N.B. | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Hazey*Jane
Ship's Biscuit Crumbs
# 8754
|
Posted
On the topic of Valentine's day I rather like this.
This will be my first Valentine's day in a couple for about a decade (well, unless something goes horribly wrong between now and next week ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) ). I plan to have the chat over the weekend to check that we're on the same page regarding its pointlessness and irrelevance...
Posts: 4266 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
So, unless things move fast it wasn't for couples. What's been going on in singlesland since 1979?
By the time I got married, not long after 1979, it had become a way for couples to demonstrate their amazingness in public. The reason it was stressfull for me is that my then girlfriend and not much later wife had a list of things I had to do - there must be this sort of card, that sort of present, this sort of meal - and tht had to be done in sight of the people she was trying to impress or keep up with. Far from secret it was more or less dictated. I could get out of sending Christmas or birthday cards - but this was comnpulsory. Any failure to deliver the appropriate wonders of the day would be remembered and revenged.
It seems to have got worse since. You can't go out enywhere in London because everywhere is packed with couples very publically and ostentationsly enjoying themselves. Doesn;t always work of course. I usually work late and the trains back home from town on that day (or the nearest Saturday) are crowded with drunken young people, more than the usual proportion of them crying their eyes out.
Just as New Year's Eve is a day when people who don't normally drink drink too much (its very much not an event for couples here) so Valentines Dayt seems to be a day for people who don;t normally dress up and go out to restaurants and give each other gifts in public to do just that. And like the once-a-year-drinkers they often do it badly.
As for secrect cards, well, maybe. Such things certainly went on on when I was at school in the 1970s. But as far as I remember I never sent one to anyone, and I'm sure no-one ever sent one to me. And I think even then there might have been something competitive about it, mainly among girls who wanted everyone to know that they got mroe cards than the others. Though the very worst thing would be to get a card that was obviously from the wrong sort of boy - that woudl be shameful. The wrong sort of boy being the uncool unsporty scruffy spotty sort that Americans later taught us to call geeks and nerds.
Or so I remember it.
--------------------
Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Cottontail
Shipmate
# 12234
|
Posted
The one time I got a secret Valentine's card, it sent me into a panic. I narrowed it down to two suspects: either a teenage boy, or an elderly man. Both as inappropriate as it was possible to imagine.
If anyone plans on sending one, for pity's sake put your name on it.
--------------------
"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."
Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
|
Posted
I had a secret card when I was at University, it was so secret that I never realised who it was from until about 2 years later when I saw the same person's handwriting on something else. I had never even suspected him!
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
|
Posted
Ah yes. Firebombing of Dresden Day. Decapitate a Priest Day. Tommy Gun Appreciation Day. Fredrick Douglas' Birthday. Death day of Captain Cook, St. Cyril, and P.G. Woedhouse. Statehood Day for Arizona and Oregon. And, most importantly, Cheap Chocolate's Eve, Mass Dumping Eve, and "Trust me, if they're at the bar, they're probably single" Night.
In other words, a great time to be a happy and joyful cynic! Go around being a wet blanket and hose blast of cold water while everyone enjoys their transitory hedonism they worked so hard for, just to please someone who probably won't be around in a month? Don't mind if I do! Grab yourself a tin of Bittersweets and join the party!
--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
|
Posted
It's a silly, silly holiday, but I found myself feeling sad about it nonetheless--walking past a few indie shops with adorable small things displayed, like letterpress cards and bud vases with just one red tulip. I realized, dammit, I wanna give someone that stuff. I want that stuff from someone. This looks like a party, and I wish I were invited.
Later, I thought about it, and I decided I'd throw my own party, so to speak. So every day from two days ago till Valentine's Day, I'm challenging myself to recognize one thing I love about someone in my life, and to let that person know exactly what it is. I'm making my own space to say loving things to people.
And so far, it's honestly more awesome than a box of bad candy.
--------------------
His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
|
Posted
Marks and Spencers are selling kitchen hand towels with hearts on as a gift "for her." I would so like to be a fly on the wall when some lucky woman finds herself unwrapping a two-pack of teatowels.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
|
Posted
Although at least the kitchen towel description includes the words "soft" and "cotton" unlike the Marks and Spencer Valentine "for her" lingerie, which appears to involve man-made fibres, uncomfortable underwiring and itchy nylon lace.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sergius-Melli
Shipmate
# 17462
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Marks and Spencers are selling kitchen hand towels with hearts on as a gift "for her." I would so like to be a fly on the wall when some lucky woman finds herself unwrapping a two-pack of teatowels.
Whilst Mr. S-M and I don't mark Valentines Day or our anniversaries either, I would love a new set of kitchen towels, so come and see the joy on my face when I unwrap my new set!
Posts: 722 | From: Sneaking across Welsh hill and dale with a thurible in hand | Registered: Dec 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Dormouse
Glis glis – Ship's rodent
# 5954
|
Posted
And what exciting gifts do M&S consider suitable "for Him", I wonder...?
--------------------
What are you doing for Lent?
40 days, 40 reflections, 40 acts of generosity. Join the #40acts challenge for #Lent and let's start a movement. www.40acts.org.uk
Posts: 3042 | From: 'twixt les Bois Noirs & Les Monts de la Madeleine | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
ElaineC
Shipmate
# 12244
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sergius-Melli:
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Marks and Spencers are selling kitchen hand towels with hearts on as a gift "for her." I would so like to be a fly on the wall when some lucky woman finds herself unwrapping a two-pack of teatowels.
Whilst Mr. S-M and I don't mark Valentines Day or our anniversaries either, I would love a new set of kitchen towels, so come and see the joy on my face when I unwrap my new set!
I'd also appreciate the tea towels over the lingerie. Even after 38 years of marriage I'm not sure Mr. C would get the size right!
--------------------
Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. John Erskine
Posts: 464 | From: Orpington, Kent, UK | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
|
Posted
Markies are selling a retro service bell. Judging by the picture on the packaging, this is the ideal gift for the man who likes to spend Valentine's Day sitting up alone in bed in his PJs playing with his ding-a-ling.
There's also a "For Him" Valentine gift of an ice-scraper, presumably handy for the man who gave his sweetheart a pair of kitchen towels, and who finds the atmosphere has unaccountably iced over.
I'm soooo glad we've never marked Valentine's Day in any shape or form (unless you count buying up half-price chocolates the next day).
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scots lass
Shipmate
# 2699
|
Posted
A couple of years ago I'd bought theatre tickets for a free evening in February, and only later realised it was Valentine's Day. So I intended to go to the theatre with my then-boyfriend and it was going to be lovely. Except that we broke up instead (literally, outside the theatre) and I cried most of the way home, then all over my long-suffering flatmate for a lot of the evening, whilst drinking her wine. Ever since I've tended to skip the crying and just go for drinking wine. I also never did see that play.
Suffice to say, I wasn't a fan before that incident and I'm even less of one now!
Posts: 863 | From: the diaspora | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
Cheap Chocolate's Eve...
I think our Cheap Chocolate Week is the first week of Easter. The third week of February is more like Cheap Greeting Cards Week.
It can go into the New Reformed Cheapskate Kalendar along with Cheap Pumpkin Week in early November, Cheap Turkey Week in late December, Cheap Wine Week at the begining of January, Cheap Haggis Week at the end of January, and Cheap Pheasant Week right now. (I bought two small ones for four quid last week, and one large one for four quid today - but that's probably it for fresh gamebirds till the autumn. Maybe that's why Lent comes at this time of year)
--------------------
Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
|
Posted
We haven't celebrated Valentine's Day since before we were married. Mr Nen begrudges the money on the card, the inflated prices of flowers at that time, and the general over-commercialisation of it all. I confess I wish he wanted to mark the day with some romantic gesture, but don't want him to do it because he feels obliged. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
A few years back a girlfriend of mine happened to go out for a meal one Valentine's evening with another girlfriend. They quickly realised that not only were they in a restaurant of couples, it was all gay couples. The friend she was with would have been very embarrassed, but she and I agreed that had we been there together that evening we'd have played the part with enthusiasm. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Nen - picturing the scenario.
--------------------
They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by infinite_monkey:
every day from two days ago till Valentine's Day, I'm challenging myself to recognize one thing I love about someone in my life, and to let that person know exactly what it is. I'm making my own space to say loving things to people.
Outstanding!
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
|
Posted
Amused.
--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
|
Posted
Another friend has had a baby. There just seems to be constant birth announcements amongst friends and family!
--------------------
Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scots lass
Shipmate
# 2699
|
Posted
At the risk of sounding like I get through a lot of dates or have a series of men interested in me and me interested in them (I don't!): I had a date last week from an internet site, which went really well, much better than I expected! The next day he messaged me and said he'd had a great time, and I responded in kind. The day after that, I sent him a message suggesting we meet up again. That was a week ago, and he's not read the message yet!
Any suggestions as to what I should do next, or should I just leave it and assume that he wasn't that into me after all?
Posts: 863 | From: the diaspora | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
Grab yourself a tin of Bittersweets and join the party!
I LOVE that site. Ahh, thank you for the contented afterglow of a long, hearty laugh.
--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
Excellent. Party in the cafe Thursday night, whaddaya say? ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
|
Posted
Aaiiiiiiiiii ain't got no-boaoaoaody
Nobody cares for me
And IaIaIaI'm so sad and loaoaoaoanly
Won't somebody come antakeachance with me?
--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
Ariston, your entire life has lead up to H& A Day. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Excellent. Party in the cafe Thursday night, whaddaya say?
Fuckin' A ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
What time?
--------------------
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
I can be available after about 7 PM or so UK time. (11 AM my time.)
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Cthulhu
PRAY TO BE EATEN FIRST
# 16186
|
Posted
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT FACE TENTACLES SWEETIE?
--------------------
I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL. Nothing personal.
Posts: 78 | From: R'lyeh | Registered: Jan 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
Oh my God. I actually swooned at the thought.
Are they prehensile? (OH, my God.)
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Cthulhu
PRAY TO BE EATEN FIRST
# 16186
|
Posted
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY
--------------------
I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL. Nothing personal.
Posts: 78 | From: R'lyeh | Registered: Jan 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
|
Posted
There's a website for everyone you know. A cosmic entity doesn't have to be lonely on St Valentine's.
I'd oblige myself but, inter-species intercourse, iffy.
(Wouldn't want it to go all ..... Prometheus.)
--------------------
Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scots lass:
Any suggestions as to what I should do next
Anything you wouldn't mind going to? Film, play, rave night, lecture on applied Sanskrit - call him, say d'ye wanna? The main thing is to have an actual voice contact, which should tell you.
The least hesitancy of course - forget it.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nenya:
A few years back a girlfriend of mine happened to go out for a meal one Valentine's evening with another girlfriend. They quickly realised that not only were they in a restaurant of couples, it was all gay couples. The friend she was with would have been very embarrassed, but she and I agreed that had we been there together that evening we'd have played the part with enthusiasm.
Nen - picturing the scenario.
I'm going out tonight to Billion Women Rising with my gender queer best friend. We're having dinner first, and have been constantly mistaken for a couple over the last 5 years* so who knows what tonight will bring
*I think it's something to do with the fact we lived together, held hands and were generally a buy one get one free type deal to most things.
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
|
Posted
I have been in a stable relationship for nearly forty years and I may buy flowers today for my lovely bride - I did get her a card and I'm taking her out to dinner: I wish my brother had a steady girlfriend. He has a good job and a lovely penthouse by the sea, but he is painfully shy. At 56, he is no longer dating undergrads but has moved on to grad students and other girls in their late 20s and early 30s. He promised the family he would be married at 40, but he mis-spoke...
They have a word for women in his age group; Grandmothers!
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
|
Posted
Does your brother know that you're posting this sort of stuff about him on a public bulletin board that is read by people from all over the world? Would he mind if he did know?
--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
Does your brother know that you're posting this sort of stuff about him on a public bulletin board that is read by people from all over the world? Would he mind if he did know?
What he said.
But I can't help thinking that:
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
At 56, he is no longer dating undergrads but has moved on to grad students and other girls in their late 20s and early 30s.
Is pretty conclusive proof that he is not painfully shy where it counts.
Not that that makes that much difference. Everyone is shy of course but some of us show it differently form others and in some ways I'm one of the least shy people I know. And I have very little difficulty talking to anybody. But those 20-something and 30-something postgraduates don't seem to be lining up for me. (They seem to be lining up for the coffee bar though. Maybe if I was supplying the university with coffee instead of software. No, that's no good, there are all those skinny Brazilians doing that. Of course I get paid about three times what they do,whichmight be some compensation)
Or more seriously, don't assume that the reason someone has or hasn't got married, or got a girlfriend (or a job, or anything else) is because they are shy. All sorts of people who are very shy get on in life, and all sorts of people who aren't don't. Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes they don't. If your brother isn't married and wants to be there might be all sorts of reasons, many of them nothing to do with his personality.
And even if they are its none of our business.
--------------------
Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Amos
Shipmate
# 44
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I have been in a stable relationship for nearly forty years and I may buy flowers today for my lovely bride - I did get her a card and I'm taking her out to dinner: I wish my brother had a steady girlfriend. He has a good job and a lovely penthouse by the sea, but he is painfully shy. At 56, he is no longer dating undergrads but has moved on to grad students and other girls in their late 20s and early 30s. He promised the family he would be married at 40, but he mis-spoke...
They have a word for women in his age group; Grandmothers!
Your post suggests that you really, really want your brother to produce some little nephews for you--is that correct? As this is All Saints I suggest you can the dismissive reference to middle-aged women.
--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
|
Posted
That is not what I got from Sir K's post. What I read is that he disapproves of his brother dating younger women. Not quite as sexist as you read it.
--------------------
I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
|
Posted
Sir Kevin, maybe your brother just doesn't want to settle down? Not everyone does.
My main issue with Valentines Day is all the spiritual blog posts etc on it - I can easily ignore the secular stuff. It's when Christians talk about the importance of romance, whether between couples or between Christ and the church, that I switch off. I haven't got anything to add to the conversation about Christian relationships, because I have no experience.
--------------------
Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
|
Posted
The part of today that doesn't make me retch is the genuine affection from honest, thoughtful people—like a minister friend of mine who was thankful she was married to a man who valued his family enough to spend this day 700 miles away from home to be with his dying mother. There's something profound about that, a realization that it's not just about you having The Most Wonderful Man/Woman In The World (seriously, so says everyone else), and that you're not the only person out there. Heck, I'll even smile at the rare "Life's still worth living when he's not around, but it's better when he is" statements.
These people don't make me cynical. I don't want to mock them. There's a certain honesty, a lack of any need to compensate for anything, and a focus on the other person, rather than a selfish possessiveness, that's genuinely refreshing.
For all the people posting pictures of the roses and fancy dinners while acting like they're unique in having found Mr./Ms. Right, however, I have some of DT's cards and some VERY NSFW punk. Fuck being sad, let's rock!
--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
On that note, can I just say having a friendly chat with a very much attached but generous-hearted person is a great way to while away a couple V-Day hours? (Thanks, Sioni)
I feel my need to be attached is not nearly as great as my need to simply belong.
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
(Sorry more thoughts)
Josephine posted something on FB a few days ago about how the bulk of the moments of connection and attachment we experience have nothing to do with pair-bonding, but they are vital to mental health. I have en thinking about that one a lot since I read it.
So, like, the other day I was chatting with this younger male classmate of mine about how cool Jorge Borges is (and he is-- an Argentinian writer) and I flashed on that article-- I thought, "This is what that author meant. This is connection. And it's OK to just enjoy it."
Because what I've done in the past is overprotected myself by stonewalling guys in moments like that-- oh, you are so far out of my league I am not even going to embarrass you by acting like I find you interesting. (And that is genuinely how my inner monologue runs-- don't get too friendly, guys like this don't want to be seen talking to women like you for too long.) But what the fuck is a league, anyway? Why not the "Jorge Borges Admiration" league? He's a nice, friendly guy who likes load of people why would it upset the universe if he liked me, too?
And I do mean "like", not "Like, like."
And that article made me realize that I was taking it all much too seriously and failing to enjoy a whole lot of cool people along the way. So, thanks, Josephine
[ 15. February 2013, 00:14: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
|
Posted
Kelly, he's out of your league. It's the Jorge Louis Borges Admiration League, and we issue membership cards.
You'll find yours in Penguin Classics Deluxe Editions Volume 3: Selected Nonfictions. Just turn to the essay on Ramon Llull, it's there.
--------------------
“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
(ETA, After looking up Llull: HOLY DAMN! ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
[ 15. February 2013, 02:27: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
|
Posted
Yo. I have a date on Friday night with someone from the Large Dating Site. He seems nice, and keen.
I will be mostly attempting to not self-sabotage in any of the more obvious ways. For example, I will try not to wear a cardigan (although I love a cardigan).
--------------------
Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Cat:
Yo. I have a date on Friday night with someone from the Large Dating Site. He seems nice, and keen.
I will be mostly attempting to not self-sabotage in any of the more obvious ways. For example, I will try not to wear a cardigan (although I love a cardigan).
What's wrong with cardigans? ![[Confused]](confused.gif) All the fashionable girls I know wear cardigans over their vintage dresses.
--------------------
Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
Depends on the cardigan.
This is cute.
But this is probably going to make just about anyone look boxy, and I'd never wear it on a date.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scots lass
Shipmate
# 2699
|
Posted
My last date, both he and I were wearing cardigans (that sounds like some hideous matching thing, which it wasn't). And I fully intend to wear a cardigan on my date at the weekend. As RuthW says, it depends on the cardigan!
Posts: 863 | From: the diaspora | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Printer-friendly view
