|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Crappy Choruses & Horrible Hymns redux
|
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
I imagine that John's probably right about the genesis of these tab lines. Like I said, some of the chords are so fantastically obscure that I have to assume it's some vast, cold machine deciding on the basis of the recording that that's what was played.
A friend in a pub tells me that is exactly what has happened. There is a computer program that notates scores on the basis of recordings. It is widely used. Apparently the default setting is extremely sensitive. Even on more sensible settings it is apparently not very competent.
My friend was not complementary about it.
--------------------
we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
|
Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif) Scary and snigger-worthy on so many levels.
Has anyone actually sung that one in church?
--------------------
*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alex Cockell
Ship’s penguin
# 7487
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alex Cockell:
Premier Radio are doing another radiothon - and they offered as a "reward" for gathering enough donations in an hour (900 quid) - to play Julia Plaut's "Mr Cow".
Someone has to die.
AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another telethon - and they're airing the fucker AGAIN!
Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
|
Posted
I apologise if this has had a mention before. We sang a song last Sunday (in the children's slot, thankfully) which contained the couplet:
God's love is big, God's love is great;
God's love is fab and he's my mate.
While I had no problem with the rest of the song, that 'mate' thing kept my inner theologian occupied for the rest of the service.
Posts: 942 | From: North Lincolnshire | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alex Cockell
Ship’s penguin
# 7487
|
Posted
Oh - I was on video desk today for both services, and this morning, we had a couple of kiddie ones that need to be seen to be believed...
One went -
"IF YOU WALK LIKE A MODEL or walk with a waddle
You are, you are, you're God's indeed
If you're very, very funny or good at making money
You are, you are, you're God's indeed"
DOug Horley was responsible for it - here's the rest...
And another one started "I will wave my hands in praise and adoration..."... yes, thanks for nothing, Ian Smale...
AND....
"I’m gonna walk by faith, not by sight,
I’m gonna walk by faith, not by sight,
I’m gonna follow Jesus and do what’s right,
I’m gonna walk by faith, not by sight,"...
That last one by Jim Bailey...
At least it got better from there..
Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Charles Had a Splurge on
Shipmate
# 14140
|
Posted
Alex,
where's your sense of fun? These are songs for children, the children like singing them, what's the problem?
Actually I think the Jim Bailey one sucks. But mainly because the children have no idea what the words actually mean. Oh and the tune.
--------------------
"But to live outside the law, you must be honest" R.A. Zimmerman
Posts: 224 | From: What used to be Berkshire | Registered: Sep 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Aravis
Shipmate
# 13824
|
Posted
You'd be surprised. Some children pretty much always hate action songs. And most grow out of them, usually just a bit younger than their families/Sunday school teachers/teachers expect them to.
Posts: 689 | From: S Wales | Registered: Jun 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Low Treason
Shipmate
# 11924
|
Posted
Indeed, and most children are sensible enough to know when adults are patronising them with all this junk.. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
--------------------
He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love.
Posts: 1914 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alex Cockell
Ship’s penguin
# 7487
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mrs whibley:
I apologise if this has had a mention before. We sang a song last Sunday (in the children's slot, thankfully) which contained the couplet:
God's love is big, God's love is great;
God's love is fab and he's my mate.
While I had no problem with the rest of the song, that 'mate' thing kept my inner theologian occupied for the rest of the service.
That one came up this morning. Thank goodness I just had to project the lyrics, but couldn't resist a smirk at the memory of your CCHH post...
Coupled with it was the one that alludes to believers suffering concussion when colliding with the Lord... ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Carys
Ship's Celticist
# 78
|
Posted
We came across a song in our hymnbook about David and Goliath.
The first verse contains the lines:
His sword was sharp and his spear was long
....
Biggest isn't always best
Carys
--------------------
O Lord, you have searched me and know me
You know when I sit and when I rise
Posts: 6896 | From: Bryste mwy na thebyg | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Squirrel: I see that there is another thread on "Kum By Yah." That got me thinking- what was the absolute WORST hymn ever sung during the Folk Mass craze of the Sixties and early Seventies? My nomination:
Sons of God
Hear His holy word
Gather 'round
the table of the Lord
Eat His Body
Drink His blood
And we'll sing a song of love
Allelu, Allelu
Alleluia
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Bene Gesserit
Shipmate
# 14718
|
Posted
quote:
Sons of God
Hear His holy word
Gather 'round
the table of the Lord
Eat His Body
Drink His blood
And we'll sing a song of love
Allelu, Allelu
Alleluia
Oh my goodness, I had completely forgotten that one. Please don't let it be an earworm!!!
--------------------
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Posts: 405 | From: Flatlands of the East | Registered: Apr 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
|
Posted
An agog nation needs to know: how are your ears???
--------------------
Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alex Cockell
Ship’s penguin
# 7487
|
Posted
Could one fictional candidate be that rap from episode 2 of Rev? The one that ran...
Love me, take me, Jesus; make me feel brand new, Love me, take me, Jesus, our resurrected Jew..
I'll have to see if I can discuss clearing a lyric quote...
But it's on episode 2...
Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
|
Posted
To return to the discussion on page 3:
A 'friend' has just posted "There is a fountain filled with blood" as a facebook update. Of course I had to come straight here to ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
--------------------
I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous - Mike Yaconelli
Posts: 942 | From: North Lincolnshire | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
|
Posted
That is a particularly 'ewww' song, isn't it? I think it's the veins that make it worse. TMI.
--------------------
*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
|
Posted
But that's a good one! And I think I have even sung it in church once. Can be very moving. Really.
--------------------
Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Helen-Eva
Shipmate
# 15025
|
Posted
Has anyone seen the "A Prayer and a Pint" sketch on That Mitchell and Webb Look? It's a kind of skit on Harry Seacombe involving an amiable but clueless presenter type talking irrelevantly to some "interesting" local person and then singing a hymn. The hymn is always the same and it really only has one line: "All I want to do is praise him". I assume it's made up for the show but it's not nearly as bad as plenty of the real thing.
If I've managed to learn how to do links you should be able to see it on YouTube here
--------------------
I thought the radio 3 announcer said "Weber" but it turned out to be Webern. Story of my life.
Posts: 637 | From: London, hopefully in a theatre or concert hall, more likely at work | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
BlueOpal
Shipmate
# 15895
|
Posted
Not sure how relevant this is, but a titter used to go around the church during services back in my schooldays every time the phrase "he has rais'd our fallen manhood" was sung. The hymn in question was sung every service. I'd have hoped they'd have learned.
Also, "Sing it in the Valleys, Shout it From the Mountain Tops" made me have less than ideal amounts of Christian patience towards the music teacher bobbing up and down with a manical grin while the school congregation managed a halfhearted bellow of "oh!" between lines. More often that not, someone would use the shouted line "oh" as an opportunity to make either an orgasm noise, or a Michael Jackson impression.
Church in Wales high schools, nothing quite like 'em...
--------------------
Well, I tell ye, there'll be no butter in Hell...
Posts: 111 | From: Rule Britannia | Registered: Sep 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
quote:
in searching for something else I came across O praise the Lord, God had a plan.
Jengie
Somebody please tell me this song is a joke? Please please?
As far as I know it is genuine.
Now a new horror has crossed my path, I will look it up after work but has anyone sung no 913 in Songs of Fellowship. Just for starters it has "goose" ryhming with "noose". I will put up the first verse, reading more is not required.
Jengie
--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
|
Posted
The first verse of 913 in Songs of Fellowship
quote:
Lost in a shuffle
I was lost as a goose
The devil had a rope out
and it looked like a noose
but just before I went off at that deep end
My father through me out a line
forgave me for my sin
Jengie
--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
mrs whibley
Shipmate
# 4798
|
Posted
Actually, I don't think that would necessarily be a bad song as a performance. Being required to sing it in corporate worshp though, ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
--------------------
I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous - Mike Yaconelli
Posts: 942 | From: North Lincolnshire | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
joan knox
Knoxy is my homeboy
# 16100
|
Posted
I think if I were being swung up in the air, I'd be the one throwing up, not God...
--------------------
Jesus saves, Allah protects, Buddha enlightens, Cthulhu thinks you'll make a nice sandwich
Posts: 906 | From: edinburgh | Registered: Dec 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Just Me
Shipmate
# 14937
|
Posted
The hymn has been mentioned before (though not since 2007 if google is my friend) but I thought I'd mention that when I acquired my grandmother's copy of Hymns Ancient and More Ancient the hymn In the Churchyard Side by Side: Mrs C.F. Alexander was rendered even more hysterically funny by finding it in the section "For the Very Young". I see from the link it was originally published in "Hymns for Little Children".
I bet there were kids who loved it!
Posts: 104 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Annagyijjk
Apprentice
# 16324
|
Posted
The moment you see the [spam removed], I believe you would think of the [spam removed]. Yes , it is not hard for you to combine [spam removed]. Now many people are interested in the game. Would you like to play it? And how much do you know about [spam removed]? Just have a go!
[This spammer has been reported to the admins- thanks L]
[ 31. March 2011, 10:01: Message edited by: Louise ]
Posts: 3 | Registered: Mar 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pine Marten
Shipmate
# 11068
|
Posted
I don't think these Maple Story links are very singable - doo be doo be dum dum Maple S-t-o-r-yyy ...nope.
whoops, x-posted with the above...
[ 31. March 2011, 10:02: Message edited by: Pine Marten ]
--------------------
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde
Posts: 1731 | From: Isle of Albion | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
|
Posted
There sure seem to be a lot of crappy newer "hymns" that throw in sexual innuendo... here is an excerpt from "God Made Me To Be A Man" from hymnal.net:
Oh, just call on Him,
He'll fill you to the brim!
Fill, fill, fill! I'm full of Him.
Joy, joy, joy! Overflowing.
Love, love, love! Coming from Him within.
Oh, I have touched the King!
And this little romantic bit:
Lord, I just open up to You;
I let You do what You want to do.
Lord, I just give myself to You,
'Cause I love You—Lord, I do.
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/ns/231#ixzz1IJeb5Bay
And one more:
Lord, how long, dear Bridegroom,
'Til You come, Lord, how soon?
Don't delay for that coming day, coming day.
Grant me, Lord, to be filled
With You, Lord, every day.
Dearest Lord, take me all the way.
Come, Lord Jesus,
Please come, dear Bridegroom;
Precious One, come soon, come soon.
Lord, consume me!
Oh Lord, don't let me stray,
Faithful to You all the way.
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/lb/40#ixzz1IJffWfNl
These "hymns" really creep me out! ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
|
Posted
Oh, no! Aaaaaaaaaaah, someone hand me a gallon of brain bleach!!
"Oh Jesus now grow in me;
I want for You to be
Pleased to be in me what You want to be
And when it gets too hard feel free
To grow some more in me."
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/ns/39#ixzz1IJgRg6ry
I'm not sure what's getting hard and I probably don't really want to know...
--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
|
Posted
Paddy
The writer of this just needs to get herself a nice fella and a room.
--------------------
Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
|
Posted
Eek! Makes "Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising" seem pretty tame by comparison.
--------------------
*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Paddy
The writer of this just needs to get herself a nice fella and a room.
Or, HE does! I sent these atrocious lyrics to all my Gay male pals so they could get a good laugh from some of those lines... "fill me to the brim..."
--------------------
God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
birdie
fowl
# 2173
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
Eek! Makes "Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising" seem pretty tame by comparison.
Oh man, that's one of my pet hates. Mainly because it seems that Brian Doerksen wrote a perfectly adequate first verse, then seemed to think 'but one verse cannot possibly be enough', and came up with.... that.
When I use it in worship I try to only use the first verse, but often the congo gets carried away and we're singing the second verse before we know it. Some worship leader I am.
--------------------
"Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness."
Captain Jack Sparrow
Posts: 1290 | From: the edge | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
|
Posted
Our school loved "Autumn Days", it was the unofficial school song. I like the way it brings ordinary everyday things into the realm of things to be thanked for. But I hated the jet plane line. The only refuelling planes I could think of were military. I wrote to the editor of the BBC Hymn Book to ask about it, and he thought it referred to stacking to come in to land, and that the author would never have intended the military connection.
I tried to find a substitute line - no rhymes available that weren't forced or meaningless. It would mean dumping that beautiful visual image from line one.
Meanwhile, reading this thread makes me glad I left singing churches for the Friends. Losing hymns had been my one regret.
Penny
[ 11. April 2011, 10:28: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
|
Posted
Today we had a new hymn in church; "Come into the streets with me" with the chorus
"Come and Follow my Leader.
Come and Follow my Leader
Jesus Christ is riding by
Come and Follow my Leader."
I surely can't be the only one who hears these words and visualises a game of Follow My Leader in progress down the streets of Jesusalem, complete with side kicks, bunny hops and bum wiggles.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
|
Posted
I am so, so, so, happy to be able to report that as far as I remember I have never heard of "Autumn Days" before this thread, never knowingly sung it, and have no idea what the tune is. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) <== Smug Smiley.
--------------------
Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
|
Posted
My school loved it too! It was one of my favourites along with "dance then wherever you may be..."
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
ThunderBunk
Stone cold idiot
# 15579
|
Posted
I know we've done PSA to the point of collective madness, but I still think "There is a green hill" belongs in here.
--------------------
Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".
Foolish, potentially deranged witterings
Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
|
Posted
Today at church we sang umpteen verses of the old spiritual "Ride On, Jesus Ride." We do this every year...we sing part of it during the Eucharist, and then part of it for the ending hymn.
It's painful to listen to rhythm-impaired white people butcher any traditional Negro spiritual, but for a dozen verses (and let's not forget the refrain!) on a special day, it's just too much.
The problem seems to be that our organist only knows three Palm-Sunday-appropriate hymns, and this is one of them.
During the closing verses, I could help leaning over to DP and whispering, "I'm sorry -- what's the name of this hymn again?", creating a chain-reaction titter down the row.
--------------------
Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
South Coast Kevin
Shipmate
# 16130
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Emma Louise:
My school loved it too! It was one of my favourites along with "dance then wherever you may be..."
Ah, Lord of the Dance is beautiful! Not that I had any understanding of what it was all about when I sang it at school...
--------------------
My blog - wondering about Christianity in the 21st century, chess, music, politics and other bits and bobs.
Posts: 3309 | From: The south coast (of England) | Registered: Jan 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Darkwing
Shipmate
# 16207
|
Posted
One time in College Chapel, the speaker said, "You know, chapel could be a lot worse" and proceeded to show us this.
I apologize in advance.
--------------------
"Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament!"
- Kenneth, 30 Rock
Posts: 161 | From: NW Oregon, USA | Registered: Feb 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
quote:
Originally posted by FooloftheShip:
I know we've done PSA to the point of collective madness, but I still think "There is a green hill" belongs in here.
Indeed - I refuse to have it sung in my church.
I love it! And I'm very much looking forward to singing it on Friday.
If it is right to talk about "looking forward" to commemorating a brutal act of torture, and spending two days thinking about sin and death and pain. Is it morally permissible to enjoy Good Friday music?
--------------------
Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
LutheranChik
Shipmate
# 9826
|
Posted
Before each service at our church we have a little hymn sing using a home-made hymnal containing an odd mix of 70's folk mass favorites and old-school camp meetings beloved of a few of our elder members.
One of the very worst of the latter is "Fill My Cup, Lord -- a prototype of the "Jesus is My Boyfriend" genre of Christian songwriting from a past century. I can handle most of the other stuff in our little songbook...but when someone suggests this song I find myself creating alternative lyrics in my head:
Fill my cup, Lord,
I'm throwing up, Lord
Come and heal this retching in my soul...
--------------------
Simul iustus et peccator
http://www.lutheranchiklworddiary.blogspot.com
Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Thread closed
Printer-friendly view
![[Biased]](wink.gif)
