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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Dear Sine...
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Dear Sine,
After much discussion at dinner last night it was voted that I should put this question before the Master of Ice cream forks.
Here it is:
We were dining at a fine Italian restaurant in San Francisco's North Beach. I ordered a pasta dish that featured mussles and scallops, thinking these would be out of shell and incorporated into the sauce somehow. Imagine my surprise when I was presented with a plate of patsa covered with shelled shellfish!
This may sound really plebe of me, but I have never been confronted with such a dish in all my eating experience. So I figured I was gonna have to dive in and accept the fact that I was bound to make a faux pas at some point.
Seeing there was a big spoon provided on my plate, I used that to steer the shells toward my fork while I teased the meat out with it. Once done with the shell, I piled the empties on my empty bread plate. My companions noticed I ran out of room and cordially offered theirs as well. It was suggested that I could use my fingers to anchor the shell, but I was afraid of embarassing myself, as this was a fairy swanky place for North Beach.
So, lay it on me.. how badly did I screw up?
Constant Diner
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Nutmeg
Ship's spice girl
# 5297
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Posted
I also have a question regarding dining sine, to perhaps you could answer 'constant diner's' question and mine at the same time.
It concerns peas. I was taught many years ago to eat peas by squashing them on the back of my fork. I have been trying to impart this knowledge on the young ones, but they have asked difficult questions as to how many one may squash at a time, and I am afraid that I cannot answer. Is this the correct way to devour a plate of peas? Do you have any further suggestions for me in trying to raise the young ones with decent table manners?
Table Manners Police.
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" Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" - Groucho Marx
Posts: 2285 | From: under the verandah at the rum distillery | Registered: Dec 2003
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
It must not have been that fine an Italian restaurant in San Francisco's North Beach if they didn't supply you with a seafood fork and a pair of tongs.
Since they did not, what you should have done is use your place fork to remove the meat from the first mussel, then use the first empty shell as tongs to remove the meat from the rest of the mussels. You should not have put the empty shells on your bread plate, you should have stacked them neatly in a row across the rim of your soup plate or pasta bowl. You would of course have had to use your fingers to anchor the mussel you were working on, afterwards asking the waiter for a fingerbowl with a scented geranium petal floating in it. Or possibly a moist towelette.
In the future I suggest you take your own seafood fork and tongs with you if you're going to patronize dives that try to pass themselves off as fine Italian restaurants.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif) It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault...
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nutmeg:
Is this the correct way to devour a plate of peas?
Theoretically you turn the tines of the fork downward and spear them. Personally I trap them up against the side of the mashed potatoes and scoop them up. This is "wrong" but I do it anyway. Turning the fork over looks so weird (to Americans at least.)
quote:
Do you have any further suggestions for me in trying to raise the young ones with decent table manners?
Not being a parent, I'd hesitate to say. My mother had a few set things we were never allowed to do...put our elbows on the table, talk with our mouth full, interrupt the conversation, chew with our mouth open. We would always be corrected on these basics. Not much fun for her, I suspect.
Learning the finer points came during multi-generational Sunday afternoon dinners at my grandparents' house or at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with no outsiders present. Plus we kids went out to restaurants with my parents regularly (my mother not liking to cook) and were exposed to things on a "need to know" basis.
I am told total strangers would come up to my parents in restaurants and compliment them on their children's manners. But causing a scene in public was cause for punishment once we got home. Perhaps I should sue. We were doubtlessly very repressed.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Niënna
Ship's Lotus Blossom
# 4652
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Posted
Dear Sine,
One of my closest friend sent me a picture of this guy who she thinks is attractive and asked me what I thought about attractiveness of the guy. It has been the case for the five years I have known her that every guy she's ever dated/been interested in...they all have many great qualities that appeal to her tastes but not mine. I really want to be positive and affirming...but I struggle with trying to say something simply based on one's physical appearance. Especially since she and I are different in what we see as attractive. But I want to say sometime nice without a white lie. Is this possible? Thank you.
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[Nino points a gun at Chiki]
Nino: Now... tell me. Who started the war?
Chiki: [long pause] We did.
~No Man's Land
Posts: 2298 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Jun 2003
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BroJames
Shipmate
# 9636
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyfulsoul:
Dear Sine,
One of my closest friend sent me a picture of this guy who she thinks is attractive and asked me what I thought about attractiveness of the guy. It has been the case for the five years I have known her that every guy she's ever dated/been interested in...they all have many great qualities that appeal to her tastes but not mine. I really want to be positive and affirming...but I struggle with trying to say something simply based on one's physical appearance.
As you obviously know her tastes by now, perhaps you can just get away with "Wow! I can see why you fancy him" which doesn't (technically) admit to finding him attractive yourself. Given she's just sent you a photo, you could even refer to anything specific in the photo which you know will have appealed to her. Higher on the honesty scale would be "Well, you know our tastes are different, but I really can see why you ..." I always used to find this sort of thing difficult, and would say something like 'She's not really my type but..." Then you can move the conversation on to something more lasting like the guy's character.
Posts: 3374 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2005
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyfulsoul:
I really want to be positive and affirming...but I struggle with trying to say something simply based on one's physical appearance. Especially since she and I are different in what we see as attractive.
"Oh wow! He is just so your type!".
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
We were doubtlessly very repressed.
A little bit of repression is a good thing, especially when it comes to restaurants. There's nothing more annoying than trying to have a nice meal while somebody else's kids behave like they were in a sandpit. Wandering around eating with food in one hand and and picking their nose with the other, then smearing ketchup all over the back of your coat.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nutmeg:
It concerns peas. I was taught many years ago to eat peas by squashing them on the back of my fork. I have been trying to impart this knowledge on the young ones, but they have asked difficult questions as to how many one may squash at a time, and I am afraid that I cannot answer. Is this the correct way to devour a plate of peas?
What kind of peas are we talking about? Petit pois-type green peas or bean-type peas such as black-eyed? I ask because you refer to "devour[ing] a plate of peas". When is one ever faced with "a plate of peas"?
I can quite understand using the fork to mash bean-type "peas" a bit before scooping them up, but green peas musn't be mashed. In my sort of Midwestern upbringing (Michigan) they are scooped up on the fork (and one accepts the varying success of the scooping be it one pea or a bunch of them) and eaten. And as Sine has pointed out, it is acceptable to make use of auxiliary foods such as mashed potatoes.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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The Kat in the Hat
Shipmate
# 2557
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Posted
Incidentally, what is the correct response when people compliment you on your children's behaviour (usually in a restaurant). I usually ending up saying something about sedating them heavily before allowing them out ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Less is more ...
Posts: 485 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Josephine
Orthodox Belle
# 3899
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Kat in the Hat:
Incidentally, what is the correct response when people compliment you on your children's behaviour (usually in a restaurant). I usually ending up saying something about sedating them heavily before allowing them out
My maternal grandmother taught me that the only correct response to any compliment is "Thank you."
To reply by saying that whatever it is -- the children's behavior, the dress, the haircut, the performance -- is not as wonderful as you have just been told is to insult the judgment or taste of the person who just gave you the compliment.
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I've written a book! Catherine's Pascha: A celebration of Easter in the Orthodox Church. It's a lovely book for children. Take a look!
Posts: 10273 | From: Pacific Northwest, USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Anna B
Shipmate
# 1439
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Kat in the Hat:
Incidentally, what is the correct response when people compliment you on your children's behaviour (usually in a restaurant). I usually ending up saying something about sedating them heavily before allowing them out
"Thank you; you are very kind" works for me. Perfectly polite, and yet allows for the possibility that within the next five minutes the child may throw something across the room.
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Bad Christian (TM)
Posts: 3069 | From: near a lot of fish | Registered: Oct 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Kat in the Hat:
Incidentally, what is the correct response when people compliment you on your children's behaviour (usually in a restaurant). I usually ending up saying something about sedating them heavily before allowing them out
Teach the kids to smile and say thank you for their own compliments. ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Nutmeg
Ship's spice girl
# 5297
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
quote:
Originally posted by Nutmeg:
It concerns peas. I was taught many years ago to eat peas by squashing them on the back of my fork. I have been trying to impart this knowledge on the young ones, but they have asked difficult questions as to how many one may squash at a time, and I am afraid that I cannot answer. Is this the correct way to devour a plate of peas?
What kind of peas are we talking about? Petit pois-type green peas or bean-type peas such as black-eyed? I ask because you refer to "devour[ing] a plate of peas". When is one ever faced with "a plate of peas"?
I can quite understand using the fork to mash bean-type "peas" a bit before scooping them up, but green peas musn't be mashed. In my sort of Midwestern upbringing (Michigan) they are scooped up on the fork (and one accepts the varying success of the scooping be it one pea or a bunch of them) and eaten. And as Sine has pointed out, it is acceptable to make use of auxiliary foods such as mashed potatoes.
They were baby green peas. I said a plate of peas as being little and round they tend to run all over the plate. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) My children seem strangely impressed at being taught the 'proper' way to dine. I think I will be pushing the 'spear your peas' line in the absence of any mash.
Thank you for the wonderful advice. So nice to know this service is so readily available and free in this day and age.
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" Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" - Groucho Marx
Posts: 2285 | From: under the verandah at the rum distillery | Registered: Dec 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyfulsoul:
One of my closest friend sent me a picture of this guy who she thinks is attractive and asked me what I thought about attractiveness of the guy.
Forgive me if I sound jaded, and Sine will undoubtedly have something more positive to say, but no one who asks someone's opinion is looking for anything other than a corroboration of their own opinion, regardless of how the request is worded. You should therefore respond accordingly.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
Dear Sine,
I have two friends who I like dearly. Friend A also likes Friend B. Friend B really doesn't like Friend A. I can, on the whole, juggle meeting them so that they don't spend a whole lot of time with each other. But how do I approach it when Friend B says negative things about Friend A to me?
Do I ignore it or do I ask him not to talk about her to me again like that? I don't like being drawn into being bitchy about someone I like very much indeed.
Your wisdom would be appreciated.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Geezer:
no one who asks someone's opinion is looking for anything other than a corroboration of their own opinion, regardless of how the request is worded.
That is not true. When I ask for an opinion I am genuinely seeking the other person's input into the situation. Interesting insights can be gained that way.
quote:
You should therefore respond accordingly.
That being to tell the truth (in a polite and non-hurtful way).
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
But how do I approach it when Friend B says negative things about Friend A to me?
I have exactly the same situation in my life. In fact nobody else I know likes him.
I have three ways of dealing with unkind comments about Mr. X.
1) "Uhm...well...yes. I know you don't like him. I do." and then change the subject.
2) "Well, we all have our trashy friends, now don't we?"...reminding one particular friend of his drunken ex-boyfriend without actually mentioning him by name.
3) "We have a lot in common"...which reminds them that in putting down my friend they are also putting me down.
But there is a lot to be said for just ignoring things you don't want to hear. It's something people learn as they get older. That sort of situational deafness. Personally, I'm cultivating it. Saves a lot of social wear and tear.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
When I ask for an opinion I am genuinely seeking the other person's input into the situation. Interesting insights can be gained that way.
Have you ever asked Gremlin "Does this dress make my butt look big?"
I do think that when asked for comment on a new boyfriend's picture enthusiasm, however faked, is called for. Although one could toy with the idea of saying something about having seen him on the registered sex-offender website. Or perhaps not.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Have you ever asked Gremlin "Does this dress make my butt look big?"
I don't think I have used that phrase, but I have asked his opinion on whether things are flatterning or fattening. (I so don't need clothes to make me look bigger.) He is honest yet kind in his comments.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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EnglishRose
Shipmate
# 4808
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Posted
Dear Uncle Sine,
A friend of mine has invited me to join her for afternoon tea at her club. I accepted the invitation but have since discovered that a mutual 'acquaintance' of ours has been invited to join us as he will be in town that afternoon.
Unbeknownst to my friend, our 'acquaintance' nearly broke my heart four years ago and I haven't seen him since. I don't mind meeting up at all - in fact, it's going to be great to catch up on old gossip. However, I have been thrown into a paroxysm of panic about what to wear. It's vitally important that I look absolutely impeccable without appearing to have made an effort or giving the wrong impression (the last thing I want him thinking is that means anything more to me than just a good friend!)
What do you advise?
Posts: 544 | From: London | Registered: Aug 2003
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
It's terrible when I don't get asked the question I want to answer. Here is a situation fraught with human drama - the genteel surroundings, the unaware friend, the old flame, secret glances and sizing up, perhaps even a few regrets - and I'm being asked WHAT TO WEAR? It's just not fair, I tell you.
Besides which, it's well to know one's limitations. A Mere Man cannot adequately answer so important a questions. I must turn this over to our panel of goddess-worshipping, raisin-cake-eating experts...
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373
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Posted
I think - and I know this is a pathetic answer - that how comfortable you feel is going to be more important that what you wear.
I.e. if you don't normally wear make-up, putting on make-up will make you feel uncomfortable and therefore make you self-concious, and then you'll unwittingly give the impression that you're trying too hard. Ditto with specially nice clothes.
So I would say wear whatever you'd normally wear to such a lunch. Wear something nice that you already have and enjoy wearing - just go with your normal style, even at the risk of being slightly under-dressed. Being relaxed in your skin will be far more impressive to the love-rat than what you wear.
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It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]
Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Well I'm not really an expert, but I think you should wear your sexiest, skimpiest, most flattering and most expensive clothes.
Just so he knows what he's missing.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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MightyAardvark
Apprentice
# 10255
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Posted
black fatigues, body armour, your choice of drop point tanto or ka-bar.
Night vision goggles are a season favourite.
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Why is everyone looking at me like that?
Posts: 19 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Aug 2005
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JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
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Posted
Dear Sine,
What is the correct way to handle a church organist who seems plainly to be trying to say, "I'm gay" but cannot seem to spit out the words? It is an exceptionally common problem of mine because I make my Unitarian-like progressive Christianity plain but not obnoxiously so IRL, which seems to be greatly encouraging. Enough to invite social interactions to an empty apartment adorned with an ancient cat, Scooby-doo memorabilia, and a selection of Will and Grace videos casually pulled from their position on the shelf. Currently, I live in a tiny rural University town with a devilish mix of far left intellectuals and far right octogenarian land owners. Guess who has the money. The parish priest is retiring, the treasury is nearly bankrupt, and an exceptionally contentious search has begun for a new rector.
Any hint of "It's OK to be gay" solicits a stone-faced million mile stare. Only once in my choir history have I succeeded in getting the leader to say he was gay and that went OK. All other times I have awkwardly implied that I know and it's OK, a fumbling, bumbling awkwardness has ensued. After that, it seems to result in an "us against the gay-hating world" situation where the organist and music program, always targeted for budget cutbacks, are militantly pursued by the rabid right who had "no idea that he simply hadn't found the right woman by age 45 or that there was anything at to all to his altar guild donation of a profusion of roses on the annual memorial of the death of his cat of 20 years."
The message I would like to give is, "It's OK to be gay, but you're on your own with the Cartwrights. By the way, I give you one chance in 10. More ice cream?"
Cousin Jimmy.
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote:
What is the correct way to handle a church organist who seems plainly to be trying to say, "I'm gay" but cannot seem to spit out.
Dear Cousin Jimmy,
This also is a bit outside my experience, never having a known a single church organist who had the slightest difficulty making it perfectly clear he was gay if such was the case. Especially in the Episcopal Church where being a straight man probably counts against you in that field. Probably aren't "sensitive" or "artistic" enough if you're a straight organist. Too much testosterone or something. (Sorry tomb. I'm sure you're the exception.)
But frankly I'm puzzled why this is your concern unless you're planning on going to bed with him, which doesn't seem to be the case. Also you're mind-reading if you know what he's "plainly trying to say". Maybe he's plainly trying to say he's one of those nellie straight men who give homosexuals a bad name. Such do exist. So really until he gives your thigh a good squeeze while staring intently into your eyes, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
Now if you are wanting to go to bed with him, please rephrase your question and I'll give you a different kind of advice.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Laura
General nuisance
# 10
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Posted
Dear Sine,
Your switching back and forth between new and old identities seems ... not on, somehow. Are you planning on doing this indefinitely?
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Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. - Erich Fromm
Posts: 16883 | From: East Coast, USA | Registered: Apr 2001
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
I just realized I've never logged off and back in at work.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
So I would say wear whatever you'd normally wear to such a lunch.
Well, maybe just one little extravagant extra. Which you can afford because you are not in some income-draining, personality-cramping domestic situation with this person.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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EnglishRose
Shipmate
# 4808
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine*:
It's terrible when I don't get asked the question I want to answer.
So what was the question you want to answer? I'm dying to know!
Posts: 544 | From: London | Registered: Aug 2003
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Paige
Shipmate
# 2261
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine*:
Maybe he's plainly trying to say he's one of those nellie straight men who give homosexuals a bad name. Such do exist.
Dear Sine:
Can you tell me how to recognize one of these men? How do you tell the difference between a gay man who might be a bit effeminate and a nellie straight man? (And no, I'm not asking for myself. )
Best,
Paige
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Sister Jackhammer of Quiet Reflection
Posts: 886 | From: Sweet Tea Land, USA | Registered: Jan 2002
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JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine*:
But frankly I'm puzzled why this is your concern unless you're planning on going to bed with him, which doesn't seem to be the case. Also you're mind-reading if you know what he's "plainly trying to say".
The country mouse and the city mouse. Some country mice have to play a game that city mice don't have to: "is it OK to be myself around you?"
It can turn you into a mind reader and/or a hypocrite and I probably commit both sins in the Episcopal church.
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
What is the correct way to handle a church organist who seems plainly to be trying to say, "I'm gay" but cannot seem to spit out.
So many puns, so little time - don't use any of them.
Why don't you have a discussion about visibility management in the military - i.e. chosing who you disclose to *very* carefully - and leave him to draw any parallels he wishes in the privacy of his thoughts.
[ 13. September 2005, 23:10: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
There's another possibility. The organist is gay (of course), but he thinks you are hitting on him and he doesn't fancy you. Therefore he doesn't want to be admitting he's gay, or it will encourage you and before he knows it you will be the one grabbing his thigh and staring meaningfully into his eyes.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by JimmyT:
Some country mice have to play a game that city mice don't have to: "is it OK to be myself around you?"
Ok...I am suspicious of people who entice confidences from other people. I'm sure you think your motives are good but I can think of several reasons why it's a bad idea and really not one why it would be a good idea. Uncle Sine suggests you just let it lie, Jimmy.
If you're his friend he'll tell you in his own time if he wants to. Please don't put him on the spot.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Paige:
Can you tell me how to recognize one of these men? How do you tell the difference between a gay man who might be a bit effeminate and a nellie straight man?
Yes. Leave a muscle magazine open on your coffee table. Watch carefully to see if his pupils dilate and his breathing becomes shallow.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosus:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine*:
It's terrible when I don't get asked the question I want to answer.
So what was the question you want to answer? I'm dying to know!
I'm not exactly sure, but it had something to do with how to have a sub-textual conversation with the old flame, the text of which would have been meaningless to the clueless mutual friend.
Meaningful glances, cryptic phrases, that sort of thing. And over tea at a private club, too. Very Private Lives.
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
quote:
Have you ever asked Gremlin "Does this dress make my butt look big?"
Reminds me of the scene from "Beauty Shop" where Queen Latifah is looking in the mirror and asks her young daughter, "Does this dress make my butt look big?" The little girl answers bediently, "Yes, mama, it does." To which Queen Latifah smiles contentedly at her reflection and responds, "Perfect".
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by Paige:
Can you tell me how to recognize one of these men? How do you tell the difference between a gay man who might be a bit effeminate and a nellie straight man?
Yes. Leave a muscle magazine open on your coffee table. Watch carefully to see if his pupils dilate and his breathing becomes shallow.
...or watch their eyes in the course of casual conversation. The gay guy will look you in the eye and the nellie straight will be shifty and talk too much.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
There's another possibility. The organist is gay (of course), but he thinks you are hitting on him and he doesn't fancy you. Therefore he doesn't want to be admitting he's gay, or it will encourage you and before he knows it you will be the one grabbing his thigh and staring meaningfully into his eyes.
Ah, I've botched this terribly. I only meant "seems to want to come out into the open" and "wanting to invite me and my wife into his circle of friends" when I said "trying to say he's gay." He's new, we're new, the other people we've seen him with are new, we never see him with the same group of people twice and the church is in upheaval. Everybody just never mind me. My instincts are with Sine's last advice--just act like myself and let him act like himself. We all have the splendidly awkward time people do in little college towns where people come and go.
Ta ta and thanks!
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
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Niënna
Ship's Lotus Blossom
# 4652
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Paige:
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine*:
Maybe he's plainly trying to say he's one of those nellie straight men who give homosexuals a bad name. Such do exist.
Dear Sine:
Can you tell me how to recognize one of these men? How do you tell the difference between a gay man who might be a bit effeminate and a nellie straight man? (And no, I'm not asking for myself. )
Best,
Paige
Ask him where he lives. Sometimes that works.
For example, I was getting my make-up done in LA months ago for fun and I couldn't tell if the guy who was doing my make-up was a free-spirited nellie straight or if he were bona fide gay. He didn't have a distinctly SoCal accent, so I politely inquired if he lived in Cali his whole life. And basically, through geography...San Fransisco...Hillcrest...etc... I came to the conclusion that he was either a very unusual straight man who enjoyed living in places where there are more gay people than straight or that he was indeed gay.
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[Nino points a gun at Chiki]
Nino: Now... tell me. Who started the war?
Chiki: [long pause] We did.
~No Man's Land
Posts: 2298 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Jun 2003
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
Dear Sine:
I was so hamster-wheel busy two weeks back, I hadn't the time to ask then --
But, for future reference, please do give me your valuable opinion on this:
What does one wear to a hurricane evacuation?
(I mean, besides a precautionary toe tag... ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) )
[ 14. September 2005, 04:06: Message edited by: Janine ]
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
What does one wear to a hurricane evacuation?
Water wings?
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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
What does one wear to a hurricane evacuation?
One's diamonds, sewn into one's underwear.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Paige
Shipmate
# 2261
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Joyfulsoul:
Ask him where he lives. Sometimes that works.
Given that he lives in outer suburbia with his wife and family, that wouldn't help much. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Thanks Sine----I was pretty sure which was which, but your answer sealed it for me.
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Sister Jackhammer of Quiet Reflection
Posts: 886 | From: Sweet Tea Land, USA | Registered: Jan 2002
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Janine:
What does one wear to a hurricane evacuation?
One's diamonds, sewn into one's underwear.
My thought exactly.
(Although we know what happened to the last family who tried that.)
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Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Lola
Ship's kink
# 627
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Posted
Dear Sine
I was brought up to never read at the table. How does this apply to dining alone in a restaurant whilst travelling on business? I have sometimes taken my newspaper or a book to dinner when eating in the anonymous hotel chains most business travel seems to involve.
I recently made a trip for work to an old-fashioned seaside town and was booked by the company I was visiting into a small, family type establishment full of families on holiday and couples on romantic nights out. In fact, it specified that you should dress for dinner - which alarmed me at first as I had not packed a cocktail dress, but then I reasoned that they meant don't come in your bikini and sarong straight from the beach and so just wore my suit. I felt it would be rude to the other diners in the restaurant to read at the table (although I don't know why, they were not eating dinner with me) and now I am re-evaluating whether I should desist in general when eating alone even in the Holiday Inn?
BTW I solved the problem for the rest of the week by eating fish and chips on the prom looking out to sea.
Lola
Posts: 951 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by JimmyT:
I only meant "seems to want to come out into the open" and "wanting to invite me and my wife into his circle of friends" when I said "trying to say he's gay." He's new, we're new, the other people we've seen him with are new
From what you have said above you are not going to treat this guy any differently based solely on his sexuality. Ignore the question of whether he is gay or not.
You are new, he is new, why not invite him over for lunch after church one day, or suggest that you go out for lunch. I love having people over for lunch and have found it an excellent way to make new friends at church.
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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