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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

I bet if you put her soul under a microscope, it would look like a little scrap of decayed lichen. Rarely have I met someone who devoted so much energy to backstabbing and trash talking sabotaging and needless competing. She-- BRRR! working with her was like sharing a staff room with Elizabeth Bathory.

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Originally posted by comet:
I once went to fill out a new intake form at the opthamologist's office and couldn't remember my name. I had to pull out my driver's license to check.

That was embarrassing.

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Love this!

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Originally posted by Twilight:
Well, it's been five days and my dog is still climbing on my head every morning at 5:00, to make me get up and give her cat his insulin shot, in spite of the fact that I've been daily moving the shot toward six in ten minute increments.

I don't care if we call midnight noon and Jacks beat Aces so long as things stay the same. It's like going through jet lag without the holiday.

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Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Your dog has a cat? And she keeps track of his shots?

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Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
All the dog knows is that if he jumps on Twilight's head in the morning, the cat gets stuck with a needle. Some things are so awesome you don't need an explanation.

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Originally posted by no prophet:
The trend here is most people shack up and only get married to entice their parents to lend them a down payment for a mortgage because they did the no pill-pull out but not soon enough on the tugging, so now they have a gerbil in the cage and think they need to upgrade to the condominium. When I babysit we're smoking cigars from the wrong end, singing The North Atlantic Squadron and drinking rum in our milk, out of bowls. And sling shots. With plenty of rocks.

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Originally posted by mousethief:
I'm not sure what all of this is about, but it's so good it doesn't matter. From the bitching-about-marriages-and-weddings thread in Hell:

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Originally posted by no prophet:
The trend here is most people shack up and only get married to entice their parents to lend them a down payment for a mortgage because they did the no pill-pull out but not soon enough on the tugging, so now they have a gerbil in the cage and think they need to upgrade to the condominium. When I babysit we're smoking cigars from the wrong end, singing The North Atlantic Squadron and drinking rum in our milk, out of bowls. And sling shots. With plenty of rocks.

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Originally posted by mousethief:
Do "Rest in Peace" threads for famous people go in Heaven, Purg, or All Saints?

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Originally posted by Patdys:
Rest in Peace. All Saints.

Rest in Peace? Purgatory.

Rest in Peas. Heaven.

Rest in Pees. Hell.

Rest in Pease. The Styx.

Rest in P's. The Circus.

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it's a bit like meeting one's gynaecologist in Morrisons.

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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

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It may not surprise you to learn that I did not have a very happy relationship with the god that I had created inside my head. That god did not answer my (few and far between) prayers. That god did not give me comfort in times of trouble.

This is probably because the god I had created inside my head lived in a very bad neighborhood.

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God Almighty, not God all matey.

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And I know just which pastard's shell-like I'll be dropping that little gem

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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet

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Originally posted by Jade Constable:
A God who keeps some people at arm's length is a bit of a bell-end...

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Originally posted by Penny S:
The new vicar at a rural church on the borders of Kent and Sussex said from the pulpit at his first service that he didn't want to look down and see a congregation of old people. So the next week he didn't.

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On a bad day, it's hard to tell the difference between him and the south end of a northbound donkey.

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I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

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the early church seems to have put great stock on the presbyterate being able to teach the word, not paint, dance liturgically, or rightly divide lumps of clay.

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...Hey, if you learn stuff by making every mistake in the book, so what? at least you learned, right?

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Originally posted by chive:


My worst dentist was one I saw as a child who smoked while looking at your teeth. He threw me out when I bit him.

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This is a thread for people who want to poop on my lawn. Could those who want to throw faeces at each other for unrelated reasons please get off it? Thanks ever so kindly.

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Originally posted by LeRoc:

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Evensong: For liberation theology (which seems to be Le Roc's leanings) there is plenty.

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Guilty as charged I'd just like to clarify that when I speak about "Christ standing with the poor and the powerless", I don't mean that this is all He did. It's kind of hard to summarize my view on Christology in one paragraph in a blog post. In fact, I would be hard-pressed to completely express it at all.

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Stejjie: The only thing I have about the interpretation put forward by LeRoc is that, on its own, it kind of seems a bit... futile.

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Yes, I see what you mean. Like I tried to explain above, this interpretation doesn't really stand 'on its own' as much as it appeared here. Let me try to begin to formulate what I mean.

In my understanding, part of the reason why God came to this world in Jesus, was to show a way for us to live in relationship with God, with the people and the world around us, and with ourselves. It means putting aside our egoism (which can be a liberation in itself) and trying to do what God asks of us, not because it will give us status (as exemplified in the portrayal of the Pharisees) but because we feel it is the right thing to do.

A big part of trying to live like this has to do with power. If we include our relationship with the poor in this equation, we rapidly see that the reason why they are poor is because power. This is what makes it hard, especially since we should resist the temptation to fight this situation using power ourselves. That is not God's way. We have to find different ways, and that is hard.

And you're absolutely right, this can feel futile and it can be frustrating at times. In my work with poor people, I can feel the trap of frustration and cynicism looming nearby very often. There's so little we can do, and the powers we're up against are so big...

But one of the things I get from the Gospel is that throught Jesus, God felt this sense of futility too. I find this expressed rather well in the 'bitchy' reactions Jesus gave in Luke 9:51–62. God is with us, He knows what it's like. Knowing this can be a liberation in itself.

And of course, the story doesn't end on the Cross. The Resurrection is kind of a hope against all odds to me, a 'fool's hope' as Gandalf expressed it that power won't win in the end. It is this that we can cling to.

Of course, this isn't the only aspect that the Cross and the Resurrection have to me. But I guess this post is already long enough as it is

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All I want for Christmas is not allowed. It may be slightly better than some, but that is just because it is a dried dog turd, not a liquid one.

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E'n so, here below, below,
Let steeple bells be swungen.
And "Io, io, io"
By priest and people sungen.

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You might sing io io but only if you were a cockney dwarf and it was off to work you were going

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
It's like watching "Aliens VS Predator." If I were a guy, I would have a hard-on.

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"Oh Lord preserve me from mine enemies!" rhetoric leaves me picturing some of the psalmists as emo teenagers in skinny jeans with heavy black eyeliner.

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[ 24. December 2013, 20:05: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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Originally posted by Porridge:
Fact is, we're all pretty dodgy. Get over it.

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
He typifies the term "well-balanced" in that he has a chip on each shoulder.

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Totally stealing that line.

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a theological scrapbook

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I have the privilege working in palliative care.

If you are wondering,
Do the staff really care for our deceased friend or relative, for us, or is it an act, a part of the job?

My answer is yes, we care.
We share your stories, tears and laughter. We recognise the honour of being invited into your lives at this time, being part of your story and journey.

We don't always get it as right as we would wish. And I am sorry.

Your stories shape us.
We care.
And we remember.

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]Damn.

I was enjoying being a supreme example of Christian perfection, secure in my righteousness.

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Originally posted by Jane R:
Firenze:

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...emergency muffins...

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[imagines muffins with jam stripes down the side and little flashing blue lights on top]

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A day-brightener from Heaven!

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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.

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Originally posted by Albertus:

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Originally posted by Jade Constable:
...Kitchener was a wankbadger...

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BTW Jade that's a grossly offensive thing to say.

You should know that the preferred term is People Who Have Non-Penetrative Sex With Woodland Animals. It's true that some of the more radical members of the PWHN-PSWWA community are trying to reclaim the word 'wankbadger' for themselves, but none of them would thank you for using it as a term of vulgar abuse.

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I will resist the urge to kick in the teeth anybody who asks me if I am going to get into shape this year. Apple IS a shape and I work hard to maintain it, thank you very much.

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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

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Another one from Charlie-in-the-Box, extracted from a much longer post.

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Originally posted by Charlie-in-the-box:
...I bet the prick who decided to say, "Staff report" on the business closing list doesn't even drag his ugly ass into work either. He belongs in the trench of hell where there is a phone that never stops ringing that you can't reach, a broken copier that can't be fixed and you are always late for a meeting that you can't find. Eat it work, eat a big one!

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I do recall Fr David Nicholls giving some offence to his colleagues in the theology faculty by some tart observations on the Dessert Fathers.

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Originally posted by lilBuddha:
'Ware, Charlie-in-the-box, our Kelly is fickle. She'll pay you attention only long as you feed her pithy quotes. The moment you wish to settle to solid, responsible posting, she flits away.

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

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Originally posted by RooK:

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Originally posted by David:
Phase 5 isn't inevitable. Some Hell Hosts die before they get there.

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I just realized that this is a threat. You complete bastard.

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I'd be happier if someone had nominated me in the 2014 Death Pool

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We believe in the Authorised Version, the Book of Common Prayer, the rule of law, Parliamentary Democracy, not making windows into men's souls, the Music of George Friedrich Handel, custodial sentences for nonces, the autonomy of the reasoning intellect under God, standing alone after the fall of France, tolerance for eccentrics and blessed lunatics, the poetry of Herbert, Betjeman, Eliot and Hill, the Hanoverian Succession, the National Health Service, self-determination for the inhabitants of Gilbraltar and the Falkland Islands, the hymns of John Mason Neale and not taking ourselves too seriously. [clutches lapels, starts sounding like Jim Hacker] We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Sorry, I may have got a bit carried away, there. [Biased]

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Originally posted by lilBuddha:

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Originally posted by comet:
What the ever lovin' fuck?

Sioni, did you leave the freak door unlocked again? We talked about this!

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If the SOF freak door is left unlocked, it would result in a net loss of posters. The host lounge would be empty.

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2 These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon, also known as Peter, and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; 3 Philip and Bartholomew; Bilbo and Frodo; Samwise Gamgee and Peregrin Took; 4 Meriadoc Brandybuck, and Gollum, the one who betrayed him

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You should work out your posting with fear and trembling

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:

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Originally posted by comet:
We have some amazingly ignorant dumbasses who've been managing it around here for years.

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1. Insulting

2. True.

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opening a topic for discussion isn't really all that hard to grasp. seriously. We have some amazingly ignorant dumbasses who've been managing it around here for years.

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Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
It's quite brilliant, and cuts through centuries of turgid waffle.

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