Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by ken:

Belgium is the odd one out. A constitutionally Roman Catholic state founded by the Brits in the 1830s in order to prevent France running all the Channel ports.

We stocked its royal family with minor German Protestant princes, just as we did those of Greece and a few other assorted south-eastern European countries. Its a British skill, like stocking salmon farms and trout ponds.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

How the hell have you managed to take the joy, the excitement and the irrepressible delight of the Gospel and reduced it to nyah nyah nyah?

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lynn MagdalenCollege:
she's either laughing and whooping it up with friends (the ones that roped her into this[a comedic ballet]) or she's getting pie-eyed down at Fergit Yer Trubbles, pondering her future career as an itinerant buffoon... I trust it's the former.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

A priest of my childhood once commented, "If God's given you a terrible singing voice, then the least you can do is give it back to Him. Sing up, damnit."

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

BECAUSE PAUL WAS JESUS' SOCK PUPPET!!!

---

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posted                       

quote:

---

I hate it when people bullshit in the name of Jesus.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

The sentence above, for example, is so fat and unwieldy as to be well-nigh unreadable. A starving Third World family could live on it for a week.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rossweisse:

quote:

---

Originally posted by MouseThief:
On the contrary. If she's that worried about starving third world families, she should send her calorific sentences to them, rather than wasting them on us overfed westerners.

---

"There are children starving for adverbs in India."

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

comet:
I find an afternoon's play with a decent organ always sets me right again.

---

--------------------
"I love old things, they make me feel sad."
"What's good about sad?"
"It's happy for deep people!"
Sally Sparrow to Kathy - Doctor Who

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Silent Acolyte in Eccles thread "Process to the Trisagion":
Though it's hard not to sing when approaching the altar of God.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

One of the salient points about being liberal is that your core is not meant to be hard, but soft, and generous, if not exactly pliable or runny, something like chocolate fudge.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

"Get your arse down to the nearest marriage license bureau as soon as you can find a woman who'll have you, because you obviously haven't got the gift of chastity."

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Atheist:
The people I know who have "found Jesus" later on in life are all very much like ex-smokers - zealous wankers.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gort:
Humour is the last refuge of the desperate and cynical.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

on the entry into town, right where the tracks cross the road, there is a large swamp where the moose like to hang out in the summer. one day, my son (11) and I come up over the hill and down the other side to see ten vehicles - 'bagos and rentals, of course - stopped and blocking the road while taking pictures of a lovely older bull trying to have his breakfast in peace.

as I wound my way through the stopped cars to get to work, I saw a young man with camera in the swamp water, wading closer, and closer, and closer...

I said to Chasee#2, "he had better be careful or that moose will charge."

Chasee#2 responds in his best "moose voice": "Excuse me sir, that will be twenty bucks for that picture. I accept Visa.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
comet:

quote:

---

Chasee#2 responds in his best "moose voice": "Excuse me sir, that will be twenty bucks for that picture. I accept Visa."

---

---

C#2 is a big fan of the Ship. Big.

I told him he made the Quotes Fie, and his response was, "AWWWWWW-some!"

He said to tell you all he'll be here in 4 years and six months.

--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin

Posted                       

Bring it, Chasee!

Ok, this was too long to put into my sig, but it is so my political position on , well, everything:

quote:

---

Republicans are idiots, and democrats are idiots, and liberals are idiots, and conservatives are idiots.. anybody who done made up their mind before they fucking heard the issue is a fucking idiot.

--Chris Rock

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Why the Good Lord would want to save any of you squabbling fuck-monkeys is the One True Mystery.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Thankfully, I put my faith in God to tell me whether or not I'm a good Christian, and not in you or the three blind mice of Jensenites.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Some things are just meant to be gloriously tacky. Two of them are Spanish reredos and your average wedding cake.

---

Posted                       

------

Kelley, this would fit as a sig:

quote:

---

...anybody who done made up their mind before they fucking heard the issue is a fucking idiot. ~Chris Rock

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by KenWritez:
If you really hate [X]that much, why not just buy a cat from the pound, name him "[X]," and then have him neutered? Keep the scrotum on your desk in a little jar of formaldehyde.

---

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

The question of where Mark ended his gospel has been one of those that induce a collapse in scholarly decorum and there’s nothing quite so fascinating as sitting on the sidelines watching scholars un-decor themselves.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Corpus cani:
[Or how about the newly appointed precentor of Lincoln Cathedral in the early 20thC who met the bishop in the close on Easter Morning?

Bishop: Alleluia! Christ is risen!

*pause*

Precentor: Quite so, my Lord, quite so.]

---

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn

Posted                      

quote:

---

"Don't be a sinner when you can be a winner!" proclaims the Oxford Circus guy.

Perhaps the Cult of Cthulhu can do a competing pitch: "Even if you're a sinner, you can still be our god's dinner!"

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by flighty:

If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphillis.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Quite so, my Lord, quite so.

---

Posted                      

quote:

---

...we're not in the habit of catering to the sensitive.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Les, making people laugh is the same as being happy? What happened to the tears of a clown, the lonely agony of the long-distance standup? Have you no soul?

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Hey! I let the two friends I was with go first to see if they keeled over or not.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

The regular Hell Hosts have apparently been struggling to find a suitable reason to close this piece of shit of a thread.

As a special guest host extraordinaire, I find that I have no requirement for reasons.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Die.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I can't remember who it was, but one sparkling day in Hell we had one of those online tests that told you what your spiritual gifts were, and someone who took the test posted:

quote:

---

Oh, hoo-freaking-ray. I have the gift of celibacy.

---

Still gets me giggling.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Papio:
I get a mouse called Ariel.

I don't wanna sodding mouse.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

You don't need to feel stupid all by yourself. We are here to keep you company while you feel stupid. Don't just disregard us as if we were nobodies.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

PE just sucks. It goes sucky sucky suck suck. It has no redeeming features at all.

---

[ 01. May 2007, 10:59: Message edited by: BillyPilgrim ]

--------------------
Do you want to see Jesus or don't yer? Well shurrup then!

Posted                      

quote:

---

Karl the Liberal Backslider said, and I quote,
Seems to me that this Satan is an industrious wee beastie, with all this sending of Bad News. I'm not sure how helpful, or accurate, this sort of "God sending the good things, Satan sending the bad things" dualism is. We can easily end up at "God got me a parking place/Satan made my rear offside puncture in the rain" thinking, and that's when Christianity turns into some kind of cosmic RPG with God and Satan taking turns as dungeon master.

---

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posted                      

quote:

---

You can call yourself Elizabeth Windsor, but that doesn't mean the Queen's corgis will come when you whistle for them.

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

A religion without teeth cannot bite, it can only suck...

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

Originally posted by BillyPilgrim:
Papio on being bullied at school:

quote:

---

PE just sucks. It goes sucky sucky suck suck. It has no redeeming features at all.

---

---

Well, ok. I can see how I could have phrased that better.

--------------------
Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
My "LibraryThing" page

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Papio:

quote:

---

Originally posted by BillyPilgrim:
Papio on being bullied at school:

quote:

---

PE just sucks. It goes sucky sucky suck suck. It has no redeeming features at all.

---

---

Well, ok. I can see how I could have phrased that better.

---

Posted                          

quote:

---

Originally posted by Malin:
I actually felt a moment of determined (and slightly painful) energy as I forced myself over the last railway bridge. I think I might have had my first endorphin

---

Posted                       

quote:

---

"When Jerry Falwell passes away he will be greeted in Heaven by a representative of God who was a Black, Liberal, Lesbian Woman. When I pass away I'll be greeted in Heaven by Jerry Falwell."

---

for ol' Jerry

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano